Archive for tourism

GAY MARRIAGES BOOST TOURISM, TICKLING BANDIT, BORNEO BIGFOOT, AND KIDNAPPED FOR DISHES

Posted in Art, Books, celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Ezine, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, video, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 17, 2008 by mclassen

 GAY MARRIAGES BOOST CALIFORNIA TOURISM

Now that California has legalized gay marriage, it has produced an unexpected boon, tourism. Yes, tourism. Because they allow non-resident marriage, same sex couples are flocking to have their relationships legalized. Hundreds of thousands of couples are expected to make the journey from wherever they live to take advantage of the new law. Analysts are calling it a mini-industry. I bet not many saw this coming. Since currently California has a monopoly on this, many businesses there are gearing up for a tourist boom. “Spending by resident same sex couples on their weddings and by out-of-state couples will boost California’s economy by over 683.6 million dollars in direct spending over the next three years,” a UCLA study reported, adding that the new industry would create around 2,100 new jobs. This has to be the only state that is prospering during the current gas crunch. Many cities are advertising themselves as “Gay Friendly” destinations and are offering special honeymoon packages. So, California or Bust, go west young couples, there’s gold in them there hills. This ought to help California’s debt problems.

PRANKSTER BANDIT CAUGHT

This would be more annoying than dangerous. A Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada man, Murray Richmond, was caught for several break-ins. He has been dubbed the “tickling bandit,” but that doesn’t describe half this guys oddities. In one case, a man awoke to find Richmond tickling his feet, and later found his washing machine full of chips and cereal. I wonder if he added dip and milk.  As well, Richmond twice broke into an 80-year-old man’s home, on one occasion saying he would be the man’s “long weekend nurse,” before stealing several items and leaving. Promises, promises, promises. A psychiatric report has reached the obvious conslusion that the man is a pathological liar and is mentally ill. Believe it or not someone gets paid to come up with these conclusions. Now that the world is safe from this merry prankster bandit, folks can sleep easier knowing their feet won’t be tickled in the night. 

BORNEO BIGFOOT

A long time ago there used to be legends about a Wild Man of Borneo. P.T. Barnum had claimed he’d seen it and what he called one on display. It was actually a really hairy unkept bum he’d found and talked into joining his sideshow.  Well now there really may be something to those old Wild man stories. Tan Soon Kuang, a businessman of the Daro district in Borneo has taken photographs of two footprints that local villagers showed him. Suppossedly they measure 47 inches from heel to toe and are 17 inches across. Yes, this is a REALLY bigfoot. This is not something you want to run into on a dark night. Asked when and how he went to the village and took the photos, Tan answered: “I went there last Wednesday, June 11 after I heard about the news. I drove about five minutes from Daro town to the village. Then, I walked on foot along a footpath for quite a few minutes to the place where I met many villagers who were gathered there. Then some villagers pointed to the big footprints. I was shocked to see them and excited as I took those photographs.” On his conversation with the villagers, he said: “When I asked the villagers the first time they discovered the two big footprints, they told me it was June 9. They also told me they now recall that before they came across the footprints, the villagers had, a few months ago felt uncomfortable and sick as if there was something ‘unclean’ in the air. They said they decided to look for a ‘bomoh’ (medicine man) who told them to go to an area, dig a small hole, then build a fence around it.” Nothing like a little native superstition to add to the mystery. Like most weird prints like this, they are being called a hoax, which of course is entirely possible and even likely. Tan is refusing to name the village where he took these citing that he wishes to protect them from the public. How come there’s always something missing in these stories, like proof. 

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MAN KIDNAPS EX-GIRLFRIEND FOR MAID SERVICE

A man in Genoa, Italy accosted his ex-girlfriend in a local pub. He shoved her in a car and took her to his house. There she was forced to do the most obscene acts, dishes and ironing. Yes, the man was furious that she had left him, none of the housework was getting done. Police arrived after being tipped off by a friend of the woman’s who had seen her being kidnapped by the man. He was arrested. Now the jail staff will be doing his housework. Mission accomplished, I guess.

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ASTROLOGERS PREDICT ELECTION, FUTURE HOTEL, LOST PARROT, DREW CAREY’S PROMISE, AND FLYING PENIS

Posted in Art, Books, Culture, Entertainment, Events, Family, Food, Humor, Life, Love, Media, Movies, Music, News, Personal, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Random, Religion, Sports, Technology, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 22, 2008 by mclassen

ASTROLOGERS PREDICT OBAMA WILL WIN

Well, we can all go home now. The astrologers have spoken, election’s over. At a conference in Denver, a group of astrologers did the charts for the presidential candidates. Six panelists predicted the election will go to Barack Obama, thanks to a Saturn-Jupiter conjunction which predicts change. That’s so precise. No matter who wins it means change. The seventh panelist, Shelley Ackerman, saw an Obama win, but worried about Neptune doing something funky in January, endangering his chances of actually taking office. Her colleagues agreed the stars did look dicey in this respect. Keep in mind this is Denver and the oxygen is a little thin there. “Obama’s chart and the United States’ chart are very much alike,” said Sandra Leigh Serio. “From an astrological standpoint, he’s a man of destiny. (John) McCain also has a strong connection to the U.S. chart.” Hillary Clinton? Not so much, apparently. “There’s a little more confusion with her and the U.S. chart,” Serio said. Confusion? I think the whole thing is confusing. The astrologers have left themselves a way out though. “We don’t have a single solid birth chart,” panelist Robert Hand told the crowd. “If those dates are wrong, everything I say is garbage.” And Serio said the panel was “doing this in the shadows of Mercury and Neptune — this might not have any validity at all in a few months.” I told you they had an excuse. Hand ominously noted there would be an eclipse of the sun in August, with Mercury ascending for George W. Bush. This seemed to portend election-day shenanigans. So, much for accuracy. Well, the planets are in line and the stars have spoken. Obama Wins. Now we can all stay home and call it quits.  I guess I’m not all that “star” struck with this. I’m voting anyway.

SHELLEY ACKERMAN – ASTROLOGER PANELIST

Astrologer Shelley Ackerman

 

HOTEL CHAIN’S FUTURE PLANS…ON THE MOON

A budget hotel company has decided to look ahead, way ahead. They are making plans for expansion on the moon and have already purchased a plot. I haven’t found out where it is located or who they bought it from. Who does the moon actually belong to? Premier Inns says it will be welcoming travellers right off the space shuttle within 25 years. They feel that lunar tourism will be common in the next 20 to 30 years and they want to be prepared. ‘The challenges are unique and no doubt as we learn more we will adapt and improve our designs,’ said the company’s construction director, Alex Flach. Challenges are right, less gravity, no air, no McDonalds…yet. I think I still prefer the Carribean.

TEACH YOUR PARROT HOW TO GET HOME

A lost African Gray Parrot named Yosuke has been returned to his owners in Tokyo, Japan because of an unusual trick. The Nakamura family had spent nearly two years teaching the bird their, name and home address including the street number. Police had found the bird on a rooftop and had brought it to the police station, but the bird wasn’t about to spill to the cops. This bird knew his rights and remained silent. It was when Yosuke was turned over to a veterinarian that he began to sing. Actually hekept everybody at the vet’s entertained with his singing. But, in between tunes, he recited his owner’s name and address. They checked and sure enough Yosuke’s owners were there and grateful to get their parrot back. You see, it pays to educate your pets. Yosuke’s mug shot is below.

Yosuke the parrot rests in his cage at his home in Nagareyama ... 

 

DREW CAREY’S PROMISE TO SOCCER FANS

Drew Carey has become part owner in the Seattle Sounders, a new Major League Soccer team. Even though he is a minor owner, it hasn’t stopped him from rattling a few trees right off the get go. Carey is promising season ticket holders that they can fire the team’s general manager once every four years if they don’t like how the team is doing. It’ll be interesting to see how this pans out. Fans with power over your job is a scary thing. Personally I think this would make it hard to get a good manager but I can also see the appeal from a fan perspective. Well, we’ll see how long this lasts. And we’ll see how long it is before the other owners dump Drew.
  

ATTACK OF THE FLYING PENIS

Those crazy Russians are at it again. At a political rally in Russia, a thus far unique kind of disruption occurred. Young Russian activists turned loose a modified radio controlled helicopter. It had become a flying penis. Yes folks it was a flying dick. It made It’s rather disrupting appearance during an address being given by Russian Premier Kasparov, who to his credit took it in stride as best he could. I suspect vodka was involved in the creation of this strange little device. One of Kasparov’s bodyguards risked life and limb and slapped the menacing penis to the floor and then stomped on it. There might be something Freudian in that. If there was a political message attached to this, it was too obscure for me to get it.

flying penis