Archive for debt

MCCAIN OBAMA CONDOMS, ROYAL DEBT, UNICORN DEER, AND CLOUD MAKING MACHINE

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 12, 2008 by mclassen

GET YOUR POLITICALLY CORRECT? CONDOMS 

Feeling screwed by this election already and want some payback. Feel the need to become politically erect? The Practice Safe Policy website is selling both John McCain and Barack Obama condoms, from their sister sites, McCainCondoms.com and ObamaCondoms.com. I’m not sure this would help my sex life. The McCain site says these condoms are “old but not expired,” while the Obama site says “who says experience is necessary?” Both sites sell a package of two for $9.95, but shipping is an additional $3. PayPal is accepted, naturally.

For McCain: Give your “troops” the protection they deserve, buy McCain Condoms today! This will turn out to be the ultimate collectors item or a perfect gift for grandpa! Trophy wife approved. For the proud, liberal Republican, conservative Republican.

For Obama: These are uncertain times. The economy’s a ball-buster and the surge went flaccid… but now there’s Obama Condoms, for a change you can believe in! For the elitist penis. They won’t leave a bitter taste in your mouth. When you just want to close the deal.

Yes, show your support for your candidate. The thing that bothers me is that politicians never live up to their promises. Does that mean these might leak like a White House tipster? I say never trust a politician…or one of their condoms. You might have a unexpected tax deduction on the way.

 

 PRINCE CHARLES PAYS 350 YEAR OLD DEBT

Don’t you hate it when the relatives leave unpaid bills.  That’s what happened in this case. A bill that has been hanging out since 1651was just paid by Prince Charles.  The debt was incurred in 1651 when King Charles II, at the time recognized only as the King of Scotland, was preparing for the Battle of Worcester. He asked the Clothiers Company in Worcester to prepare uniforms for his soldiers and pledged to pay afterward, but his forces were defeated and Charles fled to mainland Europe. Needless to say the bill was left out there unpaid. So, it seems Prince Charles didn’t appreciate his descendants fiscal irresponsibility and has taken care of his namesake’s debt. He did decline to pay the interest on it saying “I wasn’t born yesterday.” The Master of the Clothiers Company of Worcester, Andrew Grant, received the money from the prince in a 1650-style gaming purse made by the Royal Shakespeare Company. The two met at the Commandery, the royal headquarters during the battle. “We are very grateful to the Prince of Wales for repaying the debt to the Worcester Clothiers Company,” Grant said. Those Brits, they always have to have a little pomp with their circumstance. The must have been getting a bad score on Freecreditreport.com.

UNICORN DEER DISCOVERED IN ITALY

This is fantasy becoming reality,” Gilberto Tozzi, director of the Center of Natural Sciences in Prato, Italy, told The Associated Press. “The unicorn has always been a mythological animal.” Well, this one is a bit far from the mythological animal, but it is interesting just the same. The 1-year-old Roe Deer, nicknamed “Unicorn,” was born in captivity in the research center’s park in the Tuscan town of Prato, near Florence, Tozzi said. P.T. Barnum would have loved this one. He would have passed it off as, rare one of a kind, never before seen by human eyes. Yep, I can hear him now. But I digress, this way to the egress. This deer was one  half of a pair of twins born in the preserve. Tozzi believes this could be the origin of the unicorn myth. I’m not buying that, but it appears he had to come up with something to say. “This shows that even in past times, there could have been animals with this anomaly,” he said by telephone. “It’s not like they dreamed it up.” Trust me, I live in the land of “more deer than we know what to do with.” They come in all shapes and sizes. One with a unicorn horn wouldn’t surprise me much. I find it interesting, but origin of myths, I don’t think I’d stretch it to quite those limits. He’s a cute little bugger though.

This undated photo provided by the Center of Natural Sciences ...

 

CLOUD MAKING MACHINE

Remember when you were a kid looking up at the sky and you were trying to see what kinds of shapes you could see in the clouds. OK, I still do that. Well, now there is a machine that actually makes predetermined shapes. This may take some of the imagination out of it, but they are intriquing just the same. A former magician, Francisco Guerra, has come up with the concept that terms his clouds “Flogos.” They are made of soap and gases, such as helium, which allow them to fly off and retain their puffy texture. In other words, they are elaborate soap bubbles. “They will fly for miles,” said Mr Guerra. “They are durable so they last a while.” Depending on the weather and the formula used, the Flogos can last from a few minutes to more than an hour. They can fly up to 30 miles and go as high as four miles but normally the little clouds level out at about 500ft. I can see where people will be reporting a lot more UFOs in the future. “It looked like the head of Mickey Mouse.” His machines can pump out a Flogo at a rate of one every 15 seconds. That’s enough to blot out the sun. The clouds can be made in 2ft or 3ft sizes but a 6ft generator is in the pipeline. Current designs are only available in white but Mr Guerra plans to add color options from next year. Wow, clouds with color. I’m not sure how I’ll be able to take that.

Cloud-making machine

Cloud-making machine

Cloud-making machine

SIGN OF THE TIMES

blog post photo

 

BAD POETRY, EBAY WIFE SALE, BARKLEY GAMBLES, AND TALKING VODKA

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 17, 2008 by mclassen

 BAD POETRY OUT SELLS HARRY POTTER 

 At an auction in Edinburough, Scotland 35 original poems of noted bad poet William Topaz McGonagall has out sold Harry Potter at an auction. A collector paid $12,840 for the self published 1890’s work. This proves that if you do something badly, it can still be profitable. Unfortuantely you’ll have to be dead for it to come to pass. The price paid beat out a collection of incribed Harry Potter books which were sold at the same auction for $12,000. McGonagall’s lack of talent was matched only by his delusion and ego. Along with the 35 poems were a portfolio of posters and two copies of his rather short autobiography – “dedicated to himself, knowing none greater.” McGonagall was so bad that he kept an umbrella with him during recitals to shield him from all the rotten tomatoes that were thrown at him. Ah, poetry lovers. The buyer has remained anonymous because he doesn’t want the ridicule of being identified as a fan. Personally, I’d be proud to show that I have a collection of the worst poetry known to mankind, but then, I like the Rocky Horror Picture show.

MAN TRIES TO SELL WIFE ON EBAY

Want to pick up a used…wife? High milage. Paul Osborn, a UK man, has tried to get rid of his wife by posting her for auction on Ebay! It’s official, you really can find anything on Ebay. Osborn found out his wife, Sharon was cheating on him with a co-worker. It was Osborn’s way of letting the world know she was an adulterous, lying, cheating, well, you get the idea. In the listing he suggest that people not bid on her as she’s apparently not worth diddly in his opinion. I can’t say as I blame him. He also has given out the name of her lover, Richard Drew who is also married along with his address, and phone number. Ebay was rather prompt in taking the auction down, probably because they weren’t going to make anything on the auction. Minimum bid, a pence. If he would have been able to complete the auction, it might have saved him some divorce costs. I wish I’d have thought of this for my Ex.

Man Tries to Ditch Cheating Wife on eBay

 

CHARLES BARKLEY GAMBLING DEBT

Wow, former NBA star Charles Barkley owes a casino in Vegas $400,000! Now I’m sure athletes are overpaid. People jump out of windows for things like that. The casino has made repeated calls to Barkley trying to get the debt paid, but he didn’t respond. It took a call from the local prosecutor to get him to own up. He now says he’ll pay the debt since he’s “not broke.” Did he think they were just going to forget about it? People have ended up in umarked graves for less. Over the years Barkley estimates he’s gambled away over $10 million. “Do I have a gambling problem? Yeah, I do have a gambling problem,” Barkley said. “But i don’t consider it a problem because I can afford to gamble.” Well, not paying your debts makes it look like you can’t afford it. Just remember if a couple of guys named Guido start hanging around, you HAVE a problem.

 DOES YOUR VODKA BOTTLE TALK?

 Do you drink alone? Do you prefer to be by yourself? Well, the Russians have come up with a cure for that. it’s the vodka bottle that talks back. The BBC is reporting that Russians are about to begin marketing a brand of vodka with a bottle that talks. I’ve always felt that if my bottle is talking, it’s time to go home. Welcome to the alcoholically induced world of microprocessors. You’ve got to love those crazy Russians. Yes, now you can have a drinking buddy in a bottle. Apparently when ever you open the top, it’s the top that talks, it will offer a variety of Russian toasts and encourage you to drink up. Personally I’ve never needed much encouragement. Now here’s the fun part. The more the top is opened the more the bottle’s speech becomes slurred. Yes your bottle gets drunk with you. The perfect date.  When the bottle’s empty, you’ve outdrank your buddy. Hopefully he’s not the one driving home.

HERE’S A TRIBUTE TO THOSE OF US THAT DRINK ALONE: TGIF!