Archive for Ironman

HILLARY CLINTON GRADUATION, DRUNK WHEELCHAIR, MISSING FOR 42 YEARS, HULK KIDNAPPED, AND GEORGE CARLIN

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2008 by mclassen

 HILLARY CLINTON’S PROMISE

Hillary Clinton made a guest appearance this weekend at a high school graduation. It appears she is a woman of her word. Clinton said she had known Aleatha “and her wonderful mother, Patricia,” since the girl was 2 and had promised her when she graduated from eighth grade that she would attend her high school graduation. Well, unlike many politicians, she kept her promise and her word. “Four years later, here I am with all of you,” Clinton said. The girl, Aleatha Williams, a campaign volunteer and the daughter of a supporter, introduced the senator to fellow graduates from Pelham Preparatory Academy in the Bronx as “my aunt.” Auntie Hillary, sort of has a ring to it. “No one five years ago, no one four years ago, when I attended Aleatha’s graduation lunch, could have predicted that an African-American and a woman would have been competing for the presidency of the United States in 2008,” Clinton said. Schools Chancellor Joel Klein, who attended the school’s commencement ceremony at nearby Fordham University, said students should always remember that an American hero spoke at their graduation. “She changed America’s view of women,” Klein said. “Someday soon, very soon in America, we will have a woman as president. And you know what that woman will say? ‘I would not be here had it not been for Hillary Rodham Clinton.”‘

Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y.

MAN IS ARRESTED FOR DRUNK WHEELCHAIR DRIVING

 I didn’t know you could get busted for driving a wheel chair drunk, but apparently they fall under the motorized vehicle laws. In Australia a handicapper had been buzzing down the street drunk. He apparently passed out in the turn lane when police came along. Since it wasn’t a handicapped parking spot, he was taken downtown and charged. Police in the tropical northern Queensland city of Cairns said the man had a blood alcohol reading of 0.31, and was so drunk he was asleep at the controls of his motorized wheelchair in a turning lane of a major highway. “It beggars belief,” Police Inspector Bob Walters told the Cairns Post newspaper, adding wheelchairs, bicycles, horses and skateboards were all considered to be vehicles under the local road laws. “It’s unlawful, it is unacceptable and people should realize it could lead to a fatality,” he said. Other motorists on the four-lane highway had to swerve to avoid the wheelchair, police said. Well, next time, stay on the sidewalk.

WOMAN FOUND AFTER 42 YEARS WATCHING TV

You know how neighbors say, “They were such quiet people.” Well it’s really true in this case. Hedviga Golik, who was born in 1924, had apparently made herself a cup of tea before sitting in her favourite armchair in front of her black and white television. That was in 1966 and she was 42. The neighbors reported her missing then and thought she had moved away to live with relatives. She was discovered by police in the Croatian capital of Zagreb, long-dead and sitting in her armchair in front of her black-and-white television 42 years later! You’d think sombody would have at least noticed an odor. A police spokesman said: “So far, we have no idea how it is possible that someone officially reported missing so long ago was not found before in the same apartment she used to live in. When officers went there, they said it was like stepping into a place frozen in time. The cup she had been drinking tea from was still on a table next to the chair she had been sitting in and the house was full of things no one had seen for decades. Nothing had been disturbed for decades, even though there were more than a few cobwebs in there.” No one said if the TV was still on. Weren’t there bills piling up or something? A neighbor, fittingly, remembered Golik as “a quiet woman who kept herself to herself.” Yea, quiet, too quiet.

HELP! HELP! CALL IRONMAN, THE INCREDIBLE HULK IS MISSING

The Hulk has been kidnapped! Call Ironman, Spiderman, the Punisher, locate the Hulk. Police in Lowell, Massachusetts, say a promotional statue for the movie The Incredible Hulk disappeared from its spot in front of a local theater this week. Police Capt. James McPadden says the statue is probably in some kid’s bedroom. There’s brilliant detective work. It’ll probably be on Ebay soon. But he thinks more than one person was involved and that a car or pickup truck was needed to whisk it away. The statue is missing its feet because it was bolted to a platform and whoever took it snapped it off at the ankles. Oh, no, they broke the Hulk. Hmmm, Hulk smashed.

The Incredible Hulk

 

GEORGE CARLIN PASSES AWAY  

The world has lost another great soul. George Carlin passed away at age 71. Of course he is one of my personal favorite comedians and I remember him all the way back when he first appeared doing his Hippy Dippy Weatherman routine in the 60’s on TV. Below I’ve posted some of his best routines to remember the moments I know he would want us to remember at his funniest. George’s perspectives on life and the world around us gave us a different way to look at things. Thanks for the laughs George.

GEORGE IN THE BEGINNING 

GEORGE ON JOHNNY CARSON WITH FLIP WILSON

SEVEN WORDS

GEORGE ON DEATH

PRINCESS EUGENIE HIGH JINKS, NAME CHANGE, BEN STILLER VIRAL VIDEO, AND MARCUS VICK TROUBLE

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 15, 2008 by mclassen

PRINCESS EUGENIE CAUGHT RUNNING NAKED AND DRUNK

It seems that teenagers of the British royal monarchy aren’t immune to some wild and crazy college antics. Princess Eugenie, god that’s an awful name, the 18-year-old daughter of Prince Andrew, Duke of York, and Sarah Ferguson, was apprehended for her involvement in end of term “high jinks” at the exclusive Marlborough College, west of London. Yes they are actually terming it “High Jinks.” Leave it to the Brits. A royal source told the Press Association: “It was nothing more than high jinks at the end of term in May. A group of them were reprimanded and that’s the end of the matter.” Not quite. Those of us in the media that find these things endlessly humorous tend to sit back and make sure our readers get to see the fun as well. A college staff member was woken by playful shrieks and found several young women dancing around without clothes. There was no suggestion boys were present or that drugs were involved, but a pupil said the students had been drinking. Nothing like a good college party to pitch the inhibitions. I can see it now, a new video, Princess Gone Wild. Eugenie is suppossed to be attending the Queen’s birthday celebration this weekend. You can bet what the topic of conversation’s going to be. Naked, drunk and in the tabloids, thanks for the birthday present.

Princess Eugenie

 

MAN CHANGES NAME TO “IN GOD WE TRUST.”

Hi, My name is In God, What’s yours? A school bus driver and amateur artist from the Chicago suburb of Zion has legally changed his name to “In God We Trust.” A Lake County circuit court judge approved Steve Kreuscher’s name change petition on Friday. This is one that simply should have been turned down. The man, formerly known as Steve, had his first name changed to “In God,” while his last name was changed to “We Trust.”  He says the new name symbolizes the help God gave him during tough times and says he can’t wait to begin signing his artwork with the new moniker. Wait until he tries to cash a check or sign a credit card slip. Good luck with that. 

BEN STILLER CREATES A VIRAL VIDEO…WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM HIS FRIENDS!

MARCUS VICK IN TROUBLE – I WANNA BE LIKE MIKE

What is it with this family? Does everybody just like the idea of being incarcerated? Now Michael Vick’s younger brother Marcus is in trouble…again. I guess he wants to join his brother on his prison football team since the Miami Dolphins dropped him like a hot potato. Police said a uniformed bicycle patrol officer observed Vick and a female involved in an altercation in a car around 2 a.m. The officer asked if his assistance was needed, then asked Vick for his driver’s license. Police say Vick then sped away, but was stopped minutes later. Vick failed a field sobriety test and was charged with DUI, misdemeanor eluding police, reckless driving, driving on the wrong side of the road and driving on a suspended license. The passenger, Delicia Cordon of Miami, Fla., was charged with being drunk in public. Where does any of this sound fun? Another promising football career shot in the butt, I guess there’s little else. I just don’t get these guys. Both of them had it made and they just threw it away. It doesn’t say much for their IQ.

ROBERT DOWNEY JR BURGER SAVIOR, ANTARCTIC CONDOMS, SHINY NEW OUTHOUSE, PIGEON REHAB, MICHIGAN METEOR, AND MOONDUST TELESCOPE

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2008 by mclassen

ROBERT DOWNEY JR SAVED BY BAD BURGER KING

This is one of those stories you can’t make up. Robert Downey Jr. claims to have been convinced to get straight by a bad burger experience at Burger King. In an interview with Britain’s Empire magazine, the 43-year-old actor recounts an incident in 2003 when he was driving around with “tons of f—ing dope” when he decided it was time for a burger. “I have to thank Burger King,” he told Empire. “It was such a disgusting burger I ordered. I had that, and this big soda, and I thought something really bad was going to happen.” After the bad burger experience, he said he tossed all of his drugs into the ocean and decided to sober up for good. I have to admit, I’ve had some pretty bad burgers at Burger King but I have yet to experience the epiphany burger. I wonder what they put on one of those. Apparently he got a combo with his. Burger King’s new Epiphany burger helping people with their lives and indigestion. Don’t forget the Tums.

ANTARCTIC RECEIVES 16,500 CONDOMS

It seems we’ve been missing out. It appears that when the sun goes down in the antarctic, the fun begins.  Bill Henriksen, the manager of the McMurdo base station, said nearly 16,500 condoms were delivered last month and would be made available, free of charge, to staff throughout the year to avoid the potential embarrassment of having to buy them. Party on! Hats off folks. The base only has a skeleton staff through the winter but what a staff. “Since everybody knows everyone, it becomes a little bit uncomfortable,” Henriksen said. Frigid here doesn’t seem to be a problem. Sunrise starts again in late august and then supply flight resume and tourism picks up. Let’s see, 3 months, endless nightlife,16,500 condoms, that says orgy to me. I wonder what kind of cocktails they have down there. It may be cold and snowy down there, but they’ve obviously found something to occupy themselves. Put me down for a visit. Artic Researchers Gone Wild, it could be the next big thing. Where’s my video camera?

 MAN FIGHTS TO KEEP OUTHOUSE – WINS

In Batavia, Ohio, Elbert Preston, everybody calls him Lew, refused to give up having an outhouse. It seems that his old one was violating a few health codes and the powers that be wanted it gone. Well, Lew wasn’t going to stand, or sit for that.  A former trustee for Washington Township, he challenged the board of health for months before seeking help from People Working Cooperatively, a nonprofit that has done thousands of projects for low-income, elderly and disabled residents in southern Ohio and northern Kentucky. They built him a new outhouse, one that was up to codes. “It’s too nice and complicated to be an outhouse,” Lew said. “I call it a privy.” Preston, who is slowed by diabetes and has colon problems and pacemaker, said he never saw the need to replace the old outhouse, which once was picked up and carried into his garden by a tornado without major damage. He said he has used an outside toilet since settling in Washington Township 40 years ago and likes the privacy of a privy. “When you’re in a house, sounds carry, Everybody knows your business.” I’m guessing we won’t be seeing any high tech from this guy.

PIGEON ENTERS REHAB 

 Al Coury of Wanamaker, Indiana races pigeons. He sent several of them to Montgomery, Alabama to be released for a race which uses the birds instincts to race back home. First pigeons to their home loft wins the race. Well, one of his birds decided enough of this bird crap and decided he’d had enough. He found a nice hospital courtyard and checked himself in for some RandR. The pigeon went about making friends with the patients of the Meadows Hospital and even sat in on some group sessions held in the courtyard. The avian athelete, now dubbed Miss Pigeon had a band on its leg with Coury’s phone number on it and he was contacted. He told them to feed the bird unpopped popcorn and then went to reclaim the wayaward creature. There is no word on what the bill for the bird’s recovery will be. Do professional homing pigeons get health care?

METEORITE SHAPED LIKED MIGHIGAN GETS $20,000

A 75 pound meteorite shaped like Michigan’s lower peninsula fetched $20,000 at an auction in Dallas, Texas. The owner Darryl Pitt was disapointed. He felt it Should have gone for $50,000. Well times are hard Darryl and of course it’s no corn flake. A recent fiasco over an Illinois shaped cornflake fetching bids that neared $250,000 at one point was on Ebay. Maybe that was the problem, it wasn’t on Ebay. Darryl felt his meteor should rival one that sold not long ago that was shaped like the Indian subcontinent. That one went for $90,000, but it also weighed three-quarters of a ton. I guess in this case, size really does matter. Look at it this way, you sold a piece of space junk for 20 grand. You’re lucky you got that much.

TELESCOPE MADE FROM MOONDUST

Peter Chen, a NASA scientist feels he has found a practical way to build a telescope on the moon. Why we need one I haven’t quite figured out yet, but he thinks he can do it anyway. He wants to make it from moon dust. He has been experimenting with moon dust-like particles and has been able to creat a small example to show everyone he can do this. Of course we’re not talking real moondust and this may prove better in theory than practice. “We believe we have found a way to turn moon dust into a telescope,” said Peter Chen, with NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland. The process require combining nanotubes, small carbon fibers, and crushed rock that simulates moondust. Actually it sounds like he was making mudpies to me. “First we had something very gooey and smelly,” Chen told reporters at the American Astronomical Society meeting last week. “Then we had this very hard, very stable material like concrete.” Yep, mud pies. OK, adobe. The latin Americans discovered that a long time ago.  Chen feels his process can create a structure and the entire telescope system. Isn’t this really redundant? With Hubble working so well, why do we need one on the moon. But then again, we just spent billions to find salt on Mars, I guess we might as well spend a few billion more to make some mudpies on the moon. The real problem is there’s way too much grant money floating around for projects like this.

REAL IRONMAN, CUB SCOUT FRAUD, ASIAN PHOTOGRAPHY, CARVED HEART, AND VINCE YOUNG

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2008 by mclassen

 COULD IRONMAN BECOME REALITY?

Stephen Jacobson, a design engineer has created an exoskeleton that can increase his strength 20 times normal. It is a robotic suit that a man fits inside and can accomplish tasks that no normal human could even dream of doing. Jameson works for the development and design firm, Sarcos Inc. in Salt Lake City and is under a two year contract with the U.S. Army. Talk about reminiscent of Tony Stark and Stark industries. Though the suit is much bulkier than Ironman’s streamlined sci-fi look, it is only in the beginning stages but it does operate with many of the same principles in mind. Sarcos’ Jacobsen envisions factory workers someday using the technology to perform manual labor more easily, and firefighters more quickly carrying heavy gear up stairwells of burning buildings. Disabled people also may find uses for the technology. “We see the value being realized when these suits can be built in great numbers for both military and commercial uses, and they start coming down in cost to within the range of the price of a small car,” said Jacobsen. From Comic to reality, we could have a bunch of Ironmen running around. I think Marvel Comics should ask for royalties on this one.

 

 

CAN’T EVEN TRUST A SCOUT ANYMORE.

A former Bethlehem, Pennsylvania woman will serve up to 23 months in prison for having her 7-year-old son dress as a Cub Scout to collect money for a nonexistent cause. Now that’s just low. Sally Ann Gombocz, 51, told a Northampton County judge she wanted to apologize to anyone she hurt. I’ll bet she did. Getting your kid to panhandle as a cub scout is seriously twisted. She previously pleaded guilty to theft by deception and corruption of a minor. Gombocz had her boy tell people he was raising money for a camping trip and collected all of $69. Gombocz was sentenced Friday to six to 23 months in the county slam. She also was fined $2,000, ordered to perform community service, take parenting classes, have psychological counseling and submit to random urine screens. She also must pay restitution. I wonder if it was all worth it? That’s what you get for trying to give the scouts a black eye.

WHAT ARE THESE GUYS PHOTOGRAPHING?

OK, they didn’t teach me about this in my photography class. Check out where these cameras are aimed. How come I never get invited to these kinds of photo ops? People are aressted for taking these kinds of pictures. Actually I’ve written about people arrested for taking these kinds of pictures. It appears, in Asia, anything goes, including the lens up the skirt.

GIRLFRIEND STABS BOYFRIEND ACCIDENTALLY DURING WEIRD SEX.

Catherine McCoubrey, 25, and her 24-year-old partner had been drinking heavily. It’s amazing how alcohol would figure into this. He apparently asked her to carve the shape of a heart in him during what prosecutors called “rough sex” in February 2007, but unfortunately, she pressed too deeply. Someone has been living in the woods too long. Defence lawyer John McAmmond said the unnamed victim introduced his client to “body modification”, and had carved himself with knives before. Get a hobby. I’m thinking, something that doesn’t deal with sharp objects. McCoubrey, from Winnipeg in Canada, has now been given three years’ probation after pleading guilty to assault. The boyfriend has taken her back. Someone put the knives away.

VINCE YOUNG PARTY ANIMAL

Another NFL Quarterback parties hard. Vince Young was caught in a bar in Austin, Texas, throwing back tequila with the best of them. Matt Leinart was caught about a month ago doing beer bongs with sorority girls at his house. It appears Young took this as a challenge and is trying to outdo Leinart. Vince forgot one very important thing though, the sorority girls! It appears from these pictures that Vince may have walked into the wrong bar. I wonder if they’re listening to the Village People? Is this a male topless bar? Are those bedroom eyes looking at Vince in the second picture? Could he be the Tennessee Titan?

Vince Young

HUGH HEFNER, MICHAEL VICK, REALLY BAD DAY, SKULL BONG AND SUPERHEROES

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 10, 2008 by mclassen

HUGH HEFNER WANTS MILEY CYRUS FOR PLAYBOY

Hugh Hefner has decided that Miley Cyrus would look good gracing the pages of Playboy. When she’s of legal age of course. He thinks she would be perfect for a pictorial. Says Hef: “Sure, she’d be welcomed in the magazine. Very pretty lady. And I think to make such a big to-do over something as innocent as those [Vanity Fair] photos, I think is a reflection on how schizophrenic America is about sexuality.” I think the whole thing has gotten creepy. Miley is turning out to be a 15-year old sex symbol. Definately creepy. It adds a new dimension to playmate of the month.

 

KHARMA AND LAWSUITS KEEP HAUNTING MICHAEL VICK

A judge just ordered Michael Vick to pay $2.4 million to a Canadian bank for a loan he defaulted on. The former Atlanta Falcon is also required to pay $499 in interest per day and the banks attorney’s fees totalling nearly $12,000.  Michael, you had it made and threw it all away. What goes around comes around. It’s Kharma baby!  By the way, how’s quarterbacking that prison team working out for you?

 EVER HAVE A REALLY BAD DAY?

Justin Hill was turning into his driveway and he ran into a car. His wife heard the crash and ran outside to see what it was all about leaving the stove going and the dinner on. Hill was hauled to the hospital as his house went up in flames. Then he was given the traffic ticket for failure to yield the right of way. Talk about insult to injury. It wasn’t even Friday the 13th.

SKULL BONG

Three teens in Texas have dug up a skull from an old grave and converted it into a marijuana bong. Kevin Wade Jones, Mathew and Richard Gonzales, all 17, dug up the grave of an 11 year old boy from 1921 in an abandoned cemetery, near Humble, Texas. They then took the skull and converted it into a pot bong. That’s just plain bad JuJu boys. The trio is being charged with corpse abuse. OK, I grew up in the 60’s, I’ve been stoned and in a cemetery, but it would never have occurred to me to “Hey man, let’s dig up some kid and make a bong out of his head.” I know I wouldn’t have been jumping on that bandwagon. I’m not usually a proponent of psychiatrists, but I’m making an exception in this case.

 IRONMAN, SPIDERMAN AND THE HULK

For those of you that saw Ironman and want to know what Marvel Studios has in store for the future, Here’s a glimpse.