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SHAKESPEARE’S CURSE, HARD ROCK BEAR, SHARON STONE, NUDE MAID, AND MILLION DOLLAR TOY

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2008 by mclassen

 SHAKESPEARE’S CURSE

Old Bill Shakespeare may have taken himself too seriously. He laid a curse on his own grave in an effort to keep himself from being dug up. It’s said he penned it himself. He probably didn’t want to turn up as Yorick’s skull in Hamlet. The curse goes like this and is placed at the head of his grave: “Blest be the man that spares these stones, And curst be he that moves my bones.” Which brings us to the current problem. The old bard’s grave needs rennovation. The stones above his grave have started flaking from four hundred years of traffic in the Holy Trinity Church in Stratford-Upon-Avon. A work order has been issued that says “fix the stones but don’t touch the bones. “We’re avoiding the curse,” said Josephine Walker, a spokeswoman for the Friends of Shakespeare’s Church group. “We are not lifting the stones, we are not looking underneath, and the curse is for the bones underneath, so the curse is irrelevant for this work.” “It’s our wish that we conserve this without anyone knowing we were there,” said architect Ian Stainburn, who is working on the project. “We want to conserve it as it is and slow down the natural process of decay but we don’t want to recut it. It’s really a challenge.” I bet it is, especially if you’re trying not to anger a ghost. I can see where it would be difficult to work with a ghost quoting olde English pentameter at you all day. “We get 100,000 tourists a year, but they don’t walk on the stones,” Walker said. “But the clergy have to when they give communion, and the stones are flaking away, the surfaces are coming off. Shakespeare was baptised in the church in1564. Hopefully things will go well and Shakespeare will remain where he is, but then again, it might be interesting having William wandering around. “Bubble, Bubble, toil and trouble…”

 

BEAR VACATIONS AT HARD ROCK HOTEL

At Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida, a black bear was seen taking a dip in the pool at the Hard Rock Hotel. Bears like to vacation too.  A security guard called police when he spotted the bear on one of his video monitors. I guess the bear didn’t have a reservation. The animal then proceeded to roam the grounds sight-seeing and in general enjoying himself. There’s no report on how he rated the hotel pool or the service. The hotel has not been evacuated and the black bear is still vacationing somewhere in the vicinity. Maybe he went to see if he could catch a couple of the rides. It’s the off season in Florida and he shouldn’t have to wait in line too long.

 SHARON STONE PRIS?

Has anyone noticed how Sharon Stone looks like the Darryl Hannah character, Pris the psychotic android from Blade Runner? Why would anyone look like that on purpose? That’s karma Sharon!

Sharon Stone Banned From China

NUDE MAID CLEANS OUT HOUSE

 I know it’s hard to believe but once in a while, when you get something off the internet, it just might be a scam. Hmm, imagine that. That’s what happened to a man in Tampa, Florida. His wife was away, so he thought he’d play. He hired a maid off a website that would come to his house and clean it in the nude. She cost $100 an hour. Sheriff’s office spokeswoman Debbie Carter said the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean. It appears he had only hired her for the show. When his wife returned home, she discovered $40,000 worth of jewelry had run off with the maid. I bet he’s in some deep do-do. Some guys you just can’t leave by themselves.

PERSIAN RELIC FOUND IN SHOE BOX

If you have an old shoe box under your bed, check it. You might get lucky. That’s what happened to John Webber. He remembered and old cup his grandfather gave him to play with when he was a kid and decided to see if it was worth something. The first estimates are placing the value of his childhood toy at a cool million dollars. He assumed the golden cup, which is decorated with the heads of two women facing in opposite directions, their foreheads garlanded with two knotted snakes, was made from brass. But he decided to get it valued when he was moving last year and was told it was actually a rare piece of ancient Persian treasure, beaten out of a single sheet of gold hundreds of years before the birth of Jesus Christ. That’s better than a winning lottery ticket. Webber is from England and the “toy” will go up for auction in June at Duke’s in Dorchester. Webber, 70, said that his grandfather had a “good eye” for antiques and picked up “all sorts” as he plied his trade in the town of Taunton in south-west England. “Heaven knows where he got this, he never said,” he added, revealing that as a child, he used the cup for target practice with his air gun. That was an expensive target.

Handout images showing the front and side views of a gold cup ...

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HILLARY-DISTILLERY, WIZARDRY REFUTED, PIGGYBACK PLANE, INDIANA JONES, AND ROBOT SYMPHONY

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2008 by mclassen

HILLARY AND THE DISTILLERY

Hillary Clinton seems to be finding ways to kick back and relax while on the campaign trail. She’s found ways to put down beer, do shots of Crown Royal and now she’s stopped off to see how Maker’s Mark is made. I’ll give her credit she has taste. She also seems to be having a bit of fun and finding moments to relax while taking her message around the country. Actually if I had to put with some of the crap people were writing about me I’d find a way to down the occassional cocktail too. Clinton stopped by to see how the Maker’s Mark process worked and delivered a message to some folks that were parked on the grass to see her. “All those people on TV who are telling you and everybody else that this race is over and I should just be graceful and say, ‘Oh it’s over’ even though I’ve won more votes – those are all people who have a job,” Clinton told supporters picnicking in the gardens of the distillery. “Those are all people who have health care. Those are all people who can afford to send their kids to college. Those are all people who can pay whatever is charged at the gas pump. They’re not the people I’m running to be a champion for.” She reminds me of Tim Allen in Galaxyquest: Never give up, Never surrender. Hopefully she’ll be appearing at a local pub near me so I can go knock a couple back with Hillary. Maybe her husband will tag along and we can go out back and not inhale. 

Sen. Clinton at Maker's Mark Distillery in Loretto, Kentucky, Saturday.

FLORIDA SCHOOL REFUTES FIRING TEACHER FOR WIZARDRY

On May 5th, it was reported that Jim Piculas had been fired for making a toothpick disappear and reappear. According to him he received a phone call saying “We’ve got a problem, Wizardry,” and was told he couldn’t have any more substitute teacher assignments. He was fired. Now the Land o lakes school board is trying to deperately refute Piculas’ claim. It’s no wonder. The have received as many as 50 phone calls and emails a day from across the country, angry at this rather narrow perspective on performing a trick in front of kids. Now that they nationally look like idiots, they’ve changed their tune. According to the school and Marge Whaley, a member of the school board, the decision was based on complaints that they had about Piculas using profane language, couldn’t control the class and putting a student in charge. None of the complaining parents have come forward.

 PLANE LANDS ON TOP OF ANOTHER

Land, land, where to land. A couple of pilots got their messages mixed up in Roanoake, VA yesterday when they were figuring out who had the runway. Air traffic control must have been sleeping through this one. Apparently they both thought that the runway was his and just as the inbound aircraft was about to touch down the outbound plane pulled under it. The move was perfectly timed. The first aircraft landed right on top of the other, lodging its propeller into the lower fuselage and coming to a halt directly on the other’s roof. Fortunately nobody was injured. These were pilots with guardian angels on their shoulders. The video below shows the planes after landing. Check it out.

INDIANA JONES PREMIERES TO MIXED REVIEWS

The new Indiana Jones film premiered in Cannes. This is one of the big movies I’ve personally been waiting for. The audience coming out weren’t as enthusiastic as they were going in.  I think maybe, myself included, may be expecting too much out of the new Indy movie. Harrison Ford is older now than Sean Connery was when he played his father. Also it is going around that the Shia Lebouf character is actually the love child of Indy and Marion Ravenwood which is played by Karen Allen. I wonder if they named him Illinois. George Lucas is already hinting at a possible fifth Indy movie. Good grief, Harrison Ford will be in a Rascal Scooter by then. What’s it going to be called, Indiana Jones and the … He’s too old to remember? Maybe he should just come up with a new movie concept. He’s done nothing but sequels for decades. Wait a minute, wasn’t the last original movie he did Howard the Duck? Never mind.

ROBOT CONDUCTS DETROIT SYMPHONY

If they’re worried in Detroit about robots taking their jobs, they have reason to be. A robot named ASIMO, Advanced Step in Innovative Mobility, sucessfully conducted the Detroit Symphony Orchestra in a performance of the Impossible Dream. This proves once and for all that anyone or anything can conduct a well trained orchestra. It also shows that someone had way too much time on their hands. I’m betting a government grant had something to do with this. Build a robot that runs into a burning building, then I’ll be impressed.

robot ASIMO, May 13