AMY WINEHOUSE’S RACIST CRACK VIDEO
A video has been released showing Amy Winehouse in a crack dive singing racist songs. Now this isn’t much of a revelation since most of us already knew she was on crack. The interesting thing about his video is that she may be prosecuted for it. The video which was filmed by her husband Blake in 2007, currently in jail, showed the troubled singer sitting by a table, spread with what has been reported as heroin and drug paraphernalia. Actually, I’m surprised she hasn’t used it in one of her music videos. “Why I’m not going to rehab no, no, no.” This evidence has come into light just days after Britain’s top police officer, Sir Ian Blair, called for celebrities caught snorting drugs on camera to be put on trial. Since the evidence is so ovewherlming in Winehouse’s case she may become a test for Blair’s theory. “My position is that a sensible jury would not expect people to be sniffing talcum powder.” Recently the star has been getting publicity as going to rehab and getting her life back in order, though I for one am not buying her reformed attitude. The video shows exactly how much of a disaster she is. But this new kink in the life of bizzarro Amy certainly could put her back into tailspin mode. She has been making noise about wanting to be a mommy so she can join the ranks of Michael Jackson and Brittney Spears as disfuntional celebrities that should never be allowed to reproduce. Can you see her and Blake trying to raise a kid. It makes you shudder.
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN – THE OPERA?
Here’s a genius concept. Let’s turn Brokeback Mountain into an opera. Yes, plans are in the works to convert the academy award winning film into an opera. I can hardly wait, singing cowboys, yuck. The New York City Opera commissioned Charles Wuorinen to compose an opera based on “Brokeback Mountain,” the 1997 short story by Annie Proulx. “Ever since encountering Annie Proulx’s extraordinary story I have wanted to make an opera on it, and it gives me great joy that Gerard Mortier and New York City Opera have given me the opportunity to do so,” Wuorinen said in a statement. They’re aiming for a release date of 2013. Hey aren’t people saying the world will end in 2012? Well maybe that’s the bright side to that, we won’t have to put up with this opera.
COLLEGE INSTATES MONKEY GOD AS CHAIRMAN
I’m not sure how good of an idea this is. Hanuman, the popular god known for his strength and valor, has been named official chairman of the recently opened Sardar Bhagat Singh College of Technology and Management in northern India, a school official said Saturday. Has anyone looked at his resume. He’s a monkey god! Monkeys like mischief, not business. “It is our belief that any job that has the blessings of Lord Hanuman is bound to be a success,” said Vivek Kangdi. Blessing, yes, actually running the show, not well thought out. The position comes with an incense-filled office, a desk and a laptop computer. Four chairs will be placed facing the empty seat reserved for the chairman and all visitors must enter the office barefoot, said Kangdi, the school’s vice chairman. It seems to me it is going to make it awfully hard to get any decisions here. “When we were looking for a chairman for our institution, we scanned many big names in the field of technology and management. Ultimately, we settled for Lord Hanuman, as none was bigger than him,” Kangdi said. I think next time they should consider an employment service. Though I expect the monkey god works for bananas.
METAL BAR IN MAN’S HEAD
Donovan McGowan lived with the piece of metal inside him for three months after an operation. You would think he’d have done something about this sooner. It’s not like you can’t notice this. The 18-year-old suffered from blinding headaches and also had an unsightly lump on the side of his head. Eventually, he demanded a scan and it was then doctors found the bar. Duh, It’s right there. They said, “This is quite embarrassing but there is something metallic like a tube still in your head. It’s been more than embarrassing for me having to walk about with this lump,” said Mr McGowan, from Glasgow,Scotland. I bet it made it hard to pick up girls. The rod was left behind during an operation at Southern General Hospital, Glasgow, in March after he was hit by a car. From his picture he looks like still has part of the fender in his head.
ROBERT DOWNEY JR BURGER SAVIOR, ANTARCTIC CONDOMS, SHINY NEW OUTHOUSE, PIGEON REHAB, MICHIGAN METEOR, AND MOONDUST TELESCOPE
Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags AARP, Al, Antarctic, Art, auction, Baby Boomer, base, Batavia, Bill, blog, blogging, burger, Chen, comedy, commentary, condoms, conversations, Coury, Dallas, Darryl, digg, dope, Downey, Drugs, E-zine, Ebay, editorial, Elbert, Ezine, Family, fark.com, funny, Google, Greenbelt, Henriksen, history, homing, hospital, Humor, Indiana, Ironman, Jr, King, Lew, Life, literature, Love, Maryland, McMurdo, Meteorite, Michigan, Montgomery Alabama, Moondust, Music, Nanotubes, NASA, News, nude women, nudity, odd, Ohio, opinion, Outhouse, Peter, pigeon, Pitt, Politics, porn, Preston, race, random thoughts, rehab, Robert, ruminations, sex, Station, strange, Technology, telescope, Texas, The game is afoot, theonion.com, Thoughts, TV, Wanamaker, weird, women, wordpress.com, wordpress.org, Writing, Yahoo, zine on June 10, 2008 by mclassenROBERT DOWNEY JR SAVED BY BAD BURGER KING
This is one of those stories you can’t make up. Robert Downey Jr. claims to have been convinced to get straight by a bad burger experience at Burger King. In an interview with Britain’s Empire magazine, the 43-year-old actor recounts an incident in 2003 when he was driving around with “tons of f—ing dope” when he decided it was time for a burger. “I have to thank Burger King,” he told Empire. “It was such a disgusting burger I ordered. I had that, and this big soda, and I thought something really bad was going to happen.” After the bad burger experience, he said he tossed all of his drugs into the ocean and decided to sober up for good. I have to admit, I’ve had some pretty bad burgers at Burger King but I have yet to experience the epiphany burger. I wonder what they put on one of those. Apparently he got a combo with his. Burger King’s new Epiphany burger helping people with their lives and indigestion. Don’t forget the Tums.
ANTARCTIC RECEIVES 16,500 CONDOMS
It seems we’ve been missing out. It appears that when the sun goes down in the antarctic, the fun begins. Bill Henriksen, the manager of the McMurdo base station, said nearly 16,500 condoms were delivered last month and would be made available, free of charge, to staff throughout the year to avoid the potential embarrassment of having to buy them. Party on! Hats off folks. The base only has a skeleton staff through the winter but what a staff. “Since everybody knows everyone, it becomes a little bit uncomfortable,” Henriksen said. Frigid here doesn’t seem to be a problem. Sunrise starts again in late august and then supply flight resume and tourism picks up. Let’s see, 3 months, endless nightlife,16,500 condoms, that says orgy to me. I wonder what kind of cocktails they have down there. It may be cold and snowy down there, but they’ve obviously found something to occupy themselves. Put me down for a visit. Artic Researchers Gone Wild, it could be the next big thing. Where’s my video camera?
MAN FIGHTS TO KEEP OUTHOUSE – WINS
In Batavia, Ohio, Elbert Preston, everybody calls him Lew, refused to give up having an outhouse. It seems that his old one was violating a few health codes and the powers that be wanted it gone. Well, Lew wasn’t going to stand, or sit for that. A former trustee for Washington Township, he challenged the board of health for months before seeking help from People Working Cooperatively, a nonprofit that has done thousands of projects for low-income, elderly and disabled residents in southern Ohio and northern Kentucky. They built him a new outhouse, one that was up to codes. “It’s too nice and complicated to be an outhouse,” Lew said. “I call it a privy.” Preston, who is slowed by diabetes and has colon problems and pacemaker, said he never saw the need to replace the old outhouse, which once was picked up and carried into his garden by a tornado without major damage. He said he has used an outside toilet since settling in Washington Township 40 years ago and likes the privacy of a privy. “When you’re in a house, sounds carry, Everybody knows your business.” I’m guessing we won’t be seeing any high tech from this guy.
PIGEON ENTERS REHAB
Al Coury of Wanamaker, Indiana races pigeons. He sent several of them to Montgomery, Alabama to be released for a race which uses the birds instincts to race back home. First pigeons to their home loft wins the race. Well, one of his birds decided enough of this bird crap and decided he’d had enough. He found a nice hospital courtyard and checked himself in for some RandR. The pigeon went about making friends with the patients of the Meadows Hospital and even sat in on some group sessions held in the courtyard. The avian athelete, now dubbed Miss Pigeon had a band on its leg with Coury’s phone number on it and he was contacted. He told them to feed the bird unpopped popcorn and then went to reclaim the wayaward creature. There is no word on what the bill for the bird’s recovery will be. Do professional homing pigeons get health care?
METEORITE SHAPED LIKED MIGHIGAN GETS $20,000
A 75 pound meteorite shaped like Michigan’s lower peninsula fetched $20,000 at an auction in Dallas, Texas. The owner Darryl Pitt was disapointed. He felt it Should have gone for $50,000. Well times are hard Darryl and of course it’s no corn flake. A recent fiasco over an Illinois shaped cornflake fetching bids that neared $250,000 at one point was on Ebay. Maybe that was the problem, it wasn’t on Ebay. Darryl felt his meteor should rival one that sold not long ago that was shaped like the Indian subcontinent. That one went for $90,000, but it also weighed three-quarters of a ton. I guess in this case, size really does matter. Look at it this way, you sold a piece of space junk for 20 grand. You’re lucky you got that much.
TELESCOPE MADE FROM MOONDUST
Peter Chen, a NASA scientist feels he has found a practical way to build a telescope on the moon. Why we need one I haven’t quite figured out yet, but he thinks he can do it anyway. He wants to make it from moon dust. He has been experimenting with moon dust-like particles and has been able to creat a small example to show everyone he can do this. Of course we’re not talking real moondust and this may prove better in theory than practice. “We believe we have found a way to turn moon dust into a telescope,” said Peter Chen, with NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland. The process require combining nanotubes, small carbon fibers, and crushed rock that simulates moondust. Actually it sounds like he was making mudpies to me. “First we had something very gooey and smelly,” Chen told reporters at the American Astronomical Society meeting last week. “Then we had this very hard, very stable material like concrete.” Yep, mud pies. OK, adobe. The latin Americans discovered that a long time ago. Chen feels his process can create a structure and the entire telescope system. Isn’t this really redundant? With Hubble working so well, why do we need one on the moon. But then again, we just spent billions to find salt on Mars, I guess we might as well spend a few billion more to make some mudpies on the moon. The real problem is there’s way too much grant money floating around for projects like this.
Leave a comment »