Archive for award

AMY WINEHOUSE RACIST CRACK VIDEO, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN OPERA, MONKEY GOD CHAIRMAN, AND METAL BAR BOY

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 9, 2008 by mclassen

AMY WINEHOUSE’S RACIST CRACK VIDEO

A video has been released showing Amy Winehouse in a crack dive singing racist songs. Now this isn’t much of a revelation since most of us already knew she was on crack. The interesting thing about his video is that she may be prosecuted for it. The video which was filmed by her husband Blake in 2007, currently in jail, showed the troubled singer sitting by a table, spread with what has been reported as heroin and drug paraphernalia. Actually, I’m surprised she hasn’t used it in one of her music videos. “Why I’m not going to rehab no, no, no.” This evidence has come into light just days after Britain’s top police officer, Sir Ian Blair, called for celebrities caught snorting drugs on camera to be put on trial. Since the evidence is so ovewherlming in Winehouse’s case she may become a test for Blair’s theory. “My position is that a sensible jury would not expect people to be sniffing talcum powder.” Recently the star has been getting publicity as going to rehab and getting her life back in order, though I for one am not buying her reformed attitude. The video shows exactly how much of a disaster she is. But this new kink in the life of bizzarro Amy certainly could put her back into tailspin mode. She has been making noise about wanting to be a mommy so she can join the ranks of Michael Jackson and Brittney Spears as disfuntional celebrities that should never be allowed to reproduce. Can you see her and Blake trying to raise a kid. It makes you shudder.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN – THE OPERA?

Here’s a genius concept. Let’s turn Brokeback Mountain into an opera. Yes, plans are in the works to convert the academy award winning film into an opera. I can hardly wait, singing cowboys, yuck. The New York City Opera commissioned Charles Wuorinen to compose an opera based on “Brokeback Mountain,” the 1997 short story by Annie Proulx. “Ever since encountering Annie Proulx’s extraordinary story I have wanted to make an opera on it, and it gives me great joy that Gerard Mortier and New York City Opera have given me the opportunity to do so,” Wuorinen said in a statement. They’re aiming for a release date of 2013. Hey aren’t people saying the world will end in 2012? Well maybe that’s the bright side to that, we won’t have to put up with this opera.

COLLEGE INSTATES MONKEY GOD AS CHAIRMAN

I’m not sure how good of an idea this is.  Hanuman, the popular god known for his strength and valor, has been named official chairman of the recently opened Sardar Bhagat Singh College of Technology and Management in northern India, a school official said Saturday. Has anyone looked at his resume. He’s a monkey god! Monkeys like mischief, not business. “It is our belief that any job that has the blessings of Lord Hanuman is bound to be a success,” said Vivek Kangdi. Blessing, yes, actually running the show, not well thought out. The position comes with an incense-filled office, a desk and a laptop computer. Four chairs will be placed facing the empty seat reserved for the chairman and all visitors must enter the office barefoot, said Kangdi, the school’s vice chairman. It seems to me it is going to make it awfully hard to get any decisions here. “When we were looking for a chairman for our institution, we scanned many big names in the field of technology and management. Ultimately, we settled for Lord Hanuman, as none was bigger than him,” Kangdi said. I think next time they should consider an employment service. Though I expect the monkey god works for bananas.

METAL BAR IN MAN’S HEAD

Donovan McGowan lived with the piece of metal inside him for three months after an operation. You would think he’d have done something about this sooner. It’s not like you can’t notice this. The 18-year-old suffered from blinding headaches and also had an unsightly lump on the side of his head. Eventually, he demanded a scan and it was then doctors found the bar. Duh, It’s right there. They said, “This is quite embarrassing but there is something metallic like a tube still in your head. It’s been more than embarrassing for me having to walk about with this lump,” said Mr McGowan, from Glasgow,Scotland. I bet it made it hard to pick up girls. The rod was left behind during an operation at Southern General Hospital, Glasgow, in March after he was hit by a car. From his picture he looks like still has part of the fender in his head.

Metal Bar

JOHN MCCAIN, DOGGY BEER, SPITTING DEATH, DONKEY JAILED, AND SPORK ART

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 20, 2008 by mclassen

 DOES JOHN MCCAIN BELONG IN AN OLD FOLKS HOME?

During election years we brook a lot of babbling. This year’s clueless award goes to John McCain. This guy is starting to make me think he has Alzheimer’s. Maybe he just stands out in the Arizona sun too long.  Yes he’s got experience and has been around the Washington scene for ages, but that just may be the problem. It’s beginning to appear as if he’s been there too long. Judging from this video, it’s a miracle he can function as a Senator, let alone run the country. Over the weekend Mike Huckabee announced that he’d like to be McCain’s running mate. I bet he would. Maybe he sees what I see, a doddering old man that can’t keep anything straight. Maybe he hopes McCain will overdose on viagra trying to keep up with his younger wife and then get the job by default. If this is the best the Republicans have to offer they need to hang it up altogether. At least Obama and Clinton are entertaining. McCain’s just senile. 

LET’S GO TO THE VIDEO TAPE:

 

DOGGY BEER

An australian compny has come up with a brew for your dog. Don’t taste test this for the dog, it’s beef flavored. Dog Beer, or DB, was designed by Sydney pet supplies store owner Elise Schumacher.  “I have drunk it. It tastes like beef and smells like beer.” OK, it’s not something that I’m putting high on my list. Though, it can’t be worse than Bud Light. She claims to have sold hundreds of them and it is a booming product in her pet store claiming real beer isn’t good for dogs. Her version has no alcohol so you won’t be able to get your dog drunk. That’s no fun. Half the fun of letting him drink beer is to watch him wobble.

MAN SPITS TO HIS DEATH

And the nominee is: After returning to their hotel from visiting the disco district of the Swiss town of Cadempino, a 29-year old man and his friend decided to have a spitting contest. They wanted to see who could spit the farthest from their balcony. The 29-year old came to the hair-brained conclusion he needed to get a running start to get some extra distance. He didn’t stop in time and plunged off the balcony to the street below. He wins! His dying at the hopital officially qualifies him for the coveted Darwin Award. None of the names have been released probably due to embarrassment.

 DONKEY THROWN IN SLAM FOR ASSAULT AND BATTERY

In Tuxtla Gutierrez, Mexico, a donkey has been thrown in jail for assault! The ass ended up in the drunk tank after it bit and kicked two people. Officer Sinar Gomez said the donkey will remain behind bars until its owner agrees to pay the men’s medical bills. “Around here, if someone commits a crime they are jailed,” Gomez said, “no matter who they are.” Actually I think a donkey is more of a what than a who. The owner, Mauro Gutierrez said he would try to reach a friendly arrangement to pay the men’s bills, estimated at $420. The victims said the donkey bit Genaro Vazquez, 63, in the chest on Sunday and then kicked 52-year-old Andres Hernandez as he tried to come to the rescue, fracturing his ankle. What I want to know is what did they do to make it so angry, feed it tequila. It would explain the drunk tank.”All of a sudden, the animal was on top of us like it was rabid,” Hernandez said. Yep, sounds like tequila. Police said it took a half-dozen men to control the enraged burro. Chiapas police have thrown animals in the slammer before, including a bull that devoured corn crops and destroyed two wooden vending stands in March. I bet they had a tough time getting that one in a cell. In 2006, a dog was locked up for 12 days after biting someone. It appears the local cops spend more time chasing livestock than they do real offenders. At least it cures the hot meals problem.

ART FROM PLASTIC CUTLERY

I have to admit, I’ve never looked at a spork and thought, could I turn this into a bug. Now I do admit I’ve looked for bugs where I picked up the spork. 70-year-old Peter Rush makes bug art out of plastic cutlery.  The overhead is cheap, he grabs a handful everytime he goes to McDonalds’s and then heats them up, shapes them into what he wants and then paints them. Voila, bug art. “It started a few years ago, when I turned up to do a workshop with children on endangered species,” he said, “I had forgotten my materials but noticed the plastic spoon in my tea was bending. I made a stag beetle from it and it proved a great success so, after that, I started making other insects.” Rush is from Dorset, England and he has quite a collection of his homemade, plastic creepy crawlers. Certainly art is in the eye of the beholder. Spork art, go figure.

cutlery insects