Archive for johnson

AIR FORCE ERRORS, GATOR GOLF WATER HAZARD, BIGFOOT REWARD, AND BIG BOOBS – WORLD RECORD

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 6, 2008 by mclassen

AIR FORCE OFFICIALS RESIGN OVER STUPID MISTAKES

Defense officials who spoke on condition of anonymity said that Defense Secretary Robert Gates asked Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Michael Moseley and Air Force Secretary Michael Wynne to step down. And for good reasons. We’re talking some real screw-ups here. In August, for instance, a B-52 bomber was mistakenly armed with six nuclear-tipped cruise missiles and flown across the country. The pilot and crew were unaware they had nuclear arms aboard. The error was considered so grave that President Bush was quickly informed, who was probably off doddering in a corner reading a Dick and Jane book. Next, four cone-shaped electrical fuses used in intercontinental ballistic missile warheads were shipped to the Taiwanese instead of the helicopter batteries they had ordered. Oops, guess that was wrong. Whatever happened to competence in the armed forces? The fuses originated at F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Cheyenne, Wyoming, but the mix-up apparently occurred after the parts were shipped to Hill Air Force Base in Utah. On top of this we get a payola scandal. The Pentagon inspector general found in April that a $50 million contract to promote the Thunderbirds aerial stunt team was tainted by improper influence and preferential treatment. No criminal conduct was found. Of course not, can’t have that kind of scandal now can we? Moseley was not singled out for blame, but the investigation laid out a trail of communications from him and other Air Force leaders that eventually influenced the 2005 contract award. Included in that were friendly e-mails between Moseley and an executive in the company that won the bid. Gee sounds pretty fishy to me. Oh well, all’s well now right? Excuse me if I’m sceptical.

 

ALLIGATOR IN THE WATER HAZARD

In Glen Burnie, Maryland, I didn’t know they had gators in MD, an animal control officer has rid a local golf course of a menace. One of the local golfer’s reported seing a two-foot long creature swimming in one of the course’s ponds. Officer Glenn Johnson got out his fishing pole and decided to see if he could snag it and reel it in. Traps had been set but they had no  luck. Johnson did. Thanks to him the Arundel Golf Park is now free of real hazards in their hazards.

 

REWARD OFFERED FOR BIGFOOT

Wanted, $1million reward for indisputable evidence of Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Abominable Snowman, any of his alias. Yes, there is now a bounty on the head of Bigfoot. In a joint effort, Field and Stream Magazine and Bushnell the binocular maker have put up the reward, offer good until December 15th, void where prohibited by law. This is not a joke, they really have made the offer. The also have stipulated that they are not responsible for any injuries incurred in this endeavor. They have to cover their bases. They will pay the million to anyone who can “provide an unaltered photograph/video, verified and substantiated by a panel of scientific experts, including a zoologist and biologist, the evidence required to prove a Sasquatch/Bigfoot/Yeti exists.” Driver’s, start your engines. Maybe a good place to start would be HERE!

WORLD’S BIGGEST BREASTS – GUINESS SAYS SO

Or maybe you’ll say so after few Guiness’ but it’s true Miss Mounds is the winner. The Guiness Book of World Records recently opened a catagory for largest breasts with implants. The winner is pictured below. Her picture before aumentation is also displayed for comaparison purposes. She suppossedly measures 36mmm. I don’t see where they get the 36 unless they mean 36 ft. Maxi Mounds is a lap dancer from Florida, can she fit on a lap like that? “I contacted Guinness World Records and asked if they had a category for implants, but they said no, so I let it go,” she said. “Then they asked me if I was interested as they were creating a category. Eventually they told me I won. I had the old-style silicone imp­lants, but then came all the scare stories, so I had them replaced with overfilled saline.” But her chest began to sag, so she had tubes put in her armpits so she could be firmed up. In 2000, she had her implants ­removed and the pockets filled with plastic string, a procedure which has been banned.  Couldn’t that be considered breast abuse? A solution was injected to make the breasts produce fluid and ‘inflate,’ but they kept on growing. Now she’s famous at strip joints everyhwere. Her name is in lights and she finally has a gimmick that places can up the cover charge. Jiggle on Maxi. Jiggle on.

Breasts

Maxi when she was Mini

Breasts

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PEARL HARBOR MONUMENT, MARIJUANA COMPOST, PLAN 9 REMAKE, AND BIG BUCK BUNNY

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2008 by mclassen

PEARL HARBOR NATIONAL MONUMENT

In one of the few moves I’ve ever agreed with by George Bush, he’s trying to get national Monument status for the Pearl Harbor region in Hawaii. To date no such thing exists. There is the memorial for the USS Arizona and Ford Island, where several of the Navy’s battleships were moored during the attack, is a National Historic Landmark. This would give historic staus to the whole region which would qualify it for preservation and restoration beneifts. A May 29 presidential memo to Defense Secretary Robert Gates and Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne said such status could offer the sites additional protection. “These objects of historical and scientific interest may tell the broader story of the war, the sacrifices made by America and its allies, and the heroism and determination that laid the groundwork for victory in the Pacific and triumph in World War II,” Bush said. Surely this region deserves the recognition and the protection.  This plan might also include some of the surrounding areas where other World War II conflicts took place like Guam, Wake and Midway. If Bush was looking for something that the American public would approve of this will likely not elicite many arguments. Yes, George, for once you may actually have a good idea. Remembering a war is better than having one. I think I may mark this one on the calendar- Bush has a good idea. I never thought we’d be going there.

 

USING MARIJUANA AS COMPOST?

Police have arrested a 30-year old man in Iowa for possessing Marijuana with the intent to distribute. He says no. He was going to recycle it. I know I recycle mine. Every chance I get. Yes, according to him, it was for the compost pile. Apparently he’d been smoking some before he handed them that excuse. You gotta hand it to him, it’s original. Police say that the several bags he had all held at least a gallon of pot each. That’s a lot of compost. I wonder if he was going to mix it with manure, like his story is.  The police wasn’t buying it as he now has to post $14,000 for bail. I guess the compost will be a little thin this year.

THE ULTIMATE MOVIE REMAKE – PLAN 9

I admit it, I’m a fan of really bad movies. There are few worse and more hilarious than Ed Wood’s classic Plan 9 from Outer Space featuring Tor Johnson and Vampira.  The beauty of this film is its complete ineptitude as a film. Now a company wants to remake the film. Just what we need is a bad remake of a bad film.  Let’s see bad story, bad acting and bad effects. Hmm, can’t be worse than Spielberg’s War of the Worlds. But I think they ought to leave it alone. If they turn it into a good movie, then the beauty is lost, same thing if they try to do a comedy, Plan 9 is unintentionally funny. If I want to watch silly Sci-Fi, I’ll catch Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks.   Anyway, a tiny little horror production company in Charlottesville, Virginia has announced plans to remake it as titled Plan 9, in participation with Conrad Brooks, the only surviving cast/crew member, aiming for a release date of 9/9/09. Guys if you want to do cheap bad horror/sci-fi try something that hasn’t been done. Personally I’m looking forward to Zombie Strippers. Leave great bad classics alone and let Ed Wood rest in his angora film maker deluded peace. Next thing some idiot will want to do a hip-hop version of Rocky Horror. Oops, better keep my mouth shut, somebody will run with that one.

BIG BUCK BUNNY

This thing is too funny. You have to watch it to the very end and bear with the credits. It’s worth it.