Archive for Newburgh

MARTHA STEWART FAIL, CHOPPER UFO CHASE, WOODEN ELECTRIC CAR, WEIRDO IN THE COUCH, ROBOT GIRLFRIENDS, TRONS, AND STAR WARS DANCERS

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 21, 2008 by mclassen

 MARTHA STEWART BANNED, DENIED, NO GO TO BRITAIN

Ah the old ghost comes back to haunt. The Queen of whatever it is she does, Martha Stewart, has seen the old ghost of her past rise before her eyes once again. The woman who had no life and made a carreer out of it is visiting Poland where they are launching a version of her “Martha Stewart Living” magazine in Polish. She thought she’d stop by the British Isles on her way home. Wrong, fail, not going to happen. Apparently, the British powers that be don’t appreciate her prison record and have denied her a visa  to enter the country. I guess she won’t be showing the queen how to make paper flowers this time around.  “Martha loves England; the country and English culture are near and dear to her heart,” said Charles Koppelman, chairman of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia. “She has engagements with English companies and business leaders and hopes this can be resolved so that she will be able to visit soon.” I guess they will just have to come to her back in the good old U.S. of A. A British spokeswoman, however, refused to comment about Stewart’s entry to Britain, but added: “We continue to oppose the entry to the U.K. of individuals where we believe their presence in the United Kingdom is not conducive to the public good or where they have been found guilty of serious criminal offenses abroad.” Ouch. That’s going to leave a mark. Now for those of you that have been living under the proverbial rock here’s a recap. In 2004, Stewart was convicted in federal court of conspiracy, obstruction of justice and making false statements related to a personal sale of ImClone Systems Inc. stock. She got a five-month prison sentence, and also served an additional five months and three weeks of home confinement. Well, Martha, I guess it sucks for you. Welcome back to the real world where we all live with our mistakes. No crumpets for you.

Martha Stewart

 

HELICOPTER PURSUES UFO

In England a police helicopter spotted a flying saucer and decided to give chase. If UFOs can outrun a jet, did the police really think they had a chance in a chopper? The mystery aircraft zoomed straight at the chopper as the three-man cop crew prepared to land. Tag, you’re it. The pilot was forced to bank sharply to avoid being hit by the mystery aircraft as the helicopter was returning to the Ministry of Defence base of St Athan, near Cardiff. Maybe it was another of those infamous secret experimental military aircraft. The three crew described the UFO as ‘flying saucer-shaped’. They gave chase, getting as far as the North Devon coast before they ran low on fuel. “They are convinced it was a UFO. It sounds far-fetched, but they know what they saw.” Said an unnamed source. Why do these people always refuse to give their name? I don’t know how far-fetched it sounds these days. These things are appearing almost daily. I wish one would land and say “Hi,” but then sombody would probably shoot at it.

WOODEN ELECTRIC CAR UNVEILED

What would Henry Ford think if he saw this? A driver takes a prototype wooden electric car for a spin after it was unveiled in Kyoto, Japan. The buggy, which has bamboo-weave doors, has a range of six miles and can hit 30mph. It kind of reminds me of a golf cart. It would be great for putting around town.

wooden car

WEIRDO HIDES IN COUCH

It is amazing to what extent some people will go through to be weird. Police say a New York man cut a hole in a woman’s couch and hid in the carved-out space until she came home.  Newburgh police said the woman sat on the couch Wednesday evening and felt a bump in the cushions move.  That would be really creepy. She jumped up and David Joe Limones emerged from his hiding place, knocking a cell phone out of her hand. Surprise. A jack-in-box in the couch. The woman was on the phone with a friend when she entered her apartment because she had filed an earlier complaint against Limones and was worried he might be there. She was obviously much smarter than he was. Police said she had asked the friend to stay on the line and call police if something went wrong. When officers arrived, they found Limones and the 22-year-old woman arguing on the apartment’s balcony. Hopefully they can put this cat away, but somehow I suspect this will only be temporary fix for this guy.

SEGA ROBOT GIRLFRIEND

Feeling lonely, can’t get a girl, tired of coming home to the hamster. Well Sega has come up with an idea to help you out. It’s a pixie-size robotic girlfriend with a big chest who will kiss on command. Android love baby. The petite lady, known as “EMA” (an acronym for Eternal Maiden Actualization), runs on batteries and will hit stores in September with a price of about $175. It’s a lot cheaper than a real girlfriend. “Strong, tough and battle-ready are some of the words often associated with robots, but we wanted to break that stereotype and provide a robot that’s sweet and interactive,” Sega spokesperson Minako Sakanoue said. “She’s very lovable and though she’s not a human, she can act like a real girlfriend.” Well let’s not carry it too far. She’s only 15 inches high. It’s more like a pucker up Barbie, except she looks like the Joan Rivers android in Spaceballs. When EMA’s sensors detect a nearby human head, she puckers up for a kiss, designers call this her “love mode.” How wonderfully…weird. Well, if nothing else, she suppossedly does a song and dance too. Really, I’m not kidding. EMA should be available by Christmas, batteries not included.

Sega's new Eternal Maiden Actualisation robot enters 'love mode' when a human head gets close. Photo / Reuters

TRONS – ROBOT BAND: I guess we don’t need musicians any more.

 
STAR WARS DANCE-A-THON
 

TRAFFIC TICKET SURCHARGE, WEDDING BELL BRAWLS, CONTROLLING WEATHER, PYTHON GUARD SNAKE, AND HULA HOOP ANNIVERSARY

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 19, 2008 by mclassen

 POLICE PAYING FOR GAS THROUGH TRAFFIC TICKETS

The police have found a way to add insult to injury. Are you ready for this? They’re going to tack on a surcharge to your traffic tickets to help pay for the gas. I thought my taxes already did that. Now they’re going to get us coming and going. That’s exactly what they’re doing in Holly Springs, Georgia and if this works, it won’t be long and others will follow their shining example. Drivers caught speeding in this north Atlanta suburb soon will have to pay an extra $12 – to cover $4-a-gallon gas costs for the police officers who stop them. The City Council passed the fee hike, effective July 1, to offset fuel prices that have eaten up nearly 60% of the police department’s 2008 fuel budget, Police Chief Ken Ball says. I suppose all those frivilous stops at the donut shop don’t mean anything do they? He expects the fee increase, which applies to all moving violations and can be rescinded if gas prices fall below $3 a gallon, to generate $19,500 to $26,000 a year for the town of 7,700. Ball says he was seeking ways to maintain patrols despite record high gas prices. “I was hearing that Delta Air Lines, pizza deliverers, florists were adding fuel charges to their services, and I thought, why not police departments?” he says. Well, unlike those commercial businesses, police departments are tax funded so they are suppossed to stay within their budgets. Other cities could follow. Ball says he’s being “inundated” by calls from police chiefs and city managers. “I’ve heard from at least a dozen police chiefs and half a dozen city managers,” he says of the measure passed Monday night. “They want to know how we did it, and could we send them a copy of the ordinance.” See, I said this would spread like a bad virus. Tell me this isn’t going to make them work for their ticket quotas. I can see now how they will be telling the car patrols to make sure they hand out enough to cover their costs. “Get out there, be safe and bring in lots of money. 

Policeman and motorists

WHEN WEDDINGS GO BAD

This reminds me of the old westerns where someone throws one puch and then everybody gets in on the act.In Newburgh, New York, a dispute over a camera at a wedding party turned into a 100-person melee which spilled into the parking lot outside of the Ramada Inn where it was being held. Two people were treated at a hospital afterward for stab wounds including the disc jockey who was stabbed in the back of the neck. Tough gig, you should’ve played better music. Another man received treatment after being punched in the face. Cops from the Town and the City of Newburgh, New Windsor, Montgomery, Walden and state police responded, and Talarico says it took nearly two hours for police to restore order. “It just kept going on and on,” said Town of Newburgh Police Sgt. Peter Talarico. “It was a wedding party gone bad.” Cops say they broke up over 30 individual fights among the party guests, and arrested six people at the end of the night. Talarico said there will be no further investigation, because no one at the scene was cooperating with police. It doesn’t sound like they were even cooperating with themselves. Well this is interesting kharma for starting out your new life together. I’d hate to be there at the divorce.

 CONTROLLING WEATHER – BAD IDEA

It’s a holiday in Russia. Rain would be a no-no and would put a damper on all the festivities. What do you do? Let’s make it rain now so we get a nice day for the holiday. Right? Well, “A pack of cement used in creating … good weather in the capital region … failed to pulverize completely at high altitude and fell on the roof of a house, making a hole about 80-100cm,” police in Naro-Fominsk told agency RIA-Novosti. Oops, guess we screwed up with that one. Ahead of major public holidays the Russian Air Force often dispatches up to 12 cargo planes carrying loads of silver iodide, liquid nitrogen and cement powder to seed clouds above Moscow and empty the skies of moisture. Ok, doesn’t this mean that immediately thereafter it’s raining cement? Now it’s raining bags of cement.  June 12 was Russia Day, a patriotic holiday celebrating the country’s independence after the break-up of the Soviet Union. Stick to fireworks and hope for the best like we do. Cement? Bad idea.

PYTHONS MAKE BAD GUARD DOGS

“Sick ’em” deos not work for a snake. In Bridgeport, England, police were called when they received a report that Victor Rodriquez was threatening his girlfriend with a reptile. Is there such a thing as assault with a reptile?  Police Lt. James Viadero says that when the building superintendent opened the apartment door for the officers, Rodriguez allegedly threatened them with the snake and told it to “Get them!” The snake apparently saw no value in this since there was no live mice involved. Rodriguez and his pet were both taken away, Rodriguez to jail on a $10,000 bond, and the albino python to the city’s animal control shelter. They are no charges pending against the snake since he went quietly and refused to be an accomplice.

HULA HOOPS TURN 50

June 18 was the 50th anniversary on one of the funnest and most frustrating toys ever invented, the HUla Hoop. Those who learned to do it well were the envy of all those like me that threw our backs out of joint trying. I felt that my back and the hula hoop deserved this recognition.