MAN OFFERS DAUGHTER TO SHOE-THROWING IRAQI JOURNALIST
A man in Egypt has decided that his daughter would be a suitable reward for the journalist that pitched his shoes at President Bush in Iraq on Sunday. If you haven’t heard of the incident, you should come out of your cave and pay attention once in a while. An Egyptian man said on Wednesday he was offering his 20-year-old daughter in marriage to Iraqi journalist Muntazer al-Zaidi, who threw his shoes at George W. Bush in Baghdad. I think I’m detecting some strong feelings here. Now certainly Bush has endeared himself to nearly no one, but to have his attacker rewarded with wine, women and song, definately makes a statement. The daughter, Amal Saad Gumaa, said she agreed with the idea. “This is something that would honour me. I would like to live in Iraq, especially if I were attached to this hero,'” she told Reuters by telephone. This could be serious. She sounds like she’s already packed. Her father, Saad Gumaa, said he had called Dergham, Zaidi’s brother, to tell him of the offer. “I find nothing more valuable than my daughter to offer to him, and I am prepared to provide her with everything needed for marriage,” he added. What’s the matter with a simple Thank-You note. Maybe pay for his lawyer, you can bet he’s going to need that. Zaidi hasn’t given an answer to their “Proposal.” Now that he’s a celebrity, maybe it’s a good time to stay single.
STUTTER GIVES AWAY MAN’S IDENTITY IN ROBBERY
Some people never know when to keep their mouths shut. Take Fred Brantley from Lombard, Illinois for example. He decided he was going to rob a Dunkin’ Donuts shop where he used to work. He probably thought that it was smart hitting someplace he knew well. It probably never occurred to him that it was someplace that he might be known well too. Yes, even though he wore a ski mask, he made the mistake of opening his mouth. He stutters. After running off with $300, an employee calls the police and tells them about the crime and of course… who did it. Heck, they even still had his name and address on file as a former employee. Yeah, smooth. Moral of story, take care of business and keep your mouth shut.
DON’T MAKE ME ANGRY, YOU WOULDN’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY
I like it when I come across a story that lets me know there’s still a little justice in the world. A man in Sizhou, China was showing off his monkey act. He apparently had three trained monkeys that did tricks. Monkeys learn quickly, especially when pain is involved. One of the monkeys wasn’t riding his mini-bicycle correctly so the trainer decided to beat the monkey viciously. That’s when it all went bad, for the trainer. The other two monkeys sprang to the the other’s rescue. While one monkey twisted their cruel master’s ears, another pulled his hair out in handfuls and bit his neck. Then, when he dropped his cane, the third snatched it up and began beating the trainer around the head until he broke the stick. I have to admit, I’m on the Monkey’s side in all of this, I would have kicked his ass too. The dazed trainer confessed: “They were once wild and these performances don’t always come naturally to them. They may have built up some feelings of hatred towards me.” I wonder what gave him that idea? Near as I can tell the monkeys are smarter than he is. He is currently being investigated for cruelty and may lose his monkeys. Hopefully they’ll be turned loose and no more monkey business for this guy.