Korean Pillow Wedding
Some guys are just really hard up. Love can take many forms. A Korean man has fallen in love with and married, a large pillow with a picture of a woman on it. I don’t even want to have to picture the honeymoon. Lee Jin-gyu fell for his ‘dakimakura’ – a kind of large, huggable pillow from Japan which has an image of Fate Testarossa, from the ‘magical girl’ anime series Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha. Talk about not getting out of the house. A little pillow talk anyone? Recently he wed the pillow in a special ceremony, after fitting it out with a wedding dress for the service in front of a local priest. I would have loved to see the look on the priest’s face when Lee approached him with this one. “I want to marry my pillow and I would like you to perform the service.” Personally, I think I might have put in a call to the local shrink. “He is completely obsessed with this pillow and takes it everywhere,” said one friend. I suppose that would make for a cheap date and you don’t have to worry if you’re going to get turned down about spending the night. “They go out to the park or the funfair where it will go on all the rides with him. Then when he goes out to eat he takes it with him and it gets its own seat and its own meal,” other friends commented. He has friends? I might be inclined to keep him at a distance… of several miles.
Don’t Buy Drugs with Money Printed by Parker Brothers
A Kansas man told police officers that he had been beaten and left with a head wound after he tried to buy drugs using Monopoly money. Right from the start that just sounds like a brilliant idea. If they would have killed him this would have been a Darwin Award. The unidentified 33-year-old was pulled over in a traffic stop in Wichita, Kansas last Thursday, and was found to be bleeding from the head. He told officers he had attempted to buy several hundred dollars worth of crack cocaine using money from the popular Parker Brothers Monopoly game. This guy just reeks with stupidity. No wonder they beat him. He uses fake money and tells the cops. To even think this would work proves the guy had to be on drugs. Police spokesman Gordon Bassham said: “The man from whom he had bought the drugs was upset and invited him over to his house and upon arrival struck him in the head several times with a handgun and other people jumped into the fray.” The man’s injuries were not serious, and he has now stopped cooperating with the police’s investigation. Authorities are still searching for his assailants. I bet they’re not searching for them over the assault though.
Breast Milk Cheese
OK, when my wife gave birth and was lactating, I did not think “Wow maybe we can make cheese out of this.” Silly me. Daniel Angerer, head chef at Klee Brasserie in New York, has created breast milk cheese for experimental customers from his wife’s excess breast milk. I guess I missed the boat on that one. After giving birth to their daughter, his wife produced so much breast milk the pair began to freeze the excess. This led to Daniel beginning to wonder if he could use the ingredient in his culinary creations. I thought there were health laws against these kinds of things. Are his wife’s boobs FDA approved? He took his concept to his kitchen, and has since created the special breast milk cheese. Matured for a fortnight, Daniel describes the taste as “Just like really sweet cow’s milk. It wasn’t like, ‘Hey, this is such an amazing cheese.’ It’s just like, ‘Can you use human milk? Yes, you absolutely can!'” I have to admit, that’s not much of an endorsement. Any customer at Daniel’s restaurant can order his breast milk cheese, obviously for a limited time only. Better hurry, he might soon run out of his mediocre tasting cheese. I’ll stick with cheddar.
PRINCE HARRY HAMMERED, MAN REPORTS DRUGS STOLEN, POSTCARD TO J.R.R. TOLKIEN, FACE IN THE TREE, AND GORBACHOV KILLS ZOMBIES
Posted in Animals, Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Pets, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags AARP, Africa, ANJ, Art, Baby Boomer, blog, blogging, Carter, cemetery, cocaine, comedy, commentary, Conan, Connecticutt, conversations, crack, Diana, digg, Drugs, E-zine, East, editorial, Ernest, Ezine, Family, fark.com, funny, Google, Gorbachov, Harry, Hartford, Heavy, history, Humor, JRR, Lesotho, Life, Lin, literature, Lord of the Rings, Love, Magnolia, Malton, Maryville, Max, Metal, Michigan, Minnifield, Music, News, nude women, nudity, odd, opinion, paranormal, Politics, porn, Postcard, Prince, Princess, random thoughts, royal, Royals, ruminations, Russian, sex, South, Stephen, strange, Technology, Tennessee, the music video, theonion.com, Thoughts, Tolkien, TV, video, viral, Ward, weird, women, wordpress.com, wordpress.org, Writing, Yahoo, youtube, zine, Zombies on July 10, 2008 by mclassenPRINCE HARRY GETS HAMMERED IN LESOTHO
Prince Harry worked up a sweat Tuesday as he carted wheelbarrows of cement mixture, filled a ditch and hammered nails from old roofing boards. The young royal was helping refurbish a school for mentally and physically disabled children under the auspices of a charity he founded in the impoverished African kingdom of Lesotho in memory of his late mother. Asked if Princess Diana, known for her charity work around the world, would be proud, he said simply: “I hope so.” I’m sure she would be. We see so much today about what The British Royal family is doing to create the newest flap, but we rarely hear about what they are doing that makes the world better. Harry and his regiment from the Household Cavalry were helping put in wheelchair access, build a new kitchen and lay fencing around the Thuso Center. “I love physical labor,” he said at the start of a three-week visit. “It would be wrong to be a patron of a charity and not get involved.” How often do you hear somebody that’s rich and famous say that. The African trip by members of the Household Cavalry has been planned for some time, but the decision to help the project in Lesotho was suggested by Harry. The Prince first visited Lesotho in 2004, when he met young tuberculosis and AIDS sufferers. Harry and his regiment put in eight hours a day working on the center, occasionally getting in a game of football with local villagers. Violet Moqolobane, 44, a disabled woman who works at the center, was impressed to see the tall, redheaded Harry taking part in both games and work. “Most chiefs don’t act like him,” she said. “They think they are so important.” Pootsela Tseisa, 24, said Harry was behaving as true royalty should. “He loves us. We are one for him, not black or white,” he said. “This is a good example that we should follow. It doesn’t matter how rich or how wealthy your family is.”
MAN CALLS POLICE TO REPORT DRUGS STOLEN
They say that drugs affect your mind and destroy brain cells. In this case it was probably true, but truthfully, I’m not sure he had too many to start with. An East Hartford, Connecticutt man called police to report he had been robbed while trying to buy crack cocaine. You can tell already, this plan is flawed. Max Minnefield called police Monday to tell them he had paid a man and a woman $8 for drugs he never received. Maybe he should have called Walmart. Police charged him with criminal attempt to commit possession of narcotics. During his arraignment Tuesday, Judge Bradford Ward asked Minnefield, “Did you really think the police were going to go after the people?” He added that his question was rhetorical. Well, considering they were suppossed to be dealing, they might want ot consider it. Prosecutors later dropped the charges. Laura Weslund, Minnefield’s public defender, said no drugs were ever found. Of course not, he never got them. This story is just full of brilliant deductions.
THE TREE WITH A FACE
Sometimes nature can play strange tricks. This one is pretty cool. The face-tree was brought into the Daily Times newspaper in Maryville, Tennessee on Monday, by Ernest Ward, a groundskeeper at the local Magnolia Cemetery. Ward said it was found on Monday as he and co-workers cleaned up debris from a weekend storm. According to him, a former worker at the cemetery believes the face is a spirit. If it is a spirit, you just cut it in half, how do you think it feels about that?
LOST TOLKIEN POSTCARD FOUND
Have you ever been tearing out a wall or getting a room a found something kind of cool stuck in the wall or behind something. That’s what happened to a demolision man from England as he was stripping out a house where Lord Of The Rings author J.R.R. Tolkien used to live. Stephen Malton, who runs Prodem Demolition in Bournemouth on the south English coast, was working in the house in the nearby town of Poole before it was bulldozed to make way for a new construction project. “Before we demolish a house we do an internal strip out,” Malton said. “One of the main features was a fireplace, and upon removing that we came across three postcards. The third one was a postcard dated 1968 and addressed to J.R.R. Tolkien.” That would be so cool. Malton said research on the Internet suggested that the carved wooden fireplace with marble inlay, a feature of the house when Tolkien lived there from 1968 to 1972, was already worth up to $250,000. “To tie in both the fireplace and the postcard, we are talking about a price of around $500,000 for the combined pair.” That would be even cooler. That’s one heck of a payday. The postcard was addressed to Tolkien at the Miramar Hotel in Bournemouth, where he and his wife Edith often stayed. It is from “Lin,” which Malton believed could be fellow fantasy author Lin Carter who wrote “Tolkien: A Look Behind ‘The Lord of the Rings,'” published in 1969. He also helped finish writing the Robert E. Howard, Conan series along with L. Spraque DeCamp, as well as wrote dozens of fantasy stories of his own. Depicting a scene from Ireland, it reads: “I have been thinking of you a lot and hope everything has gone as well as could be expected in the most difficult circumstances.” This is an immense find for fantasy collectors. Malton was not sure what the “difficult circumstances” might be. Tolkien had achieved fame by the time he moved to Poole in 1968. He remained in Poole until his wife’s death, when he moved back to Oxford. Tolkien died in 1973, aged 81.
GORBACHOV MEETS ZOMBIES
Now for a bit of culture? from the other side of the world. Below is a link to a music video by a Russian metal band called ANJ. It portrays a battle axe wielding Mikhail Gorbachov fighting a legion of Zombies, saving Mother Russia and bringing western culture to the zombie besieged country. The video is hilarious and a lot of fun. Check it out for some fun Russian humor.
GORBACHOV: THE MUSIC VIDEO – BIGGER AND RUSSIANER from Tom Stern on Vimeo.
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