I GOT SUGAR IN YOUR COCAINE, YOU GOT COCAINE IN MY SUGAR
Now, I know that things like this go on all the time, but I’m always amazed when these guys get caught. Corruption in the police force is certainly nothing new, so when I read about the New Jersey police officer that swapped 10 pounds of Cocaine with sugar out of the evidence room, I really wasn’t surprised. The sweet thief, Alan Souto, a former Haledon council member and Passaic County sheriff’s officer, admitted to the sugar swap to conceal the thefts made during his time assigned to the evidence bureau. It looks like coffee and donuts weren’t quite doing it for this guy anymore. Apparently this was only the tip of the coke rock. The 20-year veteran had 24-hour access to the evidence vault and also admitted that he conspired from August 2007 to July 2008 to steal quantities of the narcotic with other co-conspirators for distribution. The thing that surprises me out of all of this is that the officer is a 20-year veteran. What goes so wrong in your life that you throw the whole thing away over something like this. I guess that just every once in a while, I just don’t get it.
CANDY CANE SAVES THANKSGIVING
I’ve come to the conclusion that Californians are way too laid back. Normally, Thanksgiving is supposed to be a happy time to spend with people you like. Granted it doesn’t always work out that way but we try. In Sacramento, some folks were enjoying a nice Thanksgiving in their yard and a neighbor apparently doesn’t like to see his neighbors happy. He attacks them with a knife. Now here’s the part that baffles me; he cut several peoples’ clothing before one of them decided to fight back. I would have kicked his ass as soon as I saw a knife coming at me. Finally, one man grabs a two-foot candy cane lawn ornament and knocks the crap out of the guy. Try to explain that when you get to jail. Police said the man with the knife was arrested on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon. Suspicion? The guest who took up the candy cane was not arrested because police determined he acted in self-defense. Ya think? Hopefully he got an extra helping of turkey for saving all these other loser’s butts.
BREASTS LOST AT SEA
OK, picture this, you’re walking the shoreline and you find that it is littered with…breasts. Yea I know it sounds like something from a Dali painting. But it seems that there are 130,000 inflatable breasts lost at sea. Yes you could be sailing the ocean and off the port bow, it’s a school of breasts. I wonder if this could make National Geographic. The lost breasts were intended to be distributed with a men’s magazine in Australia named “Ralph.” The magazine’s editor Santi Pintado asked anyone with information on the current whereabouts of its freebie to get in touch. He said: “Unless Somali pirates have stolen them its difficult to explain where they are. If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know.” So the manhunt, er breasthunt begins. The container of breasts left the docks in Beijing two weeks ago but turned up empty in Sydney this week. They’ll probably turn up in the lost and fondle eventually.
FISH ART
For most of us, Fish Heads belong in the garbage. Certainly they would never be considered art. French artist Anne-Catherine Becker-Echivard has been creating what she calls her depictions of everyday life. Now you have to decide if her art belongs in the garbage where the fish heads should have been left. Inspired by the silent movies of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, the Frenchwoman uses fish heads on models to address topics ranging from AIDS to repression. I still trying to figure out how she relates Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton to AIDS and Repression. This whole thing seems fishy to me. “Fish are a great method of communicating my opinions on this world,” says the 37-year-old, who lives in Berlin. Personally I think they’re a great way of communicating that you’re too lazy to take out the trash.
CONDOLEEZA RICE MEETS KISS, THONG THIEVES, EMPTY HOUSE SHOOTOUT, AMAZON LOST TRIBE, AND MODERN ROBINSON CRUSOE
Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags 300, Alone, Amazon, and, Army, Art, Arvada, backstage, Bligh, blog, blogging, Britain, Brits, Bruce, Captain, Christian, Colorado, comedy, commentray, Condoleeza, Conset, conversations, crime, Crusoe, days, digg, documentary, editorial, empty, England, Envira, Explorer, Family, fark.com, film, funny, Gene, Google, history, HMS Bounty, Hotel, Humor, Island, Kiss, Life, literature, lost, masks, Music, Mutiny, News, opinion, Pacific, Paul, Peruvian, police, Politics, random thoughts, Rice, River, Robbers, robbery, Robinson, Rock, Rockers, Roll, Rosset, ruminations, Scotland, Secretary, Sheraton, Simmons, Spencer, Springsteen, Stanley, State, Stockholm, Sweden, Technology, theonion.com, thieves, thongs, Thoughts, Tofua, Tonga, tribe, TV, UK, women, womens, wordpress.com, wordpress.org, Writing, Xavier, Yahoo, Yard on May 31, 2008 by mclassenCONDOLEEZA RICE JOINS THE KISS ARMY
Who knew the Secretary of State was a Kiss fan. While in Stockholm, Sweden she decided to “Let her hair down” and take in a show with the aging rockers. “I was thrilled,” Rice said of her late-night encounter with Kiss’ Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer in the executive lounge of the Sheraton Hotel where they signed autographs and handed out backstage passes and T-shirts to her staff. Late night encounter? This sounds like more than a passing fancy. I can’t wait for the tell-all book on that one. “It was really fun to meet Kiss and Gene Simmons,” she told reporters, noting that they seemed well-informed about current events. The band had asked if she could stop by after she finished dinner with the Swedish foreign minister and Rice readily agreed, she said. When Kiss beacons, she comes? Wow, how does that rate? I didn’t know they had that kind of power. Rice, a classically trained pianist, said she has eclectic musical tastes ranging from Beethoven to Bruce Springsteen. Kiss is apparently one of them. Rice said her favorite Kiss tune is “Rock and Roll All Nite.” I’m sorry, I have a hard time picturing her Rock and Rolling all night and partying everyday. Is there something about her we don’t know. Has she been hiding this closet nightlife? Could she be a mosh-pitter?
ROBBERS USE WOMEN’S THONGS FOR MASKS
In Arvada, Colorado, police are searching for two men who robbed a convenience store. instead of useing masks, they decided to use women’s thongs to hide their identities. The two apparent panty sniffers wandered through the store and then went up and demanded money and cigarettes from the clerk. I wonder if she kept a straight face during all of this? The two were unarmed. That’s right, they didn’t even take guns. The two left the store still wearing the thongs on their heads. They actually went out in public like that.
POLICE ATTACK EMPTY HOUSE
Police suspected that criminals from a post office robbery were hiding out in a house in Conset, England. They laid siege to the house for four hours trying to get the suspects to come out with their hands up. Finally the cops gave up and entered the house with dogs. The house was empty. Yep, no one home. So much for that reputed brilliant criminal deduction we’ve heard so much about. Elementary?
LOST TRIBE DISCOVERED IN BRAZIL
This is like something out of Indiana Jones. Deep in the Amazon Jungle, a plane flying over Brazil co\aught these images of a previously uncontacted tribe near the Peruvian border along the Envira river. According to authorities, the tribe looks healthy and thriving. They are located in what is called an Ethno-Environmental Protected Area. There are nearly 100 uncontacted tribes in this region and officials strive to keep them that way. “These pictures are further evidence that uncontacted tribes really do exist,” Survival director Stephen Corry said. “The world needs to wake up to this, and ensure that their territory is protected in accordance with international law. Otherwise, they will soon be made extinct.” I like knowing there are still things in the world we know nothing about and that there are a few mysteries left out there. Think of it, a culture with no cellphones, internet, or cable TV.
EXPLORER TO LIVE 300 DAYS ALONE ON AN ISLAND
A French explorer and adventurer Xavier Rosset has decided he is going to live for nearly a year on the remote isolated island of Tofua in the pacific. He intends to turn his adventure into a documentary of a modern day Robinson Crusoe. Tofua is only 30 miles away from where the mutiny on the HMS Bounty took place. Suppossedly Captain Bligh landed there after Spencer Christian set him and his men adrift searching for water. One of Bligh’s men was buried there. Rosset has picked an interesting place to stay. The only things he’s taking with him is a Swiss army knife, machete, video camera and solar panels for charging batteries for the camera. I have to admit, I’m a little envious on this one. Nearly a year with no phone, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury. He intends to build a shelter, find fish and plants for food, and gather rainwater for drinking. Sounds like he has this all thought out. Only problem is, I’ve seen a lot of movies about these isolated pacific islands. The volcano always goes off. It can be seen in the picture below, sending off smoke, obviously active.
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