AIR FORCE OFFICIALS RESIGN OVER STUPID MISTAKES
Defense officials who spoke on condition of anonymity said that Defense Secretary Robert Gates asked Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Michael Moseley and Air Force Secretary Michael Wynne to step down. And for good reasons. We’re talking some real screw-ups here. In August, for instance, a B-52 bomber was mistakenly armed with six nuclear-tipped cruise missiles and flown across the country. The pilot and crew were unaware they had nuclear arms aboard. The error was considered so grave that President Bush was quickly informed, who was probably off doddering in a corner reading a Dick and Jane book. Next, four cone-shaped electrical fuses used in intercontinental ballistic missile warheads were shipped to the Taiwanese instead of the helicopter batteries they had ordered. Oops, guess that was wrong. Whatever happened to competence in the armed forces? The fuses originated at F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Cheyenne, Wyoming, but the mix-up apparently occurred after the parts were shipped to Hill Air Force Base in Utah. On top of this we get a payola scandal. The Pentagon inspector general found in April that a $50 million contract to promote the Thunderbirds aerial stunt team was tainted by improper influence and preferential treatment. No criminal conduct was found. Of course not, can’t have that kind of scandal now can we? Moseley was not singled out for blame, but the investigation laid out a trail of communications from him and other Air Force leaders that eventually influenced the 2005 contract award. Included in that were friendly e-mails between Moseley and an executive in the company that won the bid. Gee sounds pretty fishy to me. Oh well, all’s well now right? Excuse me if I’m sceptical.
ALLIGATOR IN THE WATER HAZARD
In Glen Burnie, Maryland, I didn’t know they had gators in MD, an animal control officer has rid a local golf course of a menace. One of the local golfer’s reported seing a two-foot long creature swimming in one of the course’s ponds. Officer Glenn Johnson got out his fishing pole and decided to see if he could snag it and reel it in. Traps had been set but they had no luck. Johnson did. Thanks to him the Arundel Golf Park is now free of real hazards in their hazards.
REWARD OFFERED FOR BIGFOOT
Wanted, $1million reward for indisputable evidence of Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Abominable Snowman, any of his alias. Yes, there is now a bounty on the head of Bigfoot. In a joint effort, Field and Stream Magazine and Bushnell the binocular maker have put up the reward, offer good until December 15th, void where prohibited by law. This is not a joke, they really have made the offer. The also have stipulated that they are not responsible for any injuries incurred in this endeavor. They have to cover their bases. They will pay the million to anyone who can “provide an unaltered photograph/video, verified and substantiated by a panel of scientific experts, including a zoologist and biologist, the evidence required to prove a Sasquatch/Bigfoot/Yeti exists.” Driver’s, start your engines. Maybe a good place to start would be HERE!
WORLD’S BIGGEST BREASTS – GUINESS SAYS SO
Or maybe you’ll say so after few Guiness’ but it’s true Miss Mounds is the winner. The Guiness Book of World Records recently opened a catagory for largest breasts with implants. The winner is pictured below. Her picture before aumentation is also displayed for comaparison purposes. She suppossedly measures 36mmm. I don’t see where they get the 36 unless they mean 36 ft. Maxi Mounds is a lap dancer from Florida, can she fit on a lap like that? “I contacted Guinness World Records and asked if they had a category for implants, but they said no, so I let it go,” she said. “Then they asked me if I was interested as they were creating a category. Eventually they told me I won. I had the old-style silicone implants, but then came all the scare stories, so I had them replaced with overfilled saline.” But her chest began to sag, so she had tubes put in her armpits so she could be firmed up. In 2000, she had her implants removed and the pockets filled with plastic string, a procedure which has been banned. Couldn’t that be considered breast abuse? A solution was injected to make the breasts produce fluid and ‘inflate,’ but they kept on growing. Now she’s famous at strip joints everyhwere. Her name is in lights and she finally has a gimmick that places can up the cover charge. Jiggle on Maxi. Jiggle on.
Maxi when she was Mini
AMY WINEHOUSE RACIST CRACK VIDEO, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN OPERA, MONKEY GOD CHAIRMAN, AND METAL BAR BOY
Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags AARP, Amy, Annie, Art, award, Baby Boomer, bar, Bhagat, blake, blog, blogging, Brokeback, Charles Wuorinen, College, comedy, commentary, conversations, crack, digg, Donovan, Drugs, E-zine, editorial, Ezine, Family, fark.com, funny, Gerald, Glasgow, god, Google, grammy, Hanuman, head, history, house, Humor, India, Kangdi, Life, literature, Love, McGowan, Metal, Michigan, Monkey, Mortier, Mountain, Music, News, News of the world, Northern, nude women, nudity, odd, opera, opinion, paraphenalia, Politics, porn, Proulx, racism, racist, random thoughts, ruminations, Sardar, Scotland, sex, Singh, strange, Technology, The game is afoot, theonion.com. wordpress.com, Thoughts, TV, video, Vivek, weird, Winehouse, women, wordpress.org, Writing, Yahoo, youtube, zine on June 9, 2008 by mclassenAMY WINEHOUSE’S RACIST CRACK VIDEO
A video has been released showing Amy Winehouse in a crack dive singing racist songs. Now this isn’t much of a revelation since most of us already knew she was on crack. The interesting thing about his video is that she may be prosecuted for it. The video which was filmed by her husband Blake in 2007, currently in jail, showed the troubled singer sitting by a table, spread with what has been reported as heroin and drug paraphernalia. Actually, I’m surprised she hasn’t used it in one of her music videos. “Why I’m not going to rehab no, no, no.” This evidence has come into light just days after Britain’s top police officer, Sir Ian Blair, called for celebrities caught snorting drugs on camera to be put on trial. Since the evidence is so ovewherlming in Winehouse’s case she may become a test for Blair’s theory. “My position is that a sensible jury would not expect people to be sniffing talcum powder.” Recently the star has been getting publicity as going to rehab and getting her life back in order, though I for one am not buying her reformed attitude. The video shows exactly how much of a disaster she is. But this new kink in the life of bizzarro Amy certainly could put her back into tailspin mode. She has been making noise about wanting to be a mommy so she can join the ranks of Michael Jackson and Brittney Spears as disfuntional celebrities that should never be allowed to reproduce. Can you see her and Blake trying to raise a kid. It makes you shudder.
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN – THE OPERA?
Here’s a genius concept. Let’s turn Brokeback Mountain into an opera. Yes, plans are in the works to convert the academy award winning film into an opera. I can hardly wait, singing cowboys, yuck. The New York City Opera commissioned Charles Wuorinen to compose an opera based on “Brokeback Mountain,” the 1997 short story by Annie Proulx. “Ever since encountering Annie Proulx’s extraordinary story I have wanted to make an opera on it, and it gives me great joy that Gerard Mortier and New York City Opera have given me the opportunity to do so,” Wuorinen said in a statement. They’re aiming for a release date of 2013. Hey aren’t people saying the world will end in 2012? Well maybe that’s the bright side to that, we won’t have to put up with this opera.
COLLEGE INSTATES MONKEY GOD AS CHAIRMAN
I’m not sure how good of an idea this is. Hanuman, the popular god known for his strength and valor, has been named official chairman of the recently opened Sardar Bhagat Singh College of Technology and Management in northern India, a school official said Saturday. Has anyone looked at his resume. He’s a monkey god! Monkeys like mischief, not business. “It is our belief that any job that has the blessings of Lord Hanuman is bound to be a success,” said Vivek Kangdi. Blessing, yes, actually running the show, not well thought out. The position comes with an incense-filled office, a desk and a laptop computer. Four chairs will be placed facing the empty seat reserved for the chairman and all visitors must enter the office barefoot, said Kangdi, the school’s vice chairman. It seems to me it is going to make it awfully hard to get any decisions here. “When we were looking for a chairman for our institution, we scanned many big names in the field of technology and management. Ultimately, we settled for Lord Hanuman, as none was bigger than him,” Kangdi said. I think next time they should consider an employment service. Though I expect the monkey god works for bananas.
METAL BAR IN MAN’S HEAD
Donovan McGowan lived with the piece of metal inside him for three months after an operation. You would think he’d have done something about this sooner. It’s not like you can’t notice this. The 18-year-old suffered from blinding headaches and also had an unsightly lump on the side of his head. Eventually, he demanded a scan and it was then doctors found the bar. Duh, It’s right there. They said, “This is quite embarrassing but there is something metallic like a tube still in your head. It’s been more than embarrassing for me having to walk about with this lump,” said Mr McGowan, from Glasgow,Scotland. I bet it made it hard to pick up girls. The rod was left behind during an operation at Southern General Hospital, Glasgow, in March after he was hit by a car. From his picture he looks like still has part of the fender in his head.
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