BARACK OBAMA FIGHTS RUMORS WITH WEBSITE
You know there’s trouble when you have to set up an entire website to combat the rumors going around about you. That’s what Barack Obama has had to do. Obama and his wife Michelle seems to have gotten the media going in so many directions that it’s like trying to figure out Tom Cruise. Nobody knows what’s really going on. Hence a website. The Obama political machine has produced a site that should lay to rest everyone’s speculation about the couple with their version of the “truth.” It’s called “Fight the Smears.” Don’t you love that title. The sight is part of the official Barack Obama website and contains everything you wanted to know about the Obamas but were afraid to ask. Only kidding. http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/fightthesmearshome/ Here you’ll find the truth about the infamous Republican “Whitey” tape. You know the one that’s harder to find than Bigfoot. It talks about Obama’s alleged Muslim ties, a copy of his birth certificate, and Obama’s “racist” books. They want the world to know that he’s a sparkly clean young man and that all is well with the world. Why am I suddenly hearing Disney music and little birds breaking out in song? Certainly the candidates should be putting out the information they want voters to see and the media always latches on to any kind of rumor it can find and tailors it to what sells. It makes it difficult on all of us that want to have informed decisions and back someone we really believe in. A website isn’t going to dispel the rumors instigated by the media and the opposition and certainly more will crop up. An information hungry public demands it. I used to start rumors about myself just to see what they sounded like when they got back to me. I found it entertaining. But then, I’m not running for office.
WOMAN PRISONER GETS STUCK IN AIR DUCT
In Sydney Australia, a woman attempting an escape from jail didn’t make it. I have to say it’s not like it is on TV. She got stuck in an air conditioning duct. She had been refused bail so she decided she wasn’t going to stick around. She was wrong. She stuck around alright, literally. It was an hour before they could get her out. Now she faces additional charges of attempted jail break. See, don’t believe everything you see on TV or in the movies. Then you don’t end up in embarrassing articles on the internet.
BOEING 727 IN LOST AND FOUND
A passenger airliner has been sitting on a tarmac in Vienam for over a year. It’s at Hanoi’s Noi Bai airport and no one has come forward to claim it. No one has reported one missing either. If you’re looking for one it’s really big, made out of metal and painted white. The plane is marked with a Cambodian flag and the name Air Dream. It can be claimed at the airport lost and found. I suspect at this point they’d give it to anyone as long as it gets out of their hair. It sounds like a good acquisition for a rock band. Although, with the price of gas, it’s probably not going anywhere soon.
IDIOT STALKER CELLPHONE MASTURBATION LEADS TO CAPTURE
If you’re going to do something weird to someone, deon’t do it over the cellphone. Onanist Benjamin Baker, 27, of Victoria, Australia, was stalking a woman, who in turn went to the police to complain. Police Prosecutor Seaton Lillas said Baker repeatedly harassed his victim by phone and sent her video of him masturbating. Baker, whose timing wasn’t the best, sent her a video of him while she was at the station filling out the complaint. Oops. “The victim answered the call to find Baker again masturbating himself and she showed the officer taking her statement,” Senior Constable Lillas told the court. Well, that’s a zip and shut case. Baker wasn’t sentanced to do any hard time, but his behavior was called “disturbing” by the judge and he was fined $3000. Yea, disturbing, no doubt.
SEX DRUGS AND FOOTBALL – JASON PETER
Jason Peter is a former Carolina Panther who has written a book, not like that’s unusual these days. What is unusual is the amount of drug use and partying he portrays in the tome. He says he could down 60 vicatin, 20 sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka. Woa, dude, how can you write a book. You shouldn’t be able to remember a thing. This makes me wonder about the credibility of this “insightful piece of literature. I think a lot of this crap is made up to sell copies. Peter King of Sports Illustrated writes in an article about the book: “Vicodin. Ambien. Cocaine. Crack. Heroin. GHB, the date-rape drug. Lots of others I’ve never heard of. He’s not sure if he’s been in rehab six or seven times. He’s blown most of the $6.5 million Carolina paid him over a disappointing, injury-filled NFL career with the Panthers. Nights and weeks with prostitutes so numerous … well, so numerous that his Madame at a high-rolling Manhattan brothel ran out of girls for him.” If you’re looking for a book about the workings of the NFL, this isn’t it. It’s the seedy side of life where overpaid atheletes go on incredible binges when they have too much money. Jason Peter wasn’t a very good football player and now we know why. He’s blown all his money and now he’s writing a book so he can buy more drugs and whores. The slander hungry public will flock to throw down their $35.00 a pop to read the trash this guy is offering. Well, there’s a sucker born every minute. And a junkie is still a junkie, even if he can mumble out a few pages to keep his habit going.
HILLARY CLINTON GRADUATION, DRUNK WHEELCHAIR, MISSING FOR 42 YEARS, HULK KIDNAPPED, AND GEORGE CARLIN
Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags 42 years, AARP, Academy, Aleatha, ankles, Art, aunt, australia, Baby Boomer, Barack, Bill, blog, blogging, Bob, broken, Cairns, Carlin, Clinton, comedian, comedy, commentary, conversations, Croatia, Dead, deceased, digg, drunk, E-zine, Ebay, editorial, Ezine, Family, fark.com, funny, George, Golik, Google, grduation, Hedviga, Hillary, history, Hulk, Humor, Incredible, Ironman, James, Joel, Klein, Life, literature, Love, Lowell, Massachusetts, McPadden, Michigan, Music, News, nude women, nudity, Obama, odd, opinion, Patricia, Pelham, Politics, porn, Post, Preparatory, Queensland, random thoughts, Rodham, ruminations, sex, strange, Technology, theonion.com, Thoughts, TV, video, viral, Walters, weird, Wheelchair, Williams, women, wordpress.com, wordpress.org, Writing, Yahoo, youtube, Zagreb, zine on June 24, 2008 by mclassenHILLARY CLINTON’S PROMISE
Hillary Clinton made a guest appearance this weekend at a high school graduation. It appears she is a woman of her word. Clinton said she had known Aleatha “and her wonderful mother, Patricia,” since the girl was 2 and had promised her when she graduated from eighth grade that she would attend her high school graduation. Well, unlike many politicians, she kept her promise and her word. “Four years later, here I am with all of you,” Clinton said. The girl, Aleatha Williams, a campaign volunteer and the daughter of a supporter, introduced the senator to fellow graduates from Pelham Preparatory Academy in the Bronx as “my aunt.” Auntie Hillary, sort of has a ring to it. “No one five years ago, no one four years ago, when I attended Aleatha’s graduation lunch, could have predicted that an African-American and a woman would have been competing for the presidency of the United States in 2008,” Clinton said. Schools Chancellor Joel Klein, who attended the school’s commencement ceremony at nearby Fordham University, said students should always remember that an American hero spoke at their graduation. “She changed America’s view of women,” Klein said. “Someday soon, very soon in America, we will have a woman as president. And you know what that woman will say? ‘I would not be here had it not been for Hillary Rodham Clinton.”‘
MAN IS ARRESTED FOR DRUNK WHEELCHAIR DRIVING
I didn’t know you could get busted for driving a wheel chair drunk, but apparently they fall under the motorized vehicle laws. In Australia a handicapper had been buzzing down the street drunk. He apparently passed out in the turn lane when police came along. Since it wasn’t a handicapped parking spot, he was taken downtown and charged. Police in the tropical northern Queensland city of Cairns said the man had a blood alcohol reading of 0.31, and was so drunk he was asleep at the controls of his motorized wheelchair in a turning lane of a major highway. “It beggars belief,” Police Inspector Bob Walters told the Cairns Post newspaper, adding wheelchairs, bicycles, horses and skateboards were all considered to be vehicles under the local road laws. “It’s unlawful, it is unacceptable and people should realize it could lead to a fatality,” he said. Other motorists on the four-lane highway had to swerve to avoid the wheelchair, police said. Well, next time, stay on the sidewalk.
WOMAN FOUND AFTER 42 YEARS WATCHING TV
You know how neighbors say, “They were such quiet people.” Well it’s really true in this case. Hedviga Golik, who was born in 1924, had apparently made herself a cup of tea before sitting in her favourite armchair in front of her black and white television. That was in 1966 and she was 42. The neighbors reported her missing then and thought she had moved away to live with relatives. She was discovered by police in the Croatian capital of Zagreb, long-dead and sitting in her armchair in front of her black-and-white television 42 years later! You’d think sombody would have at least noticed an odor. A police spokesman said: “So far, we have no idea how it is possible that someone officially reported missing so long ago was not found before in the same apartment she used to live in. When officers went there, they said it was like stepping into a place frozen in time. The cup she had been drinking tea from was still on a table next to the chair she had been sitting in and the house was full of things no one had seen for decades. Nothing had been disturbed for decades, even though there were more than a few cobwebs in there.” No one said if the TV was still on. Weren’t there bills piling up or something? A neighbor, fittingly, remembered Golik as “a quiet woman who kept herself to herself.” Yea, quiet, too quiet.
HELP! HELP! CALL IRONMAN, THE INCREDIBLE HULK IS MISSING
The Hulk has been kidnapped! Call Ironman, Spiderman, the Punisher, locate the Hulk. Police in Lowell, Massachusetts, say a promotional statue for the movie The Incredible Hulk disappeared from its spot in front of a local theater this week. Police Capt. James McPadden says the statue is probably in some kid’s bedroom. There’s brilliant detective work. It’ll probably be on Ebay soon. But he thinks more than one person was involved and that a car or pickup truck was needed to whisk it away. The statue is missing its feet because it was bolted to a platform and whoever took it snapped it off at the ankles. Oh, no, they broke the Hulk. Hmmm, Hulk smashed.
GEORGE CARLIN PASSES AWAY
The world has lost another great soul. George Carlin passed away at age 71. Of course he is one of my personal favorite comedians and I remember him all the way back when he first appeared doing his Hippy Dippy Weatherman routine in the 60’s on TV. Below I’ve posted some of his best routines to remember the moments I know he would want us to remember at his funniest. George’s perspectives on life and the world around us gave us a different way to look at things. Thanks for the laughs George.
GEORGE IN THE BEGINNING
GEORGE ON JOHNNY CARSON WITH FLIP WILSON
SEVEN WORDS
GEORGE ON DEATH
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