Archive for Richard

BAD POETRY, EBAY WIFE SALE, BARKLEY GAMBLES, AND TALKING VODKA

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 17, 2008 by mclassen

 BAD POETRY OUT SELLS HARRY POTTER 

 At an auction in Edinburough, Scotland 35 original poems of noted bad poet William Topaz McGonagall has out sold Harry Potter at an auction. A collector paid $12,840 for the self published 1890’s work. This proves that if you do something badly, it can still be profitable. Unfortuantely you’ll have to be dead for it to come to pass. The price paid beat out a collection of incribed Harry Potter books which were sold at the same auction for $12,000. McGonagall’s lack of talent was matched only by his delusion and ego. Along with the 35 poems were a portfolio of posters and two copies of his rather short autobiography – “dedicated to himself, knowing none greater.” McGonagall was so bad that he kept an umbrella with him during recitals to shield him from all the rotten tomatoes that were thrown at him. Ah, poetry lovers. The buyer has remained anonymous because he doesn’t want the ridicule of being identified as a fan. Personally, I’d be proud to show that I have a collection of the worst poetry known to mankind, but then, I like the Rocky Horror Picture show.

MAN TRIES TO SELL WIFE ON EBAY

Want to pick up a used…wife? High milage. Paul Osborn, a UK man, has tried to get rid of his wife by posting her for auction on Ebay! It’s official, you really can find anything on Ebay. Osborn found out his wife, Sharon was cheating on him with a co-worker. It was Osborn’s way of letting the world know she was an adulterous, lying, cheating, well, you get the idea. In the listing he suggest that people not bid on her as she’s apparently not worth diddly in his opinion. I can’t say as I blame him. He also has given out the name of her lover, Richard Drew who is also married along with his address, and phone number. Ebay was rather prompt in taking the auction down, probably because they weren’t going to make anything on the auction. Minimum bid, a pence. If he would have been able to complete the auction, it might have saved him some divorce costs. I wish I’d have thought of this for my Ex.

Man Tries to Ditch Cheating Wife on eBay

 

CHARLES BARKLEY GAMBLING DEBT

Wow, former NBA star Charles Barkley owes a casino in Vegas $400,000! Now I’m sure athletes are overpaid. People jump out of windows for things like that. The casino has made repeated calls to Barkley trying to get the debt paid, but he didn’t respond. It took a call from the local prosecutor to get him to own up. He now says he’ll pay the debt since he’s “not broke.” Did he think they were just going to forget about it? People have ended up in umarked graves for less. Over the years Barkley estimates he’s gambled away over $10 million. “Do I have a gambling problem? Yeah, I do have a gambling problem,” Barkley said. “But i don’t consider it a problem because I can afford to gamble.” Well, not paying your debts makes it look like you can’t afford it. Just remember if a couple of guys named Guido start hanging around, you HAVE a problem.

 DOES YOUR VODKA BOTTLE TALK?

 Do you drink alone? Do you prefer to be by yourself? Well, the Russians have come up with a cure for that. it’s the vodka bottle that talks back. The BBC is reporting that Russians are about to begin marketing a brand of vodka with a bottle that talks. I’ve always felt that if my bottle is talking, it’s time to go home. Welcome to the alcoholically induced world of microprocessors. You’ve got to love those crazy Russians. Yes, now you can have a drinking buddy in a bottle. Apparently when ever you open the top, it’s the top that talks, it will offer a variety of Russian toasts and encourage you to drink up. Personally I’ve never needed much encouragement. Now here’s the fun part. The more the top is opened the more the bottle’s speech becomes slurred. Yes your bottle gets drunk with you. The perfect date.  When the bottle’s empty, you’ve outdrank your buddy. Hopefully he’s not the one driving home.

HERE’S A TRIBUTE TO THOSE OF US THAT DRINK ALONE: TGIF!

 

HUGH HEFNER, MICHAEL VICK, REALLY BAD DAY, SKULL BONG AND SUPERHEROES

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 10, 2008 by mclassen

HUGH HEFNER WANTS MILEY CYRUS FOR PLAYBOY

Hugh Hefner has decided that Miley Cyrus would look good gracing the pages of Playboy. When she’s of legal age of course. He thinks she would be perfect for a pictorial. Says Hef: “Sure, she’d be welcomed in the magazine. Very pretty lady. And I think to make such a big to-do over something as innocent as those [Vanity Fair] photos, I think is a reflection on how schizophrenic America is about sexuality.” I think the whole thing has gotten creepy. Miley is turning out to be a 15-year old sex symbol. Definately creepy. It adds a new dimension to playmate of the month.

 

KHARMA AND LAWSUITS KEEP HAUNTING MICHAEL VICK

A judge just ordered Michael Vick to pay $2.4 million to a Canadian bank for a loan he defaulted on. The former Atlanta Falcon is also required to pay $499 in interest per day and the banks attorney’s fees totalling nearly $12,000.  Michael, you had it made and threw it all away. What goes around comes around. It’s Kharma baby!  By the way, how’s quarterbacking that prison team working out for you?

 EVER HAVE A REALLY BAD DAY?

Justin Hill was turning into his driveway and he ran into a car. His wife heard the crash and ran outside to see what it was all about leaving the stove going and the dinner on. Hill was hauled to the hospital as his house went up in flames. Then he was given the traffic ticket for failure to yield the right of way. Talk about insult to injury. It wasn’t even Friday the 13th.

SKULL BONG

Three teens in Texas have dug up a skull from an old grave and converted it into a marijuana bong. Kevin Wade Jones, Mathew and Richard Gonzales, all 17, dug up the grave of an 11 year old boy from 1921 in an abandoned cemetery, near Humble, Texas. They then took the skull and converted it into a pot bong. That’s just plain bad JuJu boys. The trio is being charged with corpse abuse. OK, I grew up in the 60’s, I’ve been stoned and in a cemetery, but it would never have occurred to me to “Hey man, let’s dig up some kid and make a bong out of his head.” I know I wouldn’t have been jumping on that bandwagon. I’m not usually a proponent of psychiatrists, but I’m making an exception in this case.

 IRONMAN, SPIDERMAN AND THE HULK

For those of you that saw Ironman and want to know what Marvel Studios has in store for the future, Here’s a glimpse.