EASTER ROUTE WRONG, HAMMER TIME, DANGEROUS FARTS, TOWN ELECTS CORPSE & DO RE MI

EASTER PILGRIMS TAKE WRONG ROAD

Author’s note: So that we have the facts correct. This article is taken from a piece by Dalya Alberge published by the UK publication the Daily Mail. The actual article can be found here – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1168891/Pilgrims-tracing-steps-Jesus-going-WRONG-way-2-000-years-says-historian.html

For the best part of 2,000 years, pilgrims have flocked to Jerusalem to retrace Jesus’s final steps. The Via Dolorosa, or ‘Way of Suffering’, took them from the Praetorium, where He was condemned to death by Pontius Pilate, to the site of the Crucifixion  -  or so they thought. Now, it seems they may have been walking in the wrong direction.  A respected archaeologist claims that pilgrims have been starting from the wrong end of Jerusalem and that the locations of two of the holiest sites on the route are ‘completely wrong’. Shimon Gibson, a Holy Land specialist, said the traditional start of the Via Dolorosa, north of the Old City, should be at the other end of the city. Since medieval times, Christians have assumed that the Praetorium, the starting point of the route and the Roman headquarters mentioned in the Gospels as the scene of Jesus’s trial, was the Antonia Fortress which stood in the north of Jerusalem. But Professor Gibson said there was ‘no historical basis whatsoever’ for this being the site where Jesus was tried and condemned to death by the Roman governor Pontius Pilate. Little of the fortress’s structure has survived but, having surveyed the remains of its rock-cut base in intricate detail, he concludes that it could not have been more than a military observation tower. He said archaeological excavations pointed to the site of the trial being 900 metres away at the remains of a large paved courtyard south-west of Jerusalem, south of the Jaffa Gate. It was situated between two fortification walls with an outer gate and an inner one leading to barracks where it is most likely that Jesus was held. The open courtyard contained a platform of around two square metres  -  details that ‘correspond perfectly’ with the Gospel of John’s account of Pontius Pilate sitting on a judgment-seat at an elevated place. Professor Gibson, who is based at universities in Israel and America, said: ‘The astonishing thing is that thousands of Christian travellers and pilgrims pass by this site without realising its significance.’  Those who visit the Rock of Calvary ( or Golgotha) within the Church of the Holy Sepulchre to pray at the traditional rock of the crucifixion are also at the wrong location, he believes. The professor’s research, which will be published shortly in The Final Days of Jesus, shows that the site is too narrow to have accommodated one cross, let alone those of the two thieves crucified with Jesus.   Professor Gibson believes the Crucifixion was some 20 metres from the traditionally accepted site, under an apse of the remains of the Church of the Martyrium. ‘Pilgrims walk across this area… without realising its significance,’ he said. Dr Mark Merrony, a specialist in archaeology of the Holy Land and editor of Minerva, the archaeological journal, said Professor Gibson’s research matched details in the Gospel of John and other ancient writings. He added: ‘This discovery provides a crucial insight into the final movements of Jesus and implies that the traditional Way of the Cross should be redefined. It seems likely that millions of pilgrims have been following an incorrect path of veneration.’ But the Reverend Canon Bill Broughton of St George’s, the Anglican cathedral in Jerusalem, said Professor Gibson’s ‘great work will embellish the [Christian] story and make it even more meaningful’ but would not lead to the route being redrawn. He said: ‘It’s the Way of the Cross that we walk in terms of our faith and theology, not the archaeological evidence. ‘Pilgrims of faith want the general pattern. It may not be exactly the same footsteps but, in reality, the place is sanctified by the presence of those who’ve been there and said their prayers.’ The Right Rev Tom Wright, the Bishop of Durham, said: ‘ Archaeology is always open to questions from further research. The Church has nothing to worry about on that score. I always welcome fresh investigations.’

 

CELLPHONE MEETS HAMMER – RESULTS ARE SMASHING

One of my sources of extreme irritation in this technologically laden world is cellphones. It appears I am not alone. In Cheyenne, Wyoming, 13 year-old Dena Christoffersen found that out the hard way.  She sent or received about 20,000 text messages over about a month, and her parents’ phone plan didn’t cover texting. Oops, guess that can’t be good. Her father, Gregg Christoffersen, introduced her phone to a hammer after getting a phone bill for more than $4,750. Ouch, I’m betting that wasn’t in the budget. Verison has said they will work with them to reduce the bill. Dena has been grounded until the end of the school year. I suspect even after her grounding is over, a new cellphone is not in her future any time soon. Maybe they should have gotten her a Playstation instead.

ASSAULT OVER FARTS 

In Waco, Texas, I’ve always believed that town should be spelled Wacko, five men are having lunch in a motel room. One starts passing horrendous gas. I guess he’d never heard of Beano. What do you do? Move? Get some fresh air? Throw up your dinner? Well, Jose Braule Ramirez came up with a novel idea. He grabbed a knife and and threw it at him and stabbed the guy in the leg and then once in the chest for good measure. No knows what he hoped to accomplish by this but it seems he felt jail would smell better which is where he is currently having all his meals.

 TOWN ELECTS DEAD MAYOR TO FOURTH TERM

I’m always fascinated when things like this occur. Apparently, Winfield, Missouri re-elected their mayor about a month after he died of a heart attack. He was still a candidate because it was too late to print new ballots. I don’t know why the couldn’t have just drawn a line through his name. Intead he won  overwhelmingly, which doesn’t say much for the other candidate, by a margin of 206 votes to 23. Harry Stonebraker died of a heart attack back in March, but still remains Mayor. At least they won’t have to listen to any long acceptance speeches. The only other person that I can think of that has experienced something like this is John Ashcroft when he lost his election to Mel Carnahan who had died in a plane crash. How do you explain something like that, “I lost to a dead man.” It’s got to hurt your ego. “I’m such a pathetic politician they liked the corpse better than me. ” The aldermen said they would appoint someone to serve in the mayor’s position. It was obvious no one wanted the live guy.

FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVEN’T SEEN THIS, IF IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU SMILE, NOTHING WILL.

PRE-SCHOOLER SHOOTS BEAVERS, 2009 YEAR OF… And MALDEN MUD RACE

4 YEAR-OLD HUNTS BEAVERS

Who says babysitting isn’t dangerous. Just ask the Beavers of Jackson, Ohio, Nathan Beavers that is. Nathan was babysitting with some friends when he accidentally stepped on the foot of a four-year-old. The rug rat got so mad that he went into a closet in the bedroom and pulled out a shotgun.  He then proceeded to shoot Nathan with it. I bet this won’t sit well on his resume.  “Done some babysitting in the past but was shot by pre-schooler.” Beavers was hospitalized with minor pellet wounds to his arm and side. Let this be a lesson, next time you volunteer to babysit, make sure you know where the weapons are.

2009, ALL THIS AND MORE

Let me see, why am I humming the words to Aquarius? “Peace will guide the planets and love will rule the stars ” Oh yea, 2009 has been officially designated the International Year of Astronomy, the International Year of Reconciliation… and the International Year of Natural Fibres. So this means we’ll have peace while watching the planets orbit, but we don’t want people getting naked like they did in the sixties so lets make sure we have clothes in there and oh, by the way, we’ll call it “natural fibres” so it’s sounds more politically correct and environmentally sound. Who comes up with this crap. I bet somebody got paid to legislate this.

BRITISH MUD RACE

Apparently mud slinging in Parliament wasn’t enough for these Brits. They decided to start their year out right by going for a wallow in an Essex mudhole. Officially dubbed the “Annual Malden Mud Race,” this bit of winter insanity entails getting dressed up in strange costumes and then trying to race from one side of the mudhole to the other. I expect large quantities of alcohol are mandatory for this. Some 250 people braved sub-zero temperatures to scramble through 365m (1,200ft) of stinking mud. Stink is an understatement. “I work just around the corner from it, it stinks because of the bilge dropped out by ships basically sits on top of the mud (and I guess mixes) when the tide goes out,”  says Dave B, Chelmsford, of Essex. Lovely, makes you want to meet up these these guys at the pub afterwards. “That was hard. It was freezing out there. The mud got deep and I just had to crawl,” said 23-year-old Vicki Sharman, the first woman to cross the finish line. The race, dubbed “the best hangover cure known,” has been a firm fixture on the River Blackwater in Essex since the 1970s, raising thousands of pounds for charity. That’s one batch of cash that probably needs laundering afterwards. This years event was attended by 10,000 smarter people as they were only spectators.

MEXICAN BEAUTY QUEEN DRUG SMUGGLER, and GERMAN BEER LAKE

MEXICAN BEAUTY QUEEN PART OF DRUG GANG

This story is seriously James Bond. Laura Zuniga, a Mexican beauty queen was caught with seven men, $55,000 and several assault weapons. They are suspects in a drug smuggling ring. All I can picture with this story is the sultry babe walking up to the bar, a couple of martinis – shaken, not stirred – and the next thing you know you’re in a high speed boat chase and guys with automatic weapons are sprouting from everywhere. Police say they suspect the dark-haired model, who won the Miss Sinaloa and Queen of Hispanic America pageants earlier this year, was the girlfriend of one of the men arrested. Investigators say he is linked to the Juarez cartel, which operates lucrative smuggling routes into the United States. Laura Zuniga has been dismissed as the official Hispanic America Queen 2008. Well, drugs certainly ruined her life. Dethroned, deposed, denounced, probably deflowered, and detained will end this one’s career. Maybe she could be a Bond girl.

NEW ATTRACTION: LAKE OF BEER

Just in time for New Years, a lake of beer was created in Kassel, Germany. Due to a mishap with a brewery delivery truck, the new landmark was created when 1600 bottles of beer came loose from the truck and smashed all over the road. The freezing cold temperatures froze the beer into a lake. It’s unfortunate that the lake will probably be gone by next year’s Oktoberfest. The truck, carrying 12 tonnes of freshly brewed beer, lost most of its load on a sharp left-hand turn at the bottom of a hill, according to Kassel police inspector Wolfgang Jungnitsch. “A sheet of ice quickly formed and the air was filled with beer fumes,” Jungnitsch said. Such a tragedy. The driver is suppossed to facing a fine for not securing his load. I think he should be prosecuted for alcohol abuse. It’s so hard to get good help these days.

DAUGHTER GIVEAWAY TO IRAQI JOURNALIST, STUTTERING ROBBER, AND MONKEY JUSTICE

 MAN OFFERS DAUGHTER TO SHOE-THROWING IRAQI JOURNALIST

A man in Egypt has decided that his daughter would be a suitable reward for the journalist that pitched his shoes at President Bush in Iraq on Sunday. If you haven’t heard of the incident, you should come out of your cave and pay attention once in a while. An Egyptian man said on Wednesday he was offering his 20-year-old daughter in marriage to Iraqi journalist Muntazer al-Zaidi, who threw his shoes at George W. Bush in Baghdad. I think I’m detecting some strong feelings here. Now certainly Bush has endeared himself to nearly no one, but to have his attacker rewarded with wine, women and song, definately makes a statement.  The daughter, Amal Saad Gumaa, said she agreed with the idea. “This is something that would honour me. I would like to live in Iraq, especially if I were attached to this hero,’” she told Reuters by telephone. This could be serious. She sounds like she’s already packed. Her father, Saad Gumaa, said he had called Dergham, Zaidi’s brother, to tell him of the offer. “I find nothing more valuable than my daughter to offer to him, and I am prepared to provide her with everything needed for marriage,” he added. What’s the matter with a simple Thank-You note. Maybe pay for his lawyer, you can bet he’s going to need that. Zaidi hasn’t given an answer to their “Proposal.” Now that he’s a celebrity, maybe it’s a good time to stay single.

STUTTER GIVES AWAY MAN’S IDENTITY IN ROBBERY

Some people never know when to keep their mouths shut. Take Fred Brantley from Lombard, Illinois for example. He decided he was going to rob a Dunkin’ Donuts shop where he used to work. He probably thought that it was smart hitting someplace he knew well. It probably never occurred to him that it was someplace that he might be known well too. Yes, even though he wore a ski mask, he made the mistake of opening his mouth. He stutters. After running off with $300, an employee calls the police and tells them about the crime and of course… who did it. Heck, they even still had his name and address on file as a former employee.  Yeah, smooth. Moral of story, take care of business and keep your mouth shut.

DON’T MAKE ME ANGRY, YOU WOULDN’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY

I like it when I come across a story that lets me know there’s still a little justice in the world. A man in Sizhou, China was showing off his monkey act. He apparently had three trained monkeys that did tricks. Monkeys learn quickly, especially when pain is involved. One of the monkeys wasn’t riding his mini-bicycle correctly so the trainer decided to beat the monkey viciously. That’s when it all went bad, for the trainer. The other two monkeys sprang to the the other’s rescue. While one monkey twisted their cruel master’s ears, another pulled his hair out in handfuls and bit his neck. Then, when he dropped his cane, the third snatched it up and began beating the trainer around the head until he broke the stick. I have to admit, I’m on the Monkey’s side in all of this, I would have kicked his ass too. The dazed trainer confessed: “They were once wild and these performances don’t always come naturally to them. They may have built up some feelings of hatred towards me.” I wonder what gave him that idea? Near as I can tell the monkeys are smarter than he is. He is currently being investigated for cruelty and may lose his monkeys. Hopefully they’ll be turned loose and no more monkey business for this guy.

O J SIMPSON GOES UP THE RIVER, AUSTRALIA’S KILLER CABBIES, KARAOKE DEATH, AND MORE BAD KARAOKE IDEAS,

 NO ILL FITTING GLOVES THIS TIME

Just as a milestone, the stupidest man on earth, O. J. Simpson, was sentenced to 15 years in prison. He could actually get out in nine. This man is complete idiot! He got away with murder, so what does he do, goes and commits another crime. He also writes a book telling how, if he would have committed the murder, this is how it would have been done. Simpson is obviously dead from the neck up. The sentence was imposed after Simpson, his voice shaking, told Judge Jackie Glass that he was sorry for his actions but believed that he did nothing wrong. The guy just doesn’t get it. Glass brushed his apology aside. “Earlier in this case, at a bail hearing, I said to Mr. Simpson, I didn’t know if he was arrogant, ignorant or both,” Glass said. “During the trial and through this proceeding, I got the answer, and it was both.” A jury convicted Simpson, 61, on 12 charges including conspiracy to commit a crime, robbery, assault and kidnapping with a deadly weapon stemming from a September 13, 2007, incident at Las Vegas’ Palace Station hotel and casino. Where in any of this does it seem that there was no wrong-doing. What a zero. Well, finally he’s going where he belongs. Maybe he can spark some enthusiasm on the prison football team. Ba-Bye. Don’t let the cell door hit you in the ass on the way in.

PSYCHO KILLER CAB DRIVERS

There certainly could be an argument made that some cab drivers are insane, but in Australia they’ve taken it to a new level. A court has ruled there that a criminally insane man convicted of killing his wife should be allowed drive a taxi. The man killed his wife, but escaped a murder conviction on the grounds of insanity. Australia’s Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal says he should be allowed to drive taxis. Now I have seen cab drivers that should be committed, but as far as I know, none of them were convicted killers. So if my cab driver starts heading for the outback instead of my hotel, should I be worried? The public transport minister, Lynne Kosky, says the law will be changed to stop people with similar backgrounds getting taxi licenses. Apparently she looked into her crystal ball, though it seems a little late now. She told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation: “The assurance that I can give to the public is that we will ensure that our taxi industry is safe, we will take all measures and we’re doing that to make sure that our taxi industry is safe, and we will take every step possible to appeal this decision.” Apparently the courts disagree with you. Does this mean that before I get into a cab, I should ask the driver “Have you taken your meds today?” I think I’ll just walk or rent a car when I’m in Australia.  I always knew those Aussies were a touch crazy, but this is a bit over the top.

KARAOKE DEATH

I hate karaoke. I have to admit that some singers, if can call them that, should be taken out back and shot. Well apparently in Malaysia, one Karaoke singer finally met an untimely end. Instead of shooting him though, the customers stabbed him to death. Police said witnesses saw a group of men punch and stab 23-year-old Abdul Sani Doli with a knife at the bar late Wednesday in eastern Sandakan town on Borneo island. Now here’s the thing, they didn’t kill him because his singing was bad. No, he was a microphone hog. Apparently the other bad singers weren’t getting enough mic time and they decided to do something about it. Let this be a lesson to all would-be singers, get up there, embarrass yourself and leave, please. No one wants to actually endure this for any length of time.

KARAOKE AT HOUSTON AIRPORT

OK, while we’re on the subject, don’t get grounded at the Bush International Airport in Houston, Texas. The lounge there has introduced karaoke to make your airport experience even more miserable.  They have set up karaoke booths for travelers, just in time for the holidays. Karaoke seemed the next logical step, said Caroline Schneider, assistant airport manager for customer service. “During the holidays, we have a lot of novice travelers,” she said. “We thought while they are waiting, they can just sing a song.” Well, that’s what you get for thinking. I say fire this woman immediately. Don’t you think that holiday travellers are annoyed enough? Who wants to listen to some drunk plumbing salesman from Cleveland slurring through “White Christmas” at the top of his lungs. I say no, evil, stupid idea. Schneider says small prizes will be given to the singers. Hopefully earplugs will be given to everyone else.

POLICE OFFICER STEALS COCAINE, SAVED BY A CANDY CANE, LOST INFLATABLE BREASTS, AND FISH ART

I GOT SUGAR IN YOUR COCAINE, YOU GOT COCAINE IN MY SUGAR

Now, I know that things like this go on all the time, but I’m always amazed when these guys get caught. Corruption in the police force is certainly nothing new, so when I read about the New Jersey police officer that swapped 10 pounds of Cocaine with sugar out of the evidence room, I really wasn’t surprised. The sweet thief, Alan Souto, a former Haledon council member and Passaic County sheriff’s officer, admitted to the sugar swap to conceal the thefts made during his time assigned to the evidence bureau. It looks like coffee and donuts weren’t quite doing it for this guy anymore. Apparently this was only the tip of the coke rock. The 20-year veteran had 24-hour access to the evidence vault and also admitted that he conspired from August 2007 to July 2008 to steal quantities of the narcotic with other co-conspirators for distribution. The thing that surprises me out of all of this is that the officer is a 20-year veteran. What goes so wrong in your life that you throw the whole thing away over something like this. I guess that just every once in a while, I just don’t get it.

CANDY CANE SAVES THANKSGIVING 

I’ve come to the conclusion that Californians are way too laid back. Normally, Thanksgiving is supposed to be a happy time to spend with people you like. Granted it doesn’t always work out that way but we try. In Sacramento, some folks were enjoying a nice Thanksgiving in their yard and a neighbor apparently doesn’t like to see his neighbors happy. He attacks them with a knife. Now here’s the part that baffles me; he cut several peoples’ clothing before one of them decided to fight back. I would have kicked his ass as soon as I saw a knife coming at me. Finally, one man grabs a two-foot candy cane lawn ornament and knocks the crap out of the guy. Try to explain that when you get to jail. Police said the man with the knife was arrested on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon. Suspicion? The guest who took up the candy cane was not arrested because police determined he acted in self-defense. Ya think? Hopefully he got an extra helping of turkey for saving all these other loser’s butts.

BREASTS LOST AT SEA 

 OK, picture this, you’re walking the shoreline and you find that it is littered with…breasts. Yea I know it sounds like something from a Dali painting. But it seems that there are 130,000 inflatable breasts lost at sea. Yes you could be sailing the ocean and off the port bow, it’s a school of breasts. I wonder if this could make National Geographic. The lost breasts were intended to be distributed with a men’s magazine in Australia named “Ralph.”  The magazine’s editor Santi Pintado asked anyone with information on the current whereabouts of its freebie to get in touch. He said: “Unless Somali pirates have stolen them its difficult to explain where they are. If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know.”  So the manhunt, er breasthunt begins. The container of breasts left the docks in Beijing two weeks ago but turned up empty in Sydney this week. They’ll probably turn up in the lost and fondle eventually.

FISH ART

For most of us, Fish Heads belong in the garbage. Certainly they would never be considered art. French artist Anne-Catherine Becker-Ech­ivard has been creating what she calls her depictions of everyday life. Now you have to decide if her art belongs in the garbage where the fish heads should have been left. Inspired by the silent movies of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, the Frenchwoman uses fish heads on models to address topics ranging from AIDS to repression. I still trying to figure out how she relates Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton to AIDS and Repression. This whole thing seems fishy to me. “Fish are a great method of communicating my opinions on this world,” says the 37-year-old, who lives in Berlin. Personally I think they’re a great way of communicating that you’re too lazy to take out the trash.

BILL CLINTON SENATOR, ROBOT THESPIANS, GOD BLAMED FOR WRECK, SPORTS COFFINS,

BILL CLINTON TO REPLACE HILLARY CLINTON?

The world keeps getting stranger as we go along. Now that Barack Obama has announced Hillary Clinton’s acceptance of the Secretary of State position, there becomes the issue of what to do about her empty senate seat. One of the names being bounced around is that of Bill Clinton. Of course there are other candidates as well that speculation is falling on, but let’s briefly consider this.  If Bill occupies her office, she doesn’t have to move her stuff out as quickly. Both of them know where the bathrooms are and don’t need the orientation tours. The two will probably be invited to guest host an episode of Saturday Night Live. That would be worth it alone.  Bill and Al Gore can attend Capitol Hill functions as the Blues Brothers and have the real band as backup. (This alone will save the taxpayers money on live entertainment fees.) As New York Senator he can get a free NY Jets, Brett Favre jersey. And last, but not least, they can tell the Obamas where the towels are kept. With a little luck the towels will still be there and not sent away by the Bush’s because they were in violation of the Patriot Act. Yes, Bill Clinton back on Capitol Hill, it sort of brings a little color back into the future doesn’t it.

BAD ACTING FROM ROBOTS

OK, I knew some acting can be bad, but where does this get entertaining. In Japan, the world’s first stage play was performed… by robots. Now I know some actors can be considered robots, but now, we apparently have the real thing. Thanks, to the Mitsubishi Corporation for bringing robot actors into the world. I don’t know why they couldn’t have come up with anything intelligent like robots that run into burning buildings. Although I have to admit that it’s probably better than having to watch Tom Cruise. The play they performed was about …what else… a happy time when humans and robots co-exist. It’s about a married couple that has two robots in the house. It’s a drama where the robots play an intensely passionate part which will probably get an Oscar buzz going. The scientists behind the production at Osaka University’s Department of Adaptive Machine Systems say they hope to have an all-robot production in theatres within the next two years. One of their fellow human actors admitted to growing fond of them: “You find yourself developing an affection for the robots. People were saying ‘they’re so cute,’ particularly the female robot. At first I wondered what the fuss was about but I found myself smiling while I was looking at them.” Apparently she didn’t get the concept that “Yes, even you can be replaced by a robot.” Yea you’ll think it’s cute until they elect one President. Of course it has to be Governor of California first.

 

GOD ORDERS CAR WRECK

This one is really weird. Do you ever wonder who’s in that car coming towards you or next to you. Well keep an eye on them because they might be talking to God. And what is God telling them to do? A man who rammed his truck into a woman’s vehicle on a highway early Friday told authorities he crashed into her while going more than 100 mph because God told him “she needed to be taken off the road.” I’m sure this came as a total surprise to the woman. Fortunately both only received minor injuries. “He just said God said she wasn’t driving right, and she needed to be taken off the road,” Bexar County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Kyle Coleman said in the online edition of the San Antonio Express-News. “God must have been with them, ’cause any other time, the severity of this crash, it would have been fatal.” Apparently God was only kidding and had mercy on them both.

SPORTS CASKETS

Are you an avid sports fan? Do you want to show your team spirit, even after you’re gone to that ball stadium in the sky? Well now you can. The MLB is now allowing team logos to be printed on coffins. It’s likely other sports will follow soon. Eternal Images of Lansing, Michigan, has brokered a deal with Major League baseball to send fans into the afterlife, showing their colors so to speak. Their first coffin was sold to a Red Sox fan in Massachusetts. Now you can step up to plate, drop a few thousand and get sent out of the park in your own official team casket. I wonder if they come with a beer coozy?

AN ECONOMIC COUP OF AMERICA

This just came across my desk and I find it alarming so I thought I would pass it on. Wake Up America!

We are witnessing a bankers’ coup d’etat. In the name of saving the economy from a crisis created by their own greed and immense profits, the biggest bankers have taken a country and a people hostage.

“Give us your money and tear up what’s left of your Constitution or we will sink your economy,” is the message from Wall Street and the Bush Administration. “Give us the power and money we demand or you will be left jobless from a new economic depression.
“

Under the pretext of the banking crisis, the Bush Administration is changing the way this country operates. This is not simply taking trillions of dollars from the people and giving it to the richest bankers to do with as they see fit.

Congress is poised to vote to give the Executive Branch of government, and specifically the White House’s political appointees in the Treasury Department, the absolute right to take our money and give it to domestic and foreign banks and corporations without any oversight of elected officials, from the courts, or from the people.

The new legislation states: “Decisions by the Secretary [of the Treasury] pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.” The Legislation allows the Treasury Department to appoint the same bankers who created the crisis to administer and dictate the use of trillions of our tax dollars.

We will not stand by and let the Bush Administration formalize its vision of a “government of, by and for the richest bankers.”

The new system institutionalizes theft on a grand scale. Lehman Brothers bankers will receive $2.5 billion in bonuses after their company went bankrupt last week, but the new dictatorial authority under the White House and Treasury Department has ruled out any relief for the millions of working families who are being foreclosed.

We live in a $15 trillion annual economy. Instead of taking our tax dollars and giving it to the already rich and powerful, these funds should be used provide to decent paying jobs, affordable housing, health care and a good education for our children.
There is another way!

Now is the time to hear the voice of the people. A spineless Congress authorized Bush’s illegal war in Iraq and rubber-stamped the Patriot Act. Now they are being herded like sheep again to give the White House and Wall Street dictatorial control over the people’s money.

Write your congressmen about this before It’s too late.

BRETT FAVRE COMEBACK, POLICE CAR FULL OF COCAINE, BUSTED SUBWAY STRIPPER, DRINKING AND STEALING, AND NEW ORLEANS ROLLER BULL

BRETT FAVRE COMEBACK? 

I couldn’t let this go by without making comment. I’m a lifelong Packer fan, but I’m also a Packer fan, then from time to time, I’m a Packer fan, and did I mention, I’m a Packer fan. Like everyone, I was surprised and a bit saddened when the day came that Brett decided to hang up his cleats. I went through the mourning and then got used to the idea that there would be a young and quite promising replacement waiting in the wings in the form of Aaron Rodgers. OK, now comes the announcement that Favre, arguably the greatest quarterback to grace the field wants to return and not retire. This puts all of us fans on an emotional roller coaster. I’d love to see Favre play some more, but this certainly isn’t fair to the kid that has been patiently waiting for his opportunity to shine. Aaron Rodgers proved last year when he stepped in for Favre in Dallas that he has excellent potential. He was told that it is his team now and the Packer organization is standing by that decision. One major problem. The Green Bay Packers are owned by the fans. Through the chaos of speculation and rumors over the weekend one thing remains clear, the decision as to whether Favre comes back to Green Bay may not be up to current management. Amidst protests at Lambeau Field, a call for an emergency stockholders meeting is being called. The stockholders being several thousand rabid Green Bay fans, no small number of which wouldn’t mind seeing Favre play out the remaining two years of his contract. Certainly his performance last year proved he’s still got Superbowl potential and is a long way from being washed up. Hence the big dilemma. Do you take back the known commodity or move forward into the unknown with possibly another Superbowl trophy hanging as the result? The Packer’s management has a no win situation on their hands, if they proceed with out Favre and have a crap season, Ted Thompson the General Manager will take a lot of heat. If Favre comes back and happens to crash and burn, same result. But what if that second Superbowl ring is in the cards for Favre and he goes somewhere else and gets it. Ted Thompson would have to move to Siberia. Packer fans would riot. Maybe, the only solution IS to let the fans choose. That way they only have themselves to blame and maybe that’s for the best all the way around.

POLICE DRUG CAR FULL OF DRUGS

 Apparently police didn’t search a car well enough before they decided to use it for themselves. In Dallas, Texas, a car that had been siezed from drug dealers was put into operation for their own undercover narcotics officers. While a police officer was cleaning the 2004 Black Infinity, he discovered some hidden compartments…with 50 pounds of Cocaine. We’re talking a serious stash here. The drug cache hadn’t been previously discovered and the police had been driving around with it for two months without their knowledge. It appears their initial search of the car wasn’t all that thorough. Now they’re trying to figure out who originally owned the car. Seems if they impounded it on a drug siezure, they might have some kind of record. I’m thinking they weren’t too on top of things on this one.

SUBWAY STRIPPER BUSTED

In an effort to protest Chile’s penchant for prudishness, a local stripper took her act onto the neighborhood subway system. Apparently the performance wasn’t appreciated by the authroities who finally caught her during one of her impromptu performances. Personally I’m always up for a little entertainment during a long boring ride. Heck I would have been riding around just hoping to catch her act. Monserrat Morilles, 26, surprised subway riders all week stripping to skimpy underwear, but she refused tips. Who ever heard of a stripper that refused tips. She apparently used the subway poles for her act. She had been elusive all week, getting on quickly and then getting off just as fast so that she would avoid being busted. Monserrat’s luck ran out. “This is just a beginning. We are starting an idea here that will grow and be developed further,” she told Reuters as police and subway guards surrounded her. I never knew stripping could be political activism. We should use that concept in this country. Chilean media dubbed her “La Diosa del Metro” or Subway Goddess. She called her performances “happy minutes.” Yes I can see having “Happy Minutes.” More “Happy Minutes.” “Chile is still a pretty timid country,” said her manager Gustavo Pradenas. “People aren’t very extroverted and we want to take aim at that and make Chile a happier country.” Yes, happy, happy, happy, let’s all be happy.

 DON’T DRINK AND STEAL

Probably one of the worst things you can do before committing a crime is get loaded. Spending a few hours building up some false courage before a quick B&E is just bad planning. John Michale Baker of Winnsboro, Texas did just that and everything one going alright, at first. The lady of the house saw him going inside and called her husband, who hurried home to deal with the thief. In the meantime of course the police were notified. Baker was just making his getaway when he arrived. The husband recognized Baker and wandered over to chat with him and Baker apparently a friendly drunk obliged talking with the husband right up until when the police arrived. Moral: If you’re gonna steal, steal don’t talk.

RUNNING WITH BULL, NEW ORLEANS?

Now this is a sport I can get behind…or in front of as the case may be. As usual New Orleans has come up with a twist on an old custom and this one has less patients in the hospital. Picture it. Hundreds of men, women and children, most in white with red scarves around their waists and red bandannas around their necks, gathered outside a French Quarter bar, I can see where the bar is real important in this one, Saturday morning to be chased down Bourbon Street by members of New Orleans’ roller derby league. Got that, Roller Babes. “Roller skates and a stampede through the Quarter — what could possibly go wrong?” said accountant Jason Medonia. Oh I don’t know, those roller girls can be pretty rough when they want to. 33 roller girls in horned helmets from teams with names like Confederacy of Punches and Crescent Wenches, took off to pursue the runners and strike them resoundly with plastic baseball bats. Oh, baby hit me hurt me. And guess what, Elvis too. Behind them putted Elvis impersonators on motorized scooters. Now what can be more complete than that. OK, maybe a jazz band, but hey, they’re not that hard to find. Sounds like a cool hot time in the Louisiana summer, bull, booze, and babes, everything we’ve come to expect from New Orleans.  

OBAMA NASCAR LEFT TURN, SAVED BY LUNCHBOX, LOST AND FOUND, CITYWIDE POTTY TRAINING, AND WESTERN SPAGHETTI

 OBAMA AND NASCAR?

 They say that politics makes for strange bedfellows. Well, it doesn’t get much stranger than this. BAM racing has solicitied the Barack Obama campaign to sponsor one of their cars. This would make for a strange combination indeed. Nascar and its fans are a bastion of right-wing conservative Republicans that lean to the left only on the racing track. It seems his money would be better spent elsewhere. BAM team spokesman Rhett Vandiver told The Associated Press on Friday that the team has made a sponsorship proposal to the Democratic presidential hopeful’s campaign, and has made similar proposals to the campaign of Republican John McCain and at least one third-party candidate. It appears they are bound and determined to have some sort of political sponsorship no matter where it comes from. Sports Illustrated first reported the proposal on its Web site, saying Obama’s campaign is in talks with BAM, a part-time operation that hasn’t raced in recent weeks, to sponsor its No. 49 car in the Aug. 3 race at Pocono. “I don’t know how far along the discussions are,” Vandiver told AP. Asked about the talks, Obama campaign spokeswoman Jen Psaki said, “We get a lot of good ideas every day, but there are no such agreements in place at this time.” But BAM’s choice of drivers and car brands might turn out to be a little too sticky politically for the Obama camp. The car, a Toyota, the only foreign automaker racing in NASCAR, would be driven by veteran Ken Schrader. According to the Federal Election Commission’s Web site, Schrader gave $1,000 to the campaign of North Carolina Republican congressman Robin Hayes in June 2004, and a total of $2,500 in 2003 and 2004 to the failed Virginia congressional campaign of Republican Kevin Triplett, a former NASCAR official. Also according to the FEC, Mrs. Ann Schrader of Concord, N.C. and Ken Schrader Racing donated a total of $2,000 to President Bush’s campaign in May 2004. None of this makes any sense for Obama. It just seems stupid. It all looks like BAM racing is desperate to find sponsorship anywhere and is clutching for straws. A “vote for Obama” car zipping around the oval driven by Republicans, maintained by Republicans and built by Republicans is just wrong on so many levels. It just seems a little like the beginning of the apocalypse or at least a sign of it anyway.

LUNCHBOX SAVES MANS LIFE

Don’t go anywhere without your lunchbox. Carlos Juarez says his lunchbox saved his life. That’s quite a claim. He was waiting for his ride to work early Tuesday in his driveway when two attempted robbers accosted him, demanding money. Right in your own driveway, is nothing sacred? Carlos replied he had no money and the would-be thieves opened fire, hitting him twice in the side. Juarez said he reflexively held up his lunch cooler over his chest to shield himself from the bullets and the cooler was hit twice. It’s not everyone that can say their lunchbox took a bullet for them, let alone two. ”He thinks the cooler saved his life,” Carlos Paz, a friend who translated for Juarez, told The Associated Press. “If he doesn’t have the cooler, the shots come maybe in the heart.” Juarez still has one of the bullets that was in the cooler. I might keep a souvenir too. A lunch container of rice and meat has a bullet hole, as does a package of gum also in the cooler. After Juarez was shot, he climbed the stairs of the apartment building with the cooler still in his hand. “Carlos, I got shot,” he told his friend. Paz said at first he didn’t believe it, but then saw blood on his friend’s side and called police. Blood would give you a clue. Juarez, who was treated at a hospital and released, says doctors have been unable to remove two bullets from his side because of swelling. He also had a cut on his forehead that he suffered when one of the men hit him with what he thinks was a bat as Juarez reached for the cooler. Juarez, who came to the United States from Ecuador about five years ago, works for a concrete flooring company. No arrests had been made Wednesday.

$55,000 FOUND IN JAIL BATHROOM

Somebody lose something? Possibly a lot of money? Well check lost and found, it appears they have it. A correctional officer at the intake facility at the St. Louis County Justice Center in Clayton, Missouri, last week found $55,000 stuffed behind a toilet paper dispenser. The bundle of money was in $100 and $50 bills, said Clayton Police Chief Thomas Byrne. Officials interviewed inmates about the money, but none admitted knowing anything about the stashed cash. I bet they didn’t. Cash like that inside of prison sounds like a pyoff for something to me. That’s one deal that won’t go down.The money was placed in a special bank account until the owner can be determined, Byrne said. Or arrested, I bet.

CITY POTTY TRAINING RESIDENTS

Imagine, as a grown adult, your city trying to teach you how to properly use the restroom. That is exactly what one city in South Taiwan has started to do. To reduce over 340 tons of waste generated daily, Tainen launched it’s new potty training program which is geared towards teaching its 764,000 residents to flush their toilet paper instead of throwing it in trash cans. Yuck. “An old habit is to throw toilet paper in the trash can beside the toilet, which causes a major stink that’s bad for public sanitation.” Ya think? When “Japanese and Western visitors come to Taiwan, they find this Taiwan toilet habit to be quite poor.” I’d say that’s an understatement. This habit developed because of pipe backup and clogging problems, however the current system can handle the load without backing up. In addition to solving the issue of trash buildup and smell concerns, flushing the toilet paper will actually save the city $600 million a year in trash treatment costs.

WESTERN SPAGHETTI

This is a creative little piece that I just found clever and fun.Check it out.