Archive for Sandra

CHELSEA CLINTON, GUN OR GAS, JAILED POLITICIANS, BARE BUTT POSTER, AND MECHAPHILIA

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 23, 2008 by mclassen

 CHELSEA CLINTON – THE NEXT GENERATION?

In an exclusive interview with Bill Clinton in People Magazine, he’s asked would Chelsea ever consider a career in politics? This leaves some interesting prospects for the future. A Clinton dynasty? Well it’s got to be better than the one the Bush’s have handed us. Clinton had an interesting answer.  “Before Iowa, I would have said, ‘No way. She is too allergic to anything we do.’ But she is really good at it. It all changed after Iowa. She realized her mother lost Iowa 100 percent because of younger voters. She was upset, bawled, went to her employer and said, ‘Look, you got to let me go or give me an indefinite leave of absence. I’m not letting my mother go down like this.'” It appears that Chelsea has some of her mother’s tenacity and getting her mother’s back gets her big time points. Chelsea has been a continuing presence in Hillary’s campaign and has been dealing with some tough questions on some tough issues. In the People interview, Clinton called his daughter’s “emergence” the “second best thing” of the campaign, after his wife’s resiliency. The former President also made a comment about a press bias against Hillary. “I think most of the press people are in Obama’s demographic. They need a feeling more than they perceive they need a President. There have been times when I thought I was literally lost in a fun house.”  I’m not so sure he’s correct there, but he does go on to say about Obama, “I don’t know him very well. But, I do think it’s better to have made a lot of decisions before you get to be President.” This People interview is definately worth a read and it hits newstands today. Could Chelsea get a taste for politics? Could we be seeing the continuation of the Clinton influence on American politics for the future? It sounds awfully Kennedy to me.

NEW CAR DEAL – GUN OR GAS?

At a new car dealership in Butler, Missouri they are offering a bang-up special deal. You can put $250 to either get a new handgun or gas with any purchase through the end of the month. General Manager, Walter Moore of Max Motors says most people are opting for the handgun. He recommends the semi-automatic model because it holds more rounds.  That doesn’t surprise me, with the handgun you can get your gas for free. Moore says, “Down here, we all believe in God, guts and guns.” Well, this IS the state that gave us Frank and Jesse James.

GERMAN GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS LOCKED UP BY ACCIDENT

A group of German officials were locked away in a jail previously run by the East German Stasi, the former secret police. Thinking all visitors had left, staff closed up the memorial museum that was the Stasi’s main jail, and shut the high-ranking representatives from Germany‘s 16 states inside. I bet that brought on some unintentional enlightenment. “It was a misunderstanding,” said Siegfried Reiprich, deputy director of the complex in eastern Berlin, on Wednesday. I’m sure he was hoping that he wouldn’t be fired over the mixup. Realizing they were trapped, the group called the federal Chancellery late on Tuesday and urgently requested to be let out.  About half an hour later the officials were freed from the complex where political opponents of the East German regime were once interrogated by their captors. I wish some of our politicians would “accidentally” get locked away. Then just don’t answer the phone. Anybody up for a trip to Alcatraz?

 BRITISH MAN HAS BARE BUTT POSTERED AROUND TOWN

 Pasha Cummings of Seaford, England is the latest victim of the fury of a woman scorned. According to his recently exited wife, Carol, he had been cheating on her and she decided to get even. She had 200 posters of him printed and then posted all over town on lampposts, bus stops, and walls that shows him and his bare butt posing at a barbeque. I have to admit, that would be something that should come under a blight law. Beneath the ‘glamour shot’, the posters read: ‘Pasha Cummings: lying, cheating, two-timing arse! Sandra Beckworth is no better.’ Sandra is apparently the “other” woman. Carol exited the country for Cyprus immediately upon distribution of the controversial poster. People have come up with the most creative ways to slander each other lately. Youtube, Ebay, now this. They’re certainly being creative. What ever happened to keeping your dirty laundry behind closed doors.

MAN CLAIMS SEX WITH 1000 CARS

Never buy a used car from this man, “used” being the operative word here. Edward Smith has a sexual attraction for mechanical vehicles. I guess they wouldn’t complain if you’re not very good. Smith, 57, says he first had sex with a car at the age of 15 and has banged out the fenders of more than 1000. He claims he has never been attracted to women or men and cars are just his preference. OK, something went seriously wrong here. I’ve heard of having a passion for your cars but, this is a bit over the top. They even have a name for this: mechaphilia. He is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together through the Internet. Smith, who now lives with his current “girlfriend,” a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, said he has no desire to change his ways. Of course not, all his desire is aimed at this poor VW’s fender. “I’m not sick,” he said, “And I don’t want to hurt anyone.” That, may be a matter of opinion. If the car doesn’t start, does that mean no? Does he consider Herbie the Love Bug porn? This guy would be a riot at a NASCAR rally.

 LET’S GO TO THE VIDEO TAPE:

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ASTROLOGERS PREDICT ELECTION, FUTURE HOTEL, LOST PARROT, DREW CAREY’S PROMISE, AND FLYING PENIS

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 22, 2008 by mclassen

ASTROLOGERS PREDICT OBAMA WILL WIN

Well, we can all go home now. The astrologers have spoken, election’s over. At a conference in Denver, a group of astrologers did the charts for the presidential candidates. Six panelists predicted the election will go to Barack Obama, thanks to a Saturn-Jupiter conjunction which predicts change. That’s so precise. No matter who wins it means change. The seventh panelist, Shelley Ackerman, saw an Obama win, but worried about Neptune doing something funky in January, endangering his chances of actually taking office. Her colleagues agreed the stars did look dicey in this respect. Keep in mind this is Denver and the oxygen is a little thin there. “Obama’s chart and the United States’ chart are very much alike,” said Sandra Leigh Serio. “From an astrological standpoint, he’s a man of destiny. (John) McCain also has a strong connection to the U.S. chart.” Hillary Clinton? Not so much, apparently. “There’s a little more confusion with her and the U.S. chart,” Serio said. Confusion? I think the whole thing is confusing. The astrologers have left themselves a way out though. “We don’t have a single solid birth chart,” panelist Robert Hand told the crowd. “If those dates are wrong, everything I say is garbage.” And Serio said the panel was “doing this in the shadows of Mercury and Neptune — this might not have any validity at all in a few months.” I told you they had an excuse. Hand ominously noted there would be an eclipse of the sun in August, with Mercury ascending for George W. Bush. This seemed to portend election-day shenanigans. So, much for accuracy. Well, the planets are in line and the stars have spoken. Obama Wins. Now we can all stay home and call it quits.  I guess I’m not all that “star” struck with this. I’m voting anyway.

SHELLEY ACKERMAN – ASTROLOGER PANELIST

Astrologer Shelley Ackerman

 

HOTEL CHAIN’S FUTURE PLANS…ON THE MOON

A budget hotel company has decided to look ahead, way ahead. They are making plans for expansion on the moon and have already purchased a plot. I haven’t found out where it is located or who they bought it from. Who does the moon actually belong to? Premier Inns says it will be welcoming travellers right off the space shuttle within 25 years. They feel that lunar tourism will be common in the next 20 to 30 years and they want to be prepared. ‘The challenges are unique and no doubt as we learn more we will adapt and improve our designs,’ said the company’s construction director, Alex Flach. Challenges are right, less gravity, no air, no McDonalds…yet. I think I still prefer the Carribean.

TEACH YOUR PARROT HOW TO GET HOME

A lost African Gray Parrot named Yosuke has been returned to his owners in Tokyo, Japan because of an unusual trick. The Nakamura family had spent nearly two years teaching the bird their, name and home address including the street number. Police had found the bird on a rooftop and had brought it to the police station, but the bird wasn’t about to spill to the cops. This bird knew his rights and remained silent. It was when Yosuke was turned over to a veterinarian that he began to sing. Actually hekept everybody at the vet’s entertained with his singing. But, in between tunes, he recited his owner’s name and address. They checked and sure enough Yosuke’s owners were there and grateful to get their parrot back. You see, it pays to educate your pets. Yosuke’s mug shot is below.

Yosuke the parrot rests in his cage at his home in Nagareyama ... 

 

DREW CAREY’S PROMISE TO SOCCER FANS

Drew Carey has become part owner in the Seattle Sounders, a new Major League Soccer team. Even though he is a minor owner, it hasn’t stopped him from rattling a few trees right off the get go. Carey is promising season ticket holders that they can fire the team’s general manager once every four years if they don’t like how the team is doing. It’ll be interesting to see how this pans out. Fans with power over your job is a scary thing. Personally I think this would make it hard to get a good manager but I can also see the appeal from a fan perspective. Well, we’ll see how long this lasts. And we’ll see how long it is before the other owners dump Drew.
  

ATTACK OF THE FLYING PENIS

Those crazy Russians are at it again. At a political rally in Russia, a thus far unique kind of disruption occurred. Young Russian activists turned loose a modified radio controlled helicopter. It had become a flying penis. Yes folks it was a flying dick. It made It’s rather disrupting appearance during an address being given by Russian Premier Kasparov, who to his credit took it in stride as best he could. I suspect vodka was involved in the creation of this strange little device. One of Kasparov’s bodyguards risked life and limb and slapped the menacing penis to the floor and then stomped on it. There might be something Freudian in that. If there was a political message attached to this, it was too obscure for me to get it.

flying penis