CAPTAIN CALAMITY INDEPENDENCE, MY INTERVIEW, COPS CRAZY RIDE, SOCCER PLAYER BITES REFEREE, AND DWARF SOCCER TEAM

STUART HILL DECLARES SHETLAND ISLAND INDEPENDENCE

The Shetland Islands off the coast of Scotland are part of the United Kingdom. Or are they. Stuart Hill doesn’t believe they are and is moving to set up his 2.5 acre Forvik Island, he’s the only resident, as an independent dependency. I know this sounds crazy but, it may just be crazy like a fox. Follow me here for a minute.  Captain Calamity, as he’s also known, because he shipwrecked on the island and never left, has been doing some research. Hill’s claim dates back to a 15th century arrangement between the Norwegian King Christian and King James III of Scotland when the Shetland Islands were effectively pawned to King James in lieu of a marriage dowry. According to Hill’s studies of the history of the island, in 1669 King Charles II re-confirmed Shetland’s status at the time of the pawning, meaning the islands remained directly answerable to the crown — represented today by the Queen. “The monarchs and governments of Scotland, and Great Britain and the United Kingdom have for many years assumed powers over these islands of Shetland to which they were not entitled,” he wrote. “By declaring Forvik a crown dependency I am simply re-establishing the correct legal relationship between this part of Shetland and the crown.” Now, here’s the crazy like a fox part of the deal. You see, there’s oil in them there waters. North sea oil and it’s in the Shetland’s boundary waters. If Hill can get the rest of the Shetland’s to join with him and they succeed, all of those oil revenues would go into the independent coffers of the islands and not Britain! Mr Hill said Shetland would reap all the benefits from North Sea oil if the 22,000 strong island community follow his example. “If the oil revenues would go straight into a Shetland bank, the isles would be in a totally different position. Once we have established the ownership of the seabed around Shetland, we can go to the oil companies and tell them where to bring the oil ashore. It is our oil.The worst thing that could happen is that people just ignore me. But I think I am sufficiently abrasive from this position for people to take note and to realise that the advantages of what I am doing could be very attractive to Shetland as a whole. Soon after I arrived in Shetland I started researching the isles’ constitutional position. It is the kind of job Shetlanders simply are not interested in, but I am hopeful they will be interested when they see the advantages that it can bring.” He says on his website that he plans to create Forvik’s own currency, the “gulde” print his own stamps and raise his own flag. “There will be no income tax, VAT (value added tax), council tax, corporation tax, or any of the other taxes instituted by the British government,” Hill wrote. Crazy Idea? I’m not so sure. You say you want a revolution? You may just have one. http://www.forvik.com 

 

TOOTING MY OWN HORN

I was tagged for an interview request as a blogger. I’ve been interviewed before as a writer but this is the first time for blogging. I was sent a comment through this blog requesting the interview from the Pakistani Spectator who was doing a series on bloggers and blogging. They sent me a list of questions to which they printed the answers unedited! Being a writer I’m more used to being edited than not and I’m always a bit surprised when things appear untouched. The interview can be found here: http://www.pakspectator.com/interview-with-blogger-mclassen/ for those that might be interested. There are also several other interviews with bloggers here as well, each with some interesting perspectives on blogging. Check it out and find out a little more about who’s behind the blogs.

 DRUNK DRIVER TAKES COP FOR RIDE OF HIS LIFE

This sounds like something you would see in a bad action movie. Picture this, a drunk Russian driver is careening down the street. He hits a traffic cop clipping him on the arm. Not a good idea. The cop somehow grabs onto the car and clings onto the car roof. They continue on down the street like this. Now, this must have been one together cop because he managed to get out his gun, fire off eight shots and still hang onto the car. Now that’s talent baby. The driver stopped finally after the cop fired off the rounds. They had driven a little over a half-mile like this. Of course the driver has been arrested. The cop sustained only minor injuries to his arm.

SOCCER PLAYER BITES REFEREE

It appears that some people take their game play way too seriously. Rannord A. Jones who plays for a Newark, Delaware soccer team  was red flagged by a referee. The two got into a name calling altercation which resulted in Jones attacking the Ref. He bit him on the chin causing considerable injury. Shades of Mike Tyson. There’s nothing like a little good sportsmanship. Police charged Jones with several offenses, including assault and terroristic threatening. Said Police Cpl. Trinidad Navarro, “The player was so enraged that he just savagely attacked the official, biting him almost in an animal manner about the chin.” I hope Jones has had his rabies shots. Hopefully we won’t be seeing him playing in any more games.

GIANTS OF THE NORTH, BRAZILIAN DWARF SOCCER TEAM

ROSIE SWALE POPE GLOBAL RUN, ENGAGEMENT INDIGESTION, STOLEN CAR PAROLE REPORT, TERMINATOR PROTOTYPE, AND THE GREAT OFFICE WAR

ROSIE SWALE POPE HAS NEARLY RUN AROUND THE WORLD! 

Are you ready for an adventure. It’s gratifying to know that there are those out there that can still find it in this modern world. Most of this article was taken directly from the London Times article. I didn’t feel I could improve on it. Enjoy: After making her way alone across some of the world’s most inhospitable terrain, suffering frostbite, double pneumonia and a breast cancer scare, Rosie Swale-Pope, 61, is now believed to be on the verge of becoming the first person both to sail and run around the world. She confirmed last night that she had checked with Guinness World Records, which had said it had no record of anyone having achieved the double feat. As Rosie Swale, she achieved fame in the 1970s as a round-the-world yachtswoman, causing a stir by sailing through the Tropics in the nude. On her latest venture she was nearly swept to her death in a river in Siberia, and almost froze at minus 62C (-79F) in Alaska. On one night she was confronted by a man wielding an axe; on another she was taught by two convicted murderers how to light fires in the rain. But after wearing out 45 pairs of shoes in more than 240 weeks of running, Ms Swale-Pope was delighted to be home. “It’s fantastic to be back on British soil,” she said, adding that she hopes to be back in Tenby, West Wales, on August 25, 1,789 days after she set out in October 2003. “The most important priority now is to run the last 700 or 800 miles, and then to keep honour with this journey by writing a book.” Her latest adventure began on her 57th birthday after the death of her husband from prostate cancer, in an attempt to raise awareness of the disease. After running across Europe, spending two winters in Siberia and crossing the United States, Canada, Greenland and Iceland, she caught a ferry to Scrabster in Scotland that arrived at 5am yesterday. Ms Swale-Pope, who has two children and two grandchildren, carries all her possessions, either in a backpack or a cart, which she pulls by a harness around her waist. Her many marriage proposals were probably from men who fancied the cart, not me, she joked. “I think most of them were simply because I looked strong and handy for hauling logs and things. I had nine in Poland alone.” In the US, where she found a lump in her breast but a biopsy gave her a clean bill of health, her trek caught the public imagination and she received an invitation to speak on The Martha Stewart Show. But her most memorable experiences included seeing the Northern Lights after several days of snow blindness, and being run at by an axe-man one night in Siberia. She recalled: “Suddenly there was a crashing noise and a wild-eyed man burst through the trees running towards me. I decided to stand my ground and before I could do anything he had grabbed me by the shoulder and I was enveloped in a vodka-smelling bear hug. It turned out that he was a woodsman and he was having a vodka party. He turned out to be quite OK, just a little worse for wear.” In Russia, where the Siberian cold cracked all her fillings, she discovered that she had double pneumonia when she was taken to hospital after being hit by a bus. In eastern Siberia a pack of wolves followed her for a week. “I just behaved as if I was the boss. In the end I was grateful for their company.” Despite her arduous journey, Ms Swale-Pope said that she needed no time off and would head for Wales without delay. “The purpose of my journey has been to highlight the preciousness of life,” she said. “I had to do something and this was a small thing really… just putting one foot in front of the other.”

This was a feat I felt that deserved recognition. This is amazing at any age. Congratulations Rosie. Learn more about Rosie at: www.rosiearoundtheworld.co.uk

 

FIANCEE SWALLOWS ENGAGEMENT RING

OK, here’s another bad idea from the chapter on “what I shouldn’t do when I propose.” Chen Lee proposed to his fiancee with a ring hidden in a cake. He thought it would be romantic, original, clever. Not. But Wang Lu, 26, stole a nibble when he wasn’t looking and ate the ring. Oops, fortunately diamonds, don’t digest. “She was quite angry at first and said I was stupid,” said Chen, of Fujian province in China. “But once the doctors had taken the ring out she forgave me and said she would marry me.” Nothing like a little emergency room treatment to up the romance level. Alls well that doesn’t have to be digested. 

MAN REPORTS TO PAROLE OFFICER IN STOLEN CAR

Picture this, you’re out on parole and you have to report to your parole officer. How do you get there? Walk? take a bus? How about a stolen car? Well, that’s what Marcus George of Pine Bluff, Arkansas did. He was released on parole last week on, yep, you guessed it, burglary and theft convictions. George and a friend went to a Pine Bluff dealership, where they took a Toyota on a test drive and didn’t return it. i wonder how long the salesman stood there before he realized he’d been duped? The pair also reportedly stole a Dodge Charger from a dealership in Sherwood, which incidentally was the car George was driving when he showed up to meet with his parole officer in Pine Bluff. At least he had good taste in cars. A charger, cool. George was immediately arrested at the parole office. Not so cool. Oh well, it’s better to keep people that stupid off the streets anyway.

PROTOTYPE FOR A TERMINATOR?

You almost have to wonder, which comes first the chicken or the egg. Particularly in this case. Does science fiction spawn the ideas that become science fact or would we have gotten there anyway and the fiction writer was able to envision the future. It’s an interesting premise, but right now a company called IRobot, famous for having created the household robot sweeper has teamed up with a company called Metal Storm, known for their creation of the million rounds per minute gun, to create a robot that will go in ahead of soldiers and robotically clean out the enemy.  The as yet unnamed war bot is being marketed for “border patrol” and “crowd control” scenarios, although other military situations are also under consideration. Using these things for crowd control is a frightening application. “We want our soldiers to have the option of controlling a robot that could go ahead and investigate, engage or deter an enemy and not put human soldiers at risk,” said a spokesman for Metal Storm who wished to remain anonymous. The Metal Storm/iRobot robot can be equipped with a variety of weapons, from non-lethal rubber bullets to grenade launchers. As many as 12 different Metal Storm weapons can be put onto the iRobot platform at the same time, said a Metal Storm spokesman. Does it say “I’ll be back?” or “Hasta la viesta, baby?” This new war bot will likely soon join the existing ranks of military robots deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan. The U.S. military has used various war bots, from both iRobot and its competitor Foster-Miller, for years, primarily to diffuse bombs and other unexploded ordinances. Next thing you know we’ll be hearing about a new computer system called Skynet. Why am I getting a shiver up my spine?

To see this creation click this link: http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2008/06/19/terminator-zoom.html

THE GREAT OFFICE WAR

AMY WINEHOUSE RACIST CRACK VIDEO, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN OPERA, MONKEY GOD CHAIRMAN, AND METAL BAR BOY

AMY WINEHOUSE’S RACIST CRACK VIDEO

A video has been released showing Amy Winehouse in a crack dive singing racist songs. Now this isn’t much of a revelation since most of us already knew she was on crack. The interesting thing about his video is that she may be prosecuted for it. The video which was filmed by her husband Blake in 2007, currently in jail, showed the troubled singer sitting by a table, spread with what has been reported as heroin and drug paraphernalia. Actually, I’m surprised she hasn’t used it in one of her music videos. “Why I’m not going to rehab no, no, no.” This evidence has come into light just days after Britain’s top police officer, Sir Ian Blair, called for celebrities caught snorting drugs on camera to be put on trial. Since the evidence is so ovewherlming in Winehouse’s case she may become a test for Blair’s theory. “My position is that a sensible jury would not expect people to be sniffing talcum powder.” Recently the star has been getting publicity as going to rehab and getting her life back in order, though I for one am not buying her reformed attitude. The video shows exactly how much of a disaster she is. But this new kink in the life of bizzarro Amy certainly could put her back into tailspin mode. She has been making noise about wanting to be a mommy so she can join the ranks of Michael Jackson and Brittney Spears as disfuntional celebrities that should never be allowed to reproduce. Can you see her and Blake trying to raise a kid. It makes you shudder.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN – THE OPERA?

Here’s a genius concept. Let’s turn Brokeback Mountain into an opera. Yes, plans are in the works to convert the academy award winning film into an opera. I can hardly wait, singing cowboys, yuck. The New York City Opera commissioned Charles Wuorinen to compose an opera based on “Brokeback Mountain,” the 1997 short story by Annie Proulx. “Ever since encountering Annie Proulx’s extraordinary story I have wanted to make an opera on it, and it gives me great joy that Gerard Mortier and New York City Opera have given me the opportunity to do so,” Wuorinen said in a statement. They’re aiming for a release date of 2013. Hey aren’t people saying the world will end in 2012? Well maybe that’s the bright side to that, we won’t have to put up with this opera.

COLLEGE INSTATES MONKEY GOD AS CHAIRMAN

I’m not sure how good of an idea this is.  Hanuman, the popular god known for his strength and valor, has been named official chairman of the recently opened Sardar Bhagat Singh College of Technology and Management in northern India, a school official said Saturday. Has anyone looked at his resume. He’s a monkey god! Monkeys like mischief, not business. “It is our belief that any job that has the blessings of Lord Hanuman is bound to be a success,” said Vivek Kangdi. Blessing, yes, actually running the show, not well thought out. The position comes with an incense-filled office, a desk and a laptop computer. Four chairs will be placed facing the empty seat reserved for the chairman and all visitors must enter the office barefoot, said Kangdi, the school’s vice chairman. It seems to me it is going to make it awfully hard to get any decisions here. “When we were looking for a chairman for our institution, we scanned many big names in the field of technology and management. Ultimately, we settled for Lord Hanuman, as none was bigger than him,” Kangdi said. I think next time they should consider an employment service. Though I expect the monkey god works for bananas.

METAL BAR IN MAN’S HEAD

Donovan McGowan lived with the piece of metal inside him for three months after an operation. You would think he’d have done something about this sooner. It’s not like you can’t notice this. The 18-year-old suffered from blinding headaches and also had an unsightly lump on the side of his head. Eventually, he demanded a scan and it was then doctors found the bar. Duh, It’s right there. They said, “This is quite embarrassing but there is something metallic like a tube still in your head. It’s been more than embarrassing for me having to walk about with this lump,” said Mr McGowan, from Glasgow,Scotland. I bet it made it hard to pick up girls. The rod was left behind during an operation at Southern General Hospital, Glasgow, in March after he was hit by a car. From his picture he looks like still has part of the fender in his head.

CONDOLEEZA RICE MEETS KISS, THONG THIEVES, EMPTY HOUSE SHOOTOUT, AMAZON LOST TRIBE, AND MODERN ROBINSON CRUSOE

CONDOLEEZA RICE JOINS THE KISS ARMY

Who knew the Secretary of State was a Kiss fan. While in Stockholm, Sweden she decided to “Let her hair down” and take in a show with the aging rockers.  “I was thrilled,” Rice said of her late-night encounter with Kiss’ Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer in the executive lounge of the Sheraton Hotel where they signed autographs and handed out backstage passes and T-shirts to her staff. Late night encounter? This sounds like more than a passing fancy. I can’t wait for the tell-all book on that one. “It was really fun to meet Kiss and Gene Simmons,” she told reporters, noting that they seemed well-informed about current events. The band had asked if she could stop by after she finished dinner with the Swedish foreign minister and Rice readily agreed, she said. When Kiss beacons, she comes? Wow, how does that rate? I didn’t know they had that kind of power. Rice, a classically trained pianist, said she has eclectic musical tastes ranging from Beethoven to Bruce Springsteen. Kiss is apparently one of them. Rice said her favorite Kiss tune is “Rock and Roll All Nite.” I’m sorry, I have a hard time picturing her Rock and Rolling all night and partying everyday. Is there something about her we don’t know. Has she been hiding this closet nightlife? Could she be a mosh-pitter?

 

ROBBERS USE WOMEN’S THONGS FOR MASKS

In Arvada, Colorado, police are searching for two men who robbed a convenience store. instead of useing masks, they decided to use women’s thongs to hide their identities. The two apparent panty sniffers wandered through the store and then went up and demanded money and cigarettes from the clerk. I wonder if she kept a straight face during all of this? The two were unarmed. That’s right, they didn’t even take guns. The two left the store still wearing the thongs on their heads. They actually went out in public like that.

POLICE ATTACK EMPTY HOUSE

Police suspected that criminals from a post office robbery were hiding out in a house in Conset, England. They laid siege to the house for four hours trying to get the suspects to come out with their hands up. Finally the cops gave up and entered the house with dogs. The house was empty. Yep, no one home. So much for that reputed brilliant criminal deduction we’ve heard so much about. Elementary? 

LOST TRIBE DISCOVERED IN BRAZIL

 This is like something out of Indiana Jones. Deep in the Amazon Jungle, a plane flying over Brazil co\aught these images of a previously uncontacted tribe near the Peruvian border along the Envira river. According to authorities, the tribe looks healthy and thriving. They are located in what is called an Ethno-Environmental Protected Area. There are nearly 100 uncontacted tribes in this region and officials strive to keep them that way. “These pictures are further evidence that uncontacted tribes really do exist,” Survival director Stephen Corry said. “The world needs to wake up to this, and ensure that their territory is protected in accordance with international law. Otherwise, they will soon be made extinct.” I like knowing there are still things in the world we know nothing about and that there are a few mysteries left out there. Think of it, a culture with no cellphones, internet, or cable TV.

 

EXPLORER TO LIVE 300 DAYS ALONE ON AN ISLAND

A French explorer and adventurer Xavier Rosset has decided he is going to live for nearly a year on the remote isolated island of Tofua in the pacific. He intends to turn his adventure into a documentary of a modern day Robinson Crusoe. Tofua is only 30 miles away from where the mutiny on the HMS Bounty took place. Suppossedly Captain Bligh landed there after Spencer Christian set him and his men adrift searching for water.  One of Bligh’s men was buried there. Rosset has picked an interesting place to stay.  The only things he’s taking with him is a Swiss army knife, machete, video camera and solar panels for charging batteries for the camera. I have to admit, I’m a little envious on this one. Nearly a year with no phone, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury. He intends to build a shelter, find fish and plants for food, and gather rainwater for drinking. Sounds like he has this all thought out. Only problem is, I’ve seen a lot of movies about these isolated pacific islands. The volcano always goes off. It can be seen in the picture below, sending off smoke, obviously active.

BAD POETRY, EBAY WIFE SALE, BARKLEY GAMBLES, AND TALKING VODKA

 BAD POETRY OUT SELLS HARRY POTTER 

 At an auction in Edinburough, Scotland 35 original poems of noted bad poet William Topaz McGonagall has out sold Harry Potter at an auction. A collector paid $12,840 for the self published 1890’s work. This proves that if you do something badly, it can still be profitable. Unfortuantely you’ll have to be dead for it to come to pass. The price paid beat out a collection of incribed Harry Potter books which were sold at the same auction for $12,000. McGonagall’s lack of talent was matched only by his delusion and ego. Along with the 35 poems were a portfolio of posters and two copies of his rather short autobiography – “dedicated to himself, knowing none greater.” McGonagall was so bad that he kept an umbrella with him during recitals to shield him from all the rotten tomatoes that were thrown at him. Ah, poetry lovers. The buyer has remained anonymous because he doesn’t want the ridicule of being identified as a fan. Personally, I’d be proud to show that I have a collection of the worst poetry known to mankind, but then, I like the Rocky Horror Picture show.

MAN TRIES TO SELL WIFE ON EBAY

Want to pick up a used…wife? High milage. Paul Osborn, a UK man, has tried to get rid of his wife by posting her for auction on Ebay! It’s official, you really can find anything on Ebay. Osborn found out his wife, Sharon was cheating on him with a co-worker. It was Osborn’s way of letting the world know she was an adulterous, lying, cheating, well, you get the idea. In the listing he suggest that people not bid on her as she’s apparently not worth diddly in his opinion. I can’t say as I blame him. He also has given out the name of her lover, Richard Drew who is also married along with his address, and phone number. Ebay was rather prompt in taking the auction down, probably because they weren’t going to make anything on the auction. Minimum bid, a pence. If he would have been able to complete the auction, it might have saved him some divorce costs. I wish I’d have thought of this for my Ex.

 

CHARLES BARKLEY GAMBLING DEBT

Wow, former NBA star Charles Barkley owes a casino in Vegas $400,000! Now I’m sure athletes are overpaid. People jump out of windows for things like that. The casino has made repeated calls to Barkley trying to get the debt paid, but he didn’t respond. It took a call from the local prosecutor to get him to own up. He now says he’ll pay the debt since he’s “not broke.” Did he think they were just going to forget about it? People have ended up in umarked graves for less. Over the years Barkley estimates he’s gambled away over $10 million. “Do I have a gambling problem? Yeah, I do have a gambling problem,” Barkley said. “But i don’t consider it a problem because I can afford to gamble.” Well, not paying your debts makes it look like you can’t afford it. Just remember if a couple of guys named Guido start hanging around, you HAVE a problem.

 DOES YOUR VODKA BOTTLE TALK?

 Do you drink alone? Do you prefer to be by yourself? Well, the Russians have come up with a cure for that. it’s the vodka bottle that talks back. The BBC is reporting that Russians are about to begin marketing a brand of vodka with a bottle that talks. I’ve always felt that if my bottle is talking, it’s time to go home. Welcome to the alcoholically induced world of microprocessors. You’ve got to love those crazy Russians. Yes, now you can have a drinking buddy in a bottle. Apparently when ever you open the top, it’s the top that talks, it will offer a variety of Russian toasts and encourage you to drink up. Personally I’ve never needed much encouragement. Now here’s the fun part. The more the top is opened the more the bottle’s speech becomes slurred. Yes your bottle gets drunk with you. The perfect date.  When the bottle’s empty, you’ve outdrank your buddy. Hopefully he’s not the one driving home.

HERE’S A TRIBUTE TO THOSE OF US THAT DRINK ALONE: TGIF!