HILLARY-DISTILLERY, WIZARDRY REFUTED, PIGGYBACK PLANE, INDIANA JONES, AND ROBOT SYMPHONY

HILLARY AND THE DISTILLERY

Hillary Clinton seems to be finding ways to kick back and relax while on the campaign trail. She’s found ways to put down beer, do shots of Crown Royal and now she’s stopped off to see how Maker’s Mark is made. I’ll give her credit she has taste. She also seems to be having a bit of fun and finding moments to relax while taking her message around the country. Actually if I had to put with some of the crap people were writing about me I’d find a way to down the occassional cocktail too. Clinton stopped by to see how the Maker’s Mark process worked and delivered a message to some folks that were parked on the grass to see her. “All those people on TV who are telling you and everybody else that this race is over and I should just be graceful and say, ‘Oh it’s over’ even though I’ve won more votes – those are all people who have a job,” Clinton told supporters picnicking in the gardens of the distillery. “Those are all people who have health care. Those are all people who can afford to send their kids to college. Those are all people who can pay whatever is charged at the gas pump. They’re not the people I’m running to be a champion for.” She reminds me of Tim Allen in Galaxyquest: Never give up, Never surrender. Hopefully she’ll be appearing at a local pub near me so I can go knock a couple back with Hillary. Maybe her husband will tag along and we can go out back and not inhale. 

FLORIDA SCHOOL REFUTES FIRING TEACHER FOR WIZARDRY

On May 5th, it was reported that Jim Piculas had been fired for making a toothpick disappear and reappear. According to him he received a phone call saying “We’ve got a problem, Wizardry,” and was told he couldn’t have any more substitute teacher assignments. He was fired. Now the Land o lakes school board is trying to deperately refute Piculas’ claim. It’s no wonder. The have received as many as 50 phone calls and emails a day from across the country, angry at this rather narrow perspective on performing a trick in front of kids. Now that they nationally look like idiots, they’ve changed their tune. According to the school and Marge Whaley, a member of the school board, the decision was based on complaints that they had about Piculas using profane language, couldn’t control the class and putting a student in charge. None of the complaining parents have come forward.

 PLANE LANDS ON TOP OF ANOTHER

Land, land, where to land. A couple of pilots got their messages mixed up in Roanoake, VA yesterday when they were figuring out who had the runway. Air traffic control must have been sleeping through this one. Apparently they both thought that the runway was his and just as the inbound aircraft was about to touch down the outbound plane pulled under it. The move was perfectly timed. The first aircraft landed right on top of the other, lodging its propeller into the lower fuselage and coming to a halt directly on the other’s roof. Fortunately nobody was injured. These were pilots with guardian angels on their shoulders. The video below shows the planes after landing. Check it out.

INDIANA JONES PREMIERES TO MIXED REVIEWS

The new Indiana Jones film premiered in Cannes. This is one of the big movies I’ve personally been waiting for. The audience coming out weren’t as enthusiastic as they were going in.  I think maybe, myself included, may be expecting too much out of the new Indy movie. Harrison Ford is older now than Sean Connery was when he played his father. Also it is going around that the Shia Lebouf character is actually the love child of Indy and Marion Ravenwood which is played by Karen Allen. I wonder if they named him Illinois. George Lucas is already hinting at a possible fifth Indy movie. Good grief, Harrison Ford will be in a Rascal Scooter by then. What’s it going to be called, Indiana Jones and the … He’s too old to remember? Maybe he should just come up with a new movie concept. He’s done nothing but sequels for decades. Wait a minute, wasn’t the last original movie he did Howard the Duck? Never mind.

ROBOT CONDUCTS DETROIT SYMPHONY

If they’re worried in Detroit about robots taking their jobs, they have reason to be. A robot named ASIMO, Advanced Step in Innovative Mobility, sucessfully conducted the Detroit Symphony Orchestra in a performance of the Impossible Dream. This proves once and for all that anyone or anything can conduct a well trained orchestra. It also shows that someone had way too much time on their hands. I’m betting a government grant had something to do with this. Build a robot that runs into a burning building, then I’ll be impressed.