Archive for McCain

OBAMA NASCAR LEFT TURN, SAVED BY LUNCHBOX, LOST AND FOUND, CITYWIDE POTTY TRAINING, AND WESTERN SPAGHETTI

Posted in Animals, Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Pets, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 12, 2008 by mclassen

 OBAMA AND NASCAR?

 They say that politics makes for strange bedfellows. Well, it doesn’t get much stranger than this. BAM racing has solicitied the Barack Obama campaign to sponsor one of their cars. This would make for a strange combination indeed. Nascar and its fans are a bastion of right-wing conservative Republicans that lean to the left only on the racing track. It seems his money would be better spent elsewhere. BAM team spokesman Rhett Vandiver told The Associated Press on Friday that the team has made a sponsorship proposal to the Democratic presidential hopeful’s campaign, and has made similar proposals to the campaign of Republican John McCain and at least one third-party candidate. It appears they are bound and determined to have some sort of political sponsorship no matter where it comes from. Sports Illustrated first reported the proposal on its Web site, saying Obama’s campaign is in talks with BAM, a part-time operation that hasn’t raced in recent weeks, to sponsor its No. 49 car in the Aug. 3 race at Pocono. “I don’t know how far along the discussions are,” Vandiver told AP. Asked about the talks, Obama campaign spokeswoman Jen Psaki said, “We get a lot of good ideas every day, but there are no such agreements in place at this time.” But BAM’s choice of drivers and car brands might turn out to be a little too sticky politically for the Obama camp. The car, a Toyota, the only foreign automaker racing in NASCAR, would be driven by veteran Ken Schrader. According to the Federal Election Commission’s Web site, Schrader gave $1,000 to the campaign of North Carolina Republican congressman Robin Hayes in June 2004, and a total of $2,500 in 2003 and 2004 to the failed Virginia congressional campaign of Republican Kevin Triplett, a former NASCAR official. Also according to the FEC, Mrs. Ann Schrader of Concord, N.C. and Ken Schrader Racing donated a total of $2,000 to President Bush’s campaign in May 2004. None of this makes any sense for Obama. It just seems stupid. It all looks like BAM racing is desperate to find sponsorship anywhere and is clutching for straws. A “vote for Obama” car zipping around the oval driven by Republicans, maintained by Republicans and built by Republicans is just wrong on so many levels. It just seems a little like the beginning of the apocalypse or at least a sign of it anyway.

LUNCHBOX SAVES MANS LIFE

Don’t go anywhere without your lunchbox. Carlos Juarez says his lunchbox saved his life. That’s quite a claim. He was waiting for his ride to work early Tuesday in his driveway when two attempted robbers accosted him, demanding money. Right in your own driveway, is nothing sacred? Carlos replied he had no money and the would-be thieves opened fire, hitting him twice in the side. Juarez said he reflexively held up his lunch cooler over his chest to shield himself from the bullets and the cooler was hit twice. It’s not everyone that can say their lunchbox took a bullet for them, let alone two. “He thinks the cooler saved his life,” Carlos Paz, a friend who translated for Juarez, told The Associated Press. “If he doesn’t have the cooler, the shots come maybe in the heart.” Juarez still has one of the bullets that was in the cooler. I might keep a souvenir too. A lunch container of rice and meat has a bullet hole, as does a package of gum also in the cooler. After Juarez was shot, he climbed the stairs of the apartment building with the cooler still in his hand. “Carlos, I got shot,” he told his friend. Paz said at first he didn’t believe it, but then saw blood on his friend’s side and called police. Blood would give you a clue. Juarez, who was treated at a hospital and released, says doctors have been unable to remove two bullets from his side because of swelling. He also had a cut on his forehead that he suffered when one of the men hit him with what he thinks was a bat as Juarez reached for the cooler. Juarez, who came to the United States from Ecuador about five years ago, works for a concrete flooring company. No arrests had been made Wednesday.

$55,000 FOUND IN JAIL BATHROOM

Somebody lose something? Possibly a lot of money? Well check lost and found, it appears they have it. A correctional officer at the intake facility at the St. Louis County Justice Center in Clayton, Missouri, last week found $55,000 stuffed behind a toilet paper dispenser. The bundle of money was in $100 and $50 bills, said Clayton Police Chief Thomas Byrne. Officials interviewed inmates about the money, but none admitted knowing anything about the stashed cash. I bet they didn’t. Cash like that inside of prison sounds like a pyoff for something to me. That’s one deal that won’t go down.The money was placed in a special bank account until the owner can be determined, Byrne said. Or arrested, I bet.

CITY POTTY TRAINING RESIDENTS

Imagine, as a grown adult, your city trying to teach you how to properly use the restroom. That is exactly what one city in South Taiwan has started to do. To reduce over 340 tons of waste generated daily, Tainen launched it’s new potty training program which is geared towards teaching its 764,000 residents to flush their toilet paper instead of throwing it in trash cans. Yuck. “An old habit is to throw toilet paper in the trash can beside the toilet, which causes a major stink that’s bad for public sanitation.” Ya think? When “Japanese and Western visitors come to Taiwan, they find this Taiwan toilet habit to be quite poor.” I’d say that’s an understatement. This habit developed because of pipe backup and clogging problems, however the current system can handle the load without backing up. In addition to solving the issue of trash buildup and smell concerns, flushing the toilet paper will actually save the city $600 million a year in trash treatment costs.

WESTERN SPAGHETTI

This is a creative little piece that I just found clever and fun.Check it out.

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MCCAIN’S CENSORSHIP OR SECURITY, SAVED BY A CUP OF TEA, DECAPITATED MAN AND THE COP THIEF, AND MARRY YOUR DOGS

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2008 by mclassen

SECURITY OR CENSORSHIP AT MCCAIN RALLIES

Are the candidates taking security too far? The video below shows a 61-year-old librarian being harrassed and removed from a John McCain town hall meeting in Denver, Colorado. Now as I understand them, town hall meetings are where you meet the candidates and then ask your most probing questions of them to see if they are worthy of your vote. It is also suppossed to be a forum where you express your opinions to candidates to see if they are willing to do something about the issues that are most important to you. This video clearly shows the people in charge of the McCain camp and the meeting trying to stop some individuals who might have dissenting opinions of McCain from even attending the rally. They cite security as their reasoning for refusing the admittance. The police are then called and tickets are issued for trespassing at a public event! Is this Security or censorship? Are our politicians more interested in the orchestration of their gatherings than maybe having a rogue question catch them off guard? How are we to have a political process when the process is quelled. This video shows a disturbing trend with individuals who are obviously no danger to anything being ushered out of sight, out of mind and then to add insult to injury with fines and court appearances when they are performing a valid exercise of their political, not to mention constitutional rights. Last I looked, this was still the United States wasn’t it? Did I miss a meeting?

 A CUP OF TEA SAVED MY LIFE

What do you do when you’re confronted with a knife weilding thief? Why you make him a cup of tea of course. A 30-year-old Tokyo, Japan woman was walking along a corridor in her apartment building with her daughter on Monday when a man brandishing a knife demanded money. I hate it when that happens. When the housewife told him she had none, the man barged into her apartment. Apparently he didn’t believe her. Hoping to calm him, the woman made the thief a cup of tea, whereupon he put his knife away and began a 20-minute monologue about his life. The dude had a Dr. Phil moment. Or maybe it was a Jerry Springer moment, we don’t actually know what he said to her. The woman then gave the man 10,000 yen ($93.34) and ran outside to call the police from a pay phone. The guy should have been paying her for the couch time.  Police rushed to the scene, but the thief had fled and is still being sought. See, a spot of tea can save your life, quick thinking, a friendly ear, it’s all good.

COP SAYS DECAPITATED MAN GAVE PERMISSION TO STEAL HIS BELONGINGS

I can’t believe any one actually bought this load of bull. A  Caledon, Germany, police captain, Dawid Johann Jullies claiming that a decapitated car crash victim  had given him permission to take the floor mats and hub caps from the wrecked vehicle, was subsequently found innocent of theft by an internal police hearing when the investigators concluded that the decapitated victim did indeed give permission, contrary to the family’s claims that this was impossible. What? How stupid were these people? Subsequently, a court agreed with the family and found the officer guilty of theft, sentencing him to 3 years in prison, suspended for 5 years. So in other words, he got off with a “don’t do it again.” However, Julies became the police station commissioner the very next day, or ironically, the head of the police station, despite having been found guilty of theft by the court. There’s nothing like rewarding larceny. Yep let’s give him a promotion. Somtimes there’s just no justice.

MARRY YOUR DOGS, NO MORE “LIVING TOGETHER”

Do you have nore than one dog? Well, don’t let them live in sin anymore, get them a wedding and make their life legal. Yes, it’s a new trend, like Americans didn’t have anything else to spend their money on. The popularity of dog weddings is on the rise and Reverands are finding that a little pet wedding can add an extra boost to their coffers. For the 63% of Americans who own pets, there’s a growing sector of the $40 billion dollar pet industry waiting to sell them wedding-related services like pet marriage counseling, pet wedding planners, pet caterers, pet trainers, and even special pet priests who conduct actual certified pet weddings. As one reverend told the Chicago Tribune: “Marriage for an animal is almost like marriage for a human. An animal union is more like a blessing under God. Well, I am a reverend,” Scott said. He apparently didn’t want to give his full name. “If you’re in a family with two animals and they want to unite in a wedding, what difference does it make? It is not a sign of the Apocalypse. It is a sign that animals often seek to form a lasting bond and have deep commitment.” Keep telling yourself that Scott. Pet owners can make the wedding even more official by getting a real human marriage license and setting up a gift registry at PetSmart. You didn’t think big business wasn’t going to get in on this did you? Question: If the dogs are legally married and they have puppies, does selling them constitute puppy slavery? Does the married couple have recourse to get their children back? I bet there’s some lawyer out there willing to test this.

dog-wedding1.jpg

IT APPEARS SOMEONE FINALLY FOUND A USE FOR THAT ORDAINMENT LICENSE THEY GOT FROM THE BACK OF ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE FOR $20.

MCCAIN OBAMA CONDOMS, ROYAL DEBT, UNICORN DEER, AND CLOUD MAKING MACHINE

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 12, 2008 by mclassen

GET YOUR POLITICALLY CORRECT? CONDOMS 

Feeling screwed by this election already and want some payback. Feel the need to become politically erect? The Practice Safe Policy website is selling both John McCain and Barack Obama condoms, from their sister sites, McCainCondoms.com and ObamaCondoms.com. I’m not sure this would help my sex life. The McCain site says these condoms are “old but not expired,” while the Obama site says “who says experience is necessary?” Both sites sell a package of two for $9.95, but shipping is an additional $3. PayPal is accepted, naturally.

For McCain: Give your “troops” the protection they deserve, buy McCain Condoms today! This will turn out to be the ultimate collectors item or a perfect gift for grandpa! Trophy wife approved. For the proud, liberal Republican, conservative Republican.

For Obama: These are uncertain times. The economy’s a ball-buster and the surge went flaccid… but now there’s Obama Condoms, for a change you can believe in! For the elitist penis. They won’t leave a bitter taste in your mouth. When you just want to close the deal.

Yes, show your support for your candidate. The thing that bothers me is that politicians never live up to their promises. Does that mean these might leak like a White House tipster? I say never trust a politician…or one of their condoms. You might have a unexpected tax deduction on the way.

 

 PRINCE CHARLES PAYS 350 YEAR OLD DEBT

Don’t you hate it when the relatives leave unpaid bills.  That’s what happened in this case. A bill that has been hanging out since 1651was just paid by Prince Charles.  The debt was incurred in 1651 when King Charles II, at the time recognized only as the King of Scotland, was preparing for the Battle of Worcester. He asked the Clothiers Company in Worcester to prepare uniforms for his soldiers and pledged to pay afterward, but his forces were defeated and Charles fled to mainland Europe. Needless to say the bill was left out there unpaid. So, it seems Prince Charles didn’t appreciate his descendants fiscal irresponsibility and has taken care of his namesake’s debt. He did decline to pay the interest on it saying “I wasn’t born yesterday.” The Master of the Clothiers Company of Worcester, Andrew Grant, received the money from the prince in a 1650-style gaming purse made by the Royal Shakespeare Company. The two met at the Commandery, the royal headquarters during the battle. “We are very grateful to the Prince of Wales for repaying the debt to the Worcester Clothiers Company,” Grant said. Those Brits, they always have to have a little pomp with their circumstance. The must have been getting a bad score on Freecreditreport.com.

UNICORN DEER DISCOVERED IN ITALY

This is fantasy becoming reality,” Gilberto Tozzi, director of the Center of Natural Sciences in Prato, Italy, told The Associated Press. “The unicorn has always been a mythological animal.” Well, this one is a bit far from the mythological animal, but it is interesting just the same. The 1-year-old Roe Deer, nicknamed “Unicorn,” was born in captivity in the research center’s park in the Tuscan town of Prato, near Florence, Tozzi said. P.T. Barnum would have loved this one. He would have passed it off as, rare one of a kind, never before seen by human eyes. Yep, I can hear him now. But I digress, this way to the egress. This deer was one  half of a pair of twins born in the preserve. Tozzi believes this could be the origin of the unicorn myth. I’m not buying that, but it appears he had to come up with something to say. “This shows that even in past times, there could have been animals with this anomaly,” he said by telephone. “It’s not like they dreamed it up.” Trust me, I live in the land of “more deer than we know what to do with.” They come in all shapes and sizes. One with a unicorn horn wouldn’t surprise me much. I find it interesting, but origin of myths, I don’t think I’d stretch it to quite those limits. He’s a cute little bugger though.

This undated photo provided by the Center of Natural Sciences ...

 

CLOUD MAKING MACHINE

Remember when you were a kid looking up at the sky and you were trying to see what kinds of shapes you could see in the clouds. OK, I still do that. Well, now there is a machine that actually makes predetermined shapes. This may take some of the imagination out of it, but they are intriquing just the same. A former magician, Francisco Guerra, has come up with the concept that terms his clouds “Flogos.” They are made of soap and gases, such as helium, which allow them to fly off and retain their puffy texture. In other words, they are elaborate soap bubbles. “They will fly for miles,” said Mr Guerra. “They are durable so they last a while.” Depending on the weather and the formula used, the Flogos can last from a few minutes to more than an hour. They can fly up to 30 miles and go as high as four miles but normally the little clouds level out at about 500ft. I can see where people will be reporting a lot more UFOs in the future. “It looked like the head of Mickey Mouse.” His machines can pump out a Flogo at a rate of one every 15 seconds. That’s enough to blot out the sun. The clouds can be made in 2ft or 3ft sizes but a 6ft generator is in the pipeline. Current designs are only available in white but Mr Guerra plans to add color options from next year. Wow, clouds with color. I’m not sure how I’ll be able to take that.

Cloud-making machine

Cloud-making machine

Cloud-making machine

SIGN OF THE TIMES

blog post photo

 

BILL CLINTON’S CONSPIRACY, CHEESE RACE, MACY’S PIRATE, AND HIRE A CAT

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2008 by mclassen

BILL CLINTON’S CONSPIRACY THEORY

Just because I’m paranoid doen’t mean there isn’t a conspiracy. Fox Mulder isn’t the only one seeing conspiracies. Former President Bill Clinton, campaigning for his wife in South Dakota, said Sunday that she was the victim of a conspiracy. He said some were trying to “cover up” Hillary Clinton’s chances of winning in key states that Democrats will have to win in the general election. “I can’t believe it. It is just frantic the way they are trying to push and pressure and bully all these superdelegates to come out,” Clinton said. ” ‘Oh, this is so terrible: The people they want her. Oh, this is so terrible: She is winning the general election, and he is not. Oh my goodness, we have to cover this up.’ She is winning the general election today and he is not, according to all the evidence,” Clinton said. “And I have never seen anything like it. I have never seen a candidate treated so disrespectfully just for running. Her only position was, ‘Look, if I lose I’ll be a good team player. We will all try to win, but let’s let everybody vote, and count every vote,’ ” Well, certainly he is correct about one thing. Let’s count all the votes. As a nation we definately learned how just a couple fo votes meant everything in Florida. We all remember “hanging chads.” The results of that election proves our election system needs to be looked at and overhauled. For a country that is suppossed to set examples for the democratic process, we haven’t been doing too well in the last few years. We the people have a right to have our say and the Clintons are correct in this. Is there a conspiracy? Anything is possible in politics and there seems to be an awful hard push to make sure Obama IS the democratic candidate. I’m certain the Republicans would like to see him instead of Hillary Clinton. All they have to do is point at his inexperience and McCain is the winner. Obama hasn’t even sat in his Senate chair long enough to get it warm.  There’s a reason they call him “Junior” Senator. The important thing here is fairness. As the Clintons ask, count ALL the votes. If Obama wins fair and square, fine, if Clinton wins fair and square, fine. The important thing is getting back to Democracy and everyone having their voice and vote. This country has had enough controversy over the elections of its leaders. Is there a conspiracy? Let’s hope not, because that means someone else is deciding for us, fixing our elections and taking away our right to vote for whom we want. That’s not democracy. 

CHEEZY CONTEST IN ENGLAND INJURES 19

This is probably the cheesiest thing you’ll read in this blog. I know I shouldn’t make those kinds of statements, but I suspect it’s true. OK, picture this. A really steep hill, a large collection of people with no common sense, and a race to catch a rolling, runaway, cheese wheel that rolls down the slope, then it rains. That’s what goes on annually at Cooper’s Hill In Gloucester, England. This year it was attended by more than 3,000 spectators and over 30 first aid volunteers. A 19-year-old, Christopher Anderson, won the first race but was carried from the hill on a spinal board after tumbling past the finish line head over heels, hurting his back in the process. Hmm. I wonder how that could have happened. “The conditions were horrific, you just have to get your head down and hope for the best,” said his friend, Shane Beard. “Chris went absolutely flying. He is completely fearless but I hope he hasn’t hurt himself.” Oh, and don’t worry, the women can get in on this too, proving that they can be just as dumb as the guys. A 17-year-old student, Flo Early, won the women’s race and got to keep the wheel of Double Gloucester cheese. She then declared: “Next year I want to take on the boys.” Believe it or not, this race has been going on longer than people can remember. It is believed that it originated with the Britons and Romans.  I think I know what it was. They gorged themselves on ale, lined up all of the village idiots and declared, “Chase the cheese.” And they did. And they still are.

Competitors throw themselves down Coopers Hill in pursuit of ...

Competitors roll down Coopers Hill in pursuit of a round of ...

NOW FOR A VILLAGE IDIOT MOMENT:

 

PIRATES BOARD MACY’S

Ar, this guy be no Jack Sparrow, he got caught. Listen up mateys, a man who was carrying a rusted pirate-style sword through Macy’s flagship store in Manhattan is facing charges of criminal possession of a weapon. It’s a sad day when a pirate can’t carry his sword. Police say 29-year-old Lawrence Jackson was brandishing the curved sword while visiting Macy’s Herald Square store Sunday with his girlfriend. Ar, trying to impress the wench he was. Parlay? He told police he was carrying the sword because he is a member of a kickball team whose players dressed like pirates. He swears by all that be holy he was on his way to a game when he was arrested. He sailed away with a fair wind. Sea turtles mate, Sea turtles.

 

FINANCIAL TROUBLES – HIRE A CAT?

Is your business in financial trouble, need help. Well, I suggest going and getting a cat. Yes, I said a cat. That’s what they’ve done in Japan and it has worked better than they could have hoped. Actually the whole thing has pretty much occurred by accident, they were only trying to give it a home. Tama, a nine-year-old female cat, wearing a stationmaster cap and a neck sign reading: ‘Super Stationmaster Tama’ welcomes passangers. This is all this kitty does, schmooze the customers. Of couse make sure you pick up your Tama kitty souveniers on the way out. The cat lives at the Kishi Station in western Japanese city of Kinokawa. I wonder where they keep the litter box? The near bankrupt Japanese train company Wakayama Electric Railway Co. found the cat in an abandoned building nearby and it has been single-handedly bringing the company back to solvency with it’s popularity. All Tama does is sit by the entrance of the station, wearing the black cap, posing for photos for tourists, now flocking in droves from across the nation. I can see how this would appeal to a cat. “She never complains, even though passengers touch her all over the place. She is an amazing cat. She has patience and charisma,” Wakayama Electric Railway Co. spokeswoman Yoshiko Yamaki said. “She is the perfect station master.” The cat recently got a raise. In cat food of course. I bet nobody ever came up with this one in one of those “Think out of the box” seminars.

Tama, a nine-year-old female cat, wearing a stationmaster cap ...

MCCAIN PREACHERS, ESCAPING PRISONER, PLUMBING THIEF, TOXIC VOMIT, AND ODD LAPTOP

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 24, 2008 by mclassen

 JOHN MCCAIN, BARACK OBAMA IN PREACHERS GONE WILD

 What is it with preachers and politics lately? I thought the pulpit was for expressing love, understanding, forgiveness, not political platforms to slam “Whitey” and endorse Hitler. I thought there was suppossed to be a seperation between church and state. With weirdos like Reverend White and John Hagee running around out there, we need to consider that seperation issue. Obama and McCain certainly are. With Obama’s attempt to distance himself from his former pastor Rev. White, the pulpit politics really seemed to start rolling. The political season seems to be the time when every whack job on the planet comes out of the woodwork. Heck, alot of them are running for office. John McCain has had two renegade radical Reverends try to attach themselves to his coattails. They’re worse than trying to shake off a bad hangover. The most recent has been John Hagee, the pastor from San Antonio that declared God allowed the rise of Adolf Hitler because it resulted in returning Israel to the Jewish people. Now that’s certainly some twisted logic. Now I’m a live and let live kind of guy, which I thought was the basic teachings of christianity. Apparently not with these guys. Now, I don’t blame Obama or McCain for making these kinds of errors. It just shows that they’re going to screw up like most politicians. McCain also received the endorsement of another controversial television evangelist in late February, the Rev. Rod Parsley of Ohio, whose sermons have been called anti-Muslim. In one sermon, posted on YouTube, Parsley described “our historical conflict with Islam,” adding that “America was founded, in part, with the intention of seeing this false religion destroyed.” Where did he get that from? What history book was that in? I never saw that. Do these guys make up this junk as they go along? McCain seems to be drawing these guys like flies. It was bad enough courting an association with Jerry Falwell. McCain has of course disavowed any endorsements with Hagee and Parsley even though he himself originally wanted their endorsements. It appears he knew not whom he sought. Politicians need to go back to seeking the old political endorsements, like labor unions and foreign diplomats instead of religious nuts. You remember, that seperation of church and state thing. Pulpits belong in church not politics.   

 

SUSPECT STEALS POLICE CAR WHILE CUFFED

In Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, a suspect was being transported in a police car to court. He was handcuffed and all the precautions had been taken. At least that’s what they thought. The 24-year-old man got away Thursday when police transporting him to court stopped for a toilet break in the northern Perak state, local police chief Roslan Bek Ahmad said. Along the way, they stopped at a rest area off a highway. Two of the policemen went to the toilet while a third officer remained with the suspect in the car. The suspect overpowered the officer, got behind the wheel and sped away, driving with his hands still cuffed. Clever. Though they set up a roadblock, this guy was determined he was going to get away. After driving against the traffic the police car ran off the road and crashed into a tree. When the police arrived, the man had disappeared. I wish I knew that trick. Next time, go to the bathroom one at a time and leave the guard some backup.

PLUMBING THIEF PLAGUES FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS

In Norristown, Pennsylvania, a new kind of thief has struck with a different concept of take out. His diabolic target is the plumbing at local fast food joints. So far he has hit two McDonalds and several Burger Kings. Jean Morrison, a detective for the East Norriton Township is on the case. This evil genius takes about four minutes to shut off the water to the toilets and urinals and pulls all the pipes out. Morrison thinks the thief might be fencing his take for brass value. She may have gotten a big break in this debilitating crime spree. A survellience camera may have gotten this arch villain on video. Thieves. If it isn’t tied down, wait a minute, these were tied down. I guess nothing’s safe anymore. Not even the plumbing.

TOXIC VOMIT POISONS 54 PEOPLE

Ok, this is really weird. A new trend in Japan, is committing suicide by drinking toxic materials. A man was brought into a hospital in Kumamoto, Japan after drinking a large amount of pesticide. The doctors were trying to pump his stomach when he vomited before dying. The spray was so toxic that it caused 54 doctors, nurses and patients to have breathing problems and sores on their eyes. The emergency room had to be decontaminated and everyone was transferred to a different hospital. Over 50 people have killed themselves this way. Whatever happened to the old method of Japanese suicide, Hari Kari. At least it doesn’t endanger everyone else or turn the place into an environmental hazard.

 

DUAL SCREEN LAPTOP – WHO’S IDEA WAS THIS?

This is one for all you collectors of strange things out there. This is a dual screen laptop that is currently up for auction on Ebay. I’ve never seen anything quite like it and it certainly didn’t go far in the commercial market. The auction says it’s a prototype made by Xentex in 2002, called the Dual Screen Voyager and sold for nearly $5,000! That’s an expensive laptop. The unique thing is that the screen pivots so someone opposite you can look at the screen. The body of it actually folds twice so that it is more compact. I just thought I’d put this up for the annals of the odd, strange and curious.

 

JOHN MCCAIN, DOGGY BEER, SPITTING DEATH, DONKEY JAILED, AND SPORK ART

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 20, 2008 by mclassen

 DOES JOHN MCCAIN BELONG IN AN OLD FOLKS HOME?

During election years we brook a lot of babbling. This year’s clueless award goes to John McCain. This guy is starting to make me think he has Alzheimer’s. Maybe he just stands out in the Arizona sun too long.  Yes he’s got experience and has been around the Washington scene for ages, but that just may be the problem. It’s beginning to appear as if he’s been there too long. Judging from this video, it’s a miracle he can function as a Senator, let alone run the country. Over the weekend Mike Huckabee announced that he’d like to be McCain’s running mate. I bet he would. Maybe he sees what I see, a doddering old man that can’t keep anything straight. Maybe he hopes McCain will overdose on viagra trying to keep up with his younger wife and then get the job by default. If this is the best the Republicans have to offer they need to hang it up altogether. At least Obama and Clinton are entertaining. McCain’s just senile. 

LET’S GO TO THE VIDEO TAPE:

 

DOGGY BEER

An australian compny has come up with a brew for your dog. Don’t taste test this for the dog, it’s beef flavored. Dog Beer, or DB, was designed by Sydney pet supplies store owner Elise Schumacher.  “I have drunk it. It tastes like beef and smells like beer.” OK, it’s not something that I’m putting high on my list. Though, it can’t be worse than Bud Light. She claims to have sold hundreds of them and it is a booming product in her pet store claiming real beer isn’t good for dogs. Her version has no alcohol so you won’t be able to get your dog drunk. That’s no fun. Half the fun of letting him drink beer is to watch him wobble.

MAN SPITS TO HIS DEATH

And the nominee is: After returning to their hotel from visiting the disco district of the Swiss town of Cadempino, a 29-year old man and his friend decided to have a spitting contest. They wanted to see who could spit the farthest from their balcony. The 29-year old came to the hair-brained conclusion he needed to get a running start to get some extra distance. He didn’t stop in time and plunged off the balcony to the street below. He wins! His dying at the hopital officially qualifies him for the coveted Darwin Award. None of the names have been released probably due to embarrassment.

 DONKEY THROWN IN SLAM FOR ASSAULT AND BATTERY

In Tuxtla Gutierrez, Mexico, a donkey has been thrown in jail for assault! The ass ended up in the drunk tank after it bit and kicked two people. Officer Sinar Gomez said the donkey will remain behind bars until its owner agrees to pay the men’s medical bills. “Around here, if someone commits a crime they are jailed,” Gomez said, “no matter who they are.” Actually I think a donkey is more of a what than a who. The owner, Mauro Gutierrez said he would try to reach a friendly arrangement to pay the men’s bills, estimated at $420. The victims said the donkey bit Genaro Vazquez, 63, in the chest on Sunday and then kicked 52-year-old Andres Hernandez as he tried to come to the rescue, fracturing his ankle. What I want to know is what did they do to make it so angry, feed it tequila. It would explain the drunk tank.”All of a sudden, the animal was on top of us like it was rabid,” Hernandez said. Yep, sounds like tequila. Police said it took a half-dozen men to control the enraged burro. Chiapas police have thrown animals in the slammer before, including a bull that devoured corn crops and destroyed two wooden vending stands in March. I bet they had a tough time getting that one in a cell. In 2006, a dog was locked up for 12 days after biting someone. It appears the local cops spend more time chasing livestock than they do real offenders. At least it cures the hot meals problem.

ART FROM PLASTIC CUTLERY

I have to admit, I’ve never looked at a spork and thought, could I turn this into a bug. Now I do admit I’ve looked for bugs where I picked up the spork. 70-year-old Peter Rush makes bug art out of plastic cutlery.  The overhead is cheap, he grabs a handful everytime he goes to McDonalds’s and then heats them up, shapes them into what he wants and then paints them. Voila, bug art. “It started a few years ago, when I turned up to do a workshop with children on endangered species,” he said, “I had forgotten my materials but noticed the plastic spoon in my tea was bending. I made a stag beetle from it and it proved a great success so, after that, I started making other insects.” Rush is from Dorset, England and he has quite a collection of his homemade, plastic creepy crawlers. Certainly art is in the eye of the beholder. Spork art, go figure.

cutlery insects

HILLARY WINS, VELCRO, SEAT BELT BEER, ITALIAN PHOTOGRAPHER, AND MICHAEL MOORE

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2008 by mclassen

HILLARY WINS WEST VIRGINIA WHILE OBAMA SHOOTS POOL

As expected HIllary Clinton won the Democratic Primary by her largest margin so far. Barack Obama conceded the contest even before it took place and spent some time trying to put the eight ball in the corner pocket. He apparently decided to stop off at a West Virginia bar and knock a few balls around with the patrons. It really gives you that workingman’s friend image doesn’t it. Hopefully he was better at that than he was bowling. Next up is Oregon where the candidates will again square off. Clinton picked up at least 15 more delegates with the win and she may get more of the 28 total. Obama is currently trying to set up a late summer/fall tour where he and McCain would appear together so that they could debate side by side, sort of a Barackapalooza.

Obama playing poll

VELCRO MILESTONE!

Today is the 50th anniversary of the most useful substance on earth next to duct tape. It’s velcro and the anniversary was celebrated by employees of the New Hampshire based company lining up on a parade route for a mile and a half for a group rip of velcro. The sound of velcro filled the air as everyone pulled at the same time. There’s a rumor that Velcro USA is working on a silent version. I have to say it just wouldn’t be the same. For me, the rip is part of the appeal. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

AUSTRALIAN DRIVER SEAT BELTS BEER, NOT CHILD

Well we know where this guy’s priorities are, proper care and transportation of the beer. In Darwin, Australia, evolution apparently left this guy behind, a man was fined for buckling in his case of beer instead of his child whom he left sitting on the floor. Save the beer, save the beer. The 30-can beer case was strapped in between two adults sitting in the back seat of the car. The child was also in back, but on the car’s floor. “The child was sitting on the lump in the center, unrestrained,” Constable Wayne Burnett told reporters Tuesday. The car was also unregistered and uninsured. You gotta love those wacky Aussies. It’s always gratifying to know that Americans aren’t the only ones doing stupid things.

MAN PHOTOGRAPHS OVER 3,000 WOMEN’S BUTTS ILLEGALLY

In Venice, Italy, a man was arrested for coming up behind women and then photographing their butts. He carried a hidden camera inside a bag to take photos up women’s short skirts. A 38-year old Italian has been arrested and charged with privacy infringement. Police found DVDs in his possession that contained over 3,000 images of women’s bottoms. I wonder if the guy had an intenet site. Police said he had been filming for around two years. Ah Venice, the city of romance. Seems to me it would have been simpler to pick up a copy of Playboy.

MICHAEL MOORE TURNS UP THE FAHRENHEIT

Michael Moore is at it again. With the disasterous turnout for is last film effort “Sicko,” he is resorting to an older formula by reving up a sequel to “Fahrenheit 9/11.” Once again he returns to slamming George Bush and trying to reveal the corruption and dirty dealings of the Bush Administration post 9/11. Now that Bush is on his way out and has an approval rating that is nearly sub-zero, he figures the time is right. Also Bush is probably an easy target and no one will criticize Moore for slamming him. He can’t afford another movie disaster. I think a sequel to “Fahrenheit” will be as big a flop as “Sicko.” I mean who actually cares. He needs to do something new, fresh and original. Maybe something like how bad Hollywood sequels get made. How about days in the life of a washed up director trying to recapture former glory.