PRINCESS EUGENIE HIGH JINKS, NAME CHANGE, BEN STILLER VIRAL VIDEO, AND MARCUS VICK TROUBLE

PRINCESS EUGENIE CAUGHT RUNNING NAKED AND DRUNK

It seems that teenagers of the British royal monarchy aren’t immune to some wild and crazy college antics. Princess Eugenie, god that’s an awful name, the 18-year-old daughter of Prince Andrew, Duke of York, and Sarah Ferguson, was apprehended for her involvement in end of term “high jinks” at the exclusive Marlborough College, west of London. Yes they are actually terming it “High Jinks.” Leave it to the Brits. A royal source told the Press Association: “It was nothing more than high jinks at the end of term in May. A group of them were reprimanded and that’s the end of the matter.” Not quite. Those of us in the media that find these things endlessly humorous tend to sit back and make sure our readers get to see the fun as well. A college staff member was woken by playful shrieks and found several young women dancing around without clothes. There was no suggestion boys were present or that drugs were involved, but a pupil said the students had been drinking. Nothing like a good college party to pitch the inhibitions. I can see it now, a new video, Princess Gone Wild. Eugenie is suppossed to be attending the Queen’s birthday celebration this weekend. You can bet what the topic of conversation’s going to be. Naked, drunk and in the tabloids, thanks for the birthday present.

 

MAN CHANGES NAME TO “IN GOD WE TRUST.”

Hi, My name is In God, What’s yours? A school bus driver and amateur artist from the Chicago suburb of Zion has legally changed his name to “In God We Trust.” A Lake County circuit court judge approved Steve Kreuscher’s name change petition on Friday. This is one that simply should have been turned down. The man, formerly known as Steve, had his first name changed to “In God,” while his last name was changed to “We Trust.”  He says the new name symbolizes the help God gave him during tough times and says he can’t wait to begin signing his artwork with the new moniker. Wait until he tries to cash a check or sign a credit card slip. Good luck with that. 

BEN STILLER CREATES A VIRAL VIDEO…WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM HIS FRIENDS!

MARCUS VICK IN TROUBLE – I WANNA BE LIKE MIKE

What is it with this family? Does everybody just like the idea of being incarcerated? Now Michael Vick’s younger brother Marcus is in trouble…again. I guess he wants to join his brother on his prison football team since the Miami Dolphins dropped him like a hot potato. Police said a uniformed bicycle patrol officer observed Vick and a female involved in an altercation in a car around 2 a.m. The officer asked if his assistance was needed, then asked Vick for his driver’s license. Police say Vick then sped away, but was stopped minutes later. Vick failed a field sobriety test and was charged with DUI, misdemeanor eluding police, reckless driving, driving on the wrong side of the road and driving on a suspended license. The passenger, Delicia Cordon of Miami, Fla., was charged with being drunk in public. Where does any of this sound fun? Another promising football career shot in the butt, I guess there’s little else. I just don’t get these guys. Both of them had it made and they just threw it away. It doesn’t say much for their IQ.

MEMORIAL DAY, GRUMPY QUEEN, OBAMA PARROT, PORN TAX, AND ROBBY KNIEVEL

 THE ORIGIN OF MEMORIAL DAY

The following is a quick history lesson on where Memorial Day comes from. I did not write this and it comes from the Cox and Forkum website. It is nicely done and I figured if it isn’t broke don’t fix it. If you see a Veteran, I suggest doing this any day not just the holiday, tell them thanks and buy them a cocktail. They earned it.   

The official birthplace of Memorial Day is Waterloo, New York. The village was credited with being the birthplace because it observed the day on May 5, 1866, and each year thereafter, and because it is likely that the friendship of General John Murray, a distinguished citizen of Waterloo, and General John A Logan, who led the call for the day to be observed each year and helped spread the event nationwide, was a key factor in its growth. General Logan had been impressed by the way the South honored their dead with a special day and decided the Union needed a similar day. Reportedly, Logan said that it was most fitting; that the ancients, especially the Greeks, had honored their dead, particularly their heroes, by chaplets of laurel and flowers, and that he intended to issue an order designating a day for decorating the grave of every soldier in the land, and if he could he would have made it a holiday. Logan had been the principal speaker in a citywide memorial observation on April 29, 1866, at a cemetery in Carbondale, Illinois, an event that likely gave him the idea to make it a national holiday. On May 5, 1868, in his capacity as commander-in-chief of the Grand Army of the Republic, a veterans’ organization, Logan issued a proclamation that “Decoration Day” be observed nationwide. It was observed for the first time on May 30 of the same year; the date was chosen because it was not the anniversary of a battle. The tombs of fallen Union soldiers were decorated in remembrance of this day.  The alternative name of “Memorial Day” was first used in 1882, but did not become more common until after World War II, and was not declared the official name by Federal law until 1967. On June 28, 1968, the United States Congress passed the Uniform Holidays Bill, which moved four holidays from their traditional dates to a specified Monday in order to create a convenient three-day weekend.

THIS WAS COURTESY OF THE COX AND FORKUM WEBSITE

 

 THE QUEEN HAS A GRUMP ON

 A British newspaper says the Canadian bride of the Queen’s eldest grandson is being blamed for a controversial deal with celebrity magazine Hello! for exclusive photos of their wedding at Windsor Castle. Montrealer Autumn Kelly married Peter Phillips on Saturday at the castle’s 15th-century St. George’s Chapel in front of 300 guests. The deal is reported to be worth $1 million. That’ll pay for one heck of a honeymoon. The British royal family and particulary Queen Elizabeth is up in arms about this as they weren’t consulted on the deal. The wedding pics will include images of most of the royals, including the Queen, Princess Anne, Prince Charles, and Prince Harry and his girlfriend Chelsy Davy. Yep that about covers everyone the magazines would be interested in. The Brits are saying that images of their Queen doesn’t belong in a gossip rag. Too late now. Hello, published over 60 pics of the wedding. The new Mrs. Phillips said she needed the money to pay for expenses since nobody else was willing to pick up the tab. I think she probably has more deals in the making. I’m sure a book deal, How I Managed to Marry into the Royal Family, could be in the works. Then there’s the lecture circuit, 10 steps to courting the grandson of a queen. Then there’s talk shows, websites, the list is endless. She could make an entire career out of this. Wow Canadians have their own member of the royal family now. Hey, guest appearances at hockey games singing “Oh Canada.” 

 

OBAMA PARROT

This is an idea that was suggested by one of the Midnight Ramblings readers, Tom Vickers. He has a blog here on wordpress that’s always worth a look at called TV’s Weblog-The Great Nonsense of Life. He thought that Smokey, the Obama supporting talking Parrot would fit right in. I agreed. This is just too funny. The video is taken from a CNN report done by Jeannie Moos. She’s quite clever and it’s cool to have it on the site. Watch and enjoy.

TAX ON PORN?

California is in deep financial trouble. Who isn’t? They have decided to get into the porn business so to speak. In an effort to get the state back on track a new concept in “sin” tax is being considered. Since most pornography is produced in southern California, state Assemblyman, Charles Calderon has proposed a 25% tax on all porn production and sale. Holy Ron Jeremy Batman! That’s a heavy duty tax. That’ll make your porn cost worse than the price of gas. Isn’t this a sort of state sponsored pimping? If they’re smart they’ll just pack up and move somewhere else. It’s not like they need studios, actors, or talent for these things. They ought to fit right in at Key West.

ROBBY KNIEVEL BEATS EVEL’S RECORD

“Hopefully I’ll see you after the jump,” Knievel told everyone just before he climbed the start ramp. With that, Robby took off and broke his dad, Evil Knievel’s, record. He jumped 200 feet and 24 semi trucks with his motorcycle. The previous record was 115 ft. This just so rocks. He did the jump in the same place, King’s Island in Mason Ohio, that his father had set the previous record. Robbie Knievel dedicated his stunt to his father, U.S. war veterans and those serving in the military. Look ma I can fly!

INSANITY IS COOL WHEN IT WORKS. LET’S GO TO THE VIDEO TAPE:

MCCAIN PREACHERS, ESCAPING PRISONER, PLUMBING THIEF, TOXIC VOMIT, AND ODD LAPTOP

 JOHN MCCAIN, BARACK OBAMA IN PREACHERS GONE WILD

 What is it with preachers and politics lately? I thought the pulpit was for expressing love, understanding, forgiveness, not political platforms to slam “Whitey” and endorse Hitler. I thought there was suppossed to be a seperation between church and state. With weirdos like Reverend White and John Hagee running around out there, we need to consider that seperation issue. Obama and McCain certainly are. With Obama’s attempt to distance himself from his former pastor Rev. White, the pulpit politics really seemed to start rolling. The political season seems to be the time when every whack job on the planet comes out of the woodwork. Heck, alot of them are running for office. John McCain has had two renegade radical Reverends try to attach themselves to his coattails. They’re worse than trying to shake off a bad hangover. The most recent has been John Hagee, the pastor from San Antonio that declared God allowed the rise of Adolf Hitler because it resulted in returning Israel to the Jewish people. Now that’s certainly some twisted logic. Now I’m a live and let live kind of guy, which I thought was the basic teachings of christianity. Apparently not with these guys. Now, I don’t blame Obama or McCain for making these kinds of errors. It just shows that they’re going to screw up like most politicians. McCain also received the endorsement of another controversial television evangelist in late February, the Rev. Rod Parsley of Ohio, whose sermons have been called anti-Muslim. In one sermon, posted on YouTube, Parsley described “our historical conflict with Islam,” adding that “America was founded, in part, with the intention of seeing this false religion destroyed.” Where did he get that from? What history book was that in? I never saw that. Do these guys make up this junk as they go along? McCain seems to be drawing these guys like flies. It was bad enough courting an association with Jerry Falwell. McCain has of course disavowed any endorsements with Hagee and Parsley even though he himself originally wanted their endorsements. It appears he knew not whom he sought. Politicians need to go back to seeking the old political endorsements, like labor unions and foreign diplomats instead of religious nuts. You remember, that seperation of church and state thing. Pulpits belong in church not politics.   

 

SUSPECT STEALS POLICE CAR WHILE CUFFED

In Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, a suspect was being transported in a police car to court. He was handcuffed and all the precautions had been taken. At least that’s what they thought. The 24-year-old man got away Thursday when police transporting him to court stopped for a toilet break in the northern Perak state, local police chief Roslan Bek Ahmad said. Along the way, they stopped at a rest area off a highway. Two of the policemen went to the toilet while a third officer remained with the suspect in the car. The suspect overpowered the officer, got behind the wheel and sped away, driving with his hands still cuffed. Clever. Though they set up a roadblock, this guy was determined he was going to get away. After driving against the traffic the police car ran off the road and crashed into a tree. When the police arrived, the man had disappeared. I wish I knew that trick. Next time, go to the bathroom one at a time and leave the guard some backup.

PLUMBING THIEF PLAGUES FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS

In Norristown, Pennsylvania, a new kind of thief has struck with a different concept of take out. His diabolic target is the plumbing at local fast food joints. So far he has hit two McDonalds and several Burger Kings. Jean Morrison, a detective for the East Norriton Township is on the case. This evil genius takes about four minutes to shut off the water to the toilets and urinals and pulls all the pipes out. Morrison thinks the thief might be fencing his take for brass value. She may have gotten a big break in this debilitating crime spree. A survellience camera may have gotten this arch villain on video. Thieves. If it isn’t tied down, wait a minute, these were tied down. I guess nothing’s safe anymore. Not even the plumbing.

TOXIC VOMIT POISONS 54 PEOPLE

Ok, this is really weird. A new trend in Japan, is committing suicide by drinking toxic materials. A man was brought into a hospital in Kumamoto, Japan after drinking a large amount of pesticide. The doctors were trying to pump his stomach when he vomited before dying. The spray was so toxic that it caused 54 doctors, nurses and patients to have breathing problems and sores on their eyes. The emergency room had to be decontaminated and everyone was transferred to a different hospital. Over 50 people have killed themselves this way. Whatever happened to the old method of Japanese suicide, Hari Kari. At least it doesn’t endanger everyone else or turn the place into an environmental hazard.

 

DUAL SCREEN LAPTOP – WHO’S IDEA WAS THIS?

This is one for all you collectors of strange things out there. This is a dual screen laptop that is currently up for auction on Ebay. I’ve never seen anything quite like it and it certainly didn’t go far in the commercial market. The auction says it’s a prototype made by Xentex in 2002, called the Dual Screen Voyager and sold for nearly $5,000! That’s an expensive laptop. The unique thing is that the screen pivots so someone opposite you can look at the screen. The body of it actually folds twice so that it is more compact. I just thought I’d put this up for the annals of the odd, strange and curious.

 

BARACK OBAMA, BALTIMORE RAVENS, A MILLION PENNIES, AND UNDERWATER CEMETERY

OBAMA TAKING FOCUS OFF CLINTON, BAD MOVE.

Obama seems to think he has things sewed up with the Democrats. Maybe he has and maybe he hasn’t. Yes he’s picked up a few more “superdelegates” but, neither candidate has or can get enough support to actually claim the nomination before the convention. Obama seems to shifting his focus away from Clinton and onto McCain looking to a future he doesn’t have yet. Sort of counting his chickens before they’ve hatched. It shows his inexperience in the political arena. This is alright by me because, I don’t think he can do the job anyway. He’s not experienced. Heck he hasn’t done the job he was originally elected for in Illinois. He’s a good speaker, yes, but this doesn’t equate to good foreign or domestic policy. Rhetoric doesn’t get the job done. Just what we need is another four years of someone screwing up the office of the Presidency. People need to wake up and make him do the job he was elected for in the first place before they give him another one.

BALTIMORE RAVENS BRAWL AT MINICAMP

Well this is quite a way to start out putting your team together, with an onfield fight. We’re not talking just a couple of players, we’re talking the whole team. John Harbaugh, the coach that replaced Brian Billick after nine years, is shrugging the incident off. “Guys are competing, so tempers flare a little bit,” Harbaugh said. Is this some kind of new concept for creating team spirit by beating the crap out of each other? It seems to me that the only threat the Ravens will be in the NFL this year is to each other. They’ll all be on the injured list before season starts. Way to keep those players healthy coach.

 FOURTH-GRADER COLLECTS ONE MILLION PENNIES FOR HIS SCHOOL

Andrew Niemi of Carlton, Michigan has collected one million pennies for his school. He has been collecting them since 2006 and has held fundraisers to make his goal. Last week he presented a $10,000 check to St. Patrick’s School. The money will go towards equipment and school supplies. That’s a lot of copper. Who says pennies don’t add up. Well, this ought to get him the benefit of the doubt on his tests.

UNDERWATER CEMETERY IN FLORIDA

In 45 feet of water, divers have created an underwater cemetery. It’s meant as a final resting place for those that had a passion for the sea. It consists of underwater sculptures and has room for 850 remains. The Neptune Memorial Reef is about 3 1/4 miles of Key Biscayne and is meant as a diver’s attraction as well as a resting place. A person’s ashes are mixed with a special cement and then placed in a mold. A bronze plaque is then attached to a cement sculpture as a memorial creating the underwater pantheon of cement objects for divers.  This is seriously weird. Talk about sleeping with the fishes.

 

VOLCANO, NICK NOLTE, NAME CHANGES AND SPAM

CHILEAN VOLCANO ERUPTS

A long dormant volcano erupts in Chile. We wish the residents there well and hope they get faster action than we got in New Orleans. At least they won’t be dealing with FEMA. People are being evacuated from the area and their biggest problem is water. There don’t seem to be any deaths reported, so evacuations seem to have worked. The volcano had been dormant for 9 – 10,000 years.

 

NICK NOLTE AND HARE KRISHNA 

 Nick Nolte has turned to Hare Krishna to keep himself from the demon alcohol. According to a report, drum circles and chants are keeping him sober. I bet I know what chants he’s been using too, “I’m not a bad actor. I’m not a bad actor.” “I really do have a career, I really do have a career.” Keep telling yourself that and maybe somebody will believe it.

BUS DRIVER NAME CHANGE

A school bus driver in Illinois wants to legally change his name to “In God We Trust. His current name is Steve Kreuscher.  He says it is to symbolize the help God gave him through tough times. So what do we call him – In, God, We, or Trust? Do we call him IGWT for short? I’m sorry but if he changes his name he’s going to need God to get through the tough times his name change will cause. It makes you wonder about the mental state of a guy that’s driving those kids to school.

ANNIVERSARY OF SPAM E-MAILS

May 3 is the anniversary of the first junk e-mail. It was sent out to promote a new computer and it was done in 1978. Yes, 30 years ago. In honor of this momentous anniversary and an e-mail box full of crap, we present the following video.