Archive for England

TRAFFIC TICKET SURCHARGE, WEDDING BELL BRAWLS, CONTROLLING WEATHER, PYTHON GUARD SNAKE, AND HULA HOOP ANNIVERSARY

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 19, 2008 by mclassen

 POLICE PAYING FOR GAS THROUGH TRAFFIC TICKETS

The police have found a way to add insult to injury. Are you ready for this? They’re going to tack on a surcharge to your traffic tickets to help pay for the gas. I thought my taxes already did that. Now they’re going to get us coming and going. That’s exactly what they’re doing in Holly Springs, Georgia and if this works, it won’t be long and others will follow their shining example. Drivers caught speeding in this north Atlanta suburb soon will have to pay an extra $12 – to cover $4-a-gallon gas costs for the police officers who stop them. The City Council passed the fee hike, effective July 1, to offset fuel prices that have eaten up nearly 60% of the police department’s 2008 fuel budget, Police Chief Ken Ball says. I suppose all those frivilous stops at the donut shop don’t mean anything do they? He expects the fee increase, which applies to all moving violations and can be rescinded if gas prices fall below $3 a gallon, to generate $19,500 to $26,000 a year for the town of 7,700. Ball says he was seeking ways to maintain patrols despite record high gas prices. “I was hearing that Delta Air Lines, pizza deliverers, florists were adding fuel charges to their services, and I thought, why not police departments?” he says. Well, unlike those commercial businesses, police departments are tax funded so they are suppossed to stay within their budgets. Other cities could follow. Ball says he’s being “inundated” by calls from police chiefs and city managers. “I’ve heard from at least a dozen police chiefs and half a dozen city managers,” he says of the measure passed Monday night. “They want to know how we did it, and could we send them a copy of the ordinance.” See, I said this would spread like a bad virus. Tell me this isn’t going to make them work for their ticket quotas. I can see now how they will be telling the car patrols to make sure they hand out enough to cover their costs. “Get out there, be safe and bring in lots of money. 

Policeman and motorists

WHEN WEDDINGS GO BAD

This reminds me of the old westerns where someone throws one puch and then everybody gets in on the act.In Newburgh, New York, a dispute over a camera at a wedding party turned into a 100-person melee which spilled into the parking lot outside of the Ramada Inn where it was being held. Two people were treated at a hospital afterward for stab wounds including the disc jockey who was stabbed in the back of the neck. Tough gig, you should’ve played better music. Another man received treatment after being punched in the face. Cops from the Town and the City of Newburgh, New Windsor, Montgomery, Walden and state police responded, and Talarico says it took nearly two hours for police to restore order. “It just kept going on and on,” said Town of Newburgh Police Sgt. Peter Talarico. “It was a wedding party gone bad.” Cops say they broke up over 30 individual fights among the party guests, and arrested six people at the end of the night. Talarico said there will be no further investigation, because no one at the scene was cooperating with police. It doesn’t sound like they were even cooperating with themselves. Well this is interesting kharma for starting out your new life together. I’d hate to be there at the divorce.

 CONTROLLING WEATHER – BAD IDEA

It’s a holiday in Russia. Rain would be a no-no and would put a damper on all the festivities. What do you do? Let’s make it rain now so we get a nice day for the holiday. Right? Well, “A pack of cement used in creating … good weather in the capital region … failed to pulverize completely at high altitude and fell on the roof of a house, making a hole about 80-100cm,” police in Naro-Fominsk told agency RIA-Novosti. Oops, guess we screwed up with that one. Ahead of major public holidays the Russian Air Force often dispatches up to 12 cargo planes carrying loads of silver iodide, liquid nitrogen and cement powder to seed clouds above Moscow and empty the skies of moisture. Ok, doesn’t this mean that immediately thereafter it’s raining cement? Now it’s raining bags of cement.  June 12 was Russia Day, a patriotic holiday celebrating the country’s independence after the break-up of the Soviet Union. Stick to fireworks and hope for the best like we do. Cement? Bad idea.

PYTHONS MAKE BAD GUARD DOGS

“Sick ’em” deos not work for a snake. In Bridgeport, England, police were called when they received a report that Victor Rodriquez was threatening his girlfriend with a reptile. Is there such a thing as assault with a reptile?  Police Lt. James Viadero says that when the building superintendent opened the apartment door for the officers, Rodriguez allegedly threatened them with the snake and told it to “Get them!” The snake apparently saw no value in this since there was no live mice involved. Rodriguez and his pet were both taken away, Rodriguez to jail on a $10,000 bond, and the albino python to the city’s animal control shelter. They are no charges pending against the snake since he went quietly and refused to be an accomplice.

HULA HOOPS TURN 50

June 18 was the 50th anniversary on one of the funnest and most frustrating toys ever invented, the HUla Hoop. Those who learned to do it well were the envy of all those like me that threw our backs out of joint trying. I felt that my back and the hula hoop deserved this recognition.

PRINCESS EUGENIE HIGH JINKS, NAME CHANGE, BEN STILLER VIRAL VIDEO, AND MARCUS VICK TROUBLE

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 15, 2008 by mclassen

PRINCESS EUGENIE CAUGHT RUNNING NAKED AND DRUNK

It seems that teenagers of the British royal monarchy aren’t immune to some wild and crazy college antics. Princess Eugenie, god that’s an awful name, the 18-year-old daughter of Prince Andrew, Duke of York, and Sarah Ferguson, was apprehended for her involvement in end of term “high jinks” at the exclusive Marlborough College, west of London. Yes they are actually terming it “High Jinks.” Leave it to the Brits. A royal source told the Press Association: “It was nothing more than high jinks at the end of term in May. A group of them were reprimanded and that’s the end of the matter.” Not quite. Those of us in the media that find these things endlessly humorous tend to sit back and make sure our readers get to see the fun as well. A college staff member was woken by playful shrieks and found several young women dancing around without clothes. There was no suggestion boys were present or that drugs were involved, but a pupil said the students had been drinking. Nothing like a good college party to pitch the inhibitions. I can see it now, a new video, Princess Gone Wild. Eugenie is suppossed to be attending the Queen’s birthday celebration this weekend. You can bet what the topic of conversation’s going to be. Naked, drunk and in the tabloids, thanks for the birthday present.

Princess Eugenie

 

MAN CHANGES NAME TO “IN GOD WE TRUST.”

Hi, My name is In God, What’s yours? A school bus driver and amateur artist from the Chicago suburb of Zion has legally changed his name to “In God We Trust.” A Lake County circuit court judge approved Steve Kreuscher’s name change petition on Friday. This is one that simply should have been turned down. The man, formerly known as Steve, had his first name changed to “In God,” while his last name was changed to “We Trust.”  He says the new name symbolizes the help God gave him during tough times and says he can’t wait to begin signing his artwork with the new moniker. Wait until he tries to cash a check or sign a credit card slip. Good luck with that. 

BEN STILLER CREATES A VIRAL VIDEO…WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM HIS FRIENDS!

MARCUS VICK IN TROUBLE – I WANNA BE LIKE MIKE

What is it with this family? Does everybody just like the idea of being incarcerated? Now Michael Vick’s younger brother Marcus is in trouble…again. I guess he wants to join his brother on his prison football team since the Miami Dolphins dropped him like a hot potato. Police said a uniformed bicycle patrol officer observed Vick and a female involved in an altercation in a car around 2 a.m. The officer asked if his assistance was needed, then asked Vick for his driver’s license. Police say Vick then sped away, but was stopped minutes later. Vick failed a field sobriety test and was charged with DUI, misdemeanor eluding police, reckless driving, driving on the wrong side of the road and driving on a suspended license. The passenger, Delicia Cordon of Miami, Fla., was charged with being drunk in public. Where does any of this sound fun? Another promising football career shot in the butt, I guess there’s little else. I just don’t get these guys. Both of them had it made and they just threw it away. It doesn’t say much for their IQ.

TEACHER STRIPS FOR CLASS, ARMPIT SNIFFER CAPTURE, AIRLINE BOMB HOAX, THE GAS MEN, AND 1780 SHIPWRECK DISCOVERY

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 14, 2008 by mclassen

TEACHER STRIPS FOR HIS SCHOOL CLASS

This is a story not for the faint of heart. A teacher in Suffolk, England decided on a rather unorthadox way of getting his class of 13 and 14 year olds to stop being unruly. He decided to threaten them with a striptease. A pupil at the school said: “Kids were playing up in class and his way of dealing with it was to tell everyone to be quiet or he would take his shirt off and show his man boobs. He was quite overweight and it was a sight that nobody really wanted to see. Everyone thought he was joking and people carried on messing around, but then he really did take his shirt off. It was quite shocking but pupils thought it was hilarious.” Another added: “It was hilarious. People were goading him saying ‘I bet you haven’t got muscles’. He told us all ‘I’ll show you’ and started taking off his shirt. We all thought he was pretending but he took his shirt off and started flexing his muscles. Then he said: ‘Look, I told you.’ He put his shirt back on but he was still buttoning it up when he was teaching. Everyone was killing themselves laughing.” Well this sad tale doesn’t stop here. Oh, no. One of the students recorded it all on his cellphone and then uploaded it to YouTube. Yes, folks there’s a video for all of this. It has since been removed from YouTube probably due to the public embarrassment it’s caused. Will Theobald, 17, who posted the clip on YouTube, said: “About a quarter of the students had the clip on their phone. Everyone called him Gimli after the character in Lord of the Rings. I don’t know what he was thinking. You can’t do stuff like that and get away with it.” Apparently not in this day and age. The teacher has remained unnamed and he has not been allowed to teach at any of the British schools since. At this point, I’d be suprised if he even pokes his head out his own door. Below are some photos of the incident. This requires a bit of a strong stomach. Most of these pictures would fall under most community’s blight laws. But, here on the internet, I live for this kind of absurdity.

stripper teacher

teacher stripped

stripping teacher

stripping teacher

MAN GETS HARD TIME FOR ARMPIT SNIFFING

Never ever do anything wrong in Singapore. These people have no sense of humor for it whatsoever. A man would lurk about waiting in landings and staircases for the opportunity to sniff the armpits of women. Where does that get fun? Police were finally able to catch the bugger and he has been sentenced to 14 years and 18 lashes with a cane. Holy harsh sentences Batman. The judge believed he was mentally deranged and would repeat his offenses.  Not after that kind of punishment.

LATE AIRLINE PASSENGER CALLS IN BOMB HOAX

Never try this. It doesn’t work. A journalist from Germany was late for his plane taking off. He was covering the European football championship and called from his mobile phone to annonymously say there was a bomb on the flight from the Italian city of Verona to Vienna. Bad Idea, really bad idea. He then showed up late for the Air Dolomiti flight and said he had heard the flight was no longer preparing for take off. Open mouth insert foot. Since this hadn’t been  made public, he became the prime suspect. A check of his mobile phone confirmed police suspicions and he was arrested. He did succeed in delaying the plane though.  He wasn’t aboard when it took off.

 WHO ARE THE GAS MEN?

Like heroes out of nowhere they show up. No one knows who they are but they are handing out $100 bills at gas pumps. The unknown duo were dressed in sunglasses, baseball caps, khakis and matching green golf shirts when they gave Gayle Kilburn a $100 bill on Thursday as she filled up her car at a Citgo in Plainville, Connecticutt. Well, they aren’t wearing capes and tights…yet. They also handed her a card that read “Re-Fueling Our Community” and was signed “The Gas Men.” Mysterious and strange, and I wish they’d find me. Five or six other people have also beem paid a visit by The Gas Men. You gotta love superheroes, especially when they have cash.

REVOLUTIONARY WAR SHIPWRECK FOUND – INTACT!

For those of you that don’t live on the Great Lakes, here is a quick piece of perspective. When there is a storm on the lakes, they can produce hurricane force winds, no joke. I live on Lake Superior, I know. That’s what makes this discovery so amazing. A pair of shipwreck hunters have found a lost British schooner, HMS Ontario, from the 1780’s completely intact. The masts of this British warship are still standing tall, some of the windows are still in it, cannons are still in place. The ship was lost in a gale on Lake Ontario and two explorers, Jim Kennard and Dan Scoville, who have been hunting for it for years have finally seen the fruits of their labors. More importantly this has got to be the best preserved wreck in the Great Lakes and it solves one of the biggest mysteries of the lakes. It is an amazing find by any standards. To learn more about this, go here: http://www.shipwreckworld.com/story/shipwreck-explorers-discover-1780-british-warship-in-lake-ontario.aspx There are some amazing pictures along with the history and the complete story of the discovery. It is well worth the read.

This handout image from video released Friday, June 13, 2008 ...

Starboard side of the HMS Ontario, released June 13, 2008

MCCAIN OBAMA CONDOMS, ROYAL DEBT, UNICORN DEER, AND CLOUD MAKING MACHINE

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 12, 2008 by mclassen

GET YOUR POLITICALLY CORRECT? CONDOMS 

Feeling screwed by this election already and want some payback. Feel the need to become politically erect? The Practice Safe Policy website is selling both John McCain and Barack Obama condoms, from their sister sites, McCainCondoms.com and ObamaCondoms.com. I’m not sure this would help my sex life. The McCain site says these condoms are “old but not expired,” while the Obama site says “who says experience is necessary?” Both sites sell a package of two for $9.95, but shipping is an additional $3. PayPal is accepted, naturally.

For McCain: Give your “troops” the protection they deserve, buy McCain Condoms today! This will turn out to be the ultimate collectors item or a perfect gift for grandpa! Trophy wife approved. For the proud, liberal Republican, conservative Republican.

For Obama: These are uncertain times. The economy’s a ball-buster and the surge went flaccid… but now there’s Obama Condoms, for a change you can believe in! For the elitist penis. They won’t leave a bitter taste in your mouth. When you just want to close the deal.

Yes, show your support for your candidate. The thing that bothers me is that politicians never live up to their promises. Does that mean these might leak like a White House tipster? I say never trust a politician…or one of their condoms. You might have a unexpected tax deduction on the way.

 

 PRINCE CHARLES PAYS 350 YEAR OLD DEBT

Don’t you hate it when the relatives leave unpaid bills.  That’s what happened in this case. A bill that has been hanging out since 1651was just paid by Prince Charles.  The debt was incurred in 1651 when King Charles II, at the time recognized only as the King of Scotland, was preparing for the Battle of Worcester. He asked the Clothiers Company in Worcester to prepare uniforms for his soldiers and pledged to pay afterward, but his forces were defeated and Charles fled to mainland Europe. Needless to say the bill was left out there unpaid. So, it seems Prince Charles didn’t appreciate his descendants fiscal irresponsibility and has taken care of his namesake’s debt. He did decline to pay the interest on it saying “I wasn’t born yesterday.” The Master of the Clothiers Company of Worcester, Andrew Grant, received the money from the prince in a 1650-style gaming purse made by the Royal Shakespeare Company. The two met at the Commandery, the royal headquarters during the battle. “We are very grateful to the Prince of Wales for repaying the debt to the Worcester Clothiers Company,” Grant said. Those Brits, they always have to have a little pomp with their circumstance. The must have been getting a bad score on Freecreditreport.com.

UNICORN DEER DISCOVERED IN ITALY

This is fantasy becoming reality,” Gilberto Tozzi, director of the Center of Natural Sciences in Prato, Italy, told The Associated Press. “The unicorn has always been a mythological animal.” Well, this one is a bit far from the mythological animal, but it is interesting just the same. The 1-year-old Roe Deer, nicknamed “Unicorn,” was born in captivity in the research center’s park in the Tuscan town of Prato, near Florence, Tozzi said. P.T. Barnum would have loved this one. He would have passed it off as, rare one of a kind, never before seen by human eyes. Yep, I can hear him now. But I digress, this way to the egress. This deer was one  half of a pair of twins born in the preserve. Tozzi believes this could be the origin of the unicorn myth. I’m not buying that, but it appears he had to come up with something to say. “This shows that even in past times, there could have been animals with this anomaly,” he said by telephone. “It’s not like they dreamed it up.” Trust me, I live in the land of “more deer than we know what to do with.” They come in all shapes and sizes. One with a unicorn horn wouldn’t surprise me much. I find it interesting, but origin of myths, I don’t think I’d stretch it to quite those limits. He’s a cute little bugger though.

This undated photo provided by the Center of Natural Sciences ...

 

CLOUD MAKING MACHINE

Remember when you were a kid looking up at the sky and you were trying to see what kinds of shapes you could see in the clouds. OK, I still do that. Well, now there is a machine that actually makes predetermined shapes. This may take some of the imagination out of it, but they are intriquing just the same. A former magician, Francisco Guerra, has come up with the concept that terms his clouds “Flogos.” They are made of soap and gases, such as helium, which allow them to fly off and retain their puffy texture. In other words, they are elaborate soap bubbles. “They will fly for miles,” said Mr Guerra. “They are durable so they last a while.” Depending on the weather and the formula used, the Flogos can last from a few minutes to more than an hour. They can fly up to 30 miles and go as high as four miles but normally the little clouds level out at about 500ft. I can see where people will be reporting a lot more UFOs in the future. “It looked like the head of Mickey Mouse.” His machines can pump out a Flogo at a rate of one every 15 seconds. That’s enough to blot out the sun. The clouds can be made in 2ft or 3ft sizes but a 6ft generator is in the pipeline. Current designs are only available in white but Mr Guerra plans to add color options from next year. Wow, clouds with color. I’m not sure how I’ll be able to take that.

Cloud-making machine

Cloud-making machine

Cloud-making machine

SIGN OF THE TIMES

blog post photo

 

AIR FORCE ERRORS, GATOR GOLF WATER HAZARD, BIGFOOT REWARD, AND BIG BOOBS – WORLD RECORD

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 6, 2008 by mclassen

AIR FORCE OFFICIALS RESIGN OVER STUPID MISTAKES

Defense officials who spoke on condition of anonymity said that Defense Secretary Robert Gates asked Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Michael Moseley and Air Force Secretary Michael Wynne to step down. And for good reasons. We’re talking some real screw-ups here. In August, for instance, a B-52 bomber was mistakenly armed with six nuclear-tipped cruise missiles and flown across the country. The pilot and crew were unaware they had nuclear arms aboard. The error was considered so grave that President Bush was quickly informed, who was probably off doddering in a corner reading a Dick and Jane book. Next, four cone-shaped electrical fuses used in intercontinental ballistic missile warheads were shipped to the Taiwanese instead of the helicopter batteries they had ordered. Oops, guess that was wrong. Whatever happened to competence in the armed forces? The fuses originated at F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Cheyenne, Wyoming, but the mix-up apparently occurred after the parts were shipped to Hill Air Force Base in Utah. On top of this we get a payola scandal. The Pentagon inspector general found in April that a $50 million contract to promote the Thunderbirds aerial stunt team was tainted by improper influence and preferential treatment. No criminal conduct was found. Of course not, can’t have that kind of scandal now can we? Moseley was not singled out for blame, but the investigation laid out a trail of communications from him and other Air Force leaders that eventually influenced the 2005 contract award. Included in that were friendly e-mails between Moseley and an executive in the company that won the bid. Gee sounds pretty fishy to me. Oh well, all’s well now right? Excuse me if I’m sceptical.

 

ALLIGATOR IN THE WATER HAZARD

In Glen Burnie, Maryland, I didn’t know they had gators in MD, an animal control officer has rid a local golf course of a menace. One of the local golfer’s reported seing a two-foot long creature swimming in one of the course’s ponds. Officer Glenn Johnson got out his fishing pole and decided to see if he could snag it and reel it in. Traps had been set but they had no  luck. Johnson did. Thanks to him the Arundel Golf Park is now free of real hazards in their hazards.

 

REWARD OFFERED FOR BIGFOOT

Wanted, $1million reward for indisputable evidence of Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Abominable Snowman, any of his alias. Yes, there is now a bounty on the head of Bigfoot. In a joint effort, Field and Stream Magazine and Bushnell the binocular maker have put up the reward, offer good until December 15th, void where prohibited by law. This is not a joke, they really have made the offer. The also have stipulated that they are not responsible for any injuries incurred in this endeavor. They have to cover their bases. They will pay the million to anyone who can “provide an unaltered photograph/video, verified and substantiated by a panel of scientific experts, including a zoologist and biologist, the evidence required to prove a Sasquatch/Bigfoot/Yeti exists.” Driver’s, start your engines. Maybe a good place to start would be HERE!

WORLD’S BIGGEST BREASTS – GUINESS SAYS SO

Or maybe you’ll say so after few Guiness’ but it’s true Miss Mounds is the winner. The Guiness Book of World Records recently opened a catagory for largest breasts with implants. The winner is pictured below. Her picture before aumentation is also displayed for comaparison purposes. She suppossedly measures 36mmm. I don’t see where they get the 36 unless they mean 36 ft. Maxi Mounds is a lap dancer from Florida, can she fit on a lap like that? “I contacted Guinness World Records and asked if they had a category for implants, but they said no, so I let it go,” she said. “Then they asked me if I was interested as they were creating a category. Eventually they told me I won. I had the old-style silicone imp­lants, but then came all the scare stories, so I had them replaced with overfilled saline.” But her chest began to sag, so she had tubes put in her armpits so she could be firmed up. In 2000, she had her implants ­removed and the pockets filled with plastic string, a procedure which has been banned.  Couldn’t that be considered breast abuse? A solution was injected to make the breasts produce fluid and ‘inflate,’ but they kept on growing. Now she’s famous at strip joints everyhwere. Her name is in lights and she finally has a gimmick that places can up the cover charge. Jiggle on Maxi. Jiggle on.

Breasts

Maxi when she was Mini

Breasts

OBAMA WIN, LUXURY JAIL, 100 CARS STUCK, MOONING MISHAP, AND QUEEN SAYS GET A REAL JOB

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2008 by mclassen

OBAMA’S IN, CLINTON DOESN’T CONCEDE….YET.

It looks like Obama has enough delegates to now claim the Democratic nomination. Hillary Clinton has not conceded the nomination and rumors are that she is trying for the Vice-President slot to run with Obama. Naturally this rumor has been around for a while and it would make a powerful ticket for the Democrats. Personally I was still hoping for a bit of indecision going into the convention just because it would be nice to have something that wasn’t a foregone conclusion for a change. Truthfully, I’d like to see Clinton run as an independent and really throw a wrench into things. Think of the political chaos. It would be great. Voter anarchy running amok across the country with electoral votes splattering the wall like blood at the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. The media wouldn’t know which way to turn, the computers would fry microcircuits trying to predict it all and in the end Ralph Nader wins. Now that would be politics.

LAP OF LUXURY WHILE IN JAIL?

An inmate in a prison in Brazil was apparently living a pretty good lifestyle. Genilson Lins da Silva’s life of ease has come to an abrupt end after police confiscated a plasma TV set, gym equipment, two pistols and cash worth US$173,000 from his cell. Ok, I’m sensing something not quite right here. He also had a cell to himself. Prison officials have launched an investigation as to how he was able to achieve this. I would think they should. Ok, how does a guy manage all this while in prison? With those guns he could have left at any time. But why? Private room, state of the art TV, a pile of money, how do I get in on this? I’m surprised he didn’t have a massuese on Tuesdays. This will certainly show him the error of his ways.

100 CARS STUCK ON FLORIDA BEACH

Over the weekend, over 100 cars became stuck on the Daytona, Florida beach. Apparently people are too lazy to walk to the shoreline and take their street cars across the sand.  I live in Michigan where we have lots of sand beaches, we don’t take our cars on them. We park in lots. If we think that we can’t walk that far, I have an abreviation for you: ATV. It’s what they’re made for. Get to know them, make them your friend. Seems to me some folks just don’t think these things out very well.

MOONING INCIDENT GONE BAD

In Utrecht, Netherlands three men ran down the street mooning people. The bare bottom boys were having a great time and building up entusiasm with their prank. One of the men, backed up against a restaurant window and pushed. The glass shattered sending shards into a variety of places in his derriere in what are described as “deep wounds.” Ouch. He won’t be sitting for a while. The restaurant owner has decided not to press charges since the pranksters have agreed to pay for the broken window. He probably figures at least one of them has already been punished enough. There’s nothing like a little insult and injury.

THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND GETS GRUMPY…AGAIN.

I have to admit, I wouldn’t want to date any of the English royal family. The Queen would really hate me. First she was mad about the wedding pictures sold by her grandson’s new wife. Now she’s complaining that Prince William’s girlfriend, Kate Middleton, isn’t good enough for him. They aren’t even engaged. Apprently all you have to do is hang around to get the Queens dander up. Her reasoning is she doesn’t have a “real job.” She’s been working part-time for her family’s company and doesn’t have a career of her own. Personally I don’t see anything wrong with that. So the Queen wants her to clean her act up, and get a real job. She’s being termed “the Katie problem.” Middleton has had a job offer that might satisfy the Queen, but has been hesitant about taking it. It sounds to me like the Queen has too much time on her hands. Maybe she needs to get a real job.

 

BO DIDDLEY, KURT COBAIN’S ASHES, WASHERS STUCK ON PENIS, AND ELVIS IN ENGLAND

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 3, 2008 by mclassen

THE GREAT BO DIDDLEY PASSES AWAY 
Rock and Roll pioneer and one of a kind Bo Diddley passed away in his home in Archer, Florida at the age of 79. Virtually every musician was influenced by Diddley from the Rolling Stones to George Thoroughgood. Eric Burdon and the Animals did a song called Bo Diddley about a life changing encounter Burdon had with him in a local pub. The Bo Diddley rhythm and beat is iconic with no other like it with countless musicians copying it. All these years he played with a homemade square box guitar that wa just as recognizable as he was.  By his early teens, Diddley was playing Chicago’s Maxwell Street. “I came out of school and made something out of myself. I am known all over the globe, all over the world. There are guys who have done a lot of things that don’t have the same impact that I had,” he said. Diddley, like other artists of his generations, was paid a flat fee for his recordings and said he received no royalty payments on record sales. He also said he was never paid for many of his performances. “I am owed. I’ve never got paid,” he said. “A dude with a pencil is worse than a cat with a machine gun.” Growing up, Diddley said he had no musical idols, and he wasn’t entirely pleased that others drew on his innovations. “I don’t like to copy anybody. Everybody tries to do what I do, update it,” he said. “I don’t have any idols I copied after. They copied everything I did, upgraded it, messed it up. It seems to me that nobody can come up with their own thing, they have to put a little bit of Bo Diddley there,” he said. Because he only received a small portion of the money he made during his career, he continued to tour and record music until his stroke. Between tours, he made his home near Gainesville in north Florida. “Seventy ain’t nothing but a damn number,” he told The Associated Press in 1999. “I’m writing and creating new stuff and putting together new different things. Trying to stay out there and roll with the punches. I ain’t quit yet.” Your music will rock forever Bo.
STORY OF BO DIDDLEY – ERIC BURDON AND THE ANIMALS

VINTAGE DIDDLEY – HIS SISTER THE DUTCHESS ON RHYTHM GUITAR

ENCORE!
 

KURT COBAIN’S ASHES STOLEN

Courtney Love is said to be suicidal” after a teddy bear shaped bag containing the ashes of her late husband, grunge rock legend Kurt Cobain, was stolen from her Los Angeles home, according to reports. “I can’t believe anyone would take Kurt’s ashes from me.” Love says “I find it disgusting and right now I’m suicidal.” No surprise there. Courtney makes Keith Richards look like a temperance advocate. Love said the ashes-filled bag, along with thousands of dollars worth of jewelry and clothes, were taken from her home sometime in May. Why was there, expensive jewery in there? And clothes? You’re wearing Kurt ash covered clothes? “If I don’t get them back I don’t know what I’ll do,” she said. Knowing her, she was probably passed out on the bathroom floor while they were stealing them. After Cobain’s death in 1994, portions of his ashes were scattered at a Buddhist temple in New York and in the Wishkah River near his birth home of Aberdeen, Wash. The rest of his remains stayed with his widow, who said she “used to take them everywhere with me just so I could feel Kurt was still with me. Now it feels like I have lost him all over again.” You’re the idiot that stored jewelry in there. Right now Kurt’s ashes are probably being twisted up in a doobie somewhere. You know ashes to bong ashes.

MAN GETS WASHERS STUCK ON PENIS

I’m not sure how this happened. Actually I’m not sure I want to know how this happened, but a man in Hornsby, Australia underwent surgery to have 16 washers removed from his penis. He had first called the local firemen to come and help get them off, but when they were unsuccessful after trying for over an hour. He was transported to the local hospital. What I want to know is did these professionals maintain a professional attitude throughout or did they, as I would have, burst out in a fit of laughter at the absudity of this yo-yo’s plight. At the hospital he underwent three hours of surgery to extricate the trapped appendage. The origin of this had to be some drunken bet. I know don’t ask, don’t tell. It’s reported that he won’t undergo any lasting permanent effects from the mishap. No one knows how this happened and his name has not been released. I wouldn’t want my name released either.

ELVIS TERRORIZES SMALL TOWN IN ENGLAND

For those of you that are still out looking for Elvis, we’ve found him in England. He’s been harrassing the residents of Wilsden, West Yorkshire and they are about to slap him with an anti social behavior citation. Yes, Elvis is creating a public nuisance of himself. Elvis, has been accused of dive-bombing people and wrecking street lights when owner Edward Pikul lets him out. Dive-bombing, owner letting him out? Oh that’s right, this Elvis is a parrot. He also acts like a juvenile delinquent. ‘He is a lovely pet and would never harm anybody. If I had to imprison him in his cage, I would rather get rid of him,’ said 49-year-old Mr Pikul. ‘It’s true Elvis has a mischievous streak, he knows a few swear words and his shriek is quite loud but he’s an ­abs­olute joy to have.’ But one resident complained: “The bird is a nuisance. Just because he likes the parrot doesn’t mean he should terrorise the whole village with it. Elvis is just a mad old thing, he follows me when I go to work. He clings on to the van roof and holds on for dear life, then flies around until he feels like coming home.” I’m picturing this and I keep coming up with a Benny Hill skit. Not everyone is against Elvis. He has local fans. Pikul and his daughter Melissa, pictured below with Elvis, are receiving calls and emails supporting Elvis and his wayward lifestyle. “He is gorgeous and to see him flying around is magnificent,’ said Helen Smith, anti-social behaviour officer for Bradford Council. ‘But he has a dark side.” Stay away from the dark side Elvis.

Elvis parrot