Archive for Carolina

BARACK OBAMA RUMOR WEBSITE, AIR DUCT JAILBREAK, MISPLACED AIRLINER, CELLPHONE STALKER, AND JASON PETER BOOK

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 13, 2008 by mclassen

BARACK OBAMA FIGHTS RUMORS WITH WEBSITE

You know there’s trouble when you have to set up an entire website to combat the rumors going around about you. That’s what Barack Obama has had to do. Obama and his wife Michelle seems to have gotten the media going in so many directions that it’s like trying to figure out Tom Cruise. Nobody knows what’s really going on. Hence a website. The Obama political machine has produced a site that should lay to rest everyone’s speculation about the couple with their version of the “truth.” It’s called “Fight the Smears.” Don’t you love that title. The sight is part of the official Barack Obama website and contains everything you wanted to know about the Obamas but were afraid to ask. Only kidding. http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/fightthesmearshome/ Here you’ll find the truth about the infamous Republican “Whitey” tape. You know the one that’s harder to find than Bigfoot. It talks about Obama’s alleged Muslim ties, a copy of his birth certificate, and Obama’s “racist” books.  They want the world to know that he’s a sparkly clean young man and that all is well with the world. Why am I suddenly hearing Disney music and little birds breaking out in song? Certainly the candidates should be putting out the information they want voters to see and the media always latches on to any kind of rumor it can find and tailors it to what sells. It makes it difficult on all of us that want to have informed decisions and back someone we really believe in. A website isn’t going to dispel the rumors instigated by the media and the opposition and certainly more will crop up. An information hungry public demands it. I used to start rumors about myself just to see what they sounded like when they got back to me. I found it entertaining. But then, I’m not running for office.

 

WOMAN PRISONER GETS STUCK IN AIR DUCT

In Sydney Australia, a woman attempting an escape from jail didn’t make it. I have to say it’s not like it is on TV. She got stuck in an air conditioning duct. She had been refused bail so she decided she wasn’t going to stick around. She was wrong. She stuck around alright, literally. It was an hour before they could get her out. Now she faces additional charges of attempted jail break. See, don’t believe everything you see on TV or in the movies.  Then you don’t end up in embarrassing articles on the internet.

BOEING 727 IN LOST AND FOUND

A passenger airliner has been sitting on a tarmac in Vienam for over a year. It’s at Hanoi’s Noi Bai airport and no one has come forward to claim it.  No one has reported one missing either. If you’re looking for one it’s really big, made out of metal and painted white. The plane is marked with a Cambodian flag and the name Air Dream. It can be claimed at the airport lost and found. I suspect at this point they’d give it to anyone as long as it gets out of their hair. It sounds like a good acquisition for a rock band. Although, with the price of gas, it’s probably not going anywhere soon.

IDIOT STALKER CELLPHONE MASTURBATION LEADS TO CAPTURE

If you’re going to do something weird to someone, deon’t do it over the cellphone. Onanist Benjamin Baker, 27, of Victoria, Australia, was stalking a woman, who in turn went to the police to complain. Police Prosecutor Seaton Lillas said Baker repeatedly harassed his victim by phone and sent her video of him masturbating. Baker, whose timing wasn’t the best, sent her a video of him while she was at the station filling out the complaint. Oops. “The victim answered the call to find Baker again masturbating himself and she showed the officer taking her statement,” Senior Constable Lillas told the court. Well, that’s a zip and shut case. Baker wasn’t sentanced to do any hard time, but his behavior was called “disturbing” by the judge and he was fined $3000. Yea, disturbing, no doubt.

SEX DRUGS AND FOOTBALL – JASON PETER

Jason Peter is a former Carolina Panther who has written a book, not like that’s unusual these days. What is unusual is the amount of drug use and partying he portrays in the tome. He says he could down 60 vicatin, 20 sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka. Woa, dude, how can you write a book. You shouldn’t be able to remember a thing. This makes me wonder about the credibility of this “insightful piece of literature. I think a lot of this crap is made up to sell copies. Peter King of Sports Illustrated writes in an article about the book: “Vicodin. Ambien. Cocaine. Crack. Heroin. GHB, the date-rape drug. Lots of others I’ve never heard of. He’s not sure if he’s been in rehab six or seven times. He’s blown most of the $6.5 million Carolina paid him over a disappointing, injury-filled NFL career with the Panthers. Nights and weeks with prostitutes so numerous … well, so numerous that his Madame at a high-rolling Manhattan brothel ran out of girls for him.” If you’re looking for a book about the workings of the NFL, this isn’t it. It’s the seedy side of life where overpaid atheletes go on incredible binges when they have too much money. Jason Peter wasn’t a very good football player and now we know why. He’s blown all his money and now he’s writing a book so he can buy more drugs and whores. The slander hungry public will flock to throw down their $35.00 a pop to read the trash this guy is offering. Well, there’s a sucker born every minute.  And a junkie is still a junkie, even if he can mumble out a few pages to keep his habit going.

CLINTON DOWN – NOT OUT, DEATH BY PLAYSTATION, NEIL YOUNG SPIDER, STUCK DOG, AND MOM’S OVERTURE

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 12, 2008 by mclassen

 HILLARY CLINTON LOOKS AHEAD TO WEST VIRGINIA

Whether you support her or not, you have to give her credit for not giving up easily. Hillary spent Mother’s Day in West Virginia in a effort to take that state’s primary on Tuesday. Obama spent the weekend in Chicago counting his chickens before they’ve hatched by planning his post convention campaign. Clinton is currently the picture of tenacity as she continues in a campaign that many have declared officially dead. She has stated that she is in it until June and it appears that she means it. One thing’s for sure, Hillary is going down swinging if she goes down at all. She may surprise everyone by having a political near death experience. Everybody out of the way. Charge up the pads. Clear. We’ve got a heartbeat.

 

MAN KILLS NEIGHBOR OVER PLAYSTATION

Edward Stoddard Jr. from Land O Lakes, Florida, suspected his neighbor, Douglas Abrams of borrowing his Playstation 3. The two apparently argued over it and Stoddard shot Abrams, killing him. I would say this guy needed to get a life but now that’s not an option. He’s currently housed in the Dade County lockup awaiting trial. Well I bet he won’t get his PS3 in prison. He’s going to learn about a brand new game, It’s called “Bend over I’ll drive.” The graphics are very realistic.

NEIL YOUNG SPIDER

Neil Young has had a spider named after him. An East Carolina University biologist named Bond, Jason Bond, has discovered a new species of Trap Door Spider and has named it after his favorite musician, Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi. Why a trap door spider reminds him of Neil Young has eluded me but hey it’s a nice gesture anyway.  Bond says that spiders are determined from one species to the next by differences in their genitalia. Now I’m really lost as to what this has to do with Neil Young. Is he an exgroupie? Does he know something about Neil the rest of us don’t? It make you want to go HMMMM. 

BATMOBILE ON EBAY

Apparently the Tim Burton Batmobile is going up for auction on Ebay for half a mil. It can’t be coincidence that this is just in time for the release of the new Batman movie “the Dark Knight.” Yes, you can now cruise around pretending that You, Yes, you can be the caped crusader. Now if you can get one of your friends to don the idiot tights of Robin you can hit the bars. It should send all the girls to you because they certainly aren’t going to him. Buy a beer for the “Wingman.”

DOG FOUND IN TRUCK ENGINE

I may know whay you vehicle has been running doggy lately. Have you ever opend up the hood of your vehicle and found a …dog? Squirrels, chipmunks, I’ve come across a lot of small critters in there but never a dog. Walter Witthoef opened the hood of his F-150 and there staring at him was a stuck pit bull terrier. He had somehow wriggled his way into the back of the engine and was impatiently waiting for someone to let him out or give him a biscuit. To amuse himself while he waited, he sat and chewed on everything in sight. Ah boredom. Animal services arrived and freed the dog who was then reunited with his owner, none the worse for wear. Next time your vehicle won’t start, check the plugs, check the wires and don’t forget to look for the dog.

Pit Bull in engine

 

NOW FOR OUR COMEDY MOMENT OF THE DAY: If you haven’t seen this you really need to. Ode to Mom by Anita Renfroe