BILL CLINTON MAY JOIN OBAMA, KIDS PROTEST GAS, MUNICH TRAGEDY, GOD BUSTED, AND SHAQ RAPS KOBE VIDEO

BILL CLINTON MAY BE JOINING BARACKAPALOOZA

Well, the Democratic Party may actually be beginning to find itself on the same page. In an announcement today, Bill Clinton’s people communicated to Obama’s people that he might be willing to help where he can to get Obama elected.  Obama and Hillary Clinton are to appear thi weekend in New Hampshire for the beginning of a series of appearances which will be akin to the Barack and Hillary roadshow. Actually this may be a glimpse into the future if Obama is smart enough to choose Hillary Rodham Clinton as his running mate. But then again, I don’t think smart is how  would term anything about all of the campaigns so far. Though the Democrats seem to have the upper hand, it’s stil a long way to November. It is not certain when the former president will join the tour, but hopefully he will bring his saxaphone a long for some light entertainment. It could become a YouTube hit.  Obama spokesman Bill Burton said the 42nd president came up in a phone call between Obama and Hillary Clinton on Sunday. They talked about how Obama should connect with Bill Clinton in the future, Burton said. Bill Clinton extended his support to Obama for the first time Tuesday in a one-sentence statement from spokesman Matt McKenna. “President Clinton is obviously committed to doing whatever he can and is asked to do to ensure Senator Obama is the next president of the United States,” McKenna said.It’s not clear what Obama might ask him to do. The campaign wasn’t specific when asked. “A unified Democratic Party is going to be a powerful force for change this year and we’re confident President Clinton will play a big role in that,” was all Burton would say. Of course not everything is all rosie and happy. Obama’s wife has some pretty strong feelings about the former president. Michelle said of the former president in an interview with The New Yorker magazine, “I want to rip his eyes out!” before adding, “Kidding!” That’s rather strong for a joke. As you can see this team-up for Barackapalooza should be about as entertaining as putting Courtney Love and Amy Winehouse in the same room and telling them there’s no booze. It just doesn’t work. The in-fighting between these four will be hard to forget and I really don’t believe that it’s water under the bridge. In public all smiles, backstage Fleetwood Mac. We’ll see how long this lasts.

KIDS PROTEST GAS PRICES, SET EXAMPLE FOR ADULTS

Everybody is complaining, but nobody is doing anything about it. Gas Prices are too high. So are you just going to take it lying down? Sadie and Pyper Vance from Salt Lake City, Utah have had just about enough of high gas prices. The sisters are still years away from being old enough to drive, but that doesn’t mean the $4 per gallon price tag isn’t hitting them as hard as anyone else. Cable TV was one of the family’s budget-cutting casualties, leaving Sadie, 9, and her 7-year-old sister without their favorite cartoons and shows. Ouch, no cable. Well they didn’t take it lying down like everyone else has. No, they decided to protest. “Gas prices are too high,” Sadie said. “I just decided to come and protest so they’d go down.” That’s the American way. The girls marched through downtown Monday chanting and carrying signs made from old campaign signs. “All of my mom’s monny goes to the gas tank!” Pyper’s sign read. Sadie carried a sign asking drivers to honk to lower gas prices — adding that her mom had to cut “cabel.” They received some shows of support, but no one actually joined in which I think is a no brainer. “I think it’s great,” said Hamid Tayeb, who was walking past on his lunch break. “It’s unfortunate that kids are doing it before we do.” Yea, I do too. Where’s your sign? Where’s your protest? We could all learn a thing or two from these kids.

HORRIBLE TRAGEDY IN MUNICH

I am officially in mourning. I will be wearing black for the next week. A terrible tragedy occurred in Munich, Germany, a load of beer crashed on the highway creating a small beer lake. I’ve lowered my flag to half-mast. I mean we’re talking 200 crates! German beer, this isn’t Bud Light here. Munich police say the truck was transporting the beer from the Bavarian capital to a neighboring town Monday evening when siding on the truck’s trailers broke. I think the driver should be prosecuted for alcohol abuse. He didn’t take proper precautions to protect this precious shipment. The brewery suffered losses of some 10,000 Euro in the beer tragedy. Bottles crashed onto the highway flooding it with foamy wheat beer and disrupting traffic for 90 minutes. My hands are shaking, I can’t write about it any more. There may even be tears.

GOD BUSTED SELLING DRUGS NEAR CHURCH

It’s a sad day, God has been busted selling cocaine near a church in Tampa, Florida. It appears he may be spending quite a stint in jail. God Lucky Howard was taken into custody Saturday after police said he sold cocaine to undercover detectives within 1,000 feet of a church. God’s luck ran out. He’ll be the one praying now. Police also reported finding another 22 grams of cocaine and a scale at his home. Praying hard. Howard was charged with several counts of possession and distribution within 1,000 feet of a school, public housing and the church. God Not-so- Lucky Howard is being held on a bond of $86,500. Get your friends to pass the collection plate. In case you were wondering, a picture of God is below.

 

 

SHAQUILLE O’NEAL TEARS KOBE BRYANT UP IN A NIGHTCLUB RAP

I don’t know which one is worse Shaq or Kobe. Their arrogance is incredible. This video shot over the weekend has Shaq rapping and asking Kobe how his ass tastes. Great. This is just what we need from our star athletes. It appears from the video that Kobe gave Shaq a hard time in LA and was intrumental in his leaving. Like we didn’t know that. Well Shaq has taken glee in Kobe and the Lakers’ self destruction and lets the world know in the rap below. “I was freestyling. That’s all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever,” O’Neal told ESPN.com Monday. A call to the Suns on Tuesday seeking comment from O’Neal was referred to his public relations firm, which didn’t immediately respond.

TEACHER STRIPS FOR CLASS, ARMPIT SNIFFER CAPTURE, AIRLINE BOMB HOAX, THE GAS MEN, AND 1780 SHIPWRECK DISCOVERY

TEACHER STRIPS FOR HIS SCHOOL CLASS

This is a story not for the faint of heart. A teacher in Suffolk, England decided on a rather unorthadox way of getting his class of 13 and 14 year olds to stop being unruly. He decided to threaten them with a striptease. A pupil at the school said: “Kids were playing up in class and his way of dealing with it was to tell everyone to be quiet or he would take his shirt off and show his man boobs. He was quite overweight and it was a sight that nobody really wanted to see. Everyone thought he was joking and people carried on messing around, but then he really did take his shirt off. It was quite shocking but pupils thought it was hilarious.” Another added: “It was hilarious. People were goading him saying ‘I bet you haven’t got muscles’. He told us all ‘I’ll show you’ and started taking off his shirt. We all thought he was pretending but he took his shirt off and started flexing his muscles. Then he said: ‘Look, I told you.’ He put his shirt back on but he was still buttoning it up when he was teaching. Everyone was killing themselves laughing.” Well this sad tale doesn’t stop here. Oh, no. One of the students recorded it all on his cellphone and then uploaded it to YouTube. Yes, folks there’s a video for all of this. It has since been removed from YouTube probably due to the public embarrassment it’s caused. Will Theobald, 17, who posted the clip on YouTube, said: “About a quarter of the students had the clip on their phone. Everyone called him Gimli after the character in Lord of the Rings. I don’t know what he was thinking. You can’t do stuff like that and get away with it.” Apparently not in this day and age. The teacher has remained unnamed and he has not been allowed to teach at any of the British schools since. At this point, I’d be suprised if he even pokes his head out his own door. Below are some photos of the incident. This requires a bit of a strong stomach. Most of these pictures would fall under most community’s blight laws. But, here on the internet, I live for this kind of absurdity.

MAN GETS HARD TIME FOR ARMPIT SNIFFING

Never ever do anything wrong in Singapore. These people have no sense of humor for it whatsoever. A man would lurk about waiting in landings and staircases for the opportunity to sniff the armpits of women. Where does that get fun? Police were finally able to catch the bugger and he has been sentenced to 14 years and 18 lashes with a cane. Holy harsh sentences Batman. The judge believed he was mentally deranged and would repeat his offenses.  Not after that kind of punishment.

LATE AIRLINE PASSENGER CALLS IN BOMB HOAX

Never try this. It doesn’t work. A journalist from Germany was late for his plane taking off. He was covering the European football championship and called from his mobile phone to annonymously say there was a bomb on the flight from the Italian city of Verona to Vienna. Bad Idea, really bad idea. He then showed up late for the Air Dolomiti flight and said he had heard the flight was no longer preparing for take off. Open mouth insert foot. Since this hadn’t been  made public, he became the prime suspect. A check of his mobile phone confirmed police suspicions and he was arrested. He did succeed in delaying the plane though.  He wasn’t aboard when it took off.

 WHO ARE THE GAS MEN?

Like heroes out of nowhere they show up. No one knows who they are but they are handing out $100 bills at gas pumps. The unknown duo were dressed in sunglasses, baseball caps, khakis and matching green golf shirts when they gave Gayle Kilburn a $100 bill on Thursday as she filled up her car at a Citgo in Plainville, Connecticutt. Well, they aren’t wearing capes and tights…yet. They also handed her a card that read “Re-Fueling Our Community” and was signed “The Gas Men.” Mysterious and strange, and I wish they’d find me. Five or six other people have also beem paid a visit by The Gas Men. You gotta love superheroes, especially when they have cash.

REVOLUTIONARY WAR SHIPWRECK FOUND – INTACT!

For those of you that don’t live on the Great Lakes, here is a quick piece of perspective. When there is a storm on the lakes, they can produce hurricane force winds, no joke. I live on Lake Superior, I know. That’s what makes this discovery so amazing. A pair of shipwreck hunters have found a lost British schooner, HMS Ontario, from the 1780’s completely intact. The masts of this British warship are still standing tall, some of the windows are still in it, cannons are still in place. The ship was lost in a gale on Lake Ontario and two explorers, Jim Kennard and Dan Scoville, who have been hunting for it for years have finally seen the fruits of their labors. More importantly this has got to be the best preserved wreck in the Great Lakes and it solves one of the biggest mysteries of the lakes. It is an amazing find by any standards. To learn more about this, go here: http://www.shipwreckworld.com/story/shipwreck-explorers-discover-1780-british-warship-in-lake-ontario.aspx There are some amazing pictures along with the history and the complete story of the discovery. It is well worth the read.

CHELSEA CLINTON, GUN OR GAS, JAILED POLITICIANS, BARE BUTT POSTER, AND MECHAPHILIA

 CHELSEA CLINTON – THE NEXT GENERATION?

In an exclusive interview with Bill Clinton in People Magazine, he’s asked would Chelsea ever consider a career in politics? This leaves some interesting prospects for the future. A Clinton dynasty? Well it’s got to be better than the one the Bush’s have handed us. Clinton had an interesting answer.  “Before Iowa, I would have said, ‘No way. She is too allergic to anything we do.’ But she is really good at it. It all changed after Iowa. She realized her mother lost Iowa 100 percent because of younger voters. She was upset, bawled, went to her employer and said, ‘Look, you got to let me go or give me an indefinite leave of absence. I’m not letting my mother go down like this.'” It appears that Chelsea has some of her mother’s tenacity and getting her mother’s back gets her big time points. Chelsea has been a continuing presence in Hillary’s campaign and has been dealing with some tough questions on some tough issues. In the People interview, Clinton called his daughter’s “emergence” the “second best thing” of the campaign, after his wife’s resiliency. The former President also made a comment about a press bias against Hillary. “I think most of the press people are in Obama’s demographic. They need a feeling more than they perceive they need a President. There have been times when I thought I was literally lost in a fun house.”  I’m not so sure he’s correct there, but he does go on to say about Obama, “I don’t know him very well. But, I do think it’s better to have made a lot of decisions before you get to be President.” This People interview is definately worth a read and it hits newstands today. Could Chelsea get a taste for politics? Could we be seeing the continuation of the Clinton influence on American politics for the future? It sounds awfully Kennedy to me.

NEW CAR DEAL – GUN OR GAS?

At a new car dealership in Butler, Missouri they are offering a bang-up special deal. You can put $250 to either get a new handgun or gas with any purchase through the end of the month. General Manager, Walter Moore of Max Motors says most people are opting for the handgun. He recommends the semi-automatic model because it holds more rounds.  That doesn’t surprise me, with the handgun you can get your gas for free. Moore says, “Down here, we all believe in God, guts and guns.” Well, this IS the state that gave us Frank and Jesse James.

GERMAN GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS LOCKED UP BY ACCIDENT

A group of German officials were locked away in a jail previously run by the East German Stasi, the former secret police. Thinking all visitors had left, staff closed up the memorial museum that was the Stasi’s main jail, and shut the high-ranking representatives from Germany‘s 16 states inside. I bet that brought on some unintentional enlightenment. “It was a misunderstanding,” said Siegfried Reiprich, deputy director of the complex in eastern Berlin, on Wednesday. I’m sure he was hoping that he wouldn’t be fired over the mixup. Realizing they were trapped, the group called the federal Chancellery late on Tuesday and urgently requested to be let out.  About half an hour later the officials were freed from the complex where political opponents of the East German regime were once interrogated by their captors. I wish some of our politicians would “accidentally” get locked away. Then just don’t answer the phone. Anybody up for a trip to Alcatraz?

 BRITISH MAN HAS BARE BUTT POSTERED AROUND TOWN

 Pasha Cummings of Seaford, England is the latest victim of the fury of a woman scorned. According to his recently exited wife, Carol, he had been cheating on her and she decided to get even. She had 200 posters of him printed and then posted all over town on lampposts, bus stops, and walls that shows him and his bare butt posing at a barbeque. I have to admit, that would be something that should come under a blight law. Beneath the ‘glamour shot’, the posters read: ‘Pasha Cummings: lying, cheating, two-timing arse! Sandra Beckworth is no better.’ Sandra is apparently the “other” woman. Carol exited the country for Cyprus immediately upon distribution of the controversial poster. People have come up with the most creative ways to slander each other lately. Youtube, Ebay, now this. They’re certainly being creative. What ever happened to keeping your dirty laundry behind closed doors.

MAN CLAIMS SEX WITH 1000 CARS

Never buy a used car from this man, “used” being the operative word here. Edward Smith has a sexual attraction for mechanical vehicles. I guess they wouldn’t complain if you’re not very good. Smith, 57, says he first had sex with a car at the age of 15 and has banged out the fenders of more than 1000. He claims he has never been attracted to women or men and cars are just his preference. OK, something went seriously wrong here. I’ve heard of having a passion for your cars but, this is a bit over the top. They even have a name for this: mechaphilia. He is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together through the Internet. Smith, who now lives with his current “girlfriend,” a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, said he has no desire to change his ways. Of course not, all his desire is aimed at this poor VW’s fender. “I’m not sick,” he said, “And I don’t want to hurt anyone.” That, may be a matter of opinion. If the car doesn’t start, does that mean no? Does he consider Herbie the Love Bug porn? This guy would be a riot at a NASCAR rally.

 LET’S GO TO THE VIDEO TAPE: