HILLARY WINS WEST VIRGINIA WHILE OBAMA SHOOTS POOL
As expected HIllary Clinton won the Democratic Primary by her largest margin so far. Barack Obama conceded the contest even before it took place and spent some time trying to put the eight ball in the corner pocket. He apparently decided to stop off at a West Virginia bar and knock a few balls around with the patrons. It really gives you that workingman’s friend image doesn’t it. Hopefully he was better at that than he was bowling. Next up is Oregon where the candidates will again square off. Clinton picked up at least 15 more delegates with the win and she may get more of the 28 total. Obama is currently trying to set up a late summer/fall tour where he and McCain would appear together so that they could debate side by side, sort of a Barackapalooza.
VELCRO MILESTONE!
Today is the 50th anniversary of the most useful substance on earth next to duct tape. It’s velcro and the anniversary was celebrated by employees of the New Hampshire based company lining up on a parade route for a mile and a half for a group rip of velcro. The sound of velcro filled the air as everyone pulled at the same time. There’s a rumor that Velcro USA is working on a silent version. I have to say it just wouldn’t be the same. For me, the rip is part of the appeal. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
AUSTRALIAN DRIVER SEAT BELTS BEER, NOT CHILD
Well we know where this guy’s priorities are, proper care and transportation of the beer. In Darwin, Australia, evolution apparently left this guy behind, a man was fined for buckling in his case of beer instead of his child whom he left sitting on the floor. Save the beer, save the beer. The 30-can beer case was strapped in between two adults sitting in the back seat of the car. The child was also in back, but on the car’s floor. “The child was sitting on the lump in the center, unrestrained,” Constable Wayne Burnett told reporters Tuesday. The car was also unregistered and uninsured. You gotta love those wacky Aussies. It’s always gratifying to know that Americans aren’t the only ones doing stupid things.
MAN PHOTOGRAPHS OVER 3,000 WOMEN’S BUTTS ILLEGALLY
In Venice, Italy, a man was arrested for coming up behind women and then photographing their butts. He carried a hidden camera inside a bag to take photos up women’s short skirts. A 38-year old Italian has been arrested and charged with privacy infringement. Police found DVDs in his possession that contained over 3,000 images of women’s bottoms. I wonder if the guy had an intenet site. Police said he had been filming for around two years. Ah Venice, the city of romance. Seems to me it would have been simpler to pick up a copy of Playboy.
MICHAEL MOORE TURNS UP THE FAHRENHEIT
Michael Moore is at it again. With the disasterous turnout for is last film effort “Sicko,” he is resorting to an older formula by reving up a sequel to “Fahrenheit 9/11.” Once again he returns to slamming George Bush and trying to reveal the corruption and dirty dealings of the Bush Administration post 9/11. Now that Bush is on his way out and has an approval rating that is nearly sub-zero, he figures the time is right. Also Bush is probably an easy target and no one will criticize Moore for slamming him. He can’t afford another movie disaster. I think a sequel to “Fahrenheit” will be as big a flop as “Sicko.” I mean who actually cares. He needs to do something new, fresh and original. Maybe something like how bad Hollywood sequels get made. How about days in the life of a washed up director trying to recapture former glory.
TRAFFIC TICKET SURCHARGE, WEDDING BELL BRAWLS, CONTROLLING WEATHER, PYTHON GUARD SNAKE, AND HULA HOOP ANNIVERSARY
Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags AARP, Air Force, Anniversary, Art, attack, Baby Boomer, Ball, blog, blogging, brawl, Bridgeport, britian, cement, comedy, commentary, controlling, conversations, digg, editorial, England, Family, fark.com, fight, funny, Georgia, Google, history, holiday, Holly, hoop, hula, Humor, Inn, James, Ken, Life, literature, Love, Michigan, Music, New, Newburgh, News, nude women, nudity, odd, opinion, Peter, police, Politics, porn, python, rain, Ramada, random thoughts, Rodriguez, roof, ruminations, Russia, Russian, sex, Springs, stabbing, strange, surcharge, Talarico, Technology, theonion.com, Thoughts, ticket, traffic, TV, Viadero, Victor, video, weather, wedding, weird, Whammo, Whamo, women, wordpress.com, wordpress.org, Writing, Yahoo, York, youtube on June 19, 2008 by mclassenPOLICE PAYING FOR GAS THROUGH TRAFFIC TICKETS
The police have found a way to add insult to injury. Are you ready for this? They’re going to tack on a surcharge to your traffic tickets to help pay for the gas. I thought my taxes already did that. Now they’re going to get us coming and going. That’s exactly what they’re doing in Holly Springs, Georgia and if this works, it won’t be long and others will follow their shining example. Drivers caught speeding in this north Atlanta suburb soon will have to pay an extra $12 – to cover $4-a-gallon gas costs for the police officers who stop them. The City Council passed the fee hike, effective July 1, to offset fuel prices that have eaten up nearly 60% of the police department’s 2008 fuel budget, Police Chief Ken Ball says. I suppose all those frivilous stops at the donut shop don’t mean anything do they? He expects the fee increase, which applies to all moving violations and can be rescinded if gas prices fall below $3 a gallon, to generate $19,500 to $26,000 a year for the town of 7,700. Ball says he was seeking ways to maintain patrols despite record high gas prices. “I was hearing that Delta Air Lines, pizza deliverers, florists were adding fuel charges to their services, and I thought, why not police departments?” he says. Well, unlike those commercial businesses, police departments are tax funded so they are suppossed to stay within their budgets. Other cities could follow. Ball says he’s being “inundated” by calls from police chiefs and city managers. “I’ve heard from at least a dozen police chiefs and half a dozen city managers,” he says of the measure passed Monday night. “They want to know how we did it, and could we send them a copy of the ordinance.” See, I said this would spread like a bad virus. Tell me this isn’t going to make them work for their ticket quotas. I can see now how they will be telling the car patrols to make sure they hand out enough to cover their costs. “Get out there, be safe and bring in lots of money.
WHEN WEDDINGS GO BAD
This reminds me of the old westerns where someone throws one puch and then everybody gets in on the act.In Newburgh, New York, a dispute over a camera at a wedding party turned into a 100-person melee which spilled into the parking lot outside of the Ramada Inn where it was being held. Two people were treated at a hospital afterward for stab wounds including the disc jockey who was stabbed in the back of the neck. Tough gig, you should’ve played better music. Another man received treatment after being punched in the face. Cops from the Town and the City of Newburgh, New Windsor, Montgomery, Walden and state police responded, and Talarico says it took nearly two hours for police to restore order. “It just kept going on and on,” said Town of Newburgh Police Sgt. Peter Talarico. “It was a wedding party gone bad.” Cops say they broke up over 30 individual fights among the party guests, and arrested six people at the end of the night. Talarico said there will be no further investigation, because no one at the scene was cooperating with police. It doesn’t sound like they were even cooperating with themselves. Well this is interesting kharma for starting out your new life together. I’d hate to be there at the divorce.
CONTROLLING WEATHER – BAD IDEA
It’s a holiday in Russia. Rain would be a no-no and would put a damper on all the festivities. What do you do? Let’s make it rain now so we get a nice day for the holiday. Right? Well, “A pack of cement used in creating … good weather in the capital region … failed to pulverize completely at high altitude and fell on the roof of a house, making a hole about 80-100cm,” police in Naro-Fominsk told agency RIA-Novosti. Oops, guess we screwed up with that one. Ahead of major public holidays the Russian Air Force often dispatches up to 12 cargo planes carrying loads of silver iodide, liquid nitrogen and cement powder to seed clouds above Moscow and empty the skies of moisture. Ok, doesn’t this mean that immediately thereafter it’s raining cement? Now it’s raining bags of cement. June 12 was Russia Day, a patriotic holiday celebrating the country’s independence after the break-up of the Soviet Union. Stick to fireworks and hope for the best like we do. Cement? Bad idea.
PYTHONS MAKE BAD GUARD DOGS
“Sick ’em” deos not work for a snake. In Bridgeport, England, police were called when they received a report that Victor Rodriquez was threatening his girlfriend with a reptile. Is there such a thing as assault with a reptile? Police Lt. James Viadero says that when the building superintendent opened the apartment door for the officers, Rodriguez allegedly threatened them with the snake and told it to “Get them!” The snake apparently saw no value in this since there was no live mice involved. Rodriguez and his pet were both taken away, Rodriguez to jail on a $10,000 bond, and the albino python to the city’s animal control shelter. They are no charges pending against the snake since he went quietly and refused to be an accomplice.
HULA HOOPS TURN 50
June 18 was the 50th anniversary on one of the funnest and most frustrating toys ever invented, the HUla Hoop. Those who learned to do it well were the envy of all those like me that threw our backs out of joint trying. I felt that my back and the hula hoop deserved this recognition.
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