Archive for sheriff

SHAKESPEARE’S CURSE, HARD ROCK BEAR, SHARON STONE, NUDE MAID, AND MILLION DOLLAR TOY

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2008 by mclassen

 SHAKESPEARE’S CURSE

Old Bill Shakespeare may have taken himself too seriously. He laid a curse on his own grave in an effort to keep himself from being dug up. It’s said he penned it himself. He probably didn’t want to turn up as Yorick’s skull in Hamlet. The curse goes like this and is placed at the head of his grave: “Blest be the man that spares these stones, And curst be he that moves my bones.” Which brings us to the current problem. The old bard’s grave needs rennovation. The stones above his grave have started flaking from four hundred years of traffic in the Holy Trinity Church in Stratford-Upon-Avon. A work order has been issued that says “fix the stones but don’t touch the bones. “We’re avoiding the curse,” said Josephine Walker, a spokeswoman for the Friends of Shakespeare’s Church group. “We are not lifting the stones, we are not looking underneath, and the curse is for the bones underneath, so the curse is irrelevant for this work.” “It’s our wish that we conserve this without anyone knowing we were there,” said architect Ian Stainburn, who is working on the project. “We want to conserve it as it is and slow down the natural process of decay but we don’t want to recut it. It’s really a challenge.” I bet it is, especially if you’re trying not to anger a ghost. I can see where it would be difficult to work with a ghost quoting olde English pentameter at you all day. “We get 100,000 tourists a year, but they don’t walk on the stones,” Walker said. “But the clergy have to when they give communion, and the stones are flaking away, the surfaces are coming off. Shakespeare was baptised in the church in1564. Hopefully things will go well and Shakespeare will remain where he is, but then again, it might be interesting having William wandering around. “Bubble, Bubble, toil and trouble…”

 

BEAR VACATIONS AT HARD ROCK HOTEL

At Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida, a black bear was seen taking a dip in the pool at the Hard Rock Hotel. Bears like to vacation too.  A security guard called police when he spotted the bear on one of his video monitors. I guess the bear didn’t have a reservation. The animal then proceeded to roam the grounds sight-seeing and in general enjoying himself. There’s no report on how he rated the hotel pool or the service. The hotel has not been evacuated and the black bear is still vacationing somewhere in the vicinity. Maybe he went to see if he could catch a couple of the rides. It’s the off season in Florida and he shouldn’t have to wait in line too long.

 SHARON STONE PRIS?

Has anyone noticed how Sharon Stone looks like the Darryl Hannah character, Pris the psychotic android from Blade Runner? Why would anyone look like that on purpose? That’s karma Sharon!

Sharon Stone Banned From China

NUDE MAID CLEANS OUT HOUSE

 I know it’s hard to believe but once in a while, when you get something off the internet, it just might be a scam. Hmm, imagine that. That’s what happened to a man in Tampa, Florida. His wife was away, so he thought he’d play. He hired a maid off a website that would come to his house and clean it in the nude. She cost $100 an hour. Sheriff’s office spokeswoman Debbie Carter said the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean. It appears he had only hired her for the show. When his wife returned home, she discovered $40,000 worth of jewelry had run off with the maid. I bet he’s in some deep do-do. Some guys you just can’t leave by themselves.

PERSIAN RELIC FOUND IN SHOE BOX

If you have an old shoe box under your bed, check it. You might get lucky. That’s what happened to John Webber. He remembered and old cup his grandfather gave him to play with when he was a kid and decided to see if it was worth something. The first estimates are placing the value of his childhood toy at a cool million dollars. He assumed the golden cup, which is decorated with the heads of two women facing in opposite directions, their foreheads garlanded with two knotted snakes, was made from brass. But he decided to get it valued when he was moving last year and was told it was actually a rare piece of ancient Persian treasure, beaten out of a single sheet of gold hundreds of years before the birth of Jesus Christ. That’s better than a winning lottery ticket. Webber is from England and the “toy” will go up for auction in June at Duke’s in Dorchester. Webber, 70, said that his grandfather had a “good eye” for antiques and picked up “all sorts” as he plied his trade in the town of Taunton in south-west England. “Heaven knows where he got this, he never said,” he added, revealing that as a child, he used the cup for target practice with his air gun. That was an expensive target.

Handout images showing the front and side views of a gold cup ...

PRIMARIES, PRE-TEEN DRUNK DRIVER, GOLD BURGER, SEPTAGENARIAN MOUNTAIN CLIMBER, AND URINAL VIDEO GAME

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 21, 2008 by mclassen

 OBAMA AND CLINTON SPLIT VICTORIES

Once again, the two dueling democratic candidates split primaries and came out fighting. Barack Obama has moved within 100 delegates of officially taking the nomination, but Clinton had another very lopsided victory in Kentucky. Like she has been right along, Hillary vows to stay in the race to the bitter end. She’s not giving up and wants the country to know it. Clinton won at least 47 delegates in the two states and Obama won at least 32, according to an analysis of election returns by The Associated Press. So far Clinton has actually gained more delegates than Obama and trimmed his lead. All the Kentucky delegates were awarded, but there were still 24 to be allocated in Oregon, and Obama was in line for many of them. As the primary season comes to an end, it is beginning to appear that neither candidate will actually have a decisive amount for the convention. Though many, including Obama are claiming he has the nomination sewed up, there still could be some surprises. Somehow I keep feeling, his overconfidence is going to come back and bite him. There are some very strong calls for Clinton to stay in, particulary from the Women’s voter base. They’re taking out ads encouraging Clinton and trying to raise more money and support. This one certainly is not going to be over until the former First Lady sings. Or her husband plays sax.

Barack Obama, May 20

Hillary Clinton giving victory speech in Kentucky

CHILD ARRESTED FOR DRUNK DRIVING

 This story is just wrong on so many levels. An Arkansas pre-teen faces a drunken driving charge after he and a friend drank his parents’ beer and crashed his stepfather’s pickup truck. Sheriff Jimmy Dorney said the 12-year-old boy and his 10-year-old friend drove off in the truck May 4 to find a girl they met at a rodeo. Ok, drunk adolescents chasing an adolescent girl. This is seriously backwoods south cliche. The boys made it about 10 miles before the 12-year-old lost control of the truck. Dorney said the truck hit and jumped over a guardrail, sending it careening 50 feet down a steep hill into a forest. Clark James, who lives down the road from the crash site, said he answered the boys’ banging at his front door with shotgun in hand about 2:30 a.m. “I opened the door and the first thing the boy said to me was, ‘I’m drunk and I had a wreck,'” James said. “I looked at him and I thought ‘You’re kind of young to be out drinking. And you sure shouldn’t be driving.'” Well that’s a no brainer. No one was paying attention to these kids? Was there a NASCAR race somewhere?

NEW YORK RESTAURANT TOPS BURGER IN GOLD

 A good burger is one of my favorite things, but this is a bit over the top-pings. A Manhattan restaurant is offering a hamburger that costs $175 and is topped with gold. And I complain about a $6.00 burger. It’s made of Kobe beef. It comes with black truffles, foie gras and Gruyere cheese in addition to gold flakes. What, no mayo? This shows you how gourmet I am, I’ve never heard of any of this crap other than gold, and I’m not about to eat that.  Wall Street Burger Shoppe co-owner Heather Tierney thinks of it as “a work of art.” Tierney says the item attracts Wall Street types who down a few beers and then fork over $175 to show off to their friends. you’d think if they can afford that much for their burger, they’d have something to drink a little more stylish than a brew.

75 YEAR OLD ATTEMPTS MOUNT EVEREST

75-year-old Yuichiro Miura of Japan is trying to be the oldest man to ever reach the summit of Mount Everest. This is one guy who doesn’t believe in growing old gracefully. He is accompanied by his son, Gota. Yuichiro is a professional skier who in 1970 became the first person to ski down Mount Everest using a parachute as a brake. Miura was into extreme sports before it was popular. He was diagnosed a few years ago with a heart arrhythmia. He says his greatest challenge is how his heart will hold up. Well, if he doesn’t make it. I have no doubt that he going to give it his best shot. No rocking chairs for him!

URINAL VIDEO GAME FOR TWO

The Belgians have come up with a solution for what to do when you are using the urinal in the public bathroom. It’s the urinal video game for two. Two beer fans out there have created a video game called “Place to Pee,” in which players race down ski slopes and kill aliens while whizzing. Apparently how you aim is how you play the game. Sensors inside the urinal keeps your game tally. The game is the creation of software developer Werner Dupont and electrical engineer Bart Geraets, who had consumed considerable beer when the idea dawned on them. There’s a revelation. They probably figured out the specs on a beer coaster. Now you don’t have to experience that uncomfortable silence when standing next to someone in the bathroom. Play with them instead. See how well you can score.  Ladies, you don’t have to feel left out. They’ve invented a special cup attachment just for you.