BRETT FAVRE COMEBACK, POLICE CAR FULL OF COCAINE, BUSTED SUBWAY STRIPPER, DRINKING AND STEALING, AND NEW ORLEANS ROLLER BULL

BRETT FAVRE COMEBACK? 

I couldn’t let this go by without making comment. I’m a lifelong Packer fan, but I’m also a Packer fan, then from time to time, I’m a Packer fan, and did I mention, I’m a Packer fan. Like everyone, I was surprised and a bit saddened when the day came that Brett decided to hang up his cleats. I went through the mourning and then got used to the idea that there would be a young and quite promising replacement waiting in the wings in the form of Aaron Rodgers. OK, now comes the announcement that Favre, arguably the greatest quarterback to grace the field wants to return and not retire. This puts all of us fans on an emotional roller coaster. I’d love to see Favre play some more, but this certainly isn’t fair to the kid that has been patiently waiting for his opportunity to shine. Aaron Rodgers proved last year when he stepped in for Favre in Dallas that he has excellent potential. He was told that it is his team now and the Packer organization is standing by that decision. One major problem. The Green Bay Packers are owned by the fans. Through the chaos of speculation and rumors over the weekend one thing remains clear, the decision as to whether Favre comes back to Green Bay may not be up to current management. Amidst protests at Lambeau Field, a call for an emergency stockholders meeting is being called. The stockholders being several thousand rabid Green Bay fans, no small number of which wouldn’t mind seeing Favre play out the remaining two years of his contract. Certainly his performance last year proved he’s still got Superbowl potential and is a long way from being washed up. Hence the big dilemma. Do you take back the known commodity or move forward into the unknown with possibly another Superbowl trophy hanging as the result? The Packer’s management has a no win situation on their hands, if they proceed with out Favre and have a crap season, Ted Thompson the General Manager will take a lot of heat. If Favre comes back and happens to crash and burn, same result. But what if that second Superbowl ring is in the cards for Favre and he goes somewhere else and gets it. Ted Thompson would have to move to Siberia. Packer fans would riot. Maybe, the only solution IS to let the fans choose. That way they only have themselves to blame and maybe that’s for the best all the way around.

POLICE DRUG CAR FULL OF DRUGS

 Apparently police didn’t search a car well enough before they decided to use it for themselves. In Dallas, Texas, a car that had been siezed from drug dealers was put into operation for their own undercover narcotics officers. While a police officer was cleaning the 2004 Black Infinity, he discovered some hidden compartments…with 50 pounds of Cocaine. We’re talking a serious stash here. The drug cache hadn’t been previously discovered and the police had been driving around with it for two months without their knowledge. It appears their initial search of the car wasn’t all that thorough. Now they’re trying to figure out who originally owned the car. Seems if they impounded it on a drug siezure, they might have some kind of record. I’m thinking they weren’t too on top of things on this one.

SUBWAY STRIPPER BUSTED

In an effort to protest Chile’s penchant for prudishness, a local stripper took her act onto the neighborhood subway system. Apparently the performance wasn’t appreciated by the authroities who finally caught her during one of her impromptu performances. Personally I’m always up for a little entertainment during a long boring ride. Heck I would have been riding around just hoping to catch her act. Monserrat Morilles, 26, surprised subway riders all week stripping to skimpy underwear, but she refused tips. Who ever heard of a stripper that refused tips. She apparently used the subway poles for her act. She had been elusive all week, getting on quickly and then getting off just as fast so that she would avoid being busted. Monserrat’s luck ran out. “This is just a beginning. We are starting an idea here that will grow and be developed further,” she told Reuters as police and subway guards surrounded her. I never knew stripping could be political activism. We should use that concept in this country. Chilean media dubbed her “La Diosa del Metro” or Subway Goddess. She called her performances “happy minutes.” Yes I can see having “Happy Minutes.” More “Happy Minutes.” “Chile is still a pretty timid country,” said her manager Gustavo Pradenas. “People aren’t very extroverted and we want to take aim at that and make Chile a happier country.” Yes, happy, happy, happy, let’s all be happy.

 DON’T DRINK AND STEAL

Probably one of the worst things you can do before committing a crime is get loaded. Spending a few hours building up some false courage before a quick B&E is just bad planning. John Michale Baker of Winnsboro, Texas did just that and everything one going alright, at first. The lady of the house saw him going inside and called her husband, who hurried home to deal with the thief. In the meantime of course the police were notified. Baker was just making his getaway when he arrived. The husband recognized Baker and wandered over to chat with him and Baker apparently a friendly drunk obliged talking with the husband right up until when the police arrived. Moral: If you’re gonna steal, steal don’t talk.

RUNNING WITH BULL, NEW ORLEANS?

Now this is a sport I can get behind…or in front of as the case may be. As usual New Orleans has come up with a twist on an old custom and this one has less patients in the hospital. Picture it. Hundreds of men, women and children, most in white with red scarves around their waists and red bandannas around their necks, gathered outside a French Quarter bar, I can see where the bar is real important in this one, Saturday morning to be chased down Bourbon Street by members of New Orleans’ roller derby league. Got that, Roller Babes. “Roller skates and a stampede through the Quarter — what could possibly go wrong?” said accountant Jason Medonia. Oh I don’t know, those roller girls can be pretty rough when they want to. 33 roller girls in horned helmets from teams with names like Confederacy of Punches and Crescent Wenches, took off to pursue the runners and strike them resoundly with plastic baseball bats. Oh, baby hit me hurt me. And guess what, Elvis too. Behind them putted Elvis impersonators on motorized scooters. Now what can be more complete than that. OK, maybe a jazz band, but hey, they’re not that hard to find. Sounds like a cool hot time in the Louisiana summer, bull, booze, and babes, everything we’ve come to expect from New Orleans.  

TEACHER STRIPS FOR CLASS, ARMPIT SNIFFER CAPTURE, AIRLINE BOMB HOAX, THE GAS MEN, AND 1780 SHIPWRECK DISCOVERY

TEACHER STRIPS FOR HIS SCHOOL CLASS

This is a story not for the faint of heart. A teacher in Suffolk, England decided on a rather unorthadox way of getting his class of 13 and 14 year olds to stop being unruly. He decided to threaten them with a striptease. A pupil at the school said: “Kids were playing up in class and his way of dealing with it was to tell everyone to be quiet or he would take his shirt off and show his man boobs. He was quite overweight and it was a sight that nobody really wanted to see. Everyone thought he was joking and people carried on messing around, but then he really did take his shirt off. It was quite shocking but pupils thought it was hilarious.” Another added: “It was hilarious. People were goading him saying ‘I bet you haven’t got muscles’. He told us all ‘I’ll show you’ and started taking off his shirt. We all thought he was pretending but he took his shirt off and started flexing his muscles. Then he said: ‘Look, I told you.’ He put his shirt back on but he was still buttoning it up when he was teaching. Everyone was killing themselves laughing.” Well this sad tale doesn’t stop here. Oh, no. One of the students recorded it all on his cellphone and then uploaded it to YouTube. Yes, folks there’s a video for all of this. It has since been removed from YouTube probably due to the public embarrassment it’s caused. Will Theobald, 17, who posted the clip on YouTube, said: “About a quarter of the students had the clip on their phone. Everyone called him Gimli after the character in Lord of the Rings. I don’t know what he was thinking. You can’t do stuff like that and get away with it.” Apparently not in this day and age. The teacher has remained unnamed and he has not been allowed to teach at any of the British schools since. At this point, I’d be suprised if he even pokes his head out his own door. Below are some photos of the incident. This requires a bit of a strong stomach. Most of these pictures would fall under most community’s blight laws. But, here on the internet, I live for this kind of absurdity.

MAN GETS HARD TIME FOR ARMPIT SNIFFING

Never ever do anything wrong in Singapore. These people have no sense of humor for it whatsoever. A man would lurk about waiting in landings and staircases for the opportunity to sniff the armpits of women. Where does that get fun? Police were finally able to catch the bugger and he has been sentenced to 14 years and 18 lashes with a cane. Holy harsh sentences Batman. The judge believed he was mentally deranged and would repeat his offenses.  Not after that kind of punishment.

LATE AIRLINE PASSENGER CALLS IN BOMB HOAX

Never try this. It doesn’t work. A journalist from Germany was late for his plane taking off. He was covering the European football championship and called from his mobile phone to annonymously say there was a bomb on the flight from the Italian city of Verona to Vienna. Bad Idea, really bad idea. He then showed up late for the Air Dolomiti flight and said he had heard the flight was no longer preparing for take off. Open mouth insert foot. Since this hadn’t been  made public, he became the prime suspect. A check of his mobile phone confirmed police suspicions and he was arrested. He did succeed in delaying the plane though.  He wasn’t aboard when it took off.

 WHO ARE THE GAS MEN?

Like heroes out of nowhere they show up. No one knows who they are but they are handing out $100 bills at gas pumps. The unknown duo were dressed in sunglasses, baseball caps, khakis and matching green golf shirts when they gave Gayle Kilburn a $100 bill on Thursday as she filled up her car at a Citgo in Plainville, Connecticutt. Well, they aren’t wearing capes and tights…yet. They also handed her a card that read “Re-Fueling Our Community” and was signed “The Gas Men.” Mysterious and strange, and I wish they’d find me. Five or six other people have also beem paid a visit by The Gas Men. You gotta love superheroes, especially when they have cash.

REVOLUTIONARY WAR SHIPWRECK FOUND – INTACT!

For those of you that don’t live on the Great Lakes, here is a quick piece of perspective. When there is a storm on the lakes, they can produce hurricane force winds, no joke. I live on Lake Superior, I know. That’s what makes this discovery so amazing. A pair of shipwreck hunters have found a lost British schooner, HMS Ontario, from the 1780’s completely intact. The masts of this British warship are still standing tall, some of the windows are still in it, cannons are still in place. The ship was lost in a gale on Lake Ontario and two explorers, Jim Kennard and Dan Scoville, who have been hunting for it for years have finally seen the fruits of their labors. More importantly this has got to be the best preserved wreck in the Great Lakes and it solves one of the biggest mysteries of the lakes. It is an amazing find by any standards. To learn more about this, go here: http://www.shipwreckworld.com/story/shipwreck-explorers-discover-1780-british-warship-in-lake-ontario.aspx There are some amazing pictures along with the history and the complete story of the discovery. It is well worth the read.

BARACK OBAMA RUMOR WEBSITE, AIR DUCT JAILBREAK, MISPLACED AIRLINER, CELLPHONE STALKER, AND JASON PETER BOOK

BARACK OBAMA FIGHTS RUMORS WITH WEBSITE

You know there’s trouble when you have to set up an entire website to combat the rumors going around about you. That’s what Barack Obama has had to do. Obama and his wife Michelle seems to have gotten the media going in so many directions that it’s like trying to figure out Tom Cruise. Nobody knows what’s really going on. Hence a website. The Obama political machine has produced a site that should lay to rest everyone’s speculation about the couple with their version of the “truth.” It’s called “Fight the Smears.” Don’t you love that title. The sight is part of the official Barack Obama website and contains everything you wanted to know about the Obamas but were afraid to ask. Only kidding. http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/fightthesmearshome/ Here you’ll find the truth about the infamous Republican “Whitey” tape. You know the one that’s harder to find than Bigfoot. It talks about Obama’s alleged Muslim ties, a copy of his birth certificate, and Obama’s “racist” books.  They want the world to know that he’s a sparkly clean young man and that all is well with the world. Why am I suddenly hearing Disney music and little birds breaking out in song? Certainly the candidates should be putting out the information they want voters to see and the media always latches on to any kind of rumor it can find and tailors it to what sells. It makes it difficult on all of us that want to have informed decisions and back someone we really believe in. A website isn’t going to dispel the rumors instigated by the media and the opposition and certainly more will crop up. An information hungry public demands it. I used to start rumors about myself just to see what they sounded like when they got back to me. I found it entertaining. But then, I’m not running for office.

 

WOMAN PRISONER GETS STUCK IN AIR DUCT

In Sydney Australia, a woman attempting an escape from jail didn’t make it. I have to say it’s not like it is on TV. She got stuck in an air conditioning duct. She had been refused bail so she decided she wasn’t going to stick around. She was wrong. She stuck around alright, literally. It was an hour before they could get her out. Now she faces additional charges of attempted jail break. See, don’t believe everything you see on TV or in the movies.  Then you don’t end up in embarrassing articles on the internet.

BOEING 727 IN LOST AND FOUND

A passenger airliner has been sitting on a tarmac in Vienam for over a year. It’s at Hanoi’s Noi Bai airport and no one has come forward to claim it.  No one has reported one missing either. If you’re looking for one it’s really big, made out of metal and painted white. The plane is marked with a Cambodian flag and the name Air Dream. It can be claimed at the airport lost and found. I suspect at this point they’d give it to anyone as long as it gets out of their hair. It sounds like a good acquisition for a rock band. Although, with the price of gas, it’s probably not going anywhere soon.

IDIOT STALKER CELLPHONE MASTURBATION LEADS TO CAPTURE

If you’re going to do something weird to someone, deon’t do it over the cellphone. Onanist Benjamin Baker, 27, of Victoria, Australia, was stalking a woman, who in turn went to the police to complain. Police Prosecutor Seaton Lillas said Baker repeatedly harassed his victim by phone and sent her video of him masturbating. Baker, whose timing wasn’t the best, sent her a video of him while she was at the station filling out the complaint. Oops. “The victim answered the call to find Baker again masturbating himself and she showed the officer taking her statement,” Senior Constable Lillas told the court. Well, that’s a zip and shut case. Baker wasn’t sentanced to do any hard time, but his behavior was called “disturbing” by the judge and he was fined $3000. Yea, disturbing, no doubt.

SEX DRUGS AND FOOTBALL – JASON PETER

Jason Peter is a former Carolina Panther who has written a book, not like that’s unusual these days. What is unusual is the amount of drug use and partying he portrays in the tome. He says he could down 60 vicatin, 20 sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka. Woa, dude, how can you write a book. You shouldn’t be able to remember a thing. This makes me wonder about the credibility of this “insightful piece of literature. I think a lot of this crap is made up to sell copies. Peter King of Sports Illustrated writes in an article about the book: “Vicodin. Ambien. Cocaine. Crack. Heroin. GHB, the date-rape drug. Lots of others I’ve never heard of. He’s not sure if he’s been in rehab six or seven times. He’s blown most of the $6.5 million Carolina paid him over a disappointing, injury-filled NFL career with the Panthers. Nights and weeks with prostitutes so numerous … well, so numerous that his Madame at a high-rolling Manhattan brothel ran out of girls for him.” If you’re looking for a book about the workings of the NFL, this isn’t it. It’s the seedy side of life where overpaid atheletes go on incredible binges when they have too much money. Jason Peter wasn’t a very good football player and now we know why. He’s blown all his money and now he’s writing a book so he can buy more drugs and whores. The slander hungry public will flock to throw down their $35.00 a pop to read the trash this guy is offering. Well, there’s a sucker born every minute.  And a junkie is still a junkie, even if he can mumble out a few pages to keep his habit going.

POLAR BEARS, UFOS, BRIAN URLACHER, XP VS VISTA, AND ART?

POLAR BEARS OFFICIALLY ON ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST

The U.S. Government has listed the Polar Bear as an endangered species. It cites the rapid loss of the ice pack due to global warming as the reason. This is the first time the administration has officially admitted to global warming. Though the Department of the Interior says this shouldn’t be used as a means for addressing the issue of Global Warming, it certainly does say that the Arctic ice is melting at a very rapid pace and the Polar Bear is in danger of extinction. “This listing will not stop global climate change or prevent any sea ice from melting,” said Secretary of the Interior, Dirk Kempthorne. He said he had consulted with the White House on the decision, but “at no time was there ever a suggestion that this was not my decision.” This certainly seems like a step in the right direction though. The Bush Administration and the Federal Government has spent so much time trying to ignore the effects of Global Warming by playing Ostriches with their heads in the sand that it’s about time they pulled them out of the ground and looked around. Unfortuantely, we may have waited too long.

UK RELEASES FILES ON UFO SIGHTINGS.

The Ministry of Defence in Britain has released the files on over 11,000 UFO sightings in Britain. The British Isles have been a UFO hotspot for years and now they have declassified their files deeming UFOs as no threat. It appears the Brits prefer the Close Encounters aliens over the Independence Day version. According to the files, the alien craft come in all shapes and sizes, but the aliens themselves seem to be uniformly green. So much for the “Grays” idea.  Though 90 percent of the sightings are dismissed as explainable, 10 percent are left with a question mark. For me it certainly explains the presence of Boy George.

BRIAN URLACHER HOLDS OUT FOR RAISE

 Brian Urlacher of the Chicago Bears feels his 56.5 million dollars isn’t enough and wants a raise. He cites his arthritic back as an issue. I wish I could get that kind of money for my arthritis. Urlacher claims that since salary caps now exceed 100 million that his piece of the Bear’s pie should be bigger. He is intending on boycotting the May minicamp in protest. He still has four years to go on his nine year contract. I’m endlessly amazed by the amount of money athletes think they deserve. I agree that football takes a toll, but they knew the job was dangerous when they took it. He signed on the dotted line, he should keep his word. 56 million dollars should be enough for anybody.  

MICROSOFT MAY EXTEND LIFE OF XP

Due to pressure from some computer manufacturers, Microsoft may be giving in and not taking XP off the shelf on its deadline date. Vista simply hasn’t worked well. Customers are requesting that their new computer still be loaded with XP and many of the manufacturers have said they will continue to load them through 2009. If you want to continue to get XP you must actually request it on your new computer, but it is still available. Microsoft may be reconsidering pulling it off the shelf on June, 30. Online petitions and negative customer feedback has been ongoing.  Face it, Vista needs to go back to the drawing board. XP is a good operating system and if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.  It goes to show that if you try to market something crappy, people won’t take it. Apparently computer users aren’t suckers born every minute.

 $33 MILLION PAINTING?

Somebody paid $33 million for this? What are they crazy? This is a painting by Lucian Freud and this is the highest price ever paid for a painting by a living artist. It sold Tuesday at Christie’s. I’m sorry but if I had that kind of money, this is not where it would go. A weekend retreat in the Caribbean comes to mind. Sending money to help people in Burma or China also comes to mind. Some people have way too much money and no sense. Almost 350 million dollars was spent on this one auction and most of it by Americans. Christie’s percentage alone must have been incredible. So much for the theory that Americans don’t have much disposable cash. Ugh, I certainly wouldn’t want this painting in my living room.

WE CAN BE HEROES, DRUNK LAWNMOWER, BATHROOM CORPSE, NEVERLAND RANCH, AND THE PRICE OF BEER

 A TRUE HERO PASSES AWAY

Irena Sendler, a Polish Social worker passed away at 98 in Warsaw, Poland. This woman is a true hero on every sense of the word and should be an inspiration to all. Born in Warsaw, Sendler served as a social worker with the city’s welfare department, masterminding the risky rescue operations of Jewish children from the Warsaw Ghetto during Nazi Germany’s brutal World War II occupation. Records show that Sendler’s team of some 20 people saved nearly 2,500 children from the Warsaw Ghetto between October 1940 and April 1943, when the Nazis burned the ghetto, shooting the residents or sending them to death camps. Babies and small children were smuggled out in ambulances and in trams, sometimes wrapped up as packages. Teenagers escaped by joining teams of workers forced to labor outside the ghetto. They were placed in families, orphanages, hospitals or convents. In hopes of one day uniting the children with their families – most of whom perished in the Nazis’ death camps – Sendler wrote the children’s real names on slips of paper that she kept at home. When German police came to arrest her in 1943, an assistant managed to hide the slips, which Sendler later buried in a jar under an apple tree in an associate’s yard. Some 2,500 names were recorded. She passed away in a nursing home Monday. She earned her wings in heaven. Hopefully her legacy will live on as our world is in such need of help. Deluged with natural disasters occuring around the globe Like Myanmar, China, and Chile, children and people are left broken and battered confronted with death daily. With so many in desperate need, her example of giving, selflessness, standing up for what is right, and braving all to save those in seemingly hopeless situations while casting away differences of idealogy, culture, and politics to serve the greater need of the human family to which we all belong and rally for their rescue. 

A TRIBUTE – DAVID BOWIE AND QUEEN

DRUNK DRIVER ON LAWNMOWER

Have you ever been busted for driving a riding lawnmower drunk? An Irving, New York man can now say he has. Police got a call that a tuxedo clad intoxicated man was out driving a lawnmower in the early morning hours. He was charged with felony driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation. When did this become a felony? Someone has no sense of humor. I didn’t know you had to have a license to putt your lawnmower along the street. How fast could this guy have been going? I think I would have just asked him to go home and sleep it off. Why tie up the court system with this? Must be the cops were annoyed because they got called away from their morning coffee and donuts.

 

FAMILY LIVES WITH DEAD PERSON IN BATHROOM 

 A Wisconsin woman and her two children were discovered living with a 90 year old dead woman sitting on their toilet. Alan Bushey, a self proclaimed bishop of the Queen of the Holy Rosary Shrine had told the woman, Tammy Lewis and her children, that the corpse would come back to life if they prayed hard enough.  She and her two children prayed for four days and when nothing happened they propped her up on the toilet and left her there! The “Bishop” told the children that the decay in the corpse appeared as it did because demons wanted to make it appear as if she wasn’t coming to life. Can we all say “don’t listen to the Crazy Man?” Could this be any more braindead. Well, guess what, the body was left there for more than two months! It proves once again that people will listen to absolutely anybody.

FORECLOSURE ON MICHAEL JACKSON’S NEVERLAND RANCH AVERTED

Just in the nick of time, Neverland Ranch has been saved from the auction block. Michael’s palatial playground will apparently stay in his hands for the time being. A company has bought the loan, 23.5 Million, and now is negotiating with Jacko for terms of payment. Good luck with that. At this point his legal troubles have nearly bankrupted him and his reputation. He’ll have to put a rush on that new recording of his or it’ll get sold as an amusement park. You know, Graceland makes a lot of money. But, then again, Jackson isn’t Elvis. He was married to his daughter though. I wonder if that counts?

 

BEER PRICES RISE

OK, now I was annoyed with gas prices, then it was the rising cost of beef, we even have a rice shortage, but now they’re hitting me where I live. Beer prices are soaring. Due to the rise in transportation and a shortage of hops, It’s not like American beers use hops anyway, the cost of beer is going up. How am I suppossed to have a respectable tailgate party during football season? I’m on a low budget here and my gridiron Saturdays and Sundays are important to me, not to mention Monday Night. Maybe I’ll have to cut back on Bratwurst. No that’s just not right. I love my fermented malted beverages. This just sucks. I know what I’m doing with my tax rebate, stocking up on beer.

 

 

BARACK OBAMA, BALTIMORE RAVENS, A MILLION PENNIES, AND UNDERWATER CEMETERY

OBAMA TAKING FOCUS OFF CLINTON, BAD MOVE.

Obama seems to think he has things sewed up with the Democrats. Maybe he has and maybe he hasn’t. Yes he’s picked up a few more “superdelegates” but, neither candidate has or can get enough support to actually claim the nomination before the convention. Obama seems to shifting his focus away from Clinton and onto McCain looking to a future he doesn’t have yet. Sort of counting his chickens before they’ve hatched. It shows his inexperience in the political arena. This is alright by me because, I don’t think he can do the job anyway. He’s not experienced. Heck he hasn’t done the job he was originally elected for in Illinois. He’s a good speaker, yes, but this doesn’t equate to good foreign or domestic policy. Rhetoric doesn’t get the job done. Just what we need is another four years of someone screwing up the office of the Presidency. People need to wake up and make him do the job he was elected for in the first place before they give him another one.

BALTIMORE RAVENS BRAWL AT MINICAMP

Well this is quite a way to start out putting your team together, with an onfield fight. We’re not talking just a couple of players, we’re talking the whole team. John Harbaugh, the coach that replaced Brian Billick after nine years, is shrugging the incident off. “Guys are competing, so tempers flare a little bit,” Harbaugh said. Is this some kind of new concept for creating team spirit by beating the crap out of each other? It seems to me that the only threat the Ravens will be in the NFL this year is to each other. They’ll all be on the injured list before season starts. Way to keep those players healthy coach.

 FOURTH-GRADER COLLECTS ONE MILLION PENNIES FOR HIS SCHOOL

Andrew Niemi of Carlton, Michigan has collected one million pennies for his school. He has been collecting them since 2006 and has held fundraisers to make his goal. Last week he presented a $10,000 check to St. Patrick’s School. The money will go towards equipment and school supplies. That’s a lot of copper. Who says pennies don’t add up. Well, this ought to get him the benefit of the doubt on his tests.

UNDERWATER CEMETERY IN FLORIDA

In 45 feet of water, divers have created an underwater cemetery. It’s meant as a final resting place for those that had a passion for the sea. It consists of underwater sculptures and has room for 850 remains. The Neptune Memorial Reef is about 3 1/4 miles of Key Biscayne and is meant as a diver’s attraction as well as a resting place. A person’s ashes are mixed with a special cement and then placed in a mold. A bronze plaque is then attached to a cement sculpture as a memorial creating the underwater pantheon of cement objects for divers.  This is seriously weird. Talk about sleeping with the fishes.

 

RUSH LIMBAUGH, DRAG QUEEN CHEERLEADERS, DOG POOP LAWSUIT, AND SINKHOLES

DID RUSH LIMBAUGH INFLUENCE THE PRIMARY BETWEEN CLINTON AND OBAMA?

I would like to think people are smarter than that. Rush and his “Operation Chaos” is proving just how flawed the idea of letting non-democrats vote in the democratic primary is. The fact that he is openly trying to manipulate the primary with the zeros that listen to him demonstrates this. It also shows that maybe he isn’t completely off drugs and really should consider re-entering rehab. Next time, try valium. 

 

JETS WOULD CONSIDER DRAG QUEENS FOR CHEERLEADERS

 Denise Garvey, Choreographer for the Flight Crew, the New York Jets cheerleading squad, hinted in an interview that they would be willing to consider any kind of cheerleader trying out including Drag Queens. OK, I’m a football fan, I don’t root for the Jets, but I want my cheerleaders to be women. Actually I want them to be babes. When I buy the calendar, I want to know that January through December is someone I can fantasize about. Trust me looking at the cheerleaders has never been about talent or brains for that matter. Can you imagine if Broadway Joe had dated a cheerleader and found out it was a drag queen, wait a minute, he posed in panty hose didn’t he? 

 TOWN SUED AFTER CHILD STEPS IN DOG CRAP

A Connecticutt woman, Kelly Debrocky is sueing the town of Norwalk after claiming that an outing to the Maritime Aquarium was ruined when her 1-year-old stepping into the proverbial pile of dog crap. She wants reimbursement for ruined shoes and the admission to the aquarium. The city has responded by saying, “Poop happens.” I say watch where you put your 1-year-old. If I sued everytime I stepped in dog crap, well I wouldn’t be working and I would have one very happy lawyer. Next time, take some paper towel, disinfectant and get on with life. What are you going to do when the kid eats a bug?

THE SINKHOLE THAT ATE TEXAS

Just outside of Daisetta, Texas a sinkhole has appeared that has swallowed cars, trucks, telephone poles, even oil field equipment. It is at least 600 feet long an 200 feet deep and it is believed that it is a collapsed salt dome. That’s a lot of sinkhole. It reminds me of something out of a 50’s sci fi film. Discovered by teenagers in hotrods, it keeps growing until someone nukes it or blows up a dam to flood it out of existence.

COCKTAILS ANYONE?

OK, she gets a tip. This is actually one of the members of the Chinese National Acrobatic Troupe in training. This is the first time I’ve seen athletics provide a viable career after sports.

OBAMA-CLINTON, FAVRE JERSEY, DRUGS, AND WIZARDRY

THE BATTLE RAGES ON!

Well, the Clinton-Obama battle continues. It appears that this one will go down to the convention. At the point of this writing neither seems as if they are throwing in the towel. Obama took North Carolina and Clinton got Indiana. Personally I think this is about time. It might be nice to have a convention for a change that isn’t a foregone conclusion. Let’s have a little excitement, mystery. I’m tired of the same old same old year after year. This might be one convention I’ll watch instead of looking for a tired old rerun on cable. May the best person win. Go to your corners and come out swinging.

KID WEARS FAVRE JERSEY 4 YEARS STRAIGHT!

You have to admire fan dedication like this. David Witthoft 12 years old has worn his Brett Favre #4 jersey for 1,561 days straight. Now I wouldn’t think this would be all that unusual in Wisconsin, but David is from Connecticut. Apparently Favre’s retirement came just in the nick of time because Witthoff was eight when he first put the jersey on and was rapidly outgrowing it. So as Brett Favre’s streak comes to an end, so does David Witthoft at 1,561 days. Maybe you should get Favre to sign it and frame it. Dude, you need a bath.

 

100 STUDENTS IN DRUG BUST

Police arrest nearly 100 people, most of them students, in a massive drug bust at San Diego State University. Authorities seize a wide array of drugs and at least $60,000 in cash. Were these students doing any studying? Talk about party college. Well, this ought to do wonders for their recruiting program.

 

 SCHOOL TEACHER FIRED FOR WIZARDRY

A substitute teacher, Jim Piculas, in Florida was performing a magic trick for students. He made a toothpick disappear and reappear. OHHH, this is awful. I’m sure he corrupted these kids. He was called into the Head Supervisor of Substitute Teachers and told they had a big problem, “Wizardry.” He was then let go. Maybe Hogwart’s is looking for help. That’s what happens when you do it in front of muggles.

 

CHINESE SECRET, TACO TRUCKS, MARVIN HARRISON AND JIMI HENDRIX

CHINESE SECRET? 

 China has built a secret underground nuclear submarine base in the South China Sea. the Pentagon says it has known about it for two years. Ok, what about this is secret? Doesn’t secret mean you don’t know about it? I’m confused. The Pentagon even knows how many subs they intend on building. There’s even a picture of the base. Secret? I think not?

 SAVE THE TACOS

There is a movement in Los Angeles to restrict Taco Trucks. These mobile lunch wagons roam the streets searching for taco lovers during lunch hours. The new law would require them to stay in one location no longe than an hour. I guess that is the definition of mobile. They are extremely popular and the populace is in an uproar. Nearly 5,000 people have signed an online petition opposing the new law at saveourtacotrucks.org, where “carne asada is not a crime.” Enraged taco cart proprietors are defiant; some have hired lawyers. On Thursday, people flocked to taco trucks in support. Afterwards they immediately flocked to their nearest bathroom. Anybody bring the Beano?

 

NFL SUPERSTAR UNDER INVESTIGATION

Marvin Harrison of the Indianapolis Colts is under investigation relating to a shooting. It seems he owns the same kind of gun used in the crime. The future Hall of Famer denies any knowledge of anything to do with any crimes and has not been charged with anything. The police say they are simply covering all of their options.

JIMI HENDRIX SEX TAPE FOUND.

According to a news story, Vivid video has found a sex tape of Jimi Hendrix. They intend to release it and promote this bit of necrophelia. The Hendrix family is claiming it isn’t authentic. I say who cares. It was the 60’s. Everybody was behaving like rabbits. It wouldn’t surprise me there is a video. I’m simply not going to buy or watch. The only Hendrix videos I want to see is like the one below. R.I.P Jimi.

LET’S REMEMBER JIMI THE WAY WE SHOULD!