Archive for Springs

TRAFFIC TICKET SURCHARGE, WEDDING BELL BRAWLS, CONTROLLING WEATHER, PYTHON GUARD SNAKE, AND HULA HOOP ANNIVERSARY

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 19, 2008 by mclassen

 POLICE PAYING FOR GAS THROUGH TRAFFIC TICKETS

The police have found a way to add insult to injury. Are you ready for this? They’re going to tack on a surcharge to your traffic tickets to help pay for the gas. I thought my taxes already did that. Now they’re going to get us coming and going. That’s exactly what they’re doing in Holly Springs, Georgia and if this works, it won’t be long and others will follow their shining example. Drivers caught speeding in this north Atlanta suburb soon will have to pay an extra $12 – to cover $4-a-gallon gas costs for the police officers who stop them. The City Council passed the fee hike, effective July 1, to offset fuel prices that have eaten up nearly 60% of the police department’s 2008 fuel budget, Police Chief Ken Ball says. I suppose all those frivilous stops at the donut shop don’t mean anything do they? He expects the fee increase, which applies to all moving violations and can be rescinded if gas prices fall below $3 a gallon, to generate $19,500 to $26,000 a year for the town of 7,700. Ball says he was seeking ways to maintain patrols despite record high gas prices. “I was hearing that Delta Air Lines, pizza deliverers, florists were adding fuel charges to their services, and I thought, why not police departments?” he says. Well, unlike those commercial businesses, police departments are tax funded so they are suppossed to stay within their budgets. Other cities could follow. Ball says he’s being “inundated” by calls from police chiefs and city managers. “I’ve heard from at least a dozen police chiefs and half a dozen city managers,” he says of the measure passed Monday night. “They want to know how we did it, and could we send them a copy of the ordinance.” See, I said this would spread like a bad virus. Tell me this isn’t going to make them work for their ticket quotas. I can see now how they will be telling the car patrols to make sure they hand out enough to cover their costs. “Get out there, be safe and bring in lots of money. 

Policeman and motorists

WHEN WEDDINGS GO BAD

This reminds me of the old westerns where someone throws one puch and then everybody gets in on the act.In Newburgh, New York, a dispute over a camera at a wedding party turned into a 100-person melee which spilled into the parking lot outside of the Ramada Inn where it was being held. Two people were treated at a hospital afterward for stab wounds including the disc jockey who was stabbed in the back of the neck. Tough gig, you should’ve played better music. Another man received treatment after being punched in the face. Cops from the Town and the City of Newburgh, New Windsor, Montgomery, Walden and state police responded, and Talarico says it took nearly two hours for police to restore order. “It just kept going on and on,” said Town of Newburgh Police Sgt. Peter Talarico. “It was a wedding party gone bad.” Cops say they broke up over 30 individual fights among the party guests, and arrested six people at the end of the night. Talarico said there will be no further investigation, because no one at the scene was cooperating with police. It doesn’t sound like they were even cooperating with themselves. Well this is interesting kharma for starting out your new life together. I’d hate to be there at the divorce.

 CONTROLLING WEATHER – BAD IDEA

It’s a holiday in Russia. Rain would be a no-no and would put a damper on all the festivities. What do you do? Let’s make it rain now so we get a nice day for the holiday. Right? Well, “A pack of cement used in creating … good weather in the capital region … failed to pulverize completely at high altitude and fell on the roof of a house, making a hole about 80-100cm,” police in Naro-Fominsk told agency RIA-Novosti. Oops, guess we screwed up with that one. Ahead of major public holidays the Russian Air Force often dispatches up to 12 cargo planes carrying loads of silver iodide, liquid nitrogen and cement powder to seed clouds above Moscow and empty the skies of moisture. Ok, doesn’t this mean that immediately thereafter it’s raining cement? Now it’s raining bags of cement.  June 12 was Russia Day, a patriotic holiday celebrating the country’s independence after the break-up of the Soviet Union. Stick to fireworks and hope for the best like we do. Cement? Bad idea.

PYTHONS MAKE BAD GUARD DOGS

“Sick ’em” deos not work for a snake. In Bridgeport, England, police were called when they received a report that Victor Rodriquez was threatening his girlfriend with a reptile. Is there such a thing as assault with a reptile?  Police Lt. James Viadero says that when the building superintendent opened the apartment door for the officers, Rodriguez allegedly threatened them with the snake and told it to “Get them!” The snake apparently saw no value in this since there was no live mice involved. Rodriguez and his pet were both taken away, Rodriguez to jail on a $10,000 bond, and the albino python to the city’s animal control shelter. They are no charges pending against the snake since he went quietly and refused to be an accomplice.

HULA HOOPS TURN 50

June 18 was the 50th anniversary on one of the funnest and most frustrating toys ever invented, the HUla Hoop. Those who learned to do it well were the envy of all those like me that threw our backs out of joint trying. I felt that my back and the hula hoop deserved this recognition.

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PAULA JONES JENNIFER FLOWERS WEBSITE, UFO COLLISION, CONFESSIONAL SEX, NAIL IN THE HEAD, AND CHEETA WALK OF FAME PETITION

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2008 by mclassen

PAULA JONES AND GENNIFER FLOWERS TEAM-UP FOR CLINTON BASHING WEBSITE

Apparently these two weren’t receiving enough attention lately. So, to rectify that oversight, Paula Jones and Gennifer Flowers have teamed up for their own website. On it you can watch them relate tales of illicite experiences the two had with Bill Clinton and it’s only for the low low price of  $1.99 a pop. I guess they just wanted to have their own Pay-per-view. Yes it seems the two are broke as well. Since they haven’t had any tabloid attention in years it seems their flash in the pan celebrity status has dried up. The two were out in front of the Clinton Presidential library Monday hucking their site. “It’s a way we can get our story out there in our own words, without someone making their own interpretations or corrections,” Jones said. In other words, you can lie your ass off and not get caught by some savvy newperson has actually done their homework. Yea, I can see where that presents problems. Well, it’s always amusing to watch has beens try to recapture glory days.

Paula Jones and Gennifer Flowers, June 9

 

ROMANIAN JET FIGHTER COLLIDES WITH UFO

A report that has been recently leaked shows that a Romanian jet fighter had a collision with a UFO. Chief investigator Commander Nicolae Grigorie said in the report: ‘We can definitely say what this thing was not, but we cannot say what it was.’ Romanian defence ministry officials have ruled out all normal types of collision such as birdstrikes, ice or small meteorites. Pilot Marin Mitrica was slightly injured but managed to land the plane safely after the incident last year. According to the report, the cockpit was completely shattered during a training flight over Transylvania and it was recorded on an inflight video. I’m sure we’ll never get to see that one. Transylvania, I wonder if they were bats, or maybe a vampire returning home. You need to give those creatures of the night lots of airspace.

 SEX IN THE CONFESSIONAL.

People have made love in a lot of strange places but this one just about takes the prize. In Cesena, Italy a couple were caught having sex in a confessional box while mass was going on. They say those Italians are hot-blooded. The couple’s lawyer says they had been drinking too much and had gone too far. That demon alcohol will get you every time. Although I have to admit I’ve never heard that little devil on my shoulder whispering “Have sex in the confessional, go ahead, I know you want to.” It haas been reported that the couple have repented and asked forgiveness. They’re going to be “Hail Mary”ing for awhile on that one. Last week the bishop celebrated a “Mass of reparation” in the cathedral where the confessional box incident took place to make up for the sacrilege. Hopefully they also celebrated a good hosing down with a lot of disinfectant.

MAN SHOT IN HEAD WITH NAIL GUN

George Chandler of Shawnee, Kansas was outside working on a project when the cord for his nail gun got tangled. It accidentally went off and a nail was shot into his head. “It never did really what you call hurt,” the Shawnee man said Wednesday. He says he only felt a little sting. Chandler said his friend Phil Kern was using a nail gun to mount lattice on Chandler’s deck when a hose on the powerful tool became caught. He stood up just as Kern tried to free the gun and it discharged. At first, they couldn’t locate the nail. But then Kern saw it, he ordered Chandler to sit down while he called 911. Dude, look where you’re pointing that thing. An emergency room doctor tried unsuccessfully to remove the nail with a pair of pliers.”He looked at me and said, ‘I need a claw hammer,'” Chandler recalled. “I thought, ‘Ah, he’s just teasing.'”So the doctor borrowed a claw hammer from a worker to finish the job and sent Chandler home with a few stitches. “He got a screwdriver at the same time, and he took the screwdriver and pried the nail up a little bit and got the claw hammer,” Chandler said. You know, maybe taking some off classes like carpentry for your medical degree can come in handy. The doctor was probably a fan of “This Old House.” It brings to mind the old axiom, “If all else fails, get a bigger hammer.”

HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME STAR FOR AN APE?

You bet. Cheeta the famous movie chimp deserves a star. I know I was entertained for endless hours watching those Tarzan movies with the antics of Cheeta taking center stage. There were times he upstaged the actors. Believe it or not, the 76-year-old chimp, who the Guinness World Records has called the oldest living, non-human primate, is retired and lives in Palm Springs. Cheeta also has a MySpace page, which lists painting “Ape-Stract Art” among his hobbies, and The Monkees his favorite band. Now there is a petiton going around to get him a star on the Walk of Fame. Actually, this is the seventh attempt at it. Other animal stars like Lassie and Rin Tin Tin are there. Heck even Godzilla and Donald Duck are there and they aren’t even real. Cheeta has certainly paid his dues and deserves this coveted recognition. Heck I say why stop there, lifetime achievement award from the Academy. Go here to help correct this sad error and give some love to Cheeta. http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/GoCheeta/ He’s been waiting a long time for this. Let’s not disappoint him.