Archive for Ezine

HITLER BEHEADED, ANOTHER BRITISH UFO, COPS DON’T NOTICE PATROL CAR GONE, OCTOPUS PORN, AND I MET THE WALRUS

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 6, 2008 by mclassen

HITLER LOSES HIS HEAD

Well this didn’t last long. Madame Tussaud’s, the famous wax museum has a museum in Berlin, Germany and they just unveiled their new masterpiece, Adolf Hitler.  The presence of the Nazi dictator’s likeness in the new museum led to criticism in German media over recent weeks, but defenders of the replica argued Hitler’s role in German history could not be ignored. The museum, which is near the German capital’s Brandenburg Gate, pledged to portray Hitler without glorifying him, as he would have looked shortly before his 1945 suicide. Well, Adolf didn’t last long. The second visitor they let through the door attacked the wax figure. Stephan Koch, one of the museum employees, said he and a colleague tried unsuccessfully to prevent the man from jumping over a table in front of the figure and damaging it, and said the assailant attacked his colleague. This dude was certainly determined. The man pushed aside the two museum employees and “ripped off the head of the Hitler figure,” police spokesman Uwe Kozelnik said on n-tv television. The wax figure’s assassin said he was just protesting the display. Well, it seems this display just isn’t going to appeal to the public. The museum had produced a likeness of the Nazi leader hunched over a desk in a dimly lit bunker. The figure, unveiled to journalists Thursday, showed Hitler, with deep lines furrowing his forehead, sitting beneath a map of Europe on the wall, monitoring the advance of allied troops from the east and west. I expect the staff will mark this one up as one of their not-so-good ideas. A picture of the wax figure before beheading is below.

In this July 3, 2008 file photo, a figure depicting former German ...

BRIT FRIGHTENED BY HOVERING UFO

I had a hard time trying to quit laughing after I read this. It seems in South Wales, England, a man was frightened by an unidentifiable object hovering in the sky near his house. So, he called 999, England’s version of 911. The recording runs as follows: Control Room: “South Wales Police, what’s your emergency?” Caller: “It’s not really. I just need to inform you that across the mountain there’s a bright stationary object.” Control room: “Right.” Caller: “If you’ve got a couple of minutes perhaps you could find out what it is? It’s been there at least half an hour and it’s still there.” Control: “It’s been there for half an hour. Right. Is it actually on the mountain or in the sky?” Caller: “It’s in the air.” Control: “I will send someone up there now to check it out.” Caller: “OK.” A few minutes later, all became clear in the following exchange between the control room and the police officer sent to the scene. Control: “Alpha Zulu 20, this object in the sky, did anyone have a look at it?” Officer: “Yes, it’s the moon. Over.” A South Wales Police spokeswoman said: “It was 100% legitimate. There was no hoax. It was a serious call from a member of the public.” Now that’s what I call a scary UFO.

KID STEALS POLICE CAR, POLICE DON’T NOTICE, TWICE

This has got to be a case of too much coffee and donuts. A 13-year-old with an interest in law enforcement stole a police cruiser and took it out to do some patrolling, according to authorities. Then he did it again. The boy apparently watched someone enter a code to get into the department, then used it to get in and take the keys to the cruiser. Now that’s a smart kid. Residents called police on Sunday to say they’d seen the boy driving a police car. The boy also took the cruiser the previous Sunday and drove it around before returning it to the station. Now, you have to wonder, what were the cops doing all this time since none of the officers noticed it was missing?  All this took place in Dillon, a small South Carolina town near the North Carolina border. The boy’s mother saw him bring the car home both times but didn’t see anything wrong with the joyrides, Police Sgt. Jason Turner said. The boy, who was charged with larceny and second-degree burglary, was not identified because of his age. He remained in Department of Juvenile Justice custody Wednesday. I guess he’s going to learn about law enforcement now. His mother, Patricia Gillespie, was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Ya, think? I’ll bet they’ll be paying attention to this kid now.

THE MAN WITH THE ANIMAL PORN DEFENCE

Ok, here’s one for the books. A man goes on trial in Tasmania, Australia for downloading child porn. He claims it was an accident and got mixed up in his animal porn by accident. He admitted in an Australian court to downloading octopus porn, as well as other images of sexual acts with ponies, tigers and snakes. Octopus porn? Rodney Scott McLagan also plead guilty to possessing child pornography but, his defence lawyer insisted that he had ‘little or no interest’ in the child porn, and only had it on his computer because it had been included in the bulk download of bestiality material. Are you buying this crap yet?  “In respect of the child exploitation material, while there’s a lot of it he only looked at 20 per cent. He searched the internet for the bestiality material but there was no active search for the child exploitation material,” his lawyer David Barclay told the Supreme Court in Hobart, Tasmania. It lines like this that make you hate lawyers. What a load of horse hockey. Barclay added that McLagan sought out the bestiality porn because of a personality disorder, which gave him such low self-esteem that he thought of himself as “some sort of beast.” Well, at least he got that part of it right. I’m just happy that America doesn’t have a monpoly on weirdos.

A LATE MESSAGE FROM JOHN LENNON

If you haven’t seen this, it’s a gem. I’m rminded of the kid in the movie Almost Famous. This was from a 14-year-old kid named Jerry Levitan who snuck into John Lennon’s room and got an interview with John. The profound thing about this video is that the answers Lennon gives still ring true and deep today. I think Lennon would have loved this video. It’s called I Met The Walrus.

NELSON MANDELA NOT TERRORIST, CAT NAPPED FOR DOG, ROCK AND ROLL FUNERALS, BEERS TO GO, AND BASKETBALL TO THE HEAD

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 3, 2008 by mclassen

 NELSON MANDELA TERRORIST NO MORE

 It seems the American Government has decided to give Nelson Mandela a birthday present. They’re taking him off the terrorist watch list. What idiot put him on there in the first place? Somebody was certainly scraping the bottom of the barrel for a government employee with that one. The former South African President is to be removed from a U.S. terrorism watch list under a bill President Bush signed Tuesday. Finally did something intelligent eh? “He had no place on our government’s terror watch list, and I’m pleased to see this bill finally become law,” said Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts. Ya think? Recognized as a symbol of freedom and equality, Mandela will turn 90 on July 18. Mandela shared the Nobel Peace Prize in 1993 with F. W. de Klerk, the South African president and National Party leader who worked with Mandela to end apartheid. Mandela replaced him as president in 1994 and served until 1999. Oh yea, that sounds like terrorism to me. “What it will do is make sure that there aren’t any extra hoops for either a distinguished individual, like former President Mandela, or other members of the African National Congress to get a U.S. visa,” State Department spokesman Tom Casey said.

 

Nelson Mandela on June 24, 2008, in London

CAT HELD FOR RANSOM FOR DOG 

There are reasons we’re suppossed to keep track of our pets. Take this case for instance. Linda Urioste’s black Labrador was recently picked up by animal control officers and later adopted by Jutta Hollar and her husband. That lab must have been missing for a long time. Hollar learned a couple of weeks later that Urioste had been to the shelter looking for the dog. Hollar says she had considered returning the animal until she met Urioste, who yelled and threatened to sue. That’s when Urioste came up with a plan. Catnapping! A few days later, the couple realized their cat was missing. Police say Urioste left a phone message with the Hollars saying that she had their cat and was willing to trade it for the dog. I can picture it now. Come alone, meet me on the bridge and we’ll make the swap. Police charged Urioste on Saturday with theft and extortion. Oops I guess that backfired. Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. She was released from jail on a $6,000 bond.

NEW FUNERAL TRADITION IN AUSTRALIA

I like this idea. I’m going to make my requests now so that when I’m gone. let the party begin. Hymns are being replaced at funerals in one Australian city by popular rock classics like Led Zeppelin’s ‘Stairway to Heaven’ and AC/DC’s ‘Highway to Hell,’ a cemetery manager said Wednesday. Being an old rocker from way back, this idea works for me. At Centennial Park, the largest cemetery and crematorium in the southern city of Adelaide, only two hymns still rank among its top 10 most popular funeral songs: ‘Amazing Grace’ and ‘Abide With Me.’ The dude abides. The Led Zeppelin and AC/DC rock anthems rank outside the top 10, but have gained ground in recent years as more Australians give up traditional Christian hymns.  “Some of the more unusual songs we hear actually work very well within the service because they represent the person’s character,” Centennial Park chief executive Bryan Elliott said. Among other less conventional choices were ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life’ by the Monty Python comedy team, ‘Ding Dong the Witch is Dead,’ ‘Hit the Road Jack,’ ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ and ‘I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead.’ This is such a better idea than all that wimpering and whining that goes on. Rock on into the afterlife. I’m getting my playlist together.

SOME BEER TO GO 

Now, I have to admit, I’ve needed a beer rather anxiously, but this is a bit over the top. Lynne Rice, 74-years-old, of Norwalk drove her 1988 Cadillac into Joe’s Food Mart and Video on Sunday evening, Los Angeles County sheriff’s Lt. Jenny Ha said. The car plowed about halfway through the store but nobody was injured. Rice got out of the car, walked over to the cooler and pulled out a six-pack of Budweiser beer, said the store owner, who gave only his last name, Awada, to the Long Beach Press-Telegram. “I don’t know how she managed to walk,” Awada said, adding a cashier declined the sale and instead called police. Rice was taken to a hospital for examination because she had a pre-existing medical condition, Ha said. She was also arrested for investigation of misdemeanor driving under the influence and released on $15,000 bail, authorities said. Awada said the crash destroyed two 6-foot-wide glass panels. Damage was put at about $8,000.

BASKETBALL TO THE HEAD!

HOME DEMOLITION MISTAKE, SKINNY DIPPING, DRUNK SWEDE ROWS HOME, AND PROPELLERMAN

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 2, 2008 by mclassen

WOMAN’S HOME DEMOLISHED BY MISTAKE

 How would you like to come home to find your home had just been leveled. All of your belongings, everything you owned, now a pile of rubble waiting for the Front-End Loader. That’s what happened to Annie Wilson of Dallas, Texas and she’s been trying to get repaid for it ever since. Jackson State University bought the lot next to hers for potential expansion. Troy Stovall, Vice President of the institution says somebody moved signs with the address and a notice that it belonged to the school onto Wilson’s lot, so the contractor worked at the wrong site. That sounds awfully fishy to me. The 713-square-foot house had been appraised for just over $10,000. That sounds way low for any house these days. The school offered Wilson $8,000 in May which wasn’t even market value. I think they just wanted her out of there. She says someone from the state finance department offered $20,000 on Thursday. Wilson says she should get at least $30,000, because of all the belongings destroyed. Shouldn’t there be insurance involved here? She says those include antique furniture and handmade quilts. If it was an error like the Univeersity claims, then their insurance should be paying this woman. There’s no doubt she should be getting something here.

COUPLE SKINNY DIPPING IN RESERVOIR CONTAMINATES WATER

Now, I don’t know if this is just alarmism or what. I just don’t see how this equates. Ryan Langsdorf, 28, and Ashley Moyer, 23, were found in one of two sections of the Mount Tabor Reservoir at about 3 a.m. Saturday during a spell of unusually hot weather. They were cited for trespassing. The two were swimming in a section of the reservoir that was not being used. Had that section been in use, water bureau officials say they would have had to dump millions of gallons of water from that pool and possibly shut off the reservoir. This is what I don’t get. Why? It’s only two people swimming and they would shut it off, drain it and waste all that water? It’s going to be treated before it hits the homes anyway. This just seems a little over the top to me. They get more comtamination from rain fallout. Earlier this year, millions of gallons of water were dumped when someone put latex paint, a construction cone and hundreds of flyers into the water. Now that I can understand. These are toxic chemicals. Not two people skinny dipping.

 DRUNK SWEDE ROWS HOME

I’m always impressed how people think they can do things that they normally can’t when they’re drunk. Check this out. A drunken 78-year-old Swede stole a dinghy after a night out in the Danish town of Helsingor and tried to row back to Sweden, Danish police said on Monday. When the man discovered he lacked the necessary funds to pay for the ferry from Helsingor to Helsingborg in Sweden on Saturday, he decided to row the five km (three miles) across the strait of Oresund that separates the two. He must have thought he still had a little of that olde viking blood in him. He quickly grew tired and, trusting fortune and the currents along with possibly a couple of norse gods to see him safely home, took a snooze at the bottom of the boat. That’s where Danish police later found him out at sea, still asleep. The strait is one of the busiest shipping lanes in the world. Maybe a couple of those gods were watching over him after all. Police said the owner of the dinghy had decided not to press charges. He probably figures the hangover punished him enough.

THE SUPERHERO OF FEMALE’S DESIRES

There is a new super hero out there and he is called Propellerman. you aren’t going to believe this so I leave it up to the video to speak for itself. Afterwards, follow the links, it gets even weirder.

http://www.mega-bang.com

http://www.propellerman.tv/

 

GEORGE BUSH HONORED, NORTH POLE DRUNK ON LAWNMOWER, OBAMA MONKEY GOD ENDORSEMENT, FAKE COP, AND GOODWILL TREASURE

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 26, 2008 by mclassen

 PRESIDENT BUSH HONORED

There have been many ways and ideas to honor past Presidents when there terms are over. A reward of sorts for what we think of their service to the nation. If a San Francisco group has its way, there could be the George W. Bush Sewage Plant, according to The New York Times. A group called the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco has been collecting signatures to rename the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant after Bush upon his exit from office next year. This must be a reflection of Bush’s staunch environmental stands. The plan, conceived in a bar, not much of a surprise there, would place a vote on the November ballot to offer “an appropriate honor for a truly unique president,” the group told the Times. Supporters said that they have enough signatures to qualify the measure. It probably only took about an hour. Surely an idea of this quality can’t fail. Whether it is successful or not, the group wants supporters to participate in a “synchronized flush” when the new president is inaugurated on Jan. 20 to send a flood of water toward the plant. Wash away the old, bring in the new.

MAN ARRESTED AT NORTH POLE FOR DRIVING LAWNMOWER DRUNK

I’m not sure how this happens since I didn’t know they had lawns that far north, but in North Pole, Alaska, Wyatt Lewis has been arrested for driving a lawnmower drunk. Alaskan State Troopers received a call early on Sunday complaining of an intoxicated man driving a mower. When they tried to stop him, he led them on a low-speed chase. The chase lasted about 61 metres and reached speeds of up to 5 mph before a trooper got out of a cruiser and told the man to stop. I’m betting that was a tough arrest. They said Wyatt Lewis’s blood-alcohol content was 0.18 per cent, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08 per cent. There’s nothing like drinking and lawnmowing. Is there really grass up there? I thought it was all tundra or something…perpetual ice and snow. Why does someone even own a lawnmower? Driving a lawnmower while drunk qualifies for a driving under the influence charge in the US. Lewis was also charged with failure to stop at the direction of a peace officer. He allegedly led them on a pursuit that covered several lawns. Maybe he was trying to be nice and give his neighbors’ lawns a trim too. Apparently, trying to outrun a cop on a lawnmower is illegal too. Don’t Drink and mow.

 OBAMA PICKS UP DIETY ENDORSEMENT

Politicians like to get endorsements from influential figures, but the gods themselves? A dozen priests have been chanting around a sacred fire in New Dehli as a group of Indians offered prayers to the Hindu monkey god Hanuman to grant victory to Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama. Isn’t this the same God we reported on a couple of weeks ago that the made the head of a college? Apparently he’s getting around. Several dozen people attended the prayers held at a Hanuman temple saying they believed an Obama victory would bring positive change around the world. This takes getting religion on your side to a whole new level. Local businessman Brij Mohan Bhama, who organised the event, said a victory would be good for India and the rest of world “because he stands for change” and would help stem growing “price rises, poverty and terrorism.” “We have heard that he carries a small monkey charm in his pocket. So he is a devotee of Hanuman. That’s why we want to present him with this idol,” he said. Well Barack, now that you’ve got the Monkey God in your corner, what’s next, walking on bananas? 

COP TURNS OUT TO BE PRETENDER

In the town of Gerald, Missouri a police officer was hired that really wasn’t a cop. Bill Jakob, had a badge and a gun, and he told officials he had previously worked as an anti-drug agent in Illinois. He even drove a fully equipped Ford Crown Victoria, which he said was for undercover work. Guess what? He was lying. The 36-year-old man was an unemployed truck driver with a criminal record and had recently filed for bankruptcy. Oops. Big Oops. So big that now the Gerald police force is in deep doo doo. Now this village is confronting allegations that Jakob and other officers mistreated and robbed many of the people they arrested. At least 17 people have sued, and Jakob is in jail awaiting charges. At least he’s off the street now. Doesn’t this mean that everyone he arrested and were convicted had a mistrial.Complaints about Jakob’s rough treatment of suspects led a reporter from the Gasconade County Republican newspaper to ask the sheriff about the new officer. That’s when they discovered he was an imposter. Gerald Mayor Otis Schulte defended Jakob’s hiring, saying: “He had credentials. He had a badge. He had a phone number to call for verification. I don’t know what else we could have done.” Don’t they do background checks?  Maybe a little peek into their own database. You’d think that criminal record might have popped up. It would have saved them lots of grief.

PAINTING LEFT A GOODWILL STORE SELLS FOR BIG MONEY

Somtimes it pays to look through those thrift stores. You never know what might turn up. The Parisian street scene, what was thought to be a piece of junk art, left at a store in Maryland last March along with daily donations of pots, pans, old clock radios and other items, turned out to be a work by Edouard-Leon Cortes, probably from the early 20th century. In other words, a serious collector’s item, a museum piece. The painting, called “Marche aux fleurs” or “Flower Market,” was sold for $40,600 at a Sotheby’s auction a few weeks ago. I guess they missed that one on the Antiques Roadshow. “It could have very easily ended up put in a pile, marked for $20,” says Ursula Villar, marketing and development director for Goodwill Industries of the Chesapeake Inc. Store manager Terri Tonelli said employees asked her to look at the donated painting because they suspected it was valuable. She found the artist’s name on Google and discovered that Cortes was a notable French Impressionist whose work had sold at auction for prices near $60,000. You gotta love google. If the owner of the painting wants the money, too bad. You blew it.  Goodwill says it doesn’t keep track of donors. Donations, meanwhile, are gifts that are considered legal and final transactions. Look at the bright side, it went to a good cause. It pays to pay attention to what you’re throwing away.

Marche aux fleurs by Edouard-Leon Cortes

BILL CLINTON MAY JOIN OBAMA, KIDS PROTEST GAS, MUNICH TRAGEDY, GOD BUSTED, AND SHAQ RAPS KOBE VIDEO

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2008 by mclassen

BILL CLINTON MAY BE JOINING BARACKAPALOOZA

Well, the Democratic Party may actually be beginning to find itself on the same page. In an announcement today, Bill Clinton’s people communicated to Obama’s people that he might be willing to help where he can to get Obama elected.  Obama and Hillary Clinton are to appear thi weekend in New Hampshire for the beginning of a series of appearances which will be akin to the Barack and Hillary roadshow. Actually this may be a glimpse into the future if Obama is smart enough to choose Hillary Rodham Clinton as his running mate. But then again, I don’t think smart is how  would term anything about all of the campaigns so far. Though the Democrats seem to have the upper hand, it’s stil a long way to November. It is not certain when the former president will join the tour, but hopefully he will bring his saxaphone a long for some light entertainment. It could become a YouTube hit.  Obama spokesman Bill Burton said the 42nd president came up in a phone call between Obama and Hillary Clinton on Sunday. They talked about how Obama should connect with Bill Clinton in the future, Burton said. Bill Clinton extended his support to Obama for the first time Tuesday in a one-sentence statement from spokesman Matt McKenna. “President Clinton is obviously committed to doing whatever he can and is asked to do to ensure Senator Obama is the next president of the United States,” McKenna said.It’s not clear what Obama might ask him to do. The campaign wasn’t specific when asked. “A unified Democratic Party is going to be a powerful force for change this year and we’re confident President Clinton will play a big role in that,” was all Burton would say. Of course not everything is all rosie and happy. Obama’s wife has some pretty strong feelings about the former president. Michelle said of the former president in an interview with The New Yorker magazine, “I want to rip his eyes out!” before adding, “Kidding!” That’s rather strong for a joke. As you can see this team-up for Barackapalooza should be about as entertaining as putting Courtney Love and Amy Winehouse in the same room and telling them there’s no booze. It just doesn’t work. The in-fighting between these four will be hard to forget and I really don’t believe that it’s water under the bridge. In public all smiles, backstage Fleetwood Mac. We’ll see how long this lasts.

Bill Clinton and Barack Obama together in Alabama in March 2007

KIDS PROTEST GAS PRICES, SET EXAMPLE FOR ADULTS

Everybody is complaining, but nobody is doing anything about it. Gas Prices are too high. So are you just going to take it lying down? Sadie and Pyper Vance from Salt Lake City, Utah have had just about enough of high gas prices. The sisters are still years away from being old enough to drive, but that doesn’t mean the $4 per gallon price tag isn’t hitting them as hard as anyone else. Cable TV was one of the family’s budget-cutting casualties, leaving Sadie, 9, and her 7-year-old sister without their favorite cartoons and shows. Ouch, no cable. Well they didn’t take it lying down like everyone else has. No, they decided to protest. “Gas prices are too high,” Sadie said. “I just decided to come and protest so they’d go down.” That’s the American way. The girls marched through downtown Monday chanting and carrying signs made from old campaign signs. “All of my mom’s monny goes to the gas tank!” Pyper’s sign read. Sadie carried a sign asking drivers to honk to lower gas prices — adding that her mom had to cut “cabel.” They received some shows of support, but no one actually joined in which I think is a no brainer. “I think it’s great,” said Hamid Tayeb, who was walking past on his lunch break. “It’s unfortunate that kids are doing it before we do.” Yea, I do too. Where’s your sign? Where’s your protest? We could all learn a thing or two from these kids.

Pyper, 7, and Sadie Vance, 9, hold signs in downtown Salt Lake ...

HORRIBLE TRAGEDY IN MUNICH

I am officially in mourning. I will be wearing black for the next week. A terrible tragedy occurred in Munich, Germany, a load of beer crashed on the highway creating a small beer lake. I’ve lowered my flag to half-mast. I mean we’re talking 200 crates! German beer, this isn’t Bud Light here. Munich police say the truck was transporting the beer from the Bavarian capital to a neighboring town Monday evening when siding on the truck’s trailers broke. I think the driver should be prosecuted for alcohol abuse. He didn’t take proper precautions to protect this precious shipment. The brewery suffered losses of some 10,000 Euro in the beer tragedy. Bottles crashed onto the highway flooding it with foamy wheat beer and disrupting traffic for 90 minutes. My hands are shaking, I can’t write about it any more. There may even be tears.

GOD BUSTED SELLING DRUGS NEAR CHURCH

It’s a sad day, God has been busted selling cocaine near a church in Tampa, Florida. It appears he may be spending quite a stint in jail. God Lucky Howard was taken into custody Saturday after police said he sold cocaine to undercover detectives within 1,000 feet of a church. God’s luck ran out. He’ll be the one praying now. Police also reported finding another 22 grams of cocaine and a scale at his home. Praying hard. Howard was charged with several counts of possession and distribution within 1,000 feet of a school, public housing and the church. God Not-so- Lucky Howard is being held on a bond of $86,500. Get your friends to pass the collection plate. In case you were wondering, a picture of God is below.

 

blog post photo

 

SHAQUILLE O’NEAL TEARS KOBE BRYANT UP IN A NIGHTCLUB RAP

I don’t know which one is worse Shaq or Kobe. Their arrogance is incredible. This video shot over the weekend has Shaq rapping and asking Kobe how his ass tastes. Great. This is just what we need from our star athletes. It appears from the video that Kobe gave Shaq a hard time in LA and was intrumental in his leaving. Like we didn’t know that. Well Shaq has taken glee in Kobe and the Lakers’ self destruction and lets the world know in the rap below. “I was freestyling. That’s all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever,” O’Neal told ESPN.com Monday. A call to the Suns on Tuesday seeking comment from O’Neal was referred to his public relations firm, which didn’t immediately respond.

HILLARY CLINTON GRADUATION, DRUNK WHEELCHAIR, MISSING FOR 42 YEARS, HULK KIDNAPPED, AND GEORGE CARLIN

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2008 by mclassen

 HILLARY CLINTON’S PROMISE

Hillary Clinton made a guest appearance this weekend at a high school graduation. It appears she is a woman of her word. Clinton said she had known Aleatha “and her wonderful mother, Patricia,” since the girl was 2 and had promised her when she graduated from eighth grade that she would attend her high school graduation. Well, unlike many politicians, she kept her promise and her word. “Four years later, here I am with all of you,” Clinton said. The girl, Aleatha Williams, a campaign volunteer and the daughter of a supporter, introduced the senator to fellow graduates from Pelham Preparatory Academy in the Bronx as “my aunt.” Auntie Hillary, sort of has a ring to it. “No one five years ago, no one four years ago, when I attended Aleatha’s graduation lunch, could have predicted that an African-American and a woman would have been competing for the presidency of the United States in 2008,” Clinton said. Schools Chancellor Joel Klein, who attended the school’s commencement ceremony at nearby Fordham University, said students should always remember that an American hero spoke at their graduation. “She changed America’s view of women,” Klein said. “Someday soon, very soon in America, we will have a woman as president. And you know what that woman will say? ‘I would not be here had it not been for Hillary Rodham Clinton.”‘

Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y.

MAN IS ARRESTED FOR DRUNK WHEELCHAIR DRIVING

 I didn’t know you could get busted for driving a wheel chair drunk, but apparently they fall under the motorized vehicle laws. In Australia a handicapper had been buzzing down the street drunk. He apparently passed out in the turn lane when police came along. Since it wasn’t a handicapped parking spot, he was taken downtown and charged. Police in the tropical northern Queensland city of Cairns said the man had a blood alcohol reading of 0.31, and was so drunk he was asleep at the controls of his motorized wheelchair in a turning lane of a major highway. “It beggars belief,” Police Inspector Bob Walters told the Cairns Post newspaper, adding wheelchairs, bicycles, horses and skateboards were all considered to be vehicles under the local road laws. “It’s unlawful, it is unacceptable and people should realize it could lead to a fatality,” he said. Other motorists on the four-lane highway had to swerve to avoid the wheelchair, police said. Well, next time, stay on the sidewalk.

WOMAN FOUND AFTER 42 YEARS WATCHING TV

You know how neighbors say, “They were such quiet people.” Well it’s really true in this case. Hedviga Golik, who was born in 1924, had apparently made herself a cup of tea before sitting in her favourite armchair in front of her black and white television. That was in 1966 and she was 42. The neighbors reported her missing then and thought she had moved away to live with relatives. She was discovered by police in the Croatian capital of Zagreb, long-dead and sitting in her armchair in front of her black-and-white television 42 years later! You’d think sombody would have at least noticed an odor. A police spokesman said: “So far, we have no idea how it is possible that someone officially reported missing so long ago was not found before in the same apartment she used to live in. When officers went there, they said it was like stepping into a place frozen in time. The cup she had been drinking tea from was still on a table next to the chair she had been sitting in and the house was full of things no one had seen for decades. Nothing had been disturbed for decades, even though there were more than a few cobwebs in there.” No one said if the TV was still on. Weren’t there bills piling up or something? A neighbor, fittingly, remembered Golik as “a quiet woman who kept herself to herself.” Yea, quiet, too quiet.

HELP! HELP! CALL IRONMAN, THE INCREDIBLE HULK IS MISSING

The Hulk has been kidnapped! Call Ironman, Spiderman, the Punisher, locate the Hulk. Police in Lowell, Massachusetts, say a promotional statue for the movie The Incredible Hulk disappeared from its spot in front of a local theater this week. Police Capt. James McPadden says the statue is probably in some kid’s bedroom. There’s brilliant detective work. It’ll probably be on Ebay soon. But he thinks more than one person was involved and that a car or pickup truck was needed to whisk it away. The statue is missing its feet because it was bolted to a platform and whoever took it snapped it off at the ankles. Oh, no, they broke the Hulk. Hmmm, Hulk smashed.

The Incredible Hulk

 

GEORGE CARLIN PASSES AWAY  

The world has lost another great soul. George Carlin passed away at age 71. Of course he is one of my personal favorite comedians and I remember him all the way back when he first appeared doing his Hippy Dippy Weatherman routine in the 60’s on TV. Below I’ve posted some of his best routines to remember the moments I know he would want us to remember at his funniest. George’s perspectives on life and the world around us gave us a different way to look at things. Thanks for the laughs George.

GEORGE IN THE BEGINNING 

GEORGE ON JOHNNY CARSON WITH FLIP WILSON

SEVEN WORDS

GEORGE ON DEATH

CAPTAIN CALAMITY INDEPENDENCE, MY INTERVIEW, COPS CRAZY RIDE, SOCCER PLAYER BITES REFEREE, AND DWARF SOCCER TEAM

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 22, 2008 by mclassen

STUART HILL DECLARES SHETLAND ISLAND INDEPENDENCE

The Shetland Islands off the coast of Scotland are part of the United Kingdom. Or are they. Stuart Hill doesn’t believe they are and is moving to set up his 2.5 acre Forvik Island, he’s the only resident, as an independent dependency. I know this sounds crazy but, it may just be crazy like a fox. Follow me here for a minute.  Captain Calamity, as he’s also known, because he shipwrecked on the island and never left, has been doing some research. Hill’s claim dates back to a 15th century arrangement between the Norwegian King Christian and King James III of Scotland when the Shetland Islands were effectively pawned to King James in lieu of a marriage dowry. According to Hill’s studies of the history of the island, in 1669 King Charles II re-confirmed Shetland’s status at the time of the pawning, meaning the islands remained directly answerable to the crown — represented today by the Queen. “The monarchs and governments of Scotland, and Great Britain and the United Kingdom have for many years assumed powers over these islands of Shetland to which they were not entitled,” he wrote. “By declaring Forvik a crown dependency I am simply re-establishing the correct legal relationship between this part of Shetland and the crown.” Now, here’s the crazy like a fox part of the deal. You see, there’s oil in them there waters. North sea oil and it’s in the Shetland’s boundary waters. If Hill can get the rest of the Shetland’s to join with him and they succeed, all of those oil revenues would go into the independent coffers of the islands and not Britain! Mr Hill said Shetland would reap all the benefits from North Sea oil if the 22,000 strong island community follow his example. “If the oil revenues would go straight into a Shetland bank, the isles would be in a totally different position. Once we have established the ownership of the seabed around Shetland, we can go to the oil companies and tell them where to bring the oil ashore. It is our oil.The worst thing that could happen is that people just ignore me. But I think I am sufficiently abrasive from this position for people to take note and to realise that the advantages of what I am doing could be very attractive to Shetland as a whole. Soon after I arrived in Shetland I started researching the isles’ constitutional position. It is the kind of job Shetlanders simply are not interested in, but I am hopeful they will be interested when they see the advantages that it can bring.” He says on his website that he plans to create Forvik’s own currency, the “gulde” print his own stamps and raise his own flag. “There will be no income tax, VAT (value added tax), council tax, corporation tax, or any of the other taxes instituted by the British government,” Hill wrote. Crazy Idea? I’m not so sure. You say you want a revolution? You may just have one. http://www.forvik.com 

A tiny isle off the coast of the Shetland Islands -- Britain's ...

 

TOOTING MY OWN HORN

I was tagged for an interview request as a blogger. I’ve been interviewed before as a writer but this is the first time for blogging. I was sent a comment through this blog requesting the interview from the Pakistani Spectator who was doing a series on bloggers and blogging. They sent me a list of questions to which they printed the answers unedited! Being a writer I’m more used to being edited than not and I’m always a bit surprised when things appear untouched. The interview can be found here: http://www.pakspectator.com/interview-with-blogger-mclassen/ for those that might be interested. There are also several other interviews with bloggers here as well, each with some interesting perspectives on blogging. Check it out and find out a little more about who’s behind the blogs.

 DRUNK DRIVER TAKES COP FOR RIDE OF HIS LIFE

This sounds like something you would see in a bad action movie. Picture this, a drunk Russian driver is careening down the street. He hits a traffic cop clipping him on the arm. Not a good idea. The cop somehow grabs onto the car and clings onto the car roof. They continue on down the street like this. Now, this must have been one together cop because he managed to get out his gun, fire off eight shots and still hang onto the car. Now that’s talent baby. The driver stopped finally after the cop fired off the rounds. They had driven a little over a half-mile like this. Of course the driver has been arrested. The cop sustained only minor injuries to his arm.

SOCCER PLAYER BITES REFEREE

It appears that some people take their game play way too seriously. Rannord A. Jones who plays for a Newark, Delaware soccer team  was red flagged by a referee. The two got into a name calling altercation which resulted in Jones attacking the Ref. He bit him on the chin causing considerable injury. Shades of Mike Tyson. There’s nothing like a little good sportsmanship. Police charged Jones with several offenses, including assault and terroristic threatening. Said Police Cpl. Trinidad Navarro, “The player was so enraged that he just savagely attacked the official, biting him almost in an animal manner about the chin.” I hope Jones has had his rabies shots. Hopefully we won’t be seeing him playing in any more games.

GIANTS OF THE NORTH, BRAZILIAN DWARF SOCCER TEAM