Werewolf Hunter Arrested in Washington
I keep hoping this guy was just out LARPing and got seperated from his Dungeons and Dragons group. In Bainbridge Island, Wash., Police have detained a man who was found wielding a sword in a parking lot where he said he was “hunting werewolves and chuds.” Sounds like LARPing to me. For those that aren’t geeky enough, LARP stands for Live Action Role Playing. Now you’re all caught up and you can laugh the jokes. At approximately 1:45 p.m. Tuesday, police responded to reports of the man aggressively waving a sword around and stabbing objects in a parking lot. That’s the first place I’d look for werewolves. Officers found the shirtless man standing in front of the store with a large nanite sword in his hand. The man had several scrapes and cuts on his body, officers said. Forsooth it seems he’s engaged the foul beasts. When instructed to put down the knife, the 35-year-old man did so without incident. Officers also found on the man several throwing knives and other sharp weapons. He’s hunting werewolves, did you think he’d be unarmed? The man told investigators he was “hunting werewolves and chuds” who, in many cases, take the form of humans. Based on this information, the officers took the man to Harrison Memorial Hospital for an evaluation. Good decision. Officers said the man had also been spotted approaching customers and displaying his sword and knifes near Ace Hardware in the past. Ace Hardware, a front for a clan of Werewolves? Hmm, the guy in the power tool section did look a little…naw.
Vampire Attacks Cabbie During Robbery
Wow, more vampire stuff, all of a sudden they seem to be coming out of their coffins. New York police are hunting a “vampire” attacker who bit a taxi driver during an attempted robbery. The man attempted to rob the cab driver after allegedly pulling out a semi-automatic handgun. I think I might have handed over the cash. The sight of guns do that to me. When the driver refused to hand over any cash, the man proceeded to bite the driver on the neck. Bites were found on the drivers neck, arm and back. Sounds more like a mad dog than a vampire. I hope he got his rabies shots. The ‘vampire’ fled the scene of the attack shortly afterwards, after failing to steal anything from the cab. Another sucessful day in the world of inept crime. The attacker only began his attempt once he had arrived at his chosen destination near Bronx Community College. Get out the stakes, light the torches, his coffin must be nearby.
Duct Tape not acceptable for silencing the little woman
A Florida man was sentenced to 90 days in jail and a year probation for binding his girlfriend’s hands and taping her mouth shut “so she would listen.” OK, I admit, I’ve had these moment where, yes, I thought about it. But dude, you don’t actually do it. Kevin John Franco of Port St. Lucie pleaded no contest to felony false imprisonment, misdemeanor battery and tampering with a witness after the sleeping woman woke to find him binding her hands with heavy-duty plastic ties. I have to ask, what’s with this tampering with a witness charge? During the October 2008 incident, he also taped her mouth shut with duct tape, TC Palm reports. He apparently wanted her to listen real good. The victim was able to free herself as Franco ripped the phones out of the wall. Uh, Oh, I’m sensing a poorly done tie job here. She used a cell phone to call police. The 34-year-old man admitted to police that he tied her hands and taped her mouth “only so she would listen.” I wonder if the judge will listen. I bet he won’t be able to duct tape him.
Woman Calls Police to Get Her Out of Jail
Ever come across one of those people that just seems to have something missing? This would be one of those people. 29-year-old Carly Houston was arrested in Naperville, Illinois after she allegedly screamed and swore at a taxi driver when he asked for directions to her destination, and then refused to pay the fare when police showed up. Obviously she has issues. She was arrested and taken to the local police station, where she was offered the chance to make a call to a friend or family member. So far so good, but here’s where it all goes so wrong. Instead Houston used the call to dial 911, which connected her to Naperville police dispatchers, to whom she reported that she was “trapped inside the detention facility.” Ok, what brain process could have happened here that could remotely make this seem like it was a good idea? Unfortunately for her, the Naperville police department proved strangely reluctant to free her from the clutches of the Naperville police department. Imagine that. Instead, she was charged with “theft of labor or services,” criminal trespass, disorderly conduct and, for good measure, making a false 911 report. somehow I’m guessing, all that shouting she was doing at the cabbie somehow was carried over to the arrest and frankly, they’d heard enough.
BRETT FAVRE COMEBACK, POLICE CAR FULL OF COCAINE, BUSTED SUBWAY STRIPPER, DRINKING AND STEALING, AND NEW ORLEANS ROLLER BULL
Posted in Animals, Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Pets, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags Aaron, AARP, Art, Baby Boomer, blog, blogging, Brett, Chile, comedy, commentary, conversations, digg, E-zine, editorial, Ezine, Family, fark.com, Farve, Favre, Football, funny, Goddess, Google, Green Bay, history, Humor, iT, Life, literature, Love, Michigan, Mike McCarthy, Music, News, NFL, nude women, nudity, odd, opinion, Packers, paranormal, Politics, porn, random thoughts, Rodgers, Rogers, ruminations, sex, Sports, strange, Subway, Technology, theonion.com, Thoughts, TV, video, viral, weird, Wisconsin, women, wordpress.com, wordpress.org, Writing, Yahoo, youtube, zine on July 14, 2008 by mclassenBRETT FAVRE COMEBACK?
I couldn’t let this go by without making comment. I’m a lifelong Packer fan, but I’m also a Packer fan, then from time to time, I’m a Packer fan, and did I mention, I’m a Packer fan. Like everyone, I was surprised and a bit saddened when the day came that Brett decided to hang up his cleats. I went through the mourning and then got used to the idea that there would be a young and quite promising replacement waiting in the wings in the form of Aaron Rodgers. OK, now comes the announcement that Favre, arguably the greatest quarterback to grace the field wants to return and not retire. This puts all of us fans on an emotional roller coaster. I’d love to see Favre play some more, but this certainly isn’t fair to the kid that has been patiently waiting for his opportunity to shine. Aaron Rodgers proved last year when he stepped in for Favre in Dallas that he has excellent potential. He was told that it is his team now and the Packer organization is standing by that decision. One major problem. The Green Bay Packers are owned by the fans. Through the chaos of speculation and rumors over the weekend one thing remains clear, the decision as to whether Favre comes back to Green Bay may not be up to current management. Amidst protests at Lambeau Field, a call for an emergency stockholders meeting is being called. The stockholders being several thousand rabid Green Bay fans, no small number of which wouldn’t mind seeing Favre play out the remaining two years of his contract. Certainly his performance last year proved he’s still got Superbowl potential and is a long way from being washed up. Hence the big dilemma. Do you take back the known commodity or move forward into the unknown with possibly another Superbowl trophy hanging as the result? The Packer’s management has a no win situation on their hands, if they proceed with out Favre and have a crap season, Ted Thompson the General Manager will take a lot of heat. If Favre comes back and happens to crash and burn, same result. But what if that second Superbowl ring is in the cards for Favre and he goes somewhere else and gets it. Ted Thompson would have to move to Siberia. Packer fans would riot. Maybe, the only solution IS to let the fans choose. That way they only have themselves to blame and maybe that’s for the best all the way around.
POLICE DRUG CAR FULL OF DRUGS
Apparently police didn’t search a car well enough before they decided to use it for themselves. In Dallas, Texas, a car that had been siezed from drug dealers was put into operation for their own undercover narcotics officers. While a police officer was cleaning the 2004 Black Infinity, he discovered some hidden compartments…with 50 pounds of Cocaine. We’re talking a serious stash here. The drug cache hadn’t been previously discovered and the police had been driving around with it for two months without their knowledge. It appears their initial search of the car wasn’t all that thorough. Now they’re trying to figure out who originally owned the car. Seems if they impounded it on a drug siezure, they might have some kind of record. I’m thinking they weren’t too on top of things on this one.
SUBWAY STRIPPER BUSTED
In an effort to protest Chile’s penchant for prudishness, a local stripper took her act onto the neighborhood subway system. Apparently the performance wasn’t appreciated by the authroities who finally caught her during one of her impromptu performances. Personally I’m always up for a little entertainment during a long boring ride. Heck I would have been riding around just hoping to catch her act. Monserrat Morilles, 26, surprised subway riders all week stripping to skimpy underwear, but she refused tips. Who ever heard of a stripper that refused tips. She apparently used the subway poles for her act. She had been elusive all week, getting on quickly and then getting off just as fast so that she would avoid being busted. Monserrat’s luck ran out. “This is just a beginning. We are starting an idea here that will grow and be developed further,” she told Reuters as police and subway guards surrounded her. I never knew stripping could be political activism. We should use that concept in this country. Chilean media dubbed her “La Diosa del Metro” or Subway Goddess. She called her performances “happy minutes.” Yes I can see having “Happy Minutes.” More “Happy Minutes.” “Chile is still a pretty timid country,” said her manager Gustavo Pradenas. “People aren’t very extroverted and we want to take aim at that and make Chile a happier country.” Yes, happy, happy, happy, let’s all be happy.
DON’T DRINK AND STEAL
Probably one of the worst things you can do before committing a crime is get loaded. Spending a few hours building up some false courage before a quick B&E is just bad planning. John Michale Baker of Winnsboro, Texas did just that and everything one going alright, at first. The lady of the house saw him going inside and called her husband, who hurried home to deal with the thief. In the meantime of course the police were notified. Baker was just making his getaway when he arrived. The husband recognized Baker and wandered over to chat with him and Baker apparently a friendly drunk obliged talking with the husband right up until when the police arrived. Moral: If you’re gonna steal, steal don’t talk.
RUNNING WITH BULL, NEW ORLEANS?
Now this is a sport I can get behind…or in front of as the case may be. As usual New Orleans has come up with a twist on an old custom and this one has less patients in the hospital. Picture it. Hundreds of men, women and children, most in white with red scarves around their waists and red bandannas around their necks, gathered outside a French Quarter bar, I can see where the bar is real important in this one, Saturday morning to be chased down Bourbon Street by members of New Orleans’ roller derby league. Got that, Roller Babes. “Roller skates and a stampede through the Quarter — what could possibly go wrong?” said accountant Jason Medonia. Oh I don’t know, those roller girls can be pretty rough when they want to. 33 roller girls in horned helmets from teams with names like Confederacy of Punches and Crescent Wenches, took off to pursue the runners and strike them resoundly with plastic baseball bats. Oh, baby hit me hurt me. And guess what, Elvis too. Behind them putted Elvis impersonators on motorized scooters. Now what can be more complete than that. OK, maybe a jazz band, but hey, they’re not that hard to find. Sounds like a cool hot time in the Louisiana summer, bull, booze, and babes, everything we’ve come to expect from New Orleans.
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