GEORGE BUSH HONORED, NORTH POLE DRUNK ON LAWNMOWER, OBAMA MONKEY GOD ENDORSEMENT, FAKE COP, AND GOODWILL TREASURE

 PRESIDENT BUSH HONORED

There have been many ways and ideas to honor past Presidents when there terms are over. A reward of sorts for what we think of their service to the nation. If a San Francisco group has its way, there could be the George W. Bush Sewage Plant, according to The New York Times. A group called the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco has been collecting signatures to rename the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant after Bush upon his exit from office next year. This must be a reflection of Bush’s staunch environmental stands. The plan, conceived in a bar, not much of a surprise there, would place a vote on the November ballot to offer “an appropriate honor for a truly unique president,” the group told the Times. Supporters said that they have enough signatures to qualify the measure. It probably only took about an hour. Surely an idea of this quality can’t fail. Whether it is successful or not, the group wants supporters to participate in a “synchronized flush” when the new president is inaugurated on Jan. 20 to send a flood of water toward the plant. Wash away the old, bring in the new.

MAN ARRESTED AT NORTH POLE FOR DRIVING LAWNMOWER DRUNK

I’m not sure how this happens since I didn’t know they had lawns that far north, but in North Pole, Alaska, Wyatt Lewis has been arrested for driving a lawnmower drunk. Alaskan State Troopers received a call early on Sunday complaining of an intoxicated man driving a mower. When they tried to stop him, he led them on a low-speed chase. The chase lasted about 61 metres and reached speeds of up to 5 mph before a trooper got out of a cruiser and told the man to stop. I’m betting that was a tough arrest. They said Wyatt Lewis’s blood-alcohol content was 0.18 per cent, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08 per cent. There’s nothing like drinking and lawnmowing. Is there really grass up there? I thought it was all tundra or something…perpetual ice and snow. Why does someone even own a lawnmower? Driving a lawnmower while drunk qualifies for a driving under the influence charge in the US. Lewis was also charged with failure to stop at the direction of a peace officer. He allegedly led them on a pursuit that covered several lawns. Maybe he was trying to be nice and give his neighbors’ lawns a trim too. Apparently, trying to outrun a cop on a lawnmower is illegal too. Don’t Drink and mow.

 OBAMA PICKS UP DIETY ENDORSEMENT

Politicians like to get endorsements from influential figures, but the gods themselves? A dozen priests have been chanting around a sacred fire in New Dehli as a group of Indians offered prayers to the Hindu monkey god Hanuman to grant victory to Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama. Isn’t this the same God we reported on a couple of weeks ago that the made the head of a college? Apparently he’s getting around. Several dozen people attended the prayers held at a Hanuman temple saying they believed an Obama victory would bring positive change around the world. This takes getting religion on your side to a whole new level. Local businessman Brij Mohan Bhama, who organised the event, said a victory would be good for India and the rest of world “because he stands for change” and would help stem growing “price rises, poverty and terrorism.” “We have heard that he carries a small monkey charm in his pocket. So he is a devotee of Hanuman. That’s why we want to present him with this idol,” he said. Well Barack, now that you’ve got the Monkey God in your corner, what’s next, walking on bananas? 

COP TURNS OUT TO BE PRETENDER

In the town of Gerald, Missouri a police officer was hired that really wasn’t a cop. Bill Jakob, had a badge and a gun, and he told officials he had previously worked as an anti-drug agent in Illinois. He even drove a fully equipped Ford Crown Victoria, which he said was for undercover work. Guess what? He was lying. The 36-year-old man was an unemployed truck driver with a criminal record and had recently filed for bankruptcy. Oops. Big Oops. So big that now the Gerald police force is in deep doo doo. Now this village is confronting allegations that Jakob and other officers mistreated and robbed many of the people they arrested. At least 17 people have sued, and Jakob is in jail awaiting charges. At least he’s off the street now. Doesn’t this mean that everyone he arrested and were convicted had a mistrial.Complaints about Jakob’s rough treatment of suspects led a reporter from the Gasconade County Republican newspaper to ask the sheriff about the new officer. That’s when they discovered he was an imposter. Gerald Mayor Otis Schulte defended Jakob’s hiring, saying: “He had credentials. He had a badge. He had a phone number to call for verification. I don’t know what else we could have done.” Don’t they do background checks?  Maybe a little peek into their own database. You’d think that criminal record might have popped up. It would have saved them lots of grief.

PAINTING LEFT A GOODWILL STORE SELLS FOR BIG MONEY

Somtimes it pays to look through those thrift stores. You never know what might turn up. The Parisian street scene, what was thought to be a piece of junk art, left at a store in Maryland last March along with daily donations of pots, pans, old clock radios and other items, turned out to be a work by Edouard-Leon Cortes, probably from the early 20th century. In other words, a serious collector’s item, a museum piece. The painting, called “Marche aux fleurs” or “Flower Market,” was sold for $40,600 at a Sotheby’s auction a few weeks ago. I guess they missed that one on the Antiques Roadshow. “It could have very easily ended up put in a pile, marked for $20,” says Ursula Villar, marketing and development director for Goodwill Industries of the Chesapeake Inc. Store manager Terri Tonelli said employees asked her to look at the donated painting because they suspected it was valuable. She found the artist’s name on Google and discovered that Cortes was a notable French Impressionist whose work had sold at auction for prices near $60,000. You gotta love google. If the owner of the painting wants the money, too bad. You blew it.  Goodwill says it doesn’t keep track of donors. Donations, meanwhile, are gifts that are considered legal and final transactions. Look at the bright side, it went to a good cause. It pays to pay attention to what you’re throwing away.

CAPTAIN CALAMITY INDEPENDENCE, MY INTERVIEW, COPS CRAZY RIDE, SOCCER PLAYER BITES REFEREE, AND DWARF SOCCER TEAM

STUART HILL DECLARES SHETLAND ISLAND INDEPENDENCE

The Shetland Islands off the coast of Scotland are part of the United Kingdom. Or are they. Stuart Hill doesn’t believe they are and is moving to set up his 2.5 acre Forvik Island, he’s the only resident, as an independent dependency. I know this sounds crazy but, it may just be crazy like a fox. Follow me here for a minute.  Captain Calamity, as he’s also known, because he shipwrecked on the island and never left, has been doing some research. Hill’s claim dates back to a 15th century arrangement between the Norwegian King Christian and King James III of Scotland when the Shetland Islands were effectively pawned to King James in lieu of a marriage dowry. According to Hill’s studies of the history of the island, in 1669 King Charles II re-confirmed Shetland’s status at the time of the pawning, meaning the islands remained directly answerable to the crown — represented today by the Queen. “The monarchs and governments of Scotland, and Great Britain and the United Kingdom have for many years assumed powers over these islands of Shetland to which they were not entitled,” he wrote. “By declaring Forvik a crown dependency I am simply re-establishing the correct legal relationship between this part of Shetland and the crown.” Now, here’s the crazy like a fox part of the deal. You see, there’s oil in them there waters. North sea oil and it’s in the Shetland’s boundary waters. If Hill can get the rest of the Shetland’s to join with him and they succeed, all of those oil revenues would go into the independent coffers of the islands and not Britain! Mr Hill said Shetland would reap all the benefits from North Sea oil if the 22,000 strong island community follow his example. “If the oil revenues would go straight into a Shetland bank, the isles would be in a totally different position. Once we have established the ownership of the seabed around Shetland, we can go to the oil companies and tell them where to bring the oil ashore. It is our oil.The worst thing that could happen is that people just ignore me. But I think I am sufficiently abrasive from this position for people to take note and to realise that the advantages of what I am doing could be very attractive to Shetland as a whole. Soon after I arrived in Shetland I started researching the isles’ constitutional position. It is the kind of job Shetlanders simply are not interested in, but I am hopeful they will be interested when they see the advantages that it can bring.” He says on his website that he plans to create Forvik’s own currency, the “gulde” print his own stamps and raise his own flag. “There will be no income tax, VAT (value added tax), council tax, corporation tax, or any of the other taxes instituted by the British government,” Hill wrote. Crazy Idea? I’m not so sure. You say you want a revolution? You may just have one. http://www.forvik.com 

 

TOOTING MY OWN HORN

I was tagged for an interview request as a blogger. I’ve been interviewed before as a writer but this is the first time for blogging. I was sent a comment through this blog requesting the interview from the Pakistani Spectator who was doing a series on bloggers and blogging. They sent me a list of questions to which they printed the answers unedited! Being a writer I’m more used to being edited than not and I’m always a bit surprised when things appear untouched. The interview can be found here: http://www.pakspectator.com/interview-with-blogger-mclassen/ for those that might be interested. There are also several other interviews with bloggers here as well, each with some interesting perspectives on blogging. Check it out and find out a little more about who’s behind the blogs.

 DRUNK DRIVER TAKES COP FOR RIDE OF HIS LIFE

This sounds like something you would see in a bad action movie. Picture this, a drunk Russian driver is careening down the street. He hits a traffic cop clipping him on the arm. Not a good idea. The cop somehow grabs onto the car and clings onto the car roof. They continue on down the street like this. Now, this must have been one together cop because he managed to get out his gun, fire off eight shots and still hang onto the car. Now that’s talent baby. The driver stopped finally after the cop fired off the rounds. They had driven a little over a half-mile like this. Of course the driver has been arrested. The cop sustained only minor injuries to his arm.

SOCCER PLAYER BITES REFEREE

It appears that some people take their game play way too seriously. Rannord A. Jones who plays for a Newark, Delaware soccer team  was red flagged by a referee. The two got into a name calling altercation which resulted in Jones attacking the Ref. He bit him on the chin causing considerable injury. Shades of Mike Tyson. There’s nothing like a little good sportsmanship. Police charged Jones with several offenses, including assault and terroristic threatening. Said Police Cpl. Trinidad Navarro, “The player was so enraged that he just savagely attacked the official, biting him almost in an animal manner about the chin.” I hope Jones has had his rabies shots. Hopefully we won’t be seeing him playing in any more games.

GIANTS OF THE NORTH, BRAZILIAN DWARF SOCCER TEAM

HILLARY AND KENNEDY, EBAY CHILD AUCTION, INDIANA JONES BAN, AND VINCE YOUNG APOLOGY

 HILLARY CLINTON’S FOOT IN MOUTH DISEASE

 It’s amazing how quickly a slip of the tongue will come back and haunt you. John Lennon knew about that when he made his comment that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus. Well, Hillary Clinton is the newest victim of the dreaded foot in mouth disease. The media has been running wild with her comment about the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy. She may have effectively hung herself politically. That would be too bad. She’s a fighter. Her go down swinging attitude I find refreshing. For those of you that have been living in a cave and have no idea of what I’m talking about, here’s the instant replay. Responding to a question from the Sioux Falls Argus Leader editorial board about calls for her to drop out of the race, she said: “My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. You know I just, I don’t understand it,” she said, dismissing the idea of abandoning the race. Clinton said she didn’t understand why, given this history, some Democrats were calling for her to quit. Of course, upon realizing she’d said something stupid, she immediately apologized, citing the Kennedy’s were on her mind because of Massachusett’s Senator Edward Kennedy having been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Right now, Clinton supporters are fleeing like rats deserting the proverbial sinking ship. I find it ironic that she holds Robert F. Kennedy’s former seat in New York. It will also be ironic that in a family that has always held the Kennedy’s in such high esteem that it should be Hillary’s downfall. Bill had always claimed that JFK was his hero and during his campaign that picture of him meeting JFK when he was a boy was everywhere. I think maybe she should simply claim a momentary lapse of reason. We all have them. Like Flip Wilson used to say: “The Devil made me do it, The Devil made me do it.” “Doctor, you’re wanted in surgery, Mrs. Clinton needs her foot removed from her mouth.” Foot in mouth, debilitating politicians since the beginning of time.

PARENTS TRY TO SELL CHILD ON EBAY

Well, Ebay has become the place for strange auctions. A couple from Berlin, Germany has put their 7 month old boy up for auction for one Euro, about $1.57. Peter Hieber, a spokesman for police in the Bavarian town of Krumbach, said the baby was placed in the care of youth services, although the child’s mother insisted the ad was only a joke. It’s not much of a joke if you ask me. Authorities have launched an investigation into possible child trafficking against the baby’s mother and father, neither of whom was identified. “Offering my nearly new baby for sale, as it has gotten too loud. It is a male baby, nearly 28 inches long and can be used either in a baby carrier or a stroller,” police quoted the Ebay listing. I wonder how much shipping was. No offers were made for the child in the two hours and 30 minutes the ad was posted on Tuesday. I’m surprised, that was a pretty cheap price for a rugrat. Ebay later deleted the posting, but assisted police in tracking down the parents. I wonder what Ebay policy this one violated.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISTS CALL FOR BAN ON NEW INDIANA JONES MOVIE

Not everyone is a fan of the new Indiana Jones movie. Members of the Russian Communist party are calling for a ban on the film because of Cate Blanchett’s portrayal of a 1950’s KGB agent. Russian Communist Party members condemned the new “Indiana Jones” film on Friday as crude, anti-Soviet propaganda that distorts history. Ya think? I’ve never looked to an Indiana Jones movie for a history lesson.  “What galls is how together with America we defeated Hitler, and how we sympathized when Bin Laden hit them. But they go ahead and scare kids with Communists. These people have no shame,” said Viktor Perov, a Communist Party member in Russia‘s second city of St. Petersburg. Can you say, over-reacting? The film, was released in Russian cinemas on Thursday. Russian media said it was being shown on 808 screens, the widest ever release for a Hollywood movie. Well, a controversy never hurts to get folks into the theater. This could score a lot of rubles for Indy. I wonder what Harrison Ford sounds like in Russian. Do their lips sync or are they like those old martial arts movies from the 60’s.  

 

VINCE YOUNG APOLOGIZES – KIND OF

Because of pressure about the party pictures of him all over the internet, including this site, Vince Young has apologized, sort of. Vince apologizes thusly:”I apologize to some of the kids if they did see it because I am trying to be a role model for them. But at the same time, I was just trying to have fun with (friends). That is the life of a quarterback, somebody of my status. I guess somebody was trying to make some money and sold the picture to the web site. But at the same time that is the life I chose to live. But it is not going to stop me from having fun. I just have to watch myself. They always want to try and get some negative pub on me. It wasn’t really nothing bad. … Everybody deserves to have a good time every once in a while during the offseason.” Let’s see, every once in a while. Let’s check the QB’s schedule, shall we?
Vince Young’s White Tee Party @ the ROC Wednesdays – 5.14.08
Vince Young’s Invite Only Pool Party at the Westside Tennis Club – 5.15.08
Vince Young’s Birthday Weekend KickOff Party & Premiere of the iBar – 5.16.08
Vince, Shawn Marion & Jevon Kearse host Baby Blue Carpet Affair @ Club Level – 5.17.08
Vince Young Bday BBQ Cookout & Daytime party at the Red Door – 5.18.08
Lil Wayne, Lloyd, Mannie Fresh, Lil Keke at Vince Young Bday Bash at BAR RIO – 5.18.08
Looks to me like every once in a while is every day. Liver transplant for Vince Young. Liver Transplant for Vince Young. If you follow the links above you can get a look at each one of the parties. They were careful not to show Vince actually drinking this time, but one actually shows the cops arriving at the Baby Blue Carpet Affair though you have to go through 10 pages of pics to get to it. Getting in shape for the pre-season, eh Vince.