Archive for Colorado

MCCAIN’S CENSORSHIP OR SECURITY, SAVED BY A CUP OF TEA, DECAPITATED MAN AND THE COP THIEF, AND MARRY YOUR DOGS

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2008 by mclassen

SECURITY OR CENSORSHIP AT MCCAIN RALLIES

Are the candidates taking security too far? The video below shows a 61-year-old librarian being harrassed and removed from a John McCain town hall meeting in Denver, Colorado. Now as I understand them, town hall meetings are where you meet the candidates and then ask your most probing questions of them to see if they are worthy of your vote. It is also suppossed to be a forum where you express your opinions to candidates to see if they are willing to do something about the issues that are most important to you. This video clearly shows the people in charge of the McCain camp and the meeting trying to stop some individuals who might have dissenting opinions of McCain from even attending the rally. They cite security as their reasoning for refusing the admittance. The police are then called and tickets are issued for trespassing at a public event! Is this Security or censorship? Are our politicians more interested in the orchestration of their gatherings than maybe having a rogue question catch them off guard? How are we to have a political process when the process is quelled. This video shows a disturbing trend with individuals who are obviously no danger to anything being ushered out of sight, out of mind and then to add insult to injury with fines and court appearances when they are performing a valid exercise of their political, not to mention constitutional rights. Last I looked, this was still the United States wasn’t it? Did I miss a meeting?

 A CUP OF TEA SAVED MY LIFE

What do you do when you’re confronted with a knife weilding thief? Why you make him a cup of tea of course. A 30-year-old Tokyo, Japan woman was walking along a corridor in her apartment building with her daughter on Monday when a man brandishing a knife demanded money. I hate it when that happens. When the housewife told him she had none, the man barged into her apartment. Apparently he didn’t believe her. Hoping to calm him, the woman made the thief a cup of tea, whereupon he put his knife away and began a 20-minute monologue about his life. The dude had a Dr. Phil moment. Or maybe it was a Jerry Springer moment, we don’t actually know what he said to her. The woman then gave the man 10,000 yen ($93.34) and ran outside to call the police from a pay phone. The guy should have been paying her for the couch time.  Police rushed to the scene, but the thief had fled and is still being sought. See, a spot of tea can save your life, quick thinking, a friendly ear, it’s all good.

COP SAYS DECAPITATED MAN GAVE PERMISSION TO STEAL HIS BELONGINGS

I can’t believe any one actually bought this load of bull. A  Caledon, Germany, police captain, Dawid Johann Jullies claiming that a decapitated car crash victim  had given him permission to take the floor mats and hub caps from the wrecked vehicle, was subsequently found innocent of theft by an internal police hearing when the investigators concluded that the decapitated victim did indeed give permission, contrary to the family’s claims that this was impossible. What? How stupid were these people? Subsequently, a court agreed with the family and found the officer guilty of theft, sentencing him to 3 years in prison, suspended for 5 years. So in other words, he got off with a “don’t do it again.” However, Julies became the police station commissioner the very next day, or ironically, the head of the police station, despite having been found guilty of theft by the court. There’s nothing like rewarding larceny. Yep let’s give him a promotion. Somtimes there’s just no justice.

MARRY YOUR DOGS, NO MORE “LIVING TOGETHER”

Do you have nore than one dog? Well, don’t let them live in sin anymore, get them a wedding and make their life legal. Yes, it’s a new trend, like Americans didn’t have anything else to spend their money on. The popularity of dog weddings is on the rise and Reverands are finding that a little pet wedding can add an extra boost to their coffers. For the 63% of Americans who own pets, there’s a growing sector of the $40 billion dollar pet industry waiting to sell them wedding-related services like pet marriage counseling, pet wedding planners, pet caterers, pet trainers, and even special pet priests who conduct actual certified pet weddings. As one reverend told the Chicago Tribune: “Marriage for an animal is almost like marriage for a human. An animal union is more like a blessing under God. Well, I am a reverend,” Scott said. He apparently didn’t want to give his full name. “If you’re in a family with two animals and they want to unite in a wedding, what difference does it make? It is not a sign of the Apocalypse. It is a sign that animals often seek to form a lasting bond and have deep commitment.” Keep telling yourself that Scott. Pet owners can make the wedding even more official by getting a real human marriage license and setting up a gift registry at PetSmart. You didn’t think big business wasn’t going to get in on this did you? Question: If the dogs are legally married and they have puppies, does selling them constitute puppy slavery? Does the married couple have recourse to get their children back? I bet there’s some lawyer out there willing to test this.

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IT APPEARS SOMEONE FINALLY FOUND A USE FOR THAT ORDAINMENT LICENSE THEY GOT FROM THE BACK OF ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE FOR $20.

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AIR FORCE ERRORS, GATOR GOLF WATER HAZARD, BIGFOOT REWARD, AND BIG BOOBS – WORLD RECORD

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 6, 2008 by mclassen

AIR FORCE OFFICIALS RESIGN OVER STUPID MISTAKES

Defense officials who spoke on condition of anonymity said that Defense Secretary Robert Gates asked Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Michael Moseley and Air Force Secretary Michael Wynne to step down. And for good reasons. We’re talking some real screw-ups here. In August, for instance, a B-52 bomber was mistakenly armed with six nuclear-tipped cruise missiles and flown across the country. The pilot and crew were unaware they had nuclear arms aboard. The error was considered so grave that President Bush was quickly informed, who was probably off doddering in a corner reading a Dick and Jane book. Next, four cone-shaped electrical fuses used in intercontinental ballistic missile warheads were shipped to the Taiwanese instead of the helicopter batteries they had ordered. Oops, guess that was wrong. Whatever happened to competence in the armed forces? The fuses originated at F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Cheyenne, Wyoming, but the mix-up apparently occurred after the parts were shipped to Hill Air Force Base in Utah. On top of this we get a payola scandal. The Pentagon inspector general found in April that a $50 million contract to promote the Thunderbirds aerial stunt team was tainted by improper influence and preferential treatment. No criminal conduct was found. Of course not, can’t have that kind of scandal now can we? Moseley was not singled out for blame, but the investigation laid out a trail of communications from him and other Air Force leaders that eventually influenced the 2005 contract award. Included in that were friendly e-mails between Moseley and an executive in the company that won the bid. Gee sounds pretty fishy to me. Oh well, all’s well now right? Excuse me if I’m sceptical.

 

ALLIGATOR IN THE WATER HAZARD

In Glen Burnie, Maryland, I didn’t know they had gators in MD, an animal control officer has rid a local golf course of a menace. One of the local golfer’s reported seing a two-foot long creature swimming in one of the course’s ponds. Officer Glenn Johnson got out his fishing pole and decided to see if he could snag it and reel it in. Traps had been set but they had no  luck. Johnson did. Thanks to him the Arundel Golf Park is now free of real hazards in their hazards.

 

REWARD OFFERED FOR BIGFOOT

Wanted, $1million reward for indisputable evidence of Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Abominable Snowman, any of his alias. Yes, there is now a bounty on the head of Bigfoot. In a joint effort, Field and Stream Magazine and Bushnell the binocular maker have put up the reward, offer good until December 15th, void where prohibited by law. This is not a joke, they really have made the offer. The also have stipulated that they are not responsible for any injuries incurred in this endeavor. They have to cover their bases. They will pay the million to anyone who can “provide an unaltered photograph/video, verified and substantiated by a panel of scientific experts, including a zoologist and biologist, the evidence required to prove a Sasquatch/Bigfoot/Yeti exists.” Driver’s, start your engines. Maybe a good place to start would be HERE!

WORLD’S BIGGEST BREASTS – GUINESS SAYS SO

Or maybe you’ll say so after few Guiness’ but it’s true Miss Mounds is the winner. The Guiness Book of World Records recently opened a catagory for largest breasts with implants. The winner is pictured below. Her picture before aumentation is also displayed for comaparison purposes. She suppossedly measures 36mmm. I don’t see where they get the 36 unless they mean 36 ft. Maxi Mounds is a lap dancer from Florida, can she fit on a lap like that? “I contacted Guinness World Records and asked if they had a category for implants, but they said no, so I let it go,” she said. “Then they asked me if I was interested as they were creating a category. Eventually they told me I won. I had the old-style silicone imp­lants, but then came all the scare stories, so I had them replaced with overfilled saline.” But her chest began to sag, so she had tubes put in her armpits so she could be firmed up. In 2000, she had her implants ­removed and the pockets filled with plastic string, a procedure which has been banned.  Couldn’t that be considered breast abuse? A solution was injected to make the breasts produce fluid and ‘inflate,’ but they kept on growing. Now she’s famous at strip joints everyhwere. Her name is in lights and she finally has a gimmick that places can up the cover charge. Jiggle on Maxi. Jiggle on.

Breasts

Maxi when she was Mini

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CONDOLEEZA RICE MEETS KISS, THONG THIEVES, EMPTY HOUSE SHOOTOUT, AMAZON LOST TRIBE, AND MODERN ROBINSON CRUSOE

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 31, 2008 by mclassen

CONDOLEEZA RICE JOINS THE KISS ARMY

Who knew the Secretary of State was a Kiss fan. While in Stockholm, Sweden she decided to “Let her hair down” and take in a show with the aging rockers.  “I was thrilled,” Rice said of her late-night encounter with Kiss’ Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer in the executive lounge of the Sheraton Hotel where they signed autographs and handed out backstage passes and T-shirts to her staff. Late night encounter? This sounds like more than a passing fancy. I can’t wait for the tell-all book on that one. “It was really fun to meet Kiss and Gene Simmons,” she told reporters, noting that they seemed well-informed about current events. The band had asked if she could stop by after she finished dinner with the Swedish foreign minister and Rice readily agreed, she said. When Kiss beacons, she comes? Wow, how does that rate? I didn’t know they had that kind of power. Rice, a classically trained pianist, said she has eclectic musical tastes ranging from Beethoven to Bruce Springsteen. Kiss is apparently one of them. Rice said her favorite Kiss tune is “Rock and Roll All Nite.” I’m sorry, I have a hard time picturing her Rock and Rolling all night and partying everyday. Is there something about her we don’t know. Has she been hiding this closet nightlife? Could she be a mosh-pitter?

Condoleezza Rice and Kiss

 

ROBBERS USE WOMEN’S THONGS FOR MASKS

In Arvada, Colorado, police are searching for two men who robbed a convenience store. instead of useing masks, they decided to use women’s thongs to hide their identities. The two apparent panty sniffers wandered through the store and then went up and demanded money and cigarettes from the clerk. I wonder if she kept a straight face during all of this? The two were unarmed. That’s right, they didn’t even take guns. The two left the store still wearing the thongs on their heads. They actually went out in public like that.

POLICE ATTACK EMPTY HOUSE

Police suspected that criminals from a post office robbery were hiding out in a house in Conset, England. They laid siege to the house for four hours trying to get the suspects to come out with their hands up. Finally the cops gave up and entered the house with dogs. The house was empty. Yep, no one home. So much for that reputed brilliant criminal deduction we’ve heard so much about. Elementary? 

LOST TRIBE DISCOVERED IN BRAZIL

 This is like something out of Indiana Jones. Deep in the Amazon Jungle, a plane flying over Brazil co\aught these images of a previously uncontacted tribe near the Peruvian border along the Envira river. According to authorities, the tribe looks healthy and thriving. They are located in what is called an Ethno-Environmental Protected Area. There are nearly 100 uncontacted tribes in this region and officials strive to keep them that way. “These pictures are further evidence that uncontacted tribes really do exist,” Survival director Stephen Corry said. “The world needs to wake up to this, and ensure that their territory is protected in accordance with international law. Otherwise, they will soon be made extinct.” I like knowing there are still things in the world we know nothing about and that there are a few mysteries left out there. Think of it, a culture with no cellphones, internet, or cable TV.

 

One of Brazil's last remaining uncontacted tribes; Thursday 5/30

One of Brazil's last remaining uncontacted tribes

EXPLORER TO LIVE 300 DAYS ALONE ON AN ISLAND

A French explorer and adventurer Xavier Rosset has decided he is going to live for nearly a year on the remote isolated island of Tofua in the pacific. He intends to turn his adventure into a documentary of a modern day Robinson Crusoe. Tofua is only 30 miles away from where the mutiny on the HMS Bounty took place. Suppossedly Captain Bligh landed there after Spencer Christian set him and his men adrift searching for water.  One of Bligh’s men was buried there. Rosset has picked an interesting place to stay.  The only things he’s taking with him is a Swiss army knife, machete, video camera and solar panels for charging batteries for the camera. I have to admit, I’m a little envious on this one. Nearly a year with no phone, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury. He intends to build a shelter, find fish and plants for food, and gather rainwater for drinking. Sounds like he has this all thought out. Only problem is, I’ve seen a lot of movies about these isolated pacific islands. The volcano always goes off. It can be seen in the picture below, sending off smoke, obviously active.

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JEFF PECKMAN ALIEN VIDEO, UFO MARRIAGE, JAVAN RHINOS, DOG CAMPAIGNERS, AND NANO NOODLES

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2008 by mclassen

JEFF PECKMAN’S ALIEN VIDEO 

JEFF PECKMAN ON DAVID LETTERMAN – JUNE 10

JEFF PECKMAN AND STAN ROMANEK ON LARRY KING – MAY 30

Jeff Peckman of Denver, Colorado has promised the local city council a video that shows an alien peeping into a window. Did you know aliens peek? This video is suppossed to be a part of a documentary on the rise of alien visits. Jeff Peckman, who is pushing a ballot initiative to create an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission in Denver to prepare the city for close encounters of the alien kind, said the video is authentic and convinced him that aliens exist. Must be they stopped by to catch a Rockies game. Peckman said the public will have to wait to see it because it’s being included in a documentary by Stan Romanek, a Colorado native who has reported UFO sightings. So, let’s see, we have an alien video that is going to be shown to the local city commission later today, but no one else gets to view it. That’s convincing. Maybe they are negotiating for a contract with Fox to show it, kind of like the “Alien Autopsy” thing was. “There is no doubt in my mind that (Stan Romanek, a Colorado native who has reported UFO sightings) did not post-produce this material. In other words, it’s not a trick done in special effects,” Jerry Hofmann, a professional film editor with more than 30 years of experience, said in a telephone interview. “I have equipment that will test to see if that shot was recorded originally on that tape, which it was,” he said. All that says is it was actually shot on video tape with no post production work. OK, no digitally enhanced special effects. Hofmann continues, “The thing is about 4 feet tall. The only thing that shows up in the video is his head. It pops up from underneath a window. But his eyes blink. His cheeks move. He turns his head side-to-side. This would be a very elaborate puppet.” It was very nice of that little alien to make sure they got frontal and profile views of him. Sort of reminds me of a mug shot. Well, the hype is on. The debate rages. Certainly the publicity groundwork is already done.  I can’t wait for this on DVD. Maybe the special features will show how they faked the whole thing. “We found this guy at the carney and thought, wow he kind of looks like an alien. He did it for a pack of smokes and some beer.” 

Jeff Peckman

 

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL TRIGGERS UFO ALERT

Since we’re on the subject, in Berlin, Germany, police suddenly received several phone calls from citizens saying they’d sighted UFOs and unusual lights flying above the town of Plattling. This proves how easily people are fooled into believing that aliens are everywhere. When police arrived they found a 29-year old man had just proposed to his girlfriend. He’d thought it would be romantic if he sent up 50 paper lanterns to go with his special moment. The girlfriend said yes. Not every light in the sky is a prelude to invasion.

RARE JAVAN RHINOS

These are the world’s rarest rhinos. There are only around 70 Javan Rhinos in the wild, about 60 of which live in Ujung Kulon National Park on the western tip of Java island. The remainder live in Vietnam. In the first month of operation, five infrared video traps have captured two images of the camera-shy mother and calf, said Adhi Rachmat Hariyadi, head of the World Wildlife Federation’s Ujung Kulon project. “It is very unusual to catch a glimpse of the Javan Rhino deep inside the rain forest,” he said, adding the attacked camera was undamaged and put back on its stand the day after the incident. WWF officials say they plan to relocate several of the rhinos in the park to another part of Indonesia in the hope that they breed. Otherwise, they fear the species could be wiped out in the event of disease or natural disaster. Good luck with that one. I suspect they won’t go quietly.

Javan Rhinos, May 29

DOGS USED AS CAMPAIGNERS 

 In Bacau, Romania, one of the locals campaigning for mayor has come up with an arguably strange idea to get the word out on his campaign. He has turned a pack of stray dogs loose with posters saying “Vote for Radu Nicolau” on their backs. Local animal rights groups are infuriated calling it sick exploitation. I’m not sure how sick it is, but it is creative. Mr. Nicolau was unrepentent, saying: “I love dogs and they can spread the word about my campaign to lots of places quicker than me and my campaign team could.” Plus I suspect, they work for biscuits. There’s nothing like turning loose a pack of dogs on your constiuents.

NANO-NOODLES AND NOODLE BOWL

In this Dec., 2006 photomicrograph released Thursday, May 29, 2008 by The Nakao Hamaguchi Laboratory of the University of Tokyo, a ‘carbon nanotube ramen’ in a bowl with diameter measuring one-thousandth of a millimeter (one-25,000th of an inch) produced by the university’s mechanical engineering Prof. Masayuki Nakao and his students in a project aimed at developing nanotube-processing technology is shown. ‘We believe it’s the world’s smallest ramen bowl, with the smallest portion of noodles inside, though they’re not edible,’ Nakao said. They wouldn’t do much for the appetite anyway. It could be a new concept for dieting though. The microscopic bowl was first created in December 2006, but was only released Thursday after it was entered for a microphotography competition. The students said they did it for fun. OK I have a different definition of fun. Does girls and rice beer mean anything?

In this Dec., 2006 photomicrograph released Thursday, May 29, ...

FOX NEWS PERSON WISHES OBAMA DEAD, SHOPLIFTER’S SHOES, MORGUE SUICIDE, MARRIED TO BERLIN WALL, AND MICHAEL JACKSON UFC

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 28, 2008 by mclassen

FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT WISHES OBAMA DEAD!

I’m so angry right now it’s hard to even write this. What is wrong with people. During a guest analysis spot on Fox News, Washington Times correspondent Liz Trotta said she wished Barack Obama dead. If you haven’t seen this, a video clip is below. This happened during an analysis of Hillary Clinton’s  RFK faux paus the other day. I’m not an Obama supporter and this makes me angry. How can anyone WANT to see violence done on anyone, let alone a candidate. If you don’t like them you don’t vote for them. If the vote doesn’t go your way, that’s the way the game is played. You don’t wish them dead, or worse yet take matters into your own hands. Fox news, not fair and balanced, insane and weird. I worked as a journalist for nearly 30 years and I had an opinion about a lot of things but I always took care to keep it OUT of my reporting.  This is incredibly irresponsible and inflamatory. Liz Trotta, has of course lamely apologized on Fox calling it “an attempt at humor,” but the damage is still there. She said it and it’s out there. People listen to this network. For the life of me I don’t know why. I’m even doubly puzzled now. Fox has a responsibility and so does Trotta. You’re suppossed to report the news, not call for the death of one of the democratic candidates. She criticizes Hillary Clinton up and down, then says something like this and then tries to pass it off as humor in an apology. You’re a sick hippocrite, you should get professional help. You should be banned from the media, for life! The other thing that I find appalling is that U.S. media is NOT reporting this story. I actually found this story in British media who referred me to YouTube. The American media jumps all over Clinton for what may actually have been an honest error, but they ignore something from one of the foremost watched news networks. Fair and Balanced?

 

POLICE MAKE STORE OWNER GIVE BACK SHOES OF SHOPLIFTERS

 A liquor store owner in Durango, Colorado is tired of repeat offenders coming into his store and shoplifting. When he catches a shoplifter he makes them give him a shoe so they will be embarrassed and not come back. I think it is a very creative solution to an ongoing problem. The Durango police disagree. They have told him to knock it off or they are going to prosecute him for felony robbery. Now the shoe is on the other foot so to speak. Shoplifting is a misdemeanor which means that the store owner would be prosecuted harder than the thieves for protecting his store. That’s pretty backward. The owner, Gabe Fidanque, was ordered to return the shoes to their owners, if he can find them. Police Captain Micki Browning says the store owner should “find a different option that doesn’t involve giving up property.”  Findanque found that the thieves would return within hours of turning them over to police. “That’s the whole point of it. They’re too humiliated to come back and ask for their shoe, and that also means they won’t steal again,” Fidanque said. Let’s see the owner has found a non-violent solution to his problem that works and the police want to prosecute him for it. What is wrong with this picture?

MAN IN MORGUE FREEZER WITH DEAD GIRLFRIEND

A man in Taiwan has crawled inside a morgue freezer to try and commit suicide. Grieving over his girlfriend, he crawled into the compartment to be with her. He was found a half-hour later when workers noticed that the temperature in the freezer had gotten unusually high from an unlatched compartment. The girl had died from an overdose of sleeping pills. It appears that both of these folks were unstable. I feel bad for the morgue worker that had to deal with this.

WOMAN MARRIES BERLIN WALL

I wonder if this woman just couldn’t get a date. Eija-Ritta Berliner-Mauer, a 54-year-old woman from Liden, Sweden claims to have married the Berlin Wall back in 1979 and changed her surname to German for Berlin Wall. I wonder what priest performed this ceremony.  She says she finds objects more appealing than people and that she is convinced that she is not the only one that gets pleasure from the relationship. Yep, keep telling yourself that. How do you get concrete turned on. What if it calls you another wall’s name. “Harder harder, oh Great Wall of China you’re so good.” OK, I’m baffled with this. “I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy,” she says. OK, hot for concrete. That’s….different. So what’s this called cementaphilia? Since her “lover” was torn down after the cold war she keeps a model of the wall in her home. I guess at least you don’t have to listen to it complain. I hope she’s good at one sided conversations.

MICHAEL JACKSON LIKES ULTIMATE FIGHTING

Ok, I put this in because this is so stupid. Michael’s always so good for that. Saturday night he went to the UFC Tito Ortiz fight trying to be not noticed. He didn’t succeed. For one thing he arrived in a wheel chair and had his face covered in a shroud. Check out the photo below. I think looking like this would only attract attention. I know I’d be wondering who’s the yo-yo dressed like a dope. Arriving in the wheelchair isn’t real incognito either. Does that mean he got the handicapped parking? It seems to me he attracts more attention when he’s trying not to attract attention. The dude has issues. Is he a dude? I thought UFC is for people that actually have testosterone.

ASTROLOGERS PREDICT ELECTION, FUTURE HOTEL, LOST PARROT, DREW CAREY’S PROMISE, AND FLYING PENIS

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 22, 2008 by mclassen

ASTROLOGERS PREDICT OBAMA WILL WIN

Well, we can all go home now. The astrologers have spoken, election’s over. At a conference in Denver, a group of astrologers did the charts for the presidential candidates. Six panelists predicted the election will go to Barack Obama, thanks to a Saturn-Jupiter conjunction which predicts change. That’s so precise. No matter who wins it means change. The seventh panelist, Shelley Ackerman, saw an Obama win, but worried about Neptune doing something funky in January, endangering his chances of actually taking office. Her colleagues agreed the stars did look dicey in this respect. Keep in mind this is Denver and the oxygen is a little thin there. “Obama’s chart and the United States’ chart are very much alike,” said Sandra Leigh Serio. “From an astrological standpoint, he’s a man of destiny. (John) McCain also has a strong connection to the U.S. chart.” Hillary Clinton? Not so much, apparently. “There’s a little more confusion with her and the U.S. chart,” Serio said. Confusion? I think the whole thing is confusing. The astrologers have left themselves a way out though. “We don’t have a single solid birth chart,” panelist Robert Hand told the crowd. “If those dates are wrong, everything I say is garbage.” And Serio said the panel was “doing this in the shadows of Mercury and Neptune — this might not have any validity at all in a few months.” I told you they had an excuse. Hand ominously noted there would be an eclipse of the sun in August, with Mercury ascending for George W. Bush. This seemed to portend election-day shenanigans. So, much for accuracy. Well, the planets are in line and the stars have spoken. Obama Wins. Now we can all stay home and call it quits.  I guess I’m not all that “star” struck with this. I’m voting anyway.

SHELLEY ACKERMAN – ASTROLOGER PANELIST

Astrologer Shelley Ackerman

 

HOTEL CHAIN’S FUTURE PLANS…ON THE MOON

A budget hotel company has decided to look ahead, way ahead. They are making plans for expansion on the moon and have already purchased a plot. I haven’t found out where it is located or who they bought it from. Who does the moon actually belong to? Premier Inns says it will be welcoming travellers right off the space shuttle within 25 years. They feel that lunar tourism will be common in the next 20 to 30 years and they want to be prepared. ‘The challenges are unique and no doubt as we learn more we will adapt and improve our designs,’ said the company’s construction director, Alex Flach. Challenges are right, less gravity, no air, no McDonalds…yet. I think I still prefer the Carribean.

TEACH YOUR PARROT HOW TO GET HOME

A lost African Gray Parrot named Yosuke has been returned to his owners in Tokyo, Japan because of an unusual trick. The Nakamura family had spent nearly two years teaching the bird their, name and home address including the street number. Police had found the bird on a rooftop and had brought it to the police station, but the bird wasn’t about to spill to the cops. This bird knew his rights and remained silent. It was when Yosuke was turned over to a veterinarian that he began to sing. Actually hekept everybody at the vet’s entertained with his singing. But, in between tunes, he recited his owner’s name and address. They checked and sure enough Yosuke’s owners were there and grateful to get their parrot back. You see, it pays to educate your pets. Yosuke’s mug shot is below.

Yosuke the parrot rests in his cage at his home in Nagareyama ... 

 

DREW CAREY’S PROMISE TO SOCCER FANS

Drew Carey has become part owner in the Seattle Sounders, a new Major League Soccer team. Even though he is a minor owner, it hasn’t stopped him from rattling a few trees right off the get go. Carey is promising season ticket holders that they can fire the team’s general manager once every four years if they don’t like how the team is doing. It’ll be interesting to see how this pans out. Fans with power over your job is a scary thing. Personally I think this would make it hard to get a good manager but I can also see the appeal from a fan perspective. Well, we’ll see how long this lasts. And we’ll see how long it is before the other owners dump Drew.
  

ATTACK OF THE FLYING PENIS

Those crazy Russians are at it again. At a political rally in Russia, a thus far unique kind of disruption occurred. Young Russian activists turned loose a modified radio controlled helicopter. It had become a flying penis. Yes folks it was a flying dick. It made It’s rather disrupting appearance during an address being given by Russian Premier Kasparov, who to his credit took it in stride as best he could. I suspect vodka was involved in the creation of this strange little device. One of Kasparov’s bodyguards risked life and limb and slapped the menacing penis to the floor and then stomped on it. There might be something Freudian in that. If there was a political message attached to this, it was too obscure for me to get it.

flying penis