BARACK OBAMA FIGHTS RUMORS WITH WEBSITE
You know there’s trouble when you have to set up an entire website to combat the rumors going around about you. That’s what Barack Obama has had to do. Obama and his wife Michelle seems to have gotten the media going in so many directions that it’s like trying to figure out Tom Cruise. Nobody knows what’s really going on. Hence a website. The Obama political machine has produced a site that should lay to rest everyone’s speculation about the couple with their version of the “truth.” It’s called “Fight the Smears.” Don’t you love that title. The sight is part of the official Barack Obama website and contains everything you wanted to know about the Obamas but were afraid to ask. Only kidding. http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/fightthesmearshome/ Here you’ll find the truth about the infamous Republican “Whitey” tape. You know the one that’s harder to find than Bigfoot. It talks about Obama’s alleged Muslim ties, a copy of his birth certificate, and Obama’s “racist” books. They want the world to know that he’s a sparkly clean young man and that all is well with the world. Why am I suddenly hearing Disney music and little birds breaking out in song? Certainly the candidates should be putting out the information they want voters to see and the media always latches on to any kind of rumor it can find and tailors it to what sells. It makes it difficult on all of us that want to have informed decisions and back someone we really believe in. A website isn’t going to dispel the rumors instigated by the media and the opposition and certainly more will crop up. An information hungry public demands it. I used to start rumors about myself just to see what they sounded like when they got back to me. I found it entertaining. But then, I’m not running for office.
WOMAN PRISONER GETS STUCK IN AIR DUCT
In Sydney Australia, a woman attempting an escape from jail didn’t make it. I have to say it’s not like it is on TV. She got stuck in an air conditioning duct. She had been refused bail so she decided she wasn’t going to stick around. She was wrong. She stuck around alright, literally. It was an hour before they could get her out. Now she faces additional charges of attempted jail break. See, don’t believe everything you see on TV or in the movies. Then you don’t end up in embarrassing articles on the internet.
BOEING 727 IN LOST AND FOUND
A passenger airliner has been sitting on a tarmac in Vienam for over a year. It’s at Hanoi’s Noi Bai airport and no one has come forward to claim it. No one has reported one missing either. If you’re looking for one it’s really big, made out of metal and painted white. The plane is marked with a Cambodian flag and the name Air Dream. It can be claimed at the airport lost and found. I suspect at this point they’d give it to anyone as long as it gets out of their hair. It sounds like a good acquisition for a rock band. Although, with the price of gas, it’s probably not going anywhere soon.
IDIOT STALKER CELLPHONE MASTURBATION LEADS TO CAPTURE
If you’re going to do something weird to someone, deon’t do it over the cellphone. Onanist Benjamin Baker, 27, of Victoria, Australia, was stalking a woman, who in turn went to the police to complain. Police Prosecutor Seaton Lillas said Baker repeatedly harassed his victim by phone and sent her video of him masturbating. Baker, whose timing wasn’t the best, sent her a video of him while she was at the station filling out the complaint. Oops. “The victim answered the call to find Baker again masturbating himself and she showed the officer taking her statement,” Senior Constable Lillas told the court. Well, that’s a zip and shut case. Baker wasn’t sentanced to do any hard time, but his behavior was called “disturbing” by the judge and he was fined $3000. Yea, disturbing, no doubt.
SEX DRUGS AND FOOTBALL – JASON PETER
Jason Peter is a former Carolina Panther who has written a book, not like that’s unusual these days. What is unusual is the amount of drug use and partying he portrays in the tome. He says he could down 60 vicatin, 20 sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka. Woa, dude, how can you write a book. You shouldn’t be able to remember a thing. This makes me wonder about the credibility of this “insightful piece of literature. I think a lot of this crap is made up to sell copies. Peter King of Sports Illustrated writes in an article about the book: “Vicodin. Ambien. Cocaine. Crack. Heroin. GHB, the date-rape drug. Lots of others I’ve never heard of. He’s not sure if he’s been in rehab six or seven times. He’s blown most of the $6.5 million Carolina paid him over a disappointing, injury-filled NFL career with the Panthers. Nights and weeks with prostitutes so numerous … well, so numerous that his Madame at a high-rolling Manhattan brothel ran out of girls for him.” If you’re looking for a book about the workings of the NFL, this isn’t it. It’s the seedy side of life where overpaid atheletes go on incredible binges when they have too much money. Jason Peter wasn’t a very good football player and now we know why. He’s blown all his money and now he’s writing a book so he can buy more drugs and whores. The slander hungry public will flock to throw down their $35.00 a pop to read the trash this guy is offering. Well, there’s a sucker born every minute. And a junkie is still a junkie, even if he can mumble out a few pages to keep his habit going.
TRAFFIC TICKET SURCHARGE, WEDDING BELL BRAWLS, CONTROLLING WEATHER, PYTHON GUARD SNAKE, AND HULA HOOP ANNIVERSARY
Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags AARP, Air Force, Anniversary, Art, attack, Baby Boomer, Ball, blog, blogging, brawl, Bridgeport, britian, cement, comedy, commentary, controlling, conversations, digg, editorial, England, Family, fark.com, fight, funny, Georgia, Google, history, holiday, Holly, hoop, hula, Humor, Inn, James, Ken, Life, literature, Love, Michigan, Music, New, Newburgh, News, nude women, nudity, odd, opinion, Peter, police, Politics, porn, python, rain, Ramada, random thoughts, Rodriguez, roof, ruminations, Russia, Russian, sex, Springs, stabbing, strange, surcharge, Talarico, Technology, theonion.com, Thoughts, ticket, traffic, TV, Viadero, Victor, video, weather, wedding, weird, Whammo, Whamo, women, wordpress.com, wordpress.org, Writing, Yahoo, York, youtube on June 19, 2008 by mclassenPOLICE PAYING FOR GAS THROUGH TRAFFIC TICKETS
The police have found a way to add insult to injury. Are you ready for this? They’re going to tack on a surcharge to your traffic tickets to help pay for the gas. I thought my taxes already did that. Now they’re going to get us coming and going. That’s exactly what they’re doing in Holly Springs, Georgia and if this works, it won’t be long and others will follow their shining example. Drivers caught speeding in this north Atlanta suburb soon will have to pay an extra $12 – to cover $4-a-gallon gas costs for the police officers who stop them. The City Council passed the fee hike, effective July 1, to offset fuel prices that have eaten up nearly 60% of the police department’s 2008 fuel budget, Police Chief Ken Ball says. I suppose all those frivilous stops at the donut shop don’t mean anything do they? He expects the fee increase, which applies to all moving violations and can be rescinded if gas prices fall below $3 a gallon, to generate $19,500 to $26,000 a year for the town of 7,700. Ball says he was seeking ways to maintain patrols despite record high gas prices. “I was hearing that Delta Air Lines, pizza deliverers, florists were adding fuel charges to their services, and I thought, why not police departments?” he says. Well, unlike those commercial businesses, police departments are tax funded so they are suppossed to stay within their budgets. Other cities could follow. Ball says he’s being “inundated” by calls from police chiefs and city managers. “I’ve heard from at least a dozen police chiefs and half a dozen city managers,” he says of the measure passed Monday night. “They want to know how we did it, and could we send them a copy of the ordinance.” See, I said this would spread like a bad virus. Tell me this isn’t going to make them work for their ticket quotas. I can see now how they will be telling the car patrols to make sure they hand out enough to cover their costs. “Get out there, be safe and bring in lots of money.
WHEN WEDDINGS GO BAD
This reminds me of the old westerns where someone throws one puch and then everybody gets in on the act.In Newburgh, New York, a dispute over a camera at a wedding party turned into a 100-person melee which spilled into the parking lot outside of the Ramada Inn where it was being held. Two people were treated at a hospital afterward for stab wounds including the disc jockey who was stabbed in the back of the neck. Tough gig, you should’ve played better music. Another man received treatment after being punched in the face. Cops from the Town and the City of Newburgh, New Windsor, Montgomery, Walden and state police responded, and Talarico says it took nearly two hours for police to restore order. “It just kept going on and on,” said Town of Newburgh Police Sgt. Peter Talarico. “It was a wedding party gone bad.” Cops say they broke up over 30 individual fights among the party guests, and arrested six people at the end of the night. Talarico said there will be no further investigation, because no one at the scene was cooperating with police. It doesn’t sound like they were even cooperating with themselves. Well this is interesting kharma for starting out your new life together. I’d hate to be there at the divorce.
CONTROLLING WEATHER – BAD IDEA
It’s a holiday in Russia. Rain would be a no-no and would put a damper on all the festivities. What do you do? Let’s make it rain now so we get a nice day for the holiday. Right? Well, “A pack of cement used in creating … good weather in the capital region … failed to pulverize completely at high altitude and fell on the roof of a house, making a hole about 80-100cm,” police in Naro-Fominsk told agency RIA-Novosti. Oops, guess we screwed up with that one. Ahead of major public holidays the Russian Air Force often dispatches up to 12 cargo planes carrying loads of silver iodide, liquid nitrogen and cement powder to seed clouds above Moscow and empty the skies of moisture. Ok, doesn’t this mean that immediately thereafter it’s raining cement? Now it’s raining bags of cement. June 12 was Russia Day, a patriotic holiday celebrating the country’s independence after the break-up of the Soviet Union. Stick to fireworks and hope for the best like we do. Cement? Bad idea.
PYTHONS MAKE BAD GUARD DOGS
“Sick ’em” deos not work for a snake. In Bridgeport, England, police were called when they received a report that Victor Rodriquez was threatening his girlfriend with a reptile. Is there such a thing as assault with a reptile? Police Lt. James Viadero says that when the building superintendent opened the apartment door for the officers, Rodriguez allegedly threatened them with the snake and told it to “Get them!” The snake apparently saw no value in this since there was no live mice involved. Rodriguez and his pet were both taken away, Rodriguez to jail on a $10,000 bond, and the albino python to the city’s animal control shelter. They are no charges pending against the snake since he went quietly and refused to be an accomplice.
HULA HOOPS TURN 50
June 18 was the 50th anniversary on one of the funnest and most frustrating toys ever invented, the HUla Hoop. Those who learned to do it well were the envy of all those like me that threw our backs out of joint trying. I felt that my back and the hula hoop deserved this recognition.
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