HILLARY CLINTON CONCESSION, BASEBALL FUNERAL WINNER, FLY LONGEVITY, LOST LIGHTHOUSE, AND TOWEL TUMOR

HILLARY CLINTON WILL CONCEDE

Certainly this was inevitable but, I have to admit, I’m going to miss her, though I don’t believe for a minute she’s out of the picture completely. She has made a statement that she will concede the nomination to Barack Obama on Saturday. She also is saying that she will continue to support the Democratic Party. The way they’ve treated her, I think she’s being quite magnanimous. She has proven over the last few weeks especially, that she is an incredibly gutsy lady. The press has villified her and nominated Barack Obama for sainthood. It is the same with the Democratic Party which blatantly stacked the deck against her. It was certainly a sad way to operate. I’ve never been a political supporter of Hillary, but I have grown to admire her. In the last few weeks she became more “real” and down to earth than we’ve seen in a candidate in a long time. I think no matter which way this election goes now, the American public loses.  

Young College Hillary

Starbucks Hillary

Photobooth Hillary

Relaxed Hillary

Hippy Hillary

BASEBALL FAN GETS FREE FUNERAL

I’m not sure I’d be all that thrilled by winning this. Elaine Fulps is thrilled about the prize she won at a minor league baseball game. But she’s hoping she doesn’t have to collect on it anytime soon. Fulps, 60, won a $10,000 paid funeral at Tuesday night’s Grand Prairie AirHogs game. “I’m going to pick a spot under a tree out of the Texas heat,” she said. “And let’s hope it’s a pet-free cemetery. I don’t want to get watered on.” At least she has plans. Some finalists for the prize arrived dressed in black or looking like death. There were events for the finalists too. They participated in a pallbearer’s race, a mummy wrap and a eulogy delivery. These are certainly strange events for a baseball game. I think the Texas heat has gotten to the management. I have no idea who won the game or who the Airhogs were playing. It seems that the game just passed on.

STUDY ON THE LONGEVITY OF A FLY

I don’t know who’s idea this was but in Switzerland, at the University of Laussane, a study was done that proves the stupider flies are, the longer they live. Scientists Tadeusz Kawecki and Joep Burger said Wednesday they had discovered a “negative correlation between an improvement in a fly’s mental capacity and its longevity”. Why would you want to know this? Do we want more intelligent flies? These two actually took the time to breed 30 to 40 generations of flies and then tried to train them to be smarter. They succeeded, but the downside was that the flies had a shorter lifespan.  The flipside was that the flies left in their natural state lived longer on average than their IQ enhanced counterparts, with a lifespan of 80-85 days rather than the normal 50-60. How much money and time was spent on this? Sombody needs to tell me why this was important.

DID YOU EVER LOSE A LIGHTHOUSE?

A lighthouse from Wellfleet, Massachussetts has been discovered in California. Formerly it was believed it had been torn down but now documents have been uncovered which proves that it was moved from the east coast to the west coast.  The strange story was uncovered by Colleen MacNeney and then reported in Lighthouse Digest. She says it was her most exciting discovery. MacNeney says she discovered correspondence that proved the lighthouse, first erected in 1881, had been moved by the Coast Guard from Wellfleet to Yerba Buena, Calif., and eventually to Point Montara. Lost lighthouse found. It isn’t known how the 30ft. lighthouse was transported across country but it is speculated that in 1925 when it was suppossedly destroyed, the all metal structure had its bolts removed and was loaded up on a train. Hence the trip to California. California here I come. Go west young lighthouse, go west. The lighthouse is still in use and doubles as a hostel.

MAN’S TUMOR IS A TOWEL

A Japanese man checked into  a hospital to have a tumour removed from his stomach. When examinations found what was believed to be an eight-centimetre (3.2-inch) tumour, he underwent the operation to remove it. It was only then that surgeons realised it was a towel. “The towel was greenish blue although we are not sure about its original colour,” the Asahi General Hospital spokesman said, adding it had been crumpled to the size of a softball. The patient had been carrying the cloth since 1983, when surgeons at the Asahi General Hospital in Chiba prefecture near Tokyo left it in him after an operation to treat an ulcer. I’m staying away from that hospital. That’s a little too careless for me. The man says he has no intention of sueing for the error. I don’t think I would be that understanding. No wonder the Prilosec wasn’t working.

AWESOME!
This is one of the most breathtaking videos I’ve ever seen. This was filmed in Kansas and now you know how Dorothy made it to OZ.

 

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BO DIDDLEY, KURT COBAIN’S ASHES, WASHERS STUCK ON PENIS, AND ELVIS IN ENGLAND

THE GREAT BO DIDDLEY PASSES AWAY 
Rock and Roll pioneer and one of a kind Bo Diddley passed away in his home in Archer, Florida at the age of 79. Virtually every musician was influenced by Diddley from the Rolling Stones to George Thoroughgood. Eric Burdon and the Animals did a song called Bo Diddley about a life changing encounter Burdon had with him in a local pub. The Bo Diddley rhythm and beat is iconic with no other like it with countless musicians copying it. All these years he played with a homemade square box guitar that wa just as recognizable as he was.  By his early teens, Diddley was playing Chicago’s Maxwell Street. “I came out of school and made something out of myself. I am known all over the globe, all over the world. There are guys who have done a lot of things that don’t have the same impact that I had,” he said. Diddley, like other artists of his generations, was paid a flat fee for his recordings and said he received no royalty payments on record sales. He also said he was never paid for many of his performances. “I am owed. I’ve never got paid,” he said. “A dude with a pencil is worse than a cat with a machine gun.” Growing up, Diddley said he had no musical idols, and he wasn’t entirely pleased that others drew on his innovations. “I don’t like to copy anybody. Everybody tries to do what I do, update it,” he said. “I don’t have any idols I copied after. They copied everything I did, upgraded it, messed it up. It seems to me that nobody can come up with their own thing, they have to put a little bit of Bo Diddley there,” he said. Because he only received a small portion of the money he made during his career, he continued to tour and record music until his stroke. Between tours, he made his home near Gainesville in north Florida. “Seventy ain’t nothing but a damn number,” he told The Associated Press in 1999. “I’m writing and creating new stuff and putting together new different things. Trying to stay out there and roll with the punches. I ain’t quit yet.” Your music will rock forever Bo.
STORY OF BO DIDDLEY – ERIC BURDON AND THE ANIMALS

VINTAGE DIDDLEY – HIS SISTER THE DUTCHESS ON RHYTHM GUITAR

ENCORE!
 

KURT COBAIN’S ASHES STOLEN

Courtney Love is said to be suicidal” after a teddy bear shaped bag containing the ashes of her late husband, grunge rock legend Kurt Cobain, was stolen from her Los Angeles home, according to reports. “I can’t believe anyone would take Kurt’s ashes from me.” Love says “I find it disgusting and right now I’m suicidal.” No surprise there. Courtney makes Keith Richards look like a temperance advocate. Love said the ashes-filled bag, along with thousands of dollars worth of jewelry and clothes, were taken from her home sometime in May. Why was there, expensive jewery in there? And clothes? You’re wearing Kurt ash covered clothes? “If I don’t get them back I don’t know what I’ll do,” she said. Knowing her, she was probably passed out on the bathroom floor while they were stealing them. After Cobain’s death in 1994, portions of his ashes were scattered at a Buddhist temple in New York and in the Wishkah River near his birth home of Aberdeen, Wash. The rest of his remains stayed with his widow, who said she “used to take them everywhere with me just so I could feel Kurt was still with me. Now it feels like I have lost him all over again.” You’re the idiot that stored jewelry in there. Right now Kurt’s ashes are probably being twisted up in a doobie somewhere. You know ashes to bong ashes.

MAN GETS WASHERS STUCK ON PENIS

I’m not sure how this happened. Actually I’m not sure I want to know how this happened, but a man in Hornsby, Australia underwent surgery to have 16 washers removed from his penis. He had first called the local firemen to come and help get them off, but when they were unsuccessful after trying for over an hour. He was transported to the local hospital. What I want to know is did these professionals maintain a professional attitude throughout or did they, as I would have, burst out in a fit of laughter at the absudity of this yo-yo’s plight. At the hospital he underwent three hours of surgery to extricate the trapped appendage. The origin of this had to be some drunken bet. I know don’t ask, don’t tell. It’s reported that he won’t undergo any lasting permanent effects from the mishap. No one knows how this happened and his name has not been released. I wouldn’t want my name released either.

ELVIS TERRORIZES SMALL TOWN IN ENGLAND

For those of you that are still out looking for Elvis, we’ve found him in England. He’s been harrassing the residents of Wilsden, West Yorkshire and they are about to slap him with an anti social behavior citation. Yes, Elvis is creating a public nuisance of himself. Elvis, has been accused of dive-bombing people and wrecking street lights when owner Edward Pikul lets him out. Dive-bombing, owner letting him out? Oh that’s right, this Elvis is a parrot. He also acts like a juvenile delinquent. ‘He is a lovely pet and would never harm anybody. If I had to imprison him in his cage, I would rather get rid of him,’ said 49-year-old Mr Pikul. ‘It’s true Elvis has a mischievous streak, he knows a few swear words and his shriek is quite loud but he’s an ­abs­olute joy to have.’ But one resident complained: “The bird is a nuisance. Just because he likes the parrot doesn’t mean he should terrorise the whole village with it. Elvis is just a mad old thing, he follows me when I go to work. He clings on to the van roof and holds on for dear life, then flies around until he feels like coming home.” I’m picturing this and I keep coming up with a Benny Hill skit. Not everyone is against Elvis. He has local fans. Pikul and his daughter Melissa, pictured below with Elvis, are receiving calls and emails supporting Elvis and his wayward lifestyle. “He is gorgeous and to see him flying around is magnificent,’ said Helen Smith, anti-social behaviour officer for Bradford Council. ‘But he has a dark side.” Stay away from the dark side Elvis.

DEMOCRAT DELEGATE DECISION, PRINCESS BEA, TOWER OF PISA, AND HARVEY KORMAN

DEMOCRATS DECIDE ABOUT DELEGATE DISPUTE

At the “let’s give Hillary the shaft” meeting Saturday, Democratic Party officials came to a decision concerning what to do about the votes in Michigan and Florida that had been disqualified. They have agreed to seat all of the delegates, but they will only get half a vote. This was done to insure that Obama retains the lead in the delegate count insuring Clinton lags behind. Obama says he’s happy, Clinton says she will appeal. No surprise there. Apparently the Democratic Party REALLY wants Obama for their candidate. “How can you call yourselves Democrats if you don’t count the vote?” one man in the audience shouted before being escorted out by security. “This is not the Democratic Party!” The committee also ruled that Obama should receive some of the Michigan delegates, though he chose not to have his name on the ballot there. This effectively slaps Clinton in the face from her own party. It’s not nice to hit a lady. But then, there’s been nothing nice about this controversy from the start.  Proponents of full seating continuously interrupted the committee members as they explained their support of the compromise, then supporters of the deal shouted back. “Shut up!” one woman shouted at another. “You shut up!” the second woman shouted back. Jim Roosevelt, co-chair of the committee, tried repeatedly to gavel it to order. “You are dishonoring your candidate when you disrupt the speakers,” he scolded. Well it looks like unity in this party has gone right down the drain. If nothing else, it’s going to make for interesting watching on the television. In the meantime, I’m sure the lawyers will take over and more idiocy will ensue. Party unity? Not with this election.

PRINCESS BEATRICE GETS SOME TABLOID ATTENTION

Being a public figure must be real pain in the butt. You can’t even go swimming without some idiot criticizing you. In this case it’s Princess Bea in a bikini. Sarah Ferguson, otherwise nicknamed Fergie, her mother is up in arms, no doubt over the fact that she was raked over the coals for being overweight a few years back. Now it’s her daughter and she’s yelling leave my kids alone. Well, they’re public figures and this is bound to happen. The picture below is reprinted along with the cover of the rag that printed it on an obvious slow news day with nothing else to report.  Well, there’s nothing like a few Bea stinging remarks to sell papers. This was snapped when she was out for some R&R with her boyfriend Dave Clark. I wonder if he calls her “Honey Bea?” She was supposedly out looking for a new home while she was attending college, the “Bea Hive.” Her parents weren’t thinking when they named her this were they? That’s what you call a royal brain fart. If she would have been wearing a hat she could have been the Bea in a bonnet. She is in line for the throne which would, of course make her Queen Bea. Yea I went there. If she has kids are they drones or workers? Only time will tell.

THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA FIXED?

The Italians have stabilized one of their most visited tourist attractions, the leaning tower of Pisa. This building which was built on not-so-solid ground has been leaning further and further every year, which would of course eventually reach a point of toppling. Then it would would be the fallen, crumbled, rubble of the Tower of Pisa, Or it would be the Tower formerly known as Leaning. the tower has been closed to tourists,  since 1990 and work to stablize the building has been ongoing.  The workers even managed to straighten the building 1 1/2 feet of it’s previous lean. Now it’s the not quite so leaning tower of Pisa. The engineers estimate that they have given the tower another 300 years of leaning. The Tower of Pisa, leaning for the future.

HARVEY KORMAN

Here’s a quick remembrance of Harvey Korman who passed away last week. We’ll remember him the way he would want us to, making us laugh.