NEW ZEALAND JOSEPH AND MARY BILLBOARD, TATTOO AND GRILLED CHEESE DISCOUNTS, BOOB FLASHING BACKFIRES, and TOOTHPICK STAGECOACH

 Joseph and Mary Christmas Billboard In New Zealand

OK. am I twisted? Because I find this really funny. A billboard sponsored by a local Anglican church that shows Joseph and Mary in bed has set tongues wagging in New Zealand, with the Catholic Church condemning it as others found it funny. The controversial billboard, erected by St Matthew-in-the-City Church in Auckland, shows a dejected-looking Joseph under bedcovers beside a sad Mary. Underneath the image, a caption reads: “Poor Joseph. God is a hard act to follow.” The dude just can’ quite match up to the big guy. Church archdeacon Glynn Cardy said the billboard was intended to lampoon the literal interpretation of the Christmas conception story and highlight the real significance of the festival. “What we’re trying to do is to get people to think more about what Christmas is all about,” Cardy told local media. “Is it about a spiritual male God sending down sperm so a child would be born, or is it about the power of love in our midst as seen in Jesus?” The billboard has so far drawn the ire of the Catholic Church in New Zealand, which called it “inappropriate” and “disrespectful.” It was also condemned as offensive by family values group Family First. You knew they were going to have something to say, didn’t you? “The church can have its debate on the Virgin birth and its spiritual significance inside the church building, but to confront children and fhttp://www.stmatthews.org.nz/nav.php?sid=498&id=999amilies with the concept as a street billboard is completely irresponsible and unnecessary,” Family First director Bob McCoskrie told news website stuff.co.nz. Lighten up. I’d drive by it just for chuckle on my way…well, anywhere. Unfortunately the sign was defaced and covered with brown paint several hours after going up by an offended Kiwi. If you want to read more about this controversy here’s the church’s website: http://www.stmatthews.org.nz/nav.php?sid=498&id=999

Discount for Your Grilled Cheese Tattoo

Got a tattoo of a grilled cheese sandwich? If so this is your lucky day. An Ohio restaurant is offering lifetime discounts to people willing to make an indelible display of their love for grilled cheese sandwiches. Melt Bar & Grilled in the Cleveland suburb of Lakewood specializes in spins on the grilled cheese and says anyone with a tattoo of the classic sandwich will get 25 percent off.  I wonder if it comes with a pickle? The restaurant has hooked up for the promotion with a tattoo shop, which is offering its own discount on grilled cheese designs. See, even if you don’t have one, it’s still your lucky day.  John Forgus of Voodoo Monkey Tattoo says he’s been getting creative, giving one person a tattoo of Popeye holding a grilled cheese sandwich instead of a spinach can. OK, this is officially the strangest business promotion idea I’ve seen. Can I get some cheese and ink please?

Woman Flashing Boobs Struck by Distracted Driver

There’s a certain irony in this story. There’s also bare boobs, drunkeness and mayhem, all the ingredients of the perfect story. Cherelle May Dudfield was struck by a vehicle after she ran out into the road following a dare by friends.  Always a smart move. The 18-year-old had been drinking with her mates when the incident happened, and had to be treated in hospital for cuts she suffered. I told, you alcohol. The teenager was also landed with a $240 fine for disorderly behaviour. “I stood on the centre line, flashed a couple of cars with my boobs, got back in and they [her friends] told me to do it again, so I did,” said Dudfield. “And then I saw a car coming towards me, on the middle of the centre lane driving up towards me, so I decided to run. And then I got hit.” See, boobs and mayhem. To demonstrate exactly how silly she had been, she later re-enacted her stunt for a TV station – but this time she was fully sober, and no one crashed. Yea, let’s recreate this, only on video, to see if we can cause another accident.  And Dudfield also gave a repeat performance to cows on her farm. Cows on her farm? Why is she flashing cows? Has she been running in the wrong social circles? Was one of her friends that dared her named Elsie? or Bossie?  However, police officers did not see the funny side of her exposure, which happened in the small New Zealand town of Invercargill. “This was obviously an alcohol- involved offense,” said Olaf Jensen, of Invercargill Police. “This girl put herself at risk with the actions she undertook, not only herself, but the motorists on the road.” Leave it to these investigative geniuses to get right to the heart of the matter.  Hey Olaf, quick thinking there.

Building a Life-size Stagecoach From Toothpicks

When I first saw this, I thought, OK, tiny model made out of toothpicks, let’s check it out.  I never dreamed it would be full size. Terry Woodling spent 15 years creating the Wells Fargo replica using wooden sticks and glue. Known as Mr Toothpick, he made models for years but this was his most ambitious project.It cost him more than $1400 but the model was bought for $160,000 by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! “I never kept track of the hours I spent working on it, only the years,” said the 72-year-old from Warsaw, Indiana. Amazing.

PRINCESS EUGENIE HIGH JINKS, NAME CHANGE, BEN STILLER VIRAL VIDEO, AND MARCUS VICK TROUBLE

PRINCESS EUGENIE CAUGHT RUNNING NAKED AND DRUNK

It seems that teenagers of the British royal monarchy aren’t immune to some wild and crazy college antics. Princess Eugenie, god that’s an awful name, the 18-year-old daughter of Prince Andrew, Duke of York, and Sarah Ferguson, was apprehended for her involvement in end of term “high jinks” at the exclusive Marlborough College, west of London. Yes they are actually terming it “High Jinks.” Leave it to the Brits. A royal source told the Press Association: “It was nothing more than high jinks at the end of term in May. A group of them were reprimanded and that’s the end of the matter.” Not quite. Those of us in the media that find these things endlessly humorous tend to sit back and make sure our readers get to see the fun as well. A college staff member was woken by playful shrieks and found several young women dancing around without clothes. There was no suggestion boys were present or that drugs were involved, but a pupil said the students had been drinking. Nothing like a good college party to pitch the inhibitions. I can see it now, a new video, Princess Gone Wild. Eugenie is suppossed to be attending the Queen’s birthday celebration this weekend. You can bet what the topic of conversation’s going to be. Naked, drunk and in the tabloids, thanks for the birthday present.

 

MAN CHANGES NAME TO “IN GOD WE TRUST.”

Hi, My name is In God, What’s yours? A school bus driver and amateur artist from the Chicago suburb of Zion has legally changed his name to “In God We Trust.” A Lake County circuit court judge approved Steve Kreuscher’s name change petition on Friday. This is one that simply should have been turned down. The man, formerly known as Steve, had his first name changed to “In God,” while his last name was changed to “We Trust.”  He says the new name symbolizes the help God gave him during tough times and says he can’t wait to begin signing his artwork with the new moniker. Wait until he tries to cash a check or sign a credit card slip. Good luck with that. 

BEN STILLER CREATES A VIRAL VIDEO…WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM HIS FRIENDS!

MARCUS VICK IN TROUBLE – I WANNA BE LIKE MIKE

What is it with this family? Does everybody just like the idea of being incarcerated? Now Michael Vick’s younger brother Marcus is in trouble…again. I guess he wants to join his brother on his prison football team since the Miami Dolphins dropped him like a hot potato. Police said a uniformed bicycle patrol officer observed Vick and a female involved in an altercation in a car around 2 a.m. The officer asked if his assistance was needed, then asked Vick for his driver’s license. Police say Vick then sped away, but was stopped minutes later. Vick failed a field sobriety test and was charged with DUI, misdemeanor eluding police, reckless driving, driving on the wrong side of the road and driving on a suspended license. The passenger, Delicia Cordon of Miami, Fla., was charged with being drunk in public. Where does any of this sound fun? Another promising football career shot in the butt, I guess there’s little else. I just don’t get these guys. Both of them had it made and they just threw it away. It doesn’t say much for their IQ.

MARTIAN DISCOVERY, MRS EIFFEL TOWER, PORTA-JOHN MISHAP, DERRIE-AIR, AND DWI COOLER

STRANGE WHITE CRAP FOUND ON MARS

Is this what we paid billions of dollars to find? A bunch of white crap on the surface of Mars. For god’s sake let’s get on with it. Either send somebody there or give it up. Scientists say this could be salt. Yippee, we found seasonings. The Lawrys corporation should be thrilled. “Salt would be very interesting because that’s what is left behind as water evaporates. That would be a very nice discovery, particularly if we knew exactly which salts they were,” principal investigator Peter Smith said. Why, so you can decide between pork or beef? The scientists are eager to find evidence of water on the surface of Mars because they are trying to determine if the Red Planet has ever supported life. Does that really matter? It doesn’t any more. It’s not going to be a sunny vacation spot. I’m not going to be impressed until some Martian creature walks up and kicks the lander. Then I’ll be impressed. After that, I want to know if there’s enough of them to have a hunting season. The lander has already returned the highest-resolution pictures ever taken of dust and sand on the surface of another planet. What an accomplishment. Dirt. We knew that already. Colored dirt. We knew that too. There you go, billions to probe the deepest, darkest, dirtiest secrets of Mars with a little salt thrown on it. Stay tuned for more startling revelations from paradise. 

WOMAN MARRIES THE EIFFEL TOWER 

San Francisco, California resident, Erika La Tour Eiffel, yes, that is her real name, married the Eiffel Tower. Her strange relationship with the architectural icon is the subject of a documentary, The Woman Who Married the Eiffel Tower; the documentary also stars the wife of the Berlin Wall whom we featured here a while back. There’s nothing like giving these folks a little TV time to validate their weirdness. I guess every landmark needs someone to love. There’s nothing like a cold steel rail.

DRUNK, NAKED AND STUCK IN A PORT-A-JOHN

People endlessly amaze me but how they get into some situations is completely baffling. Take this story for instance. Police in Lebanon, Pennsyvania get a 911 call from a cell phone that has originated inside a porta-potty. A man has gotten himself stuck inside. Lock jammed? No. For some unfathomable reason he has gotten naked, is drunk and has immerssed himself in the holding tank. Deputy fire commissioner Chris Miller said “I’ve been on the job in one form or fashion for 21 years, and this is the first porta-potty rescue I’ve ever had.” Police charged the man with public drunkeness and creating a health code violation, but they have no idea why he was in the toilet with his clothes off. I hope they hosed him off before they threw him in the cell.

FLY DERRIE-AIR

 Derrie-Air the new airline that charges you by the pound. The more you weigh the more you pay. Yes, under the guise of being environmentally friendly, this advetisment for a new airline has been circulating around the east coast. Well, It’s a joke folks. The airline doesn’t exist and you reservations have been cancelled.  It was an ad campaign to see how people respond to certain types of advertising. So it looks like you won’t be flying by the seat of your pants on this one.

BUSTED DRIVING MOTORIZED COOLER DRUNK

Did you know that you could get arrested for driving your cooler after consuming too much of what’s inside? Well it is true believe it or not. Yes you can get arrested for driving your motorized cooler drunk. Leslie J. “Bomber” Marr learned this the hard way when he was arrested on Memorial Day in Whitehall, NY and charged with DWI and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle. Police saw him swerving around the streets and driving on the sidewalk on a cooler. Cruizin Coolers are becoming the newest rage in summer time transportation. Yes, you can drive you beverages to your favorite beach.  It even has a hatch so you can pull out a icy cold drink while driving. That’s where the trouble begins. The hatch also has a cup/can holder on top, suggesting that this sort of activity is exactly what the designers had in mind. Not much of a leap in deduction there. Under state law, the cooler is still considered a motor vehicle so sobriety is a must, and a license is highly recommended. Do they have driving tests for a cooler? Do they have a special cooler driver’s license? Buzz around buzzed carrying your buzz. There’s a certain beauty in that.

PROM PROPOSALS, LSD, AND DUCT TAPE

THIS IS OUR PREMIER POST, SO WE HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT WE’RE GOING TO DO HERE.

This is only a small sample of what we will be doing here. We’ll be presenting little tidbits of the world around us. Some of it will be serious and some of it will make you smile and laugh.  Bookmark us and keep coming back.

ALBERT HOFFMAN DIES AT 102

Albert Hoffman, creator of LSD died. This is the man without whom the 60’s would never have happened. Let’s all throw on a little Jim Morrison on honor of this monumental passing. At 102 he certainly had a long strange trip.

IMPROVE YOUR BRAIN POWER!

A study out from the University of Michigan says training can improve your brain power. Isn’t that the state where a group of LaCrosse players just asked a girl out to the prom by writing the request on their bare asses. It seems they didn’t get the memo.

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME THIS MAN HASN’T REPRODUCED!