Archive for police

CARLSBERG BEER EMPLOYEES RIGHT TO DRINK, FIRST CLASS THIEF, KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN BREADLESS SANDWICH, and MAN’S PENIS STOLEN BY POLICE

Posted in Culture, Entertainment, Food, Humor, Life, News, Politics, Random, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 9, 2010 by mclassen

 Carlsberg staff responded to a recent beer ban by going on strike

Carlsberg Beer Empoyees Strike for On-the-Job Beer Drinking

Beer, one of the few things worth fighting for. At least it appears that’s what employees at Carlsberg Beer in Copenhagen, Denmark, think. Almost 800 staff walked out, with 250 remaining on strike after the new rules came into force. No more beer except at lunch. Wow, no more drinking on the job. Jens Bekke, spokesman, said that drivers retained a right to three beers per day outside lunch hours and that warehouse employees claimed the same right. Did he say a right? Does that mean their worker’s union negotiated beer into their contracts? The warehouse guys too?  “Yesterday, beers were removed from all refrigerators. The only place you can get a beer in future is in the canteen, at lunch. Because of that, the warehouse staff went on strike yesterday, with other staff striking in sympathy,” he said. I suspect at this point a lot of these employees have alcohol problems. Can you say withdrawal? They went on strike cause they all went to the pub in need of  beer. He stated that Carlsberg shipments from Copenhagen would not occur on Thursday and that delays would occur in the rest of the country. On the upside, weaving beer trucks on the highway would be severly reduced. Carlsberg’s trucks are fitted with alcohol locks, preventing drivers from drunk-driving. As many beers as they were allowed they didn’t need the locks. I’m sure a couple of carry-ons would fix that.

Thief in the Mail

Now, I have to admit for once, this one is pretty clever. A thief in Poland pulled off a series of robberies by climbing into large parcels and mailed himself to businesses,  then climbing out and having his way with them at night. Not bad eh? It gets better. Stanislaw Muchy, 39, would then make his getaway by sealing both himself and the loot in another box addressed to his Warsaw home. Mailed in, shipped out. How creative is that? Well, there’s always a flaw in every plan. His “best laid plans” came to an end after he fell out with an accomplice, whose job it was to deliver him to courier firms. He contacted police and reported the scheme. Well it looks like your P.O. Box is about to be cancelled.
After being tipped off, police said: “We arranged a special delivery of our own.” I bet they did. The only special deliveries he’ll be making will be through the rear entrance.

The KFC Double Down Sandwich: Say 'no' to bread

KFC’s No Bread Sandwich

Now from our disgusting mass of goo department, here’s the next brilliant, and I use that term sarcastically, innovation in the fast food revolution. It’s the no bread sandwich. I have to wonder what brilliant think tank came up with this one? KFC’s bosses reasoned that burgers just don’t contain enough meat, so have released the Double Down Chicken Sandwich, which says “no to bread” replacing it with chicken that sandwiches bacon, cheese and the Colonel’s special sauce. That’s what reasoning will get ya. Like I said, “Mass of Goo.” You really don’t want to try this with clothes you want to keep. The KFC Double Down sandwich website says “this one-of-a-kind sandwich” features “two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel’s Sauce.” Don’t you just love the company propaganda. Well, we can only hope this remains a one-of-a-kind sandwich. Can you see giving this to one of the kids? You better hope you have a Labrador to clean the car and the kid. The Double Down is set to launch in America on April 12. Hmm. I’m thinking Arbys.

Police Sieze Furniture Store Owner’s Penis

It appears a case of penis envy has led to penis siezure by a law enforcement agency in Britian. 46-year-old Jason Hadlow’s prized stone Indonesian penis carving was snatched by police after a member of the public complained about the $400, four-foot phallus, which was on display in his furniture store window. That’s what happens when you show your penis in public. He was told to pay an $150 fixed penalty notice, or face prosecution for causing “harassment, alarm and distress” and was told he can only have his penis back if he promises not to put it on display again. No more Indonesian penis flashing for you. Hadlow, who runs the store in North Yorkshire, has now started a Facebook campaign for the return of the phallus, which he has naturally called the “Free Willy” campaign. What else would it be? His experiences have not discouraged him though, he told the Northern Echo that he’s ordered over a hundred more of the phalluses: “I have got a container of them coming in four weeks, which contains a minimum of 150 of the willies.” Wow, the police are going to need a warehouse just to house their arrested penises. Sounds like this could develop into a fixation. Local police said they were within their rights to seize the penis, insisting that Hadlow was “committing an offense.” Cuff ’em Dann-o.

MARTHA STEWART FAIL, CHOPPER UFO CHASE, WOODEN ELECTRIC CAR, WEIRDO IN THE COUCH, ROBOT GIRLFRIENDS, TRONS, AND STAR WARS DANCERS

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 21, 2008 by mclassen

 MARTHA STEWART BANNED, DENIED, NO GO TO BRITAIN

Ah the old ghost comes back to haunt. The Queen of whatever it is she does, Martha Stewart, has seen the old ghost of her past rise before her eyes once again. The woman who had no life and made a carreer out of it is visiting Poland where they are launching a version of her “Martha Stewart Living” magazine in Polish. She thought she’d stop by the British Isles on her way home. Wrong, fail, not going to happen. Apparently, the British powers that be don’t appreciate her prison record and have denied her a visa  to enter the country. I guess she won’t be showing the queen how to make paper flowers this time around.  “Martha loves England; the country and English culture are near and dear to her heart,” said Charles Koppelman, chairman of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia. “She has engagements with English companies and business leaders and hopes this can be resolved so that she will be able to visit soon.” I guess they will just have to come to her back in the good old U.S. of A. A British spokeswoman, however, refused to comment about Stewart’s entry to Britain, but added: “We continue to oppose the entry to the U.K. of individuals where we believe their presence in the United Kingdom is not conducive to the public good or where they have been found guilty of serious criminal offenses abroad.” Ouch. That’s going to leave a mark. Now for those of you that have been living under the proverbial rock here’s a recap. In 2004, Stewart was convicted in federal court of conspiracy, obstruction of justice and making false statements related to a personal sale of ImClone Systems Inc. stock. She got a five-month prison sentence, and also served an additional five months and three weeks of home confinement. Well, Martha, I guess it sucks for you. Welcome back to the real world where we all live with our mistakes. No crumpets for you.

Martha Stewart

 

HELICOPTER PURSUES UFO

In England a police helicopter spotted a flying saucer and decided to give chase. If UFOs can outrun a jet, did the police really think they had a chance in a chopper? The mystery aircraft zoomed straight at the chopper as the three-man cop crew prepared to land. Tag, you’re it. The pilot was forced to bank sharply to avoid being hit by the mystery aircraft as the helicopter was returning to the Ministry of Defence base of St Athan, near Cardiff. Maybe it was another of those infamous secret experimental military aircraft. The three crew described the UFO as ‘flying saucer-shaped’. They gave chase, getting as far as the North Devon coast before they ran low on fuel. “They are convinced it was a UFO. It sounds far-fetched, but they know what they saw.” Said an unnamed source. Why do these people always refuse to give their name? I don’t know how far-fetched it sounds these days. These things are appearing almost daily. I wish one would land and say “Hi,” but then sombody would probably shoot at it.

WOODEN ELECTRIC CAR UNVEILED

What would Henry Ford think if he saw this? A driver takes a prototype wooden electric car for a spin after it was unveiled in Kyoto, Japan. The buggy, which has bamboo-weave doors, has a range of six miles and can hit 30mph. It kind of reminds me of a golf cart. It would be great for putting around town.

wooden car

WEIRDO HIDES IN COUCH

It is amazing to what extent some people will go through to be weird. Police say a New York man cut a hole in a woman’s couch and hid in the carved-out space until she came home.  Newburgh police said the woman sat on the couch Wednesday evening and felt a bump in the cushions move.  That would be really creepy. She jumped up and David Joe Limones emerged from his hiding place, knocking a cell phone out of her hand. Surprise. A jack-in-box in the couch. The woman was on the phone with a friend when she entered her apartment because she had filed an earlier complaint against Limones and was worried he might be there. She was obviously much smarter than he was. Police said she had asked the friend to stay on the line and call police if something went wrong. When officers arrived, they found Limones and the 22-year-old woman arguing on the apartment’s balcony. Hopefully they can put this cat away, but somehow I suspect this will only be temporary fix for this guy.

SEGA ROBOT GIRLFRIEND

Feeling lonely, can’t get a girl, tired of coming home to the hamster. Well Sega has come up with an idea to help you out. It’s a pixie-size robotic girlfriend with a big chest who will kiss on command. Android love baby. The petite lady, known as “EMA” (an acronym for Eternal Maiden Actualization), runs on batteries and will hit stores in September with a price of about $175. It’s a lot cheaper than a real girlfriend. “Strong, tough and battle-ready are some of the words often associated with robots, but we wanted to break that stereotype and provide a robot that’s sweet and interactive,” Sega spokesperson Minako Sakanoue said. “She’s very lovable and though she’s not a human, she can act like a real girlfriend.” Well let’s not carry it too far. She’s only 15 inches high. It’s more like a pucker up Barbie, except she looks like the Joan Rivers android in Spaceballs. When EMA’s sensors detect a nearby human head, she puckers up for a kiss, designers call this her “love mode.” How wonderfully…weird. Well, if nothing else, she suppossedly does a song and dance too. Really, I’m not kidding. EMA should be available by Christmas, batteries not included.

Sega's new Eternal Maiden Actualisation robot enters 'love mode' when a human head gets close. Photo / Reuters

TRONS – ROBOT BAND: I guess we don’t need musicians any more.

 
STAR WARS DANCE-A-THON
 

TRAFFIC TICKET SURCHARGE, WEDDING BELL BRAWLS, CONTROLLING WEATHER, PYTHON GUARD SNAKE, AND HULA HOOP ANNIVERSARY

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 19, 2008 by mclassen

 POLICE PAYING FOR GAS THROUGH TRAFFIC TICKETS

The police have found a way to add insult to injury. Are you ready for this? They’re going to tack on a surcharge to your traffic tickets to help pay for the gas. I thought my taxes already did that. Now they’re going to get us coming and going. That’s exactly what they’re doing in Holly Springs, Georgia and if this works, it won’t be long and others will follow their shining example. Drivers caught speeding in this north Atlanta suburb soon will have to pay an extra $12 – to cover $4-a-gallon gas costs for the police officers who stop them. The City Council passed the fee hike, effective July 1, to offset fuel prices that have eaten up nearly 60% of the police department’s 2008 fuel budget, Police Chief Ken Ball says. I suppose all those frivilous stops at the donut shop don’t mean anything do they? He expects the fee increase, which applies to all moving violations and can be rescinded if gas prices fall below $3 a gallon, to generate $19,500 to $26,000 a year for the town of 7,700. Ball says he was seeking ways to maintain patrols despite record high gas prices. “I was hearing that Delta Air Lines, pizza deliverers, florists were adding fuel charges to their services, and I thought, why not police departments?” he says. Well, unlike those commercial businesses, police departments are tax funded so they are suppossed to stay within their budgets. Other cities could follow. Ball says he’s being “inundated” by calls from police chiefs and city managers. “I’ve heard from at least a dozen police chiefs and half a dozen city managers,” he says of the measure passed Monday night. “They want to know how we did it, and could we send them a copy of the ordinance.” See, I said this would spread like a bad virus. Tell me this isn’t going to make them work for their ticket quotas. I can see now how they will be telling the car patrols to make sure they hand out enough to cover their costs. “Get out there, be safe and bring in lots of money. 

Policeman and motorists

WHEN WEDDINGS GO BAD

This reminds me of the old westerns where someone throws one puch and then everybody gets in on the act.In Newburgh, New York, a dispute over a camera at a wedding party turned into a 100-person melee which spilled into the parking lot outside of the Ramada Inn where it was being held. Two people were treated at a hospital afterward for stab wounds including the disc jockey who was stabbed in the back of the neck. Tough gig, you should’ve played better music. Another man received treatment after being punched in the face. Cops from the Town and the City of Newburgh, New Windsor, Montgomery, Walden and state police responded, and Talarico says it took nearly two hours for police to restore order. “It just kept going on and on,” said Town of Newburgh Police Sgt. Peter Talarico. “It was a wedding party gone bad.” Cops say they broke up over 30 individual fights among the party guests, and arrested six people at the end of the night. Talarico said there will be no further investigation, because no one at the scene was cooperating with police. It doesn’t sound like they were even cooperating with themselves. Well this is interesting kharma for starting out your new life together. I’d hate to be there at the divorce.

 CONTROLLING WEATHER – BAD IDEA

It’s a holiday in Russia. Rain would be a no-no and would put a damper on all the festivities. What do you do? Let’s make it rain now so we get a nice day for the holiday. Right? Well, “A pack of cement used in creating … good weather in the capital region … failed to pulverize completely at high altitude and fell on the roof of a house, making a hole about 80-100cm,” police in Naro-Fominsk told agency RIA-Novosti. Oops, guess we screwed up with that one. Ahead of major public holidays the Russian Air Force often dispatches up to 12 cargo planes carrying loads of silver iodide, liquid nitrogen and cement powder to seed clouds above Moscow and empty the skies of moisture. Ok, doesn’t this mean that immediately thereafter it’s raining cement? Now it’s raining bags of cement.  June 12 was Russia Day, a patriotic holiday celebrating the country’s independence after the break-up of the Soviet Union. Stick to fireworks and hope for the best like we do. Cement? Bad idea.

PYTHONS MAKE BAD GUARD DOGS

“Sick ’em” deos not work for a snake. In Bridgeport, England, police were called when they received a report that Victor Rodriquez was threatening his girlfriend with a reptile. Is there such a thing as assault with a reptile?  Police Lt. James Viadero says that when the building superintendent opened the apartment door for the officers, Rodriguez allegedly threatened them with the snake and told it to “Get them!” The snake apparently saw no value in this since there was no live mice involved. Rodriguez and his pet were both taken away, Rodriguez to jail on a $10,000 bond, and the albino python to the city’s animal control shelter. They are no charges pending against the snake since he went quietly and refused to be an accomplice.

HULA HOOPS TURN 50

June 18 was the 50th anniversary on one of the funnest and most frustrating toys ever invented, the HUla Hoop. Those who learned to do it well were the envy of all those like me that threw our backs out of joint trying. I felt that my back and the hula hoop deserved this recognition.

JEN MOSS TOPLESS JULY 4TH PARADE, LEMONADE STAND ROBBERY, MONK SEX ADVICE, STUPID BURGLAR, AND VOTING REPUBLICAN

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 WOMAN PLANS TO GO TOPLESS IN JULY 4TH PARADE

I love patriotism. A woman in Ashland Oregon plans to join their Fourth of July parade topless. If she’s not allowed she intends to sue the city. Yes she plans to have more than her Red, White and Blue showing this year. With some early fireworks she’s creating a preholiday controversy. Jen Moss has been known as “The Naked Lady” since she moved to Ashland in May from Ojai, Calif. She was drawn by the town’s nudity laws. They specify only that people must cover their genitalia in a city park or the downtown commercial district, which means Moss need not cover her breasts. I bet that’s one loophole they’re going to regret. The Ashland Chamber of Commerce learned of her coverage plans from an online posting. Ya gotta love the internet. She promised to lead in-line skaters “wearing only a hemp G-string and blowing a conch shell.” That presents an intriquing image. “We don’t feel that someone in the parade who is topless or nearly naked is appropriate for a family audience,” said parade chairman James Kidd. “She’s welcome on any other day of the year to do that,” he said. “But not on the Fourth of July while in the parade.” Moss told the Ashland Daily Tidings in an e-mail that if she can’t be nearly naked in the parade, she would “run around near naked protesting their unconstitutionalism and un-Americanism.” And she said, she would ask the American Civil Liberties Union for help in a lawsuit. Good luck with all that. Apparently this woman didn’t get enough attention at home and is now seeking it elsewhere. Well, cover the kids eyes and hope for the best. And, maybe you need to rethink that ordinance.

DON’T MESS WITH THE LEMONADE STAND

There’s nothing like the smell of lemonade in the morning. A group of kids inTerra Haute, Indiana were running a lemonade stand when Steve Tryon showed up. “The guy came up and was, like, ‘Give me your money,'” said Dominique Morefield, who was running the lemonade stand with a group of friends. “I was shocked. It was just my immediate reaction to chase after him.” And Chase after him she did. This is one little girl you do not want to mess with. She actually followed him into a house and then called the cops. Officers eventually persuaded Tryon, 18, to come outside after 45 minutes and arrested him on a preliminary felony charge of robbery of $17.50. “I didn’t think anyone would come up to a lemonade stand and steal, that’s really low,” 12-year-old Fred Erstine said. Well Fred, the world is full of all kinds of morons. The kids say they will continue to sell lemonade, but now they are using a parent for a security guard. Don’t mes with the lemonade kids, they’ll bust your butt.

CELIBATE MONK SETS UP SEX ADVICE SITE

I’m not sure how well this will work, but a celibate monk has set up a website giving sex advice to Catholic couples. Go figure. Father Ksawery Knotz’s lover’s guide on http://www.szansaspotkania.net gives graphic lovemaking tips and has been dubbed the “Catholic Kama Sutra.” It compares having an orgasm to going to heaven and recommends that men “take care that women experience pleasure” during sex, adding that this requires “extra efforts on the part of the husband.” Really, well there’s a brilliant bit of advice. It just seems a little dumb to me to be taking sex advice from someone who suppossedly has never had it. It just goes to show that anyone can be an expert on anything on the internet these days. 

ESCAPED CROOK ASKS POLICE TO REMOVE HANDCUFFS

Here’s a bright move. A man and his three friends break into a supermarket and are caught by the security guard. One of them is caught and handcuffed to a rail while the guard goes after the other three. The man then escapes. Everything would have been fine if would have left it there, but no, what does he do? He goes to the local precinct house and asks the police to remove the cuffs. “It was stupid of him,” said a police spokesman in Frankfurt, Germany on Monday. “They took the cuffs off, but they kept him.” The security guard had called the local police so they were aware of the escaped burglar. The cuffed man tried to convince police that a friend had put the cuffs on as a joke and now they couldn’t get them off. The police removed the handcuffs and then reunited him with his friends. Somtimes, you just have to wonder what goes through peoples’ heads. Near as I can tell, absolutely nothing.

VOTING REPUBLICAN 

BARACK OBAMA RUMOR WEBSITE, AIR DUCT JAILBREAK, MISPLACED AIRLINER, CELLPHONE STALKER, AND JASON PETER BOOK

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 13, 2008 by mclassen

BARACK OBAMA FIGHTS RUMORS WITH WEBSITE

You know there’s trouble when you have to set up an entire website to combat the rumors going around about you. That’s what Barack Obama has had to do. Obama and his wife Michelle seems to have gotten the media going in so many directions that it’s like trying to figure out Tom Cruise. Nobody knows what’s really going on. Hence a website. The Obama political machine has produced a site that should lay to rest everyone’s speculation about the couple with their version of the “truth.” It’s called “Fight the Smears.” Don’t you love that title. The sight is part of the official Barack Obama website and contains everything you wanted to know about the Obamas but were afraid to ask. Only kidding. http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/fightthesmearshome/ Here you’ll find the truth about the infamous Republican “Whitey” tape. You know the one that’s harder to find than Bigfoot. It talks about Obama’s alleged Muslim ties, a copy of his birth certificate, and Obama’s “racist” books.  They want the world to know that he’s a sparkly clean young man and that all is well with the world. Why am I suddenly hearing Disney music and little birds breaking out in song? Certainly the candidates should be putting out the information they want voters to see and the media always latches on to any kind of rumor it can find and tailors it to what sells. It makes it difficult on all of us that want to have informed decisions and back someone we really believe in. A website isn’t going to dispel the rumors instigated by the media and the opposition and certainly more will crop up. An information hungry public demands it. I used to start rumors about myself just to see what they sounded like when they got back to me. I found it entertaining. But then, I’m not running for office.

 

WOMAN PRISONER GETS STUCK IN AIR DUCT

In Sydney Australia, a woman attempting an escape from jail didn’t make it. I have to say it’s not like it is on TV. She got stuck in an air conditioning duct. She had been refused bail so she decided she wasn’t going to stick around. She was wrong. She stuck around alright, literally. It was an hour before they could get her out. Now she faces additional charges of attempted jail break. See, don’t believe everything you see on TV or in the movies.  Then you don’t end up in embarrassing articles on the internet.

BOEING 727 IN LOST AND FOUND

A passenger airliner has been sitting on a tarmac in Vienam for over a year. It’s at Hanoi’s Noi Bai airport and no one has come forward to claim it.  No one has reported one missing either. If you’re looking for one it’s really big, made out of metal and painted white. The plane is marked with a Cambodian flag and the name Air Dream. It can be claimed at the airport lost and found. I suspect at this point they’d give it to anyone as long as it gets out of their hair. It sounds like a good acquisition for a rock band. Although, with the price of gas, it’s probably not going anywhere soon.

IDIOT STALKER CELLPHONE MASTURBATION LEADS TO CAPTURE

If you’re going to do something weird to someone, deon’t do it over the cellphone. Onanist Benjamin Baker, 27, of Victoria, Australia, was stalking a woman, who in turn went to the police to complain. Police Prosecutor Seaton Lillas said Baker repeatedly harassed his victim by phone and sent her video of him masturbating. Baker, whose timing wasn’t the best, sent her a video of him while she was at the station filling out the complaint. Oops. “The victim answered the call to find Baker again masturbating himself and she showed the officer taking her statement,” Senior Constable Lillas told the court. Well, that’s a zip and shut case. Baker wasn’t sentanced to do any hard time, but his behavior was called “disturbing” by the judge and he was fined $3000. Yea, disturbing, no doubt.

SEX DRUGS AND FOOTBALL – JASON PETER

Jason Peter is a former Carolina Panther who has written a book, not like that’s unusual these days. What is unusual is the amount of drug use and partying he portrays in the tome. He says he could down 60 vicatin, 20 sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka. Woa, dude, how can you write a book. You shouldn’t be able to remember a thing. This makes me wonder about the credibility of this “insightful piece of literature. I think a lot of this crap is made up to sell copies. Peter King of Sports Illustrated writes in an article about the book: “Vicodin. Ambien. Cocaine. Crack. Heroin. GHB, the date-rape drug. Lots of others I’ve never heard of. He’s not sure if he’s been in rehab six or seven times. He’s blown most of the $6.5 million Carolina paid him over a disappointing, injury-filled NFL career with the Panthers. Nights and weeks with prostitutes so numerous … well, so numerous that his Madame at a high-rolling Manhattan brothel ran out of girls for him.” If you’re looking for a book about the workings of the NFL, this isn’t it. It’s the seedy side of life where overpaid atheletes go on incredible binges when they have too much money. Jason Peter wasn’t a very good football player and now we know why. He’s blown all his money and now he’s writing a book so he can buy more drugs and whores. The slander hungry public will flock to throw down their $35.00 a pop to read the trash this guy is offering. Well, there’s a sucker born every minute.  And a junkie is still a junkie, even if he can mumble out a few pages to keep his habit going.

CONDOLEEZA RICE MEETS KISS, THONG THIEVES, EMPTY HOUSE SHOOTOUT, AMAZON LOST TRIBE, AND MODERN ROBINSON CRUSOE

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 31, 2008 by mclassen

CONDOLEEZA RICE JOINS THE KISS ARMY

Who knew the Secretary of State was a Kiss fan. While in Stockholm, Sweden she decided to “Let her hair down” and take in a show with the aging rockers.  “I was thrilled,” Rice said of her late-night encounter with Kiss’ Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer in the executive lounge of the Sheraton Hotel where they signed autographs and handed out backstage passes and T-shirts to her staff. Late night encounter? This sounds like more than a passing fancy. I can’t wait for the tell-all book on that one. “It was really fun to meet Kiss and Gene Simmons,” she told reporters, noting that they seemed well-informed about current events. The band had asked if she could stop by after she finished dinner with the Swedish foreign minister and Rice readily agreed, she said. When Kiss beacons, she comes? Wow, how does that rate? I didn’t know they had that kind of power. Rice, a classically trained pianist, said she has eclectic musical tastes ranging from Beethoven to Bruce Springsteen. Kiss is apparently one of them. Rice said her favorite Kiss tune is “Rock and Roll All Nite.” I’m sorry, I have a hard time picturing her Rock and Rolling all night and partying everyday. Is there something about her we don’t know. Has she been hiding this closet nightlife? Could she be a mosh-pitter?

Condoleezza Rice and Kiss

 

ROBBERS USE WOMEN’S THONGS FOR MASKS

In Arvada, Colorado, police are searching for two men who robbed a convenience store. instead of useing masks, they decided to use women’s thongs to hide their identities. The two apparent panty sniffers wandered through the store and then went up and demanded money and cigarettes from the clerk. I wonder if she kept a straight face during all of this? The two were unarmed. That’s right, they didn’t even take guns. The two left the store still wearing the thongs on their heads. They actually went out in public like that.

POLICE ATTACK EMPTY HOUSE

Police suspected that criminals from a post office robbery were hiding out in a house in Conset, England. They laid siege to the house for four hours trying to get the suspects to come out with their hands up. Finally the cops gave up and entered the house with dogs. The house was empty. Yep, no one home. So much for that reputed brilliant criminal deduction we’ve heard so much about. Elementary? 

LOST TRIBE DISCOVERED IN BRAZIL

 This is like something out of Indiana Jones. Deep in the Amazon Jungle, a plane flying over Brazil co\aught these images of a previously uncontacted tribe near the Peruvian border along the Envira river. According to authorities, the tribe looks healthy and thriving. They are located in what is called an Ethno-Environmental Protected Area. There are nearly 100 uncontacted tribes in this region and officials strive to keep them that way. “These pictures are further evidence that uncontacted tribes really do exist,” Survival director Stephen Corry said. “The world needs to wake up to this, and ensure that their territory is protected in accordance with international law. Otherwise, they will soon be made extinct.” I like knowing there are still things in the world we know nothing about and that there are a few mysteries left out there. Think of it, a culture with no cellphones, internet, or cable TV.

 

One of Brazil's last remaining uncontacted tribes; Thursday 5/30

One of Brazil's last remaining uncontacted tribes

EXPLORER TO LIVE 300 DAYS ALONE ON AN ISLAND

A French explorer and adventurer Xavier Rosset has decided he is going to live for nearly a year on the remote isolated island of Tofua in the pacific. He intends to turn his adventure into a documentary of a modern day Robinson Crusoe. Tofua is only 30 miles away from where the mutiny on the HMS Bounty took place. Suppossedly Captain Bligh landed there after Spencer Christian set him and his men adrift searching for water.  One of Bligh’s men was buried there. Rosset has picked an interesting place to stay.  The only things he’s taking with him is a Swiss army knife, machete, video camera and solar panels for charging batteries for the camera. I have to admit, I’m a little envious on this one. Nearly a year with no phone, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury. He intends to build a shelter, find fish and plants for food, and gather rainwater for drinking. Sounds like he has this all thought out. Only problem is, I’ve seen a lot of movies about these isolated pacific islands. The volcano always goes off. It can be seen in the picture below, sending off smoke, obviously active.

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FOX NEWS PERSON WISHES OBAMA DEAD, SHOPLIFTER’S SHOES, MORGUE SUICIDE, MARRIED TO BERLIN WALL, AND MICHAEL JACKSON UFC

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FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT WISHES OBAMA DEAD!

I’m so angry right now it’s hard to even write this. What is wrong with people. During a guest analysis spot on Fox News, Washington Times correspondent Liz Trotta said she wished Barack Obama dead. If you haven’t seen this, a video clip is below. This happened during an analysis of Hillary Clinton’s  RFK faux paus the other day. I’m not an Obama supporter and this makes me angry. How can anyone WANT to see violence done on anyone, let alone a candidate. If you don’t like them you don’t vote for them. If the vote doesn’t go your way, that’s the way the game is played. You don’t wish them dead, or worse yet take matters into your own hands. Fox news, not fair and balanced, insane and weird. I worked as a journalist for nearly 30 years and I had an opinion about a lot of things but I always took care to keep it OUT of my reporting.  This is incredibly irresponsible and inflamatory. Liz Trotta, has of course lamely apologized on Fox calling it “an attempt at humor,” but the damage is still there. She said it and it’s out there. People listen to this network. For the life of me I don’t know why. I’m even doubly puzzled now. Fox has a responsibility and so does Trotta. You’re suppossed to report the news, not call for the death of one of the democratic candidates. She criticizes Hillary Clinton up and down, then says something like this and then tries to pass it off as humor in an apology. You’re a sick hippocrite, you should get professional help. You should be banned from the media, for life! The other thing that I find appalling is that U.S. media is NOT reporting this story. I actually found this story in British media who referred me to YouTube. The American media jumps all over Clinton for what may actually have been an honest error, but they ignore something from one of the foremost watched news networks. Fair and Balanced?

 

POLICE MAKE STORE OWNER GIVE BACK SHOES OF SHOPLIFTERS

 A liquor store owner in Durango, Colorado is tired of repeat offenders coming into his store and shoplifting. When he catches a shoplifter he makes them give him a shoe so they will be embarrassed and not come back. I think it is a very creative solution to an ongoing problem. The Durango police disagree. They have told him to knock it off or they are going to prosecute him for felony robbery. Now the shoe is on the other foot so to speak. Shoplifting is a misdemeanor which means that the store owner would be prosecuted harder than the thieves for protecting his store. That’s pretty backward. The owner, Gabe Fidanque, was ordered to return the shoes to their owners, if he can find them. Police Captain Micki Browning says the store owner should “find a different option that doesn’t involve giving up property.”  Findanque found that the thieves would return within hours of turning them over to police. “That’s the whole point of it. They’re too humiliated to come back and ask for their shoe, and that also means they won’t steal again,” Fidanque said. Let’s see the owner has found a non-violent solution to his problem that works and the police want to prosecute him for it. What is wrong with this picture?

MAN IN MORGUE FREEZER WITH DEAD GIRLFRIEND

A man in Taiwan has crawled inside a morgue freezer to try and commit suicide. Grieving over his girlfriend, he crawled into the compartment to be with her. He was found a half-hour later when workers noticed that the temperature in the freezer had gotten unusually high from an unlatched compartment. The girl had died from an overdose of sleeping pills. It appears that both of these folks were unstable. I feel bad for the morgue worker that had to deal with this.

WOMAN MARRIES BERLIN WALL

I wonder if this woman just couldn’t get a date. Eija-Ritta Berliner-Mauer, a 54-year-old woman from Liden, Sweden claims to have married the Berlin Wall back in 1979 and changed her surname to German for Berlin Wall. I wonder what priest performed this ceremony.  She says she finds objects more appealing than people and that she is convinced that she is not the only one that gets pleasure from the relationship. Yep, keep telling yourself that. How do you get concrete turned on. What if it calls you another wall’s name. “Harder harder, oh Great Wall of China you’re so good.” OK, I’m baffled with this. “I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy,” she says. OK, hot for concrete. That’s….different. So what’s this called cementaphilia? Since her “lover” was torn down after the cold war she keeps a model of the wall in her home. I guess at least you don’t have to listen to it complain. I hope she’s good at one sided conversations.

MICHAEL JACKSON LIKES ULTIMATE FIGHTING

Ok, I put this in because this is so stupid. Michael’s always so good for that. Saturday night he went to the UFC Tito Ortiz fight trying to be not noticed. He didn’t succeed. For one thing he arrived in a wheel chair and had his face covered in a shroud. Check out the photo below. I think looking like this would only attract attention. I know I’d be wondering who’s the yo-yo dressed like a dope. Arriving in the wheelchair isn’t real incognito either. Does that mean he got the handicapped parking? It seems to me he attracts more attention when he’s trying not to attract attention. The dude has issues. Is he a dude? I thought UFC is for people that actually have testosterone.